95 out of a 100 on my Relationship Satisfaction Test. Interesante:
Feeling Fulfilled, Appreciated and Loved:
Your results indicate that overall, you appear to feel very loved and appreciated by your partner. This is definitely very important, as it provides a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in a relationship. Even if you may feel slightly less cherished than usual, you seem to realize that this is a normal occurrence in most relationships. After all, our partners are only human and can’t give us undivided love and attention 24-hours-a-day!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I think I've become too childish
I'll have to work on it. I used to be too mature, but in such a way that people wouldn't get a full disgust of me. I also hated to be ordered around, or expected to do something just because someone said to. I was the type that would tell a person "No." to their face, and then, when I was confident they weren't looking, I'd do it and get it done. But then I would either say it wasn't me, or just not respond if they asked if I did it for them, because I felt it was too silly to ask for credit for things I did because I wanted or felt obligated to do it. Now I'm the type that would still do it, but I feel like I would wag my tail and pant, going "Thank me, thank me. Love me, Love me!" That's not what I want. Actually, I'm getting a little tired of myself. I've become too typical. I'm not mature enough. I don't have enough backbone to openly declare myself anymore. I worry for others and then get misunderstood. I do things for others that they didn't ask of me because I thought they wanted it, and find that they don't appreciate my doing it. Or misunderstand me. Or don't realize my intent at all.... Whelp, I feel like I've done enough. I want to work on myself, and make it easier to openly depend on me. But what I really want is to go home for a bit. I'll hate it, I'll get in trouble, I'll likely get yelled at and pushed around and ignored, but I'd like to go home. I've been away for a little too long. It's been over a month now. And my instinct to go home is getting weaker. It's not that I don't like it at college, it's that I like it too much. And my mom's birthday is in two weeks. I still need to get her a gift. I can't go this weekend, it's Valentines and I need to spend that with my beloved Valentine. I shouldn't go next weekend because it's an event that I'm on the committee of. And the next weekend, I'm sure, will be something else.
Ugh. I'd forgotten crying gives me headaches, and I forgot just how moved I become by seeing unity or hearing of self-sacrifice. I get my compie back tomorrow. Oh, I didn't blog yesterday, did i? I have been demoted to a back-up worker. Now I only work when they call and ask if I'm free because they're too busy. Lovely....I'll have to find another job. I hate the idea of it, but the store next door to my old job is hiring, and its close. I feel like I'll end up working the entire block eventually though, and I really don't like that idea.
I need to focus less on my happy times and social life and more on my school work and learning. I've really gotten rusty with my commitments to learning in the last 3 years. At least I've got the opportunity to learn more and fix what I've made of myself. Standing up for right probably means admitting when someone else was in the wrong, doesn't it? -_- I'm really bad at that. I feel they should confess, and I shouldn't interfere. Even if I end up blamed for things that weren't my fault. But isn't that making excuses, or pushing the blame on others? Or it seems that way. I'm really twisted in some ways, aren't i?
Also, I don't like begging or purposeful coercion, but I tried it out last night. And I still don't like it very much. I then feel like they aren't really wanting to do what I've asked, and then I feel guilty and self-hate sets in. I feel really low. uggggh. My thoughts are too heavy for my mind. Either way, I just wanted to try to work out some thoughts and even though there's even more questions than answers then there were when I started, I feel a bit better getting them out. I know my thought process is hard to follow, so I think I might ask that you not try to see connections too much. It'll hurt your brain if I explain it.
On a lighter note, I love when bf hugs me. I feel beautiful and comforted and truly cared for. Isn't that the greatest set of feelings that any simple act can inspire? ^_^
Quote of the day: I feel pretty, oh so pretty, so lovely, and shiny and gaaaaaaaaay. And I pity, any fool that isn't me, todaaaaay." -Anger Management-My own interpretation of it.
Funny video (To me, since it doesn't exactly suit the correct characters) but I don't like the screaming very much:
This one's pretty cool:
Ugh. I'd forgotten crying gives me headaches, and I forgot just how moved I become by seeing unity or hearing of self-sacrifice. I get my compie back tomorrow. Oh, I didn't blog yesterday, did i? I have been demoted to a back-up worker. Now I only work when they call and ask if I'm free because they're too busy. Lovely....I'll have to find another job. I hate the idea of it, but the store next door to my old job is hiring, and its close. I feel like I'll end up working the entire block eventually though, and I really don't like that idea.
