Heyla folks!
First off: April commented on my previous post! HUZZAH! She isn't dead! *cheers*
Second: Pineapples got her interview off to a great start! YAAAAAY! Awesome job on the code, since they couldn't crack it. I think that means you have an incredibly strong chance of being hired. ^.^ I hope you like the town.
Third: Maya is being unfairly cute. She was so cute, she managed to get hubby to let her lay on his lap and pet her for a long time. That's my spot....
Fourth: I think I'm fighting off a cold. I slept for nearly 14 hours last night. And had a nightmare. :/ Not fun times.
So I guess I should start my post. Hmmm. I haven't been up to very much. I'm trying to watch how much I eat, which generally ends up with me either snacking too much, or so hungry that I end up overeating anyway. Tch.
I think I should groom Maya soon, but I don't wanna sit on the floor. And I don't want her hair all over the bed or couch, so the floor is really the only option.
It's finally getting cool enough for us to open our windows at night, but I'm worried about bugs getting in, so we haven't opened them yet. Since it's getting cool though, I think I should start jogging. Last time I only lasted for three minutes. It was almost embarrassing. I want to aim for longer, but I don't think I can. *sigh* I'll never get better if I don't continue though. So after this, I will go jogging again. Hopefully this time I won't have an audience. That made it marginally more embarrassing last time.
I've restarted PT, but I think my Therapist decided to punish me for not making it in those two-three weeks. She crammed a lot of stuff, and increased the difficulty of pretty much all of it. Sprints on bicycles is killer. And I used to do it for fun.
Speaking of my knee, I think I'm getting some feeling back in the no-feels-zone. Unfortunately, it's mostly pained pokes and itching. It'll probably get better soon.
I'm gonna try some acne control recipes, and I hope Hubby will cooperate and let me do them on him too. It doesn't look likely though. He says neither of us needs it, and while I mostly agree, it's supposed to get blackheads out and decrease the size of your pores so you get fewer and fewer. That would definitely be nice, especially on my forehead (read: No digging zone). It's so difficult to get anything off my forehead I have mostly given up. I think I'll go take that jog now.
Here's a song to boost you up. It was a little more difficult than I expected to find a video to suit the lyrics.:
Monday, September 23, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
I put my best foot forward, but it didn't fit the shoe.
I actually got terminated today. *blinks* They said that I
wasn't a good fit. I was, understandably, shocked. I was on my fifth day of
training, when they normally train you for at least two weeks straight, and
they didn't really seem to give me the chance to fix the 'mistakes' I was told
I was making. On the other hand, I had been worried about getting to school in
time with this job, and they only get the actual Christmas/Thanksgiving Day
off. They work all the other days. So if I don't get another job, and just
concentrate on my schooling, I'll be able to go home for the holidays with
hubby.
I was shocked enough that I was numb the whole way home, and
when I got home, I curled up around Rebby and wrote out a list of pros and cons
to getting fired. Because while my pride and ego were hurt, I was seeing some
good possibilities.
I'll be honest and say that I also wrote my comments on the
sheet, because I thought I wouldn't be able to get them out if I tried to talk.
I was so disappointed with myself. I always thought I just sucked at
applications, but that if someone gave me a chance, I could easily wow them.
Apparently not.
In a minute, I'll list the pros and cons we came up with.
For now, I want to tell you a little more.
I was thinking yesterday about how I don't fit right in. And
it reminded me quite vividly of school, where I never fit a neat little niche.
I always had to carve out my own little space, and so I wasn't particularly
worried that I didn't fit in immediately. I figured, I have time to make my
friends and establish myself, so I don't have to worry about not fitting some
cookie-cutter model. But I *did* be myself. I made witty comments, and joked
around and worked hard to remember everything. I got pulled aside yesterday and
told that I don't have the experience to wonder about the methods, and that I
seemed to be unreceptive toward my training. She asked me to be more
open-minded, and I tried. I hadn't realized I was being closed-minded. I just
asked a lot of questions, trying to understand everything and take it all in.
I was worried about how slowly I worked, but I was so
worried about the slowness because I knew I was trying to put out quality work.
I didn't want to make any mistakes. Of course though, checking hundreds of
sheets a day, I made mistakes. My trainer didn't seem unduly surprised or upset
at the mistakes, and said they were to be expected. I only really made one big
mistake, not catching a reciept/payment discrepancy and authorizing the
transaction. It was a difference of 80 dollars, and the company may be out that
money. I won't know, because they're going to take care of it on Monday.
I was told that my work was too inconsistent. That really
bothered me, because I didn't think I was inconsistent at all. Of course, then
I thought of how sluggish I got after lunch most days, compared to before
lunch, and figured maybe my work suffered. I'll never know. I'm so very
confused. I didn't think there was a two week limit to make friends. Maybe
that's the point. But I will admit I didn't know what to do with myself during
lunches when I would inevitably end up having a good thirty minutes by myself
with nothing to do. I would have happily gone back to work if they had work I
could do without someone having to check my work every couple of minutes.
So, we just went swimming, and I slept for 14 hours or so.
Most of the dreams I had revolved around reviewing my work and trying to find
what was wrong, but I also had an interesting kind of adventure-type dream that
my sister starred it. It was kinda cool, and finally saved me from sleep.
So, now to list my pros and cons of being terminated.
Cons-
1. No longer the breadwinner, i.e. no more lotsa
money-making
2. Embarrassed. I (as always) went in thinking it was
long-term. I made my plans accordingly, and bought clothing to match. At least
I got some cute outfits out of this?
3. No seeing friend R. :( It was nice being able to see her.
I'm also (marginally) worried she'll be embarrassed that I didn't 'make the
cut'.
4. Don't get to make matching bentos for hubby and me
anymore.
5. Don't wanna tell my family I got fired. I JUST told them
I got the job.
6. I'm disappointed in me. I never imagined I couldn't be
everything someone needed. Egotistical? Yes. True? Yes.
Pros-
1. 6:45 a.m. = Sleep. No more bed at 10 p.m. for me!
2. Not miserable, surrounded by walls and other people that
are vicious and happy to be miserable.
3. No more traffic jams! By Thursday, I was becoming that
horrid person that is just mad to be delayed by traffic, when I've always been
the one to turn up the music and dance in my car while I wait.
4. Can attend school without problems. I was very worried
that I wouldn't be able to get to school on time every day (due to traffic),
which would have meant I would be kicked out of school. Now I have no/few
worries!
5. Won't get fat fast. I could almost feel myself gaining
weight, sitting in that uncomfortable chair day after day, eating my face off
during every break, having nothing to do for an hour every day during lunch.
Now I can swim and exercise!
6. No more vicious women who seem to delight in telling
stories about how stupid their husbands are. I couldn't add anything to those
convos, because I'm VERY aware of how awesome my husband is. They also
constantly bitch about the other branches, and how they have to clean up after
them.
7. Reb has transport to work! So now he doesn't have to take
the nasty smelly buses.
8. No breakfast tacos! They told me I had to have them,
because it was an 'Austin Tradition' or something. They were mostly filled with
scrambled eggs (I don't like eggs) and greasy meats. Even the potato one had
eggs and grease. Now I don't have to try them and say how awesome they are when
they aren't!
9. No more heartburn! Every day for the first week, I found
myself with some awful heartburn and couldn't really figure out why. I wasn't
eating anything strange, after all. Then when they terminated me, suddenly I
felt the heartburn rising and realized it was stress increasing the acid in my
stomach and giving me trouble. So I calmed down a bit, and it went away! No
more heartburn, BANZAI!
10. PT is now something I can continue, at least until we
reach the max visits allowed by insurance. Before, they were closed by the time
I got off work, and not open before I left for work, so it wasn't possible.
11. I can read books again!!!
12. Can talk to Caitlec now! I had to go to bed so very
early before, and so we couldn't really talk much, but now we can!
13. Can maybe go home for Christmas? We have a workable
time-table for Christmas, if my school takes enough time off for the holidays.
I really hope they do.