I need to focus less on my happy times and social life and more on my school work and learning. I've really gotten rusty with my commitments to learning in the last 3 years. At least I've got the opportunity to learn more and fix what I've made of myself. Standing up for right probably means admitting when someone else was in the wrong, doesn't it? -_- I'm really bad at that. I feel they should confess, and I shouldn't interfere. Even if I end up blamed for things that weren't my fault. But isn't that making excuses, or pushing the blame on others? Or it seems that way. I'm really twisted in some ways, aren't i?
Also, I don't like begging or purposeful coercion, but I tried it out last night. And I still don't like it very much. I then feel like they aren't really wanting to do what I've asked, and then I feel guilty and self-hate sets in. I feel really low. uggggh. My thoughts are too heavy for my mind. Either way, I just wanted to try to work out some thoughts and even though there's even more questions than answers then there were when I started, I feel a bit better getting them out. I know my thought process is hard to follow, so I think I might ask that you not try to see connections too much. It'll hurt your brain if I explain it.
On a lighter note, I love when bf hugs me. I feel beautiful and comforted and truly cared for. Isn't that the greatest set of feelings that any simple act can inspire? ^_^
Quote of the day: I feel pretty, oh so pretty, so lovely, and shiny and gaaaaaaaaay. And I pity, any fool that isn't me, todaaaaay." -Anger Management-My own interpretation of it.
Funny video (To me, since it doesn't exactly suit the correct characters) but I don't like the screaming very much:
This one's pretty cool:
Friday, February 6, 2009
I have heartburn....and no Pepto
So sad.... so, I fell asleep twice today. And did other things that, honestly, surprised me. I got to eat out for lunch, and ate every meal with bf. Dinner was yummy enough with C and bf. Then bf and I went to the library for coffee and cookies and water. On our way back we sat out in the cold and listened to preacher that bf really agreed with. (I wanted to hear the mister) He was the nicest, most effective one I've heard to date. Then we finally returned to C's room, and commenced to read Post Secrets (I posted some comments under Craig's name, but I think he'll delete them) and do homework. Then bf and went back to my place, ended up in a wrestle/tickle fight and he left after less than an hour. *cry* I'm sad that hardly anyone has updated their blogs.... But my lovely Rozfire is here for me so I won't be sad! ^_^ I hope everyone is having a good day, and has a wonderful weekend.
Quote of the Day: "....And so that's what I believe happens after you die." ... "I....I pray that you can see the benefit and love that God has for you." -Okay, I basically screwed this up, but my theory on death totally floored the poor man. He looked at me with sorta "Wow....interesting person" eyes though when he talked with me. Heehee. I will have you know though, I was completely serious in my discussion with these gentlemen. I did not play with their beliefs in an effort to overset them. They were too earnest for that.
Quote of the Day: "....And so that's what I believe happens after you die." ... "I....I pray that you can see the benefit and love that God has for you." -Okay, I basically screwed this up, but my theory on death totally floored the poor man. He looked at me with sorta "Wow....interesting person" eyes though when he talked with me. Heehee. I will have you know though, I was completely serious in my discussion with these gentlemen. I did not play with their beliefs in an effort to overset them. They were too earnest for that.
Crying while the milk still spills
Does nothing helpful, I swear. I'm more the kinda girl that would pick it up before much more spilled, and THEN panic. lol. I don't really have much to say about today. It was .... interesting. I woke up more zombified than I have in over two months. I went to class, was late, got bubble tea (because i thought bf was in class), came back, talked to teacher, bf picked me up, we ate at a different place from normal, so we didn't eat with C, then we went a meeting where most things were really more of a headache than a help, then returned my movies, and picked up the box my mommy sent me. I have new jeans, YAY~! I also have new books.....damn...the temptation....lol. I should really get to bed, and I can't seem to find new AMVs of one of my favorite mangas....how sad.... Funny how bf's thoughts reversed after he had a day to think it over. ^_^. I found it a little amazing. I think I really am too tired now for anything else, I'm sorry this is all I can offer, since I had alot of great thoughts I wanted to share before. G'niiiiight.
A fun video to watch:
Quote of the Day: "In the end, it's just you and me, to die or be free." ~I made it up.
A fun video to watch:
Quote of the Day: "In the end, it's just you and me, to die or be free." ~I made it up.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
So, apparently I'm pregnant. Ask bf for details.