So in conclusion, the pros far out weight the cons, but I
still feel like shit for failing. And failing is really the only thing holding
me to this experience, because it's kinda great that I don't have to work there
anymore. Reb says that maybe they could tell I was miserable, despite my
attempts to make the best of things. I keep wondering what I did that was so
bad they terminated me after two weeks. See, that morning they were talking
about what I would do the next week, and telling me about the training I could
expect. By lunch, it seemed that everyone was busy so I ate, then ran to the
store for breath mints and snacks (because I have little self-restraint). By
the time I got back from the store, it felt like I had been closed out, and I
was puzzled, but not worried. Then when I clocked out, A said she wanted to see
me in the conference room and the whole time I was going there, I wondered what
I had done wrong. Then she immediately sat me down and said that I wasn't going
to work out, I wasn't a good fit, here's the termination papers, please sign
them. I read it over and asked if she could explain why I wasn't a good fit,
and she looked startled and unhappy, like she just wanted the unpleasant chore
over with. She said something about just not being what they were looking for,
that my work was inconsistent, and she had a conference where they decided to
terminate me. I still wonder who was in on that conference, since two of the
people that supported my presence were out.
But it was also true that I didn't feel like I fit, and like
there were several factions in the company. Like school, I refused to pick a
side, and mayhap that was the ultimate decision. I didn't quietly fit into the
mold they wanted me to choose, and that is what got me fired. Really, thinking
about it now, I think it's fine. I really didn't like the vicious
conversations, the rough talk they had, and the feeling that the company didn't
trust their employees (because of this tally sheet that you had to account all
of your time on in order to get paid). I certainly tried my best, and while I
think maybe my strong personality was part of the problem, I don't think I
should regret being myself.
So, I have been officially fired from a job! It's a new
experience for me. ^.^; I know that my old job is looking for employees, but I
don't really want to work in security anymore. I like new experiences, and
while maybe this office setting didn't suit me, that doesn't mean that others
wouldn't. So a part-time job is really what I want, and I don't think I'll
really have to worry about that for a while.
Phew, I was right. Getting all of this out made me feel tons
better. Thanks guys!
This song has been stuck in my head since I was fired: Wrecking
Ball.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
I am now an accountant! i.e. Office Lady, i.e. OL
:) Today was my second day at work. This essentially means: I go to bed at 10 p.m., wake up 6:45-7, get ready, leave at 7:15, get to work at 8, work til 9:45 and take a ten minute break, work til 11 and take an hour lunch break, work til 2:30, and take another ten minute break, and then get off at 5. Aaaaaaand repeat.
The good thing, is that I am getting up at 'decent' hours, sleeping at 'decent' hours, and meeting new people. The bad thing is, I'm gettin' up at a godawful hour, sleeping at little-kid level bedtime, and being intimidated by people either a. ignoring me politely, or b. talking to me so much I don't know what to say.
Example of b: I was talking to a beautiful woman who knew my name, my proficiency in Japanese, my background, and it seemed like, everything about me. Then I find she's R's sister, so it kind of makes sense. I go to take a nice long bathroom break, and SHE STARTS TALKING TO ME! While I'm IN the stall. She literally walks in (I didn't know she followed me), drops HER pants down a stall or two from me, and says "So Runa, what do you think of ______". The only thing that saved me? Someone with a very similar name to mine, lets say Ruma, was sitting in the stall between us. So she was also startled, but busted out "You mean me??" Which then devolved the conversation into "Oh, I didn't know there was someone else in the bathroom!" and some further conversation between them.
It shocked me in a ....semi-good way. I don't really like being followed around, but I DO like being able to talk to someone without feeling like I'm forcing my company on them. I kinda like being an OL because of how they're depicted in Japanese culture as well. ^.^ For reference, you could try Kimi wa Petto.
Another thing is, I think I'm allergic to something at the site. My eyes water, my head starts hurting, my throat gets clogged, it's difficult to breathe, and I KEEP heartburn. I wish all of that would go away. It would make for a much better experience overall.
Something else that sucks? I got a cold sore the day before I started. ;__; Painful, ugly, irritating, contagious thing guaranteed to make for awkward conversation. Apparently there's the occasional lunch thief when dealing with the office fridges. I'm excited! I wonder if anyone would take mine, since it's so obviously different from everyone else's.
It's a little strange to me that hubby comes home after me, most days. It means that when I start school, I won't be seeing him much at all. :( I suppose we'll work something out. We always do. It also seems to mean that I work all day and come home to cook dinner and clean the kitchen too. :/ I wouldn't mind if I were, you know, healthy and non-headache-filled. But headache + heartburn + 100 degree weather + hot stove = Very bitchy Runa. I'm hoping I can adjust to the headache and heartburn and they'll ease away.
I always have interesting dreams, but last night was super interesting. I dreamt I took a shower at my mom's place, which was once again also my place, and mom was attending school while I worked. I gave her tips on classes, and got out of the bathroom to find my little brother (they've almost got him 100% adopted) and Papa holding each other close while watching Nightmare Before Christmas 2. There is no such movie, btw, but I didn't know that. In this movie, Jack was being cradled in two real people's arms while he explained the horrors of being away from home. Meanwhile, the family's teenage daughter, abhorred by most as ugly, decides she'll be beautiful for him! So she starts putting on make-up to look like a skeleton. It was so very strange....
I think I'm done. Hubby should be home soon, and we're going out to eat, because I can't stand the idea of cooking tonight. :/
I tend to keep this song stuck in my head. You should listen. Then sing it. It's very..... therapeutic. :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMINJbxOdjI
This was pretty interesting. It's poetry, but not. He talks fast, so watch out for that. And it takes a turn for the very interesting about two minutes in. I liked it.
http://www.upworthy.com/when-this-guy-explains-why-women-wont-date-him-you-may-roll-your-eyes-but-2-minutes?g=2
The good thing, is that I am getting up at 'decent' hours, sleeping at 'decent' hours, and meeting new people. The bad thing is, I'm gettin' up at a godawful hour, sleeping at little-kid level bedtime, and being intimidated by people either a. ignoring me politely, or b. talking to me so much I don't know what to say.
Example of b: I was talking to a beautiful woman who knew my name, my proficiency in Japanese, my background, and it seemed like, everything about me. Then I find she's R's sister, so it kind of makes sense. I go to take a nice long bathroom break, and SHE STARTS TALKING TO ME! While I'm IN the stall. She literally walks in (I didn't know she followed me), drops HER pants down a stall or two from me, and says "So Runa, what do you think of ______". The only thing that saved me? Someone with a very similar name to mine, lets say Ruma, was sitting in the stall between us. So she was also startled, but busted out "You mean me??" Which then devolved the conversation into "Oh, I didn't know there was someone else in the bathroom!" and some further conversation between them.
It shocked me in a ....semi-good way. I don't really like being followed around, but I DO like being able to talk to someone without feeling like I'm forcing my company on them. I kinda like being an OL because of how they're depicted in Japanese culture as well. ^.^ For reference, you could try Kimi wa Petto.
Another thing is, I think I'm allergic to something at the site. My eyes water, my head starts hurting, my throat gets clogged, it's difficult to breathe, and I KEEP heartburn. I wish all of that would go away. It would make for a much better experience overall.
Something else that sucks? I got a cold sore the day before I started. ;__; Painful, ugly, irritating, contagious thing guaranteed to make for awkward conversation. Apparently there's the occasional lunch thief when dealing with the office fridges. I'm excited! I wonder if anyone would take mine, since it's so obviously different from everyone else's.
It's a little strange to me that hubby comes home after me, most days. It means that when I start school, I won't be seeing him much at all. :( I suppose we'll work something out. We always do. It also seems to mean that I work all day and come home to cook dinner and clean the kitchen too. :/ I wouldn't mind if I were, you know, healthy and non-headache-filled. But headache + heartburn + 100 degree weather + hot stove = Very bitchy Runa. I'm hoping I can adjust to the headache and heartburn and they'll ease away.