Okay, so I said I'd post that on AIM. But even I don't have the balls to face over 50 curious people about it. It's a temperary thing, take that as you like. (Yes, this just sounds worse and worse) So, today, I got to see bf for breakie, lunch, after lunch, and after my last class, all the way until midnight. I talked with my Spanish teacher about finding a tutor, and I did really well in Japanese. At least, the speaking portion. I apparently have a Sakuban due Friday. Bllleeeeeeh. In Badminton my scores aren't that great, but they aren't bad, and I'm good at actual PLAYING. I won against my opponent today. Then in English, I nearly got stuck writing the whole thing myself, but I got ....frustrated, and gave them tasks to do, basically telling them that if they didn't do it, it would not be done. I did half the work myself. After that, I went to Japan Club, and found out about some really cute Pikachu-looking animals that are common to Japan. I was enthralled. Then I went with bf and freinds to the W. D. where we all got food, met back up, and ate together. Then I played M. at air hockey, and lost by five points. Then bf stopped studying and we played together, and I lost two games out of three, but it was very very very close in the end. Then we walked home in the freezing cold, and played together. Then I took a shower and had him lotion me up, because my skin has become so dry in this weather. After that he left, and he's just called me to let me know he made it home. I'm going to bed, then I'm going to watch some anime when I get up, and then I'm going to return my anime and movie combo. I have one class tomorrow at four thirty, and no work until Saturday, so I'm happy. I also got an email from rozfire, saying she's made her own blog, so I'm super happy. (YES! Now I'm calling YOU out~!) I hope everyone will welcome her full-heartedly. Heeheehee. G'nighties
Quote of the Day: "He's not allowed to stick anything down my back anymore." "That's what she said."
Quote of the Day: "He's not allowed to stick anything down my back anymore." "That's what she said."
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
"A Father doesn't love his son just every now and then..."
I'm listening to that song right now, that's all.
Today was....interesting. I read bf's blog, and it got me in trouble. ^_^ I was in a meeting, and I remembered it and could hardly help grinning, and my 'boss' noticed. She asked what I was smiling about, so....
"Oh! It's nothing to do with the meeting! Sorry, my mind was wandering."
"Yes, I could tell, you do that quite often, don't you?" (lol. It'd hurt if it was anyone else saying it)
"Yup, I just can't seem to get it to come home nowadays."
So, today I...got up early, called work, and found that they only wanted me during the weekend now. I may indeed have to find another job. Then I went back to 'sleep', which means I slept, but it was mostly a doze, and then I went to class. Japanese, yay! In Japanese, my friend was sick, and he informed me I am sick as well. (It's true, I just didn't want to admit it, or care.) We grouped up as the only set of three with a girl whose name I didn't originally know. She called me -san, and it made me sad. I wanted to tell her to call me chan, but it seems rude when I don't know her that well....like insisting she touch me or something. Then we followed the teacher to her office because my freind was in Shining Knight mode and the teacher's bag was heavy. Then we went to the Atrium, where they all humored me and ate with me. (Another group of three, but the girl was different) Then I went to my next class, where I was scolded rather heavily for missing class yesterday. eheheh.... We all scolded the teacher for making it impossible to do our assignment AGAIN. During role call, I spilled water all over the girl in front of me and my huge desk. We both sorta stared for a bit, and then were like "Bwahahaha" and I went and got some towels. I'm such a disruption for that class, and I can't seem to help it. A nice change though was that the teacher actually called on me today. Normally I volunteer my thoughts so much that he never calls on me. But I had my head down, and I was waiting for the people talking to work through their thoughts to the meaning they were trying to convey, and I was bored. I was not sleeping however, and I was awesome when I answered! I felt happiness. Then I called bf, who was in a lab (I'd no idea he had lab at that time) and he sounded exasperated with me. *cries* We decided to eat seperately, because of our meetings and tests not working well together. So then I went to my 6'o'clock meeting. I ended up being a secretary of sorts for it. We assigned things, and I didn't get an assignment because all the ones I wanted ended up being taken by someone that wasn't even there....*cries* After that meeting (which took forever) I went and got food with my freind Ash, and we talked for a bit. Ash then informed me that we had another meeting at 8 15, and I was like O.O "oh." So at that meeting, our head was late, and then when he showed, he told us he was resigning. So Ash stepped up and took his place, but now she has to find someone to replace her place. If that makes sense. During that meeting, bf called, and I >.< Hung up on him....I felt awful about it, and he called again. I called him back as soon as I could without making my group frustrated, and then worked on various things while waiting for him to pick me up. It was snowing. I played in the falling snow for a minute or two, and then went back in, got ready, and we walked back to my place in the snow. Once there, we took out my trash and recycling, washed a blankie, hung it up, and then watched "What happens in Vegas" which turned out TONS better than I thought it would. Though bf got bored with it and started messing with me....lol. It was still fun. Then his mom called a little after the movie ended, and he went home. He looked really tired, and he didn't even let me know he'd made it.....I got worried, so I IMed him after an hour. He replied and told me g'night, but I'm worried if he's okay. He seems....distracted, or ...pressured? I'm not sure, but I wish he would vent to me like I do to him. I also haven't heard from pineapples or shodor's baby daddy at all lately, and I'm wondering what Pineapple's first day was like. That's all. G'night ya'll~!