I always have interesting dreams, but last night was super interesting. I dreamt I took a shower at my mom's place, which was once again also my place, and mom was attending school while I worked. I gave her tips on classes, and got out of the bathroom to find my little brother (they've almost got him 100% adopted) and Papa holding each other close while watching Nightmare Before Christmas 2. There is no such movie, btw, but I didn't know that. In this movie, Jack was being cradled in two real people's arms while he explained the horrors of being away from home. Meanwhile, the family's teenage daughter, abhorred by most as ugly, decides she'll be beautiful for him! So she starts putting on make-up to look like a skeleton. It was so very strange....
I think I'm done. Hubby should be home soon, and we're going out to eat, because I can't stand the idea of cooking tonight. :/
I tend to keep this song stuck in my head. You should listen. Then sing it. It's very..... therapeutic. :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMINJbxOdjI
This was pretty interesting. It's poetry, but not. He talks fast, so watch out for that. And it takes a turn for the very interesting about two minutes in. I liked it.
http://www.upworthy.com/when-this-guy-explains-why-women-wont-date-him-you-may-roll-your-eyes-but-2-minutes?g=2
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Job Power!
I got interviewed yesterday for a company looking to fill multiple positions. The positions were: accounting, customer service, and security. I strongly pushed my preference for the accounting position and worried that I had pushed too hard for a position that the supervisor didn't seem particularly interested in having me fill. I also got interviewed by all three supervisors for each position! I had a three-for-one whammy. And today, while I was at physical therapy, I got a phone call. I missed it (cause obviously I was busy), but when I checked my messages, it was the supervisor that didn't seem interested in me, asking me to call her back. So I did, and after identifying myself, she rather abruptly offered me the job. I was flustered, but I definitely learned my lesson last year not to hesitate (because they'll just turn to the runner-up), and said yes. I start next Tuesday at 8 am. So early! But I can do it. :<>
The major problem I'm going to have, is that my physical therapy clinic only seems to run during normal business hours. I'm working during normal business hours. Well, I'm screwed. I need to continue because otherwise I won't be getting the attention to my progress that I need, but I also need to be at the job, especially now while I'm not in school and rushing off to classes every day. I may have to switch to a clinic that offers hours I can attend.
So I'm worried about the travel, and about the time it takes to get from this job to my school, but for now I'm going to shelve the issue because it isn't relevant. They made note of it when I applied, so hopefully they can work with me on it.
We tried the Cheesy Garlic Bread brand by Lays recently. We also tried the Chicken'n'Waffles type. The garlic one is a lot better than the waffle one, but neither of them is as good as plain Cheddar'n'Sour Cream to me. The waffle one is actually more maple-y than chicken-y, and the garlic one is more cheesy than garlic, but they're both worth trying. I think I'll ask the office if they would like at least the waffle one. Otherwise I'm likely to force myself to eat them out of natural proclivity to not throw food away.
Speaking of food, I made a really good double baked potato yesterday. I first sliced them length-wise, and microwaved them til they were soft. Then I scooped out the flesh, left the peel, Reb put a bit of butter in the shells to melt down, and combined the potatoes with mayo (Kewpie brand), sliced cheese, a little mustard, and some salt and pepper. Then when they were softer, almost like mashed potatoes, I scooped them back into their shells, topped them with cheese, and stuck them in the oven for a few minutes to melt the cheese on top. It was surprisingly good.
Today I made a ricexsteakxspinachxherb mixture in the rice cooker, while Reb made a nice spinach salad with a bit of sea salt and lemon juice as dressing. I also made a fruit salad, but the fruits don't mesh as well as I'd hoped. It was 'Golden Fruit Melon' (like cantaloupe with watermelon), nectarines (that were rather less succulent than I'd hoped), and a Pink Lady apple (that I've never had before). I added a bit of sea salt to that as well, but maybe I should have gone the opposite route and used sugar, marshmallow fluff, or something like that. :/ I'm not sure how to fix the fruit salad.
I want to make a chicken'n'dumplings slow cooker recipe I found yesterday. It sounds really really yummy, even though I haven't had chicken and dumplings since my grandfather died. I'm just missing one ingredient, but there's another recipe I'd like to get some ingredients for as well, so we're gonna run to the store now. Ciao!
The major problem I'm going to have, is that my physical therapy clinic only seems to run during normal business hours. I'm working during normal business hours. Well, I'm screwed. I need to continue because otherwise I won't be getting the attention to my progress that I need, but I also need to be at the job, especially now while I'm not in school and rushing off to classes every day. I may have to switch to a clinic that offers hours I can attend.
So I'm worried about the travel, and about the time it takes to get from this job to my school, but for now I'm going to shelve the issue because it isn't relevant. They made note of it when I applied, so hopefully they can work with me on it.
We tried the Cheesy Garlic Bread brand by Lays recently. We also tried the Chicken'n'Waffles type. The garlic one is a lot better than the waffle one, but neither of them is as good as plain Cheddar'n'Sour Cream to me. The waffle one is actually more maple-y than chicken-y, and the garlic one is more cheesy than garlic, but they're both worth trying. I think I'll ask the office if they would like at least the waffle one. Otherwise I'm likely to force myself to eat them out of natural proclivity to not throw food away.
Speaking of food, I made a really good double baked potato yesterday. I first sliced them length-wise, and microwaved them til they were soft. Then I scooped out the flesh, left the peel, Reb put a bit of butter in the shells to melt down, and combined the potatoes with mayo (Kewpie brand), sliced cheese, a little mustard, and some salt and pepper. Then when they were softer, almost like mashed potatoes, I scooped them back into their shells, topped them with cheese, and stuck them in the oven for a few minutes to melt the cheese on top. It was surprisingly good.
Today I made a ricexsteakxspinachxherb mixture in the rice cooker, while Reb made a nice spinach salad with a bit of sea salt and lemon juice as dressing. I also made a fruit salad, but the fruits don't mesh as well as I'd hoped. It was 'Golden Fruit Melon' (like cantaloupe with watermelon), nectarines (that were rather less succulent than I'd hoped), and a Pink Lady apple (that I've never had before). I added a bit of sea salt to that as well, but maybe I should have gone the opposite route and used sugar, marshmallow fluff, or something like that. :/ I'm not sure how to fix the fruit salad.
I want to make a chicken'n'dumplings slow cooker recipe I found yesterday. It sounds really really yummy, even though I haven't had chicken and dumplings since my grandfather died. I'm just missing one ingredient, but there's another recipe I'd like to get some ingredients for as well, so we're gonna run to the store now. Ciao!
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Kitty power!
As in, she's been trying to crawl up my butt most of the day. She's very persistent. She crawls on my lap, lays on my shoulder, sniffs all over my body, and meows a LOT. I love her dearly, but this neediness worries me. I keep wondering if I should just let her roam free outside, if maybe that would fix it. But she's made it a year with only accidental forays into the outside. And I think she's getting decently healthy, though obese.
Speaking of obese, I was thinking about my own blooming waistline. I think it blooms when I'm unoccupied, as being out of work makes me. But then I didn't really lose weight while I was working either. So it becomes an interesting question of what it takes to make me lose weight. I'm coming upon my 3 month mark of recovery from surgery, and hoping the doctor will agree that I'm ready to start jogging. The PT has been steadily upping my weights and activities, and I'm close, if not quite ready. I think (hope, pray) that being able to start a decent physical activity will give me a little impetus to cut down a little on the junk food, add more health food, and generally eat less. I know I'm eating too much, and I know I'm not getting enough exercise. So I try, and I laze, try, and laze, and the cycle is frankly both mortifying and infuriating. Mayhap I can pin my hopes on getting healed enough to start some intense physical activities. But when I think of my current record, it doesn't make me feel very confident. :( Just gotta keep trying, I suppose.