Today was....interesting. I read bf's blog, and it got me in trouble. ^_^ I was in a meeting, and I remembered it and could hardly help grinning, and my 'boss' noticed. She asked what I was smiling about, so....
"Oh! It's nothing to do with the meeting! Sorry, my mind was wandering."
"Yes, I could tell, you do that quite often, don't you?" (lol. It'd hurt if it was anyone else saying it)
"Yup, I just can't seem to get it to come home nowadays."
So, today I...got up early, called work, and found that they only wanted me during the weekend now. I may indeed have to find another job. Then I went back to 'sleep', which means I slept, but it was mostly a doze, and then I went to class. Japanese, yay! In Japanese, my friend was sick, and he informed me I am sick as well. (It's true, I just didn't want to admit it, or care.) We grouped up as the only set of three with a girl whose name I didn't originally know. She called me -san, and it made me sad. I wanted to tell her to call me chan, but it seems rude when I don't know her that well....like insisting she touch me or something. Then we followed the teacher to her office because my freind was in Shining Knight mode and the teacher's bag was heavy. Then we went to the Atrium, where they all humored me and ate with me. (Another group of three, but the girl was different) Then I went to my next class, where I was scolded rather heavily for missing class yesterday. eheheh.... We all scolded the teacher for making it impossible to do our assignment AGAIN. During role call, I spilled water all over the girl in front of me and my huge desk. We both sorta stared for a bit, and then were like "Bwahahaha" and I went and got some towels. I'm such a disruption for that class, and I can't seem to help it. A nice change though was that the teacher actually called on me today. Normally I volunteer my thoughts so much that he never calls on me. But I had my head down, and I was waiting for the people talking to work through their thoughts to the meaning they were trying to convey, and I was bored. I was not sleeping however, and I was awesome when I answered! I felt happiness. Then I called bf, who was in a lab (I'd no idea he had lab at that time) and he sounded exasperated with me. *cries* We decided to eat seperately, because of our meetings and tests not working well together. So then I went to my 6'o'clock meeting. I ended up being a secretary of sorts for it. We assigned things, and I didn't get an assignment because all the ones I wanted ended up being taken by someone that wasn't even there....*cries* After that meeting (which took forever) I went and got food with my freind Ash, and we talked for a bit. Ash then informed me that we had another meeting at 8 15, and I was like O.O "oh." So at that meeting, our head was late, and then when he showed, he told us he was resigning. So Ash stepped up and took his place, but now she has to find someone to replace her place. If that makes sense. During that meeting, bf called, and I >.< Hung up on him....I felt awful about it, and he called again. I called him back as soon as I could without making my group frustrated, and then worked on various things while waiting for him to pick me up. It was snowing. I played in the falling snow for a minute or two, and then went back in, got ready, and we walked back to my place in the snow. Once there, we took out my trash and recycling, washed a blankie, hung it up, and then watched "What happens in Vegas" which turned out TONS better than I thought it would. Though bf got bored with it and started messing with me....lol. It was still fun. Then his mom called a little after the movie ended, and he went home. He looked really tired, and he didn't even let me know he'd made it.....I got worried, so I IMed him after an hour. He replied and told me g'night, but I'm worried if he's okay. He seems....distracted, or ...pressured? I'm not sure, but I wish he would vent to me like I do to him. I also haven't heard from pineapples or shodor's baby daddy at all lately, and I'm wondering what Pineapple's first day was like. That's all. G'night ya'll~!