Speaking of trying, Hubby and I have been together for over six years. I had a friend from my first high school stay the night on Friday, and she kept commenting on what a cute, adorable, quiet couple we are. That she's not used to two people communicating so quietly, and it was her first time seeing it surprised me. I've never really thought of us as quiet (especially in the bedroom, or when we're playing around), so to hear that we're so quiet as to be silent in her opinion shocked me, and it hasn't left my mind yet. What do you think a healthy couple constitutes? I've talked with hubby, and my opinion was that within the course of a year, we would move out of the honeymoon stage and settle down to a day-to-day existence in which we became accustomed to each other and slowly just lost the fun. That's what I always imagined marriage to be, at least. It's not an ideal marriage, but it was the reality I expected. To find that we still laugh, joke, play, and learn about each other surprises and gratifies me. To find that we haven't had a hurtful and mean argument is little less than miraculous (especially if you consider the effects the birth control has on my temper)! But I'm so happy and that scares me a little. I worry that this kind of happiness comes right before great unhappiness, and the most devastating thing that could happen to me now, I find, is losing my love. I worry about it constantly, especially when we travel. We've had so many close calls with other cars doing stupid shit and endangering him!! I want to cut those drivers up with a frickin' knife for daring to even come close to harming him! But I can't, so I just drive away.
I bought peanut butter crackers at Costco to hand out to panhandlers, and handed out a few that same day. It was interesting, because one person was genuinely gratified to receive them. Another person was an older man that was stick thin, but pissed to receive food instead of money. He thanked me to my face, then walked off muttering about 'Giving me fu**ing crackers. Damn cracker....' It hurt my feelings a little to hear that, but it didn't discourage me too much. Rather, I felt a little amused, because his sign said 'Anything helps' and yet he obviously didn't want just anything. The idea 'Beggars can't be choosers' apparently didn't come to mind for him. Of course, maybe he was allergic to peanut butter. I worried about that a bit, but ultimately decided that if they were allergic, they would probably be able to trade with someone for something else, just as they trade food for drugs. I get this knowledge from the book I read about dopefiends.
I'm finding that it annoys me more and more to hear 'God bless you' from these panhandlers. I'm blessed indeed, if their blessings have worth with their God. Rather, I think they've trained themselves to say that because the majority of people that give them things either are covert christians (who obviously want blessings in return for their offerings), or are christians that preach at them that they should be thankful for everything they receive and praise God because it's obviously all his doing when something good comes their way. I'm neither. I simply know what it is to go hungry because you don't have enough money to buy food and give food away accordingly. *shrug* I just wish they would stop blessing me, and start eating more.
One friend that came to visit commented that I'm a 'good little housewife' and I was offended. I didn't really question WHY until today, but here's what I've thought of: I think I was offended because the way it was said felt like they had taken everything they saw of me, and summed it up in the most inadequate expression: little housewife. I'm more than just a wife, and I do more than sit around the house cooking and cleaning. I'm still a young woman, still interested in Japan, learning, and growing as a person, and to be told that I fit the role of a good little housewife negates my existence as anything else. That's offensive to me. But then, also thinking along this line, she didn't say 'You're JUST a good little housewife'. She was, quite likely, merely commenting on the side of me that she was observing, and my response could have simply been "Thank you. I hope you know, however, I'm more than just a housewife." There was no reason to be unduly offended over that one comment. Instead, I feel I should take pride in the fact that I AM a good wife and caretaker. I don't, not really, but I should. I take pride in my food (especially when it turns out well), my decorating (because I like doing it), my hobbies (reading, swimming, etc.), and my abilities (too various to list). So why not view being a housewife (though I feel the terminology to be utterly inadequate to express my awesomeness) as another ability of mine and try to take some pride from it? Mayhap when they find better terms to define my awesomeness, I will accept the compliment with pride. Til then.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs
Speaking of obese, I was thinking about my own blooming waistline. I think it blooms when I'm unoccupied, as being out of work makes me. But then I didn't really lose weight while I was working either. So it becomes an interesting question of what it takes to make me lose weight. I'm coming upon my 3 month mark of recovery from surgery, and hoping the doctor will agree that I'm ready to start jogging. The PT has been steadily upping my weights and activities, and I'm close, if not quite ready. I think (hope, pray) that being able to start a decent physical activity will give me a little impetus to cut down a little on the junk food, add more health food, and generally eat less. I know I'm eating too much, and I know I'm not getting enough exercise. So I try, and I laze, try, and laze, and the cycle is frankly both mortifying and infuriating. Mayhap I can pin my hopes on getting healed enough to start some intense physical activities. But when I think of my current record, it doesn't make me feel very confident. :( Just gotta keep trying, I suppose.