Monday, February 2, 2009
I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life....But maybe not....
This is what I was repeating as a mantra as I hop skipped up the steps on my way back to my room in my silky, way-too-long nightclothes. I only had a jacket, and thank goodness, because I was in no way decent, and I'd just spent the better part of 20 minutes sitting on some steps with boys and girls that I do not know. It was horrifying. One guy didn't even have a shirt on in this weather! It's warm, but it's not THAT warm. My hair is still matted and tangled from sleep. I absolutely HATE fire alarms.
On another note, I've been so tired lately that I skipped all my morning classes, and even my beautiful badminton. I wish I could make use of it to sleep more, but that damn alarm was so loud.....
I got an email from a chancellor, asking me to take a survey so that "more students like yourself" will enroll.
*Phew* so, cute moment, though you don't need to understand who these peeps are:
"Dear Mamoru,
Which was abruptly followed by,
Can’t escape you even in America, can I, Odango?
Just writing to say that if there were a Nobel Prize for Jerkness, you would be a shoe-in.
Sweet of you to say that. Of course, as you bring out the best in me, I would be forced to share the honor with the World’s Biggest Ditz.
Funny thing. I was at the zoo the other day and I could have sworn I saw you there! But then I looked again, and saw it was just a komodo dragon. Do you think you guys could be distant relatives?
Perhaps—I’ll have to look into my genealogical records. That reminds me. My American “family” took me to a circus yesterday and they had a real 400-pound bearded lady on the show. She could have been your sister! It made me miss you something fierce.
So my English teacher is having us choose a work of classic literature to read for the semester and I was leaning toward Dracula, but I wanted to get your opinion on it. I figured the whole blood-sucking monster thing would be right up your aisle.
Dracula’s a good choice—though I’ve always felt that I related more to the count’s irresistible charmer side, wouldn’t you agree? Nevertheless, you probably shouldn’t bother reading it. The old English will go way over your head. If you want, we can rent the movie when I get back so I can help translate all the big words for you.
Sincerely,
Usagi
Yours,
Mamoru
P.S. Come home soon.
The devil himself couldn’t keep me away."
Isn't it cute? Today was crappy until near the end. Then it was special. Very, very special. For a special reason. But dear, for the life of me, I can't remember how we came to the conclusion we did. Care to reply and tell me what I said and you said to lead to it? I think I was too flummoxed.
On another note, I've been so tired lately that I skipped all my morning classes, and even my beautiful badminton. I wish I could make use of it to sleep more, but that damn alarm was so loud.....
I got an email from a chancellor, asking me to take a survey so that "more students like yourself" will enroll.
*Phew* so, cute moment, though you don't need to understand who these peeps are:
"Dear Mamoru,
Which was abruptly followed by,
Can’t escape you even in America, can I, Odango?
Just writing to say that if there were a Nobel Prize for Jerkness, you would be a shoe-in.
Sweet of you to say that. Of course, as you bring out the best in me, I would be forced to share the honor with the World’s Biggest Ditz.
Funny thing. I was at the zoo the other day and I could have sworn I saw you there! But then I looked again, and saw it was just a komodo dragon. Do you think you guys could be distant relatives?
Perhaps—I’ll have to look into my genealogical records. That reminds me. My American “family” took me to a circus yesterday and they had a real 400-pound bearded lady on the show. She could have been your sister! It made me miss you something fierce.
So my English teacher is having us choose a work of classic literature to read for the semester and I was leaning toward Dracula, but I wanted to get your opinion on it. I figured the whole blood-sucking monster thing would be right up your aisle.
Dracula’s a good choice—though I’ve always felt that I related more to the count’s irresistible charmer side, wouldn’t you agree? Nevertheless, you probably shouldn’t bother reading it. The old English will go way over your head. If you want, we can rent the movie when I get back so I can help translate all the big words for you.
Sincerely,
Usagi
Yours,
Mamoru
P.S. Come home soon.
The devil himself couldn’t keep me away."
Isn't it cute? Today was crappy until near the end. Then it was special. Very, very special. For a special reason. But dear, for the life of me, I can't remember how we came to the conclusion we did. Care to reply and tell me what I said and you said to lead to it? I think I was too flummoxed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)