Speaking of trying, Hubby and I have been together for over six years. I had a friend from my first high school stay the night on Friday, and she kept commenting on what a cute, adorable, quiet couple we are. That she's not used to two people communicating so quietly, and it was her first time seeing it surprised me. I've never really thought of us as quiet (especially in the bedroom, or when we're playing around), so to hear that we're so quiet as to be silent in her opinion shocked me, and it hasn't left my mind yet. What do you think a healthy couple constitutes? I've talked with hubby, and my opinion was that within the course of a year, we would move out of the honeymoon stage and settle down to a day-to-day existence in which we became accustomed to each other and slowly just lost the fun. That's what I always imagined marriage to be, at least. It's not an ideal marriage, but it was the reality I expected. To find that we still laugh, joke, play, and learn about each other surprises and gratifies me. To find that we haven't had a hurtful and mean argument is little less than miraculous (especially if you consider the effects the birth control has on my temper)! But I'm so happy and that scares me a little. I worry that this kind of happiness comes right before great unhappiness, and the most devastating thing that could happen to me now, I find, is losing my love. I worry about it constantly, especially when we travel. We've had so many close calls with other cars doing stupid shit and endangering him!! I want to cut those drivers up with a frickin' knife for daring to even come close to harming him! But I can't, so I just drive away.
I bought peanut butter crackers at Costco to hand out to panhandlers, and handed out a few that same day. It was interesting, because one person was genuinely gratified to receive them. Another person was an older man that was stick thin, but pissed to receive food instead of money. He thanked me to my face, then walked off muttering about 'Giving me fu**ing crackers. Damn cracker....' It hurt my feelings a little to hear that, but it didn't discourage me too much. Rather, I felt a little amused, because his sign said 'Anything helps' and yet he obviously didn't want just anything. The idea 'Beggars can't be choosers' apparently didn't come to mind for him. Of course, maybe he was allergic to peanut butter. I worried about that a bit, but ultimately decided that if they were allergic, they would probably be able to trade with someone for something else, just as they trade food for drugs. I get this knowledge from the book I read about dopefiends.
I'm finding that it annoys me more and more to hear 'God bless you' from these panhandlers. I'm blessed indeed, if their blessings have worth with their God. Rather, I think they've trained themselves to say that because the majority of people that give them things either are covert christians (who obviously want blessings in return for their offerings), or are christians that preach at them that they should be thankful for everything they receive and praise God because it's obviously all his doing when something good comes their way. I'm neither. I simply know what it is to go hungry because you don't have enough money to buy food and give food away accordingly. *shrug* I just wish they would stop blessing me, and start eating more.
One friend that came to visit commented that I'm a 'good little housewife' and I was offended. I didn't really question WHY until today, but here's what I've thought of: I think I was offended because the way it was said felt like they had taken everything they saw of me, and summed it up in the most inadequate expression: little housewife. I'm more than just a wife, and I do more than sit around the house cooking and cleaning. I'm still a young woman, still interested in Japan, learning, and growing as a person, and to be told that I fit the role of a good little housewife negates my existence as anything else. That's offensive to me. But then, also thinking along this line, she didn't say 'You're JUST a good little housewife'. She was, quite likely, merely commenting on the side of me that she was observing, and my response could have simply been "Thank you. I hope you know, however, I'm more than just a housewife." There was no reason to be unduly offended over that one comment. Instead, I feel I should take pride in the fact that I AM a good wife and caretaker. I don't, not really, but I should. I take pride in my food (especially when it turns out well), my decorating (because I like doing it), my hobbies (reading, swimming, etc.), and my abilities (too various to list). So why not view being a housewife (though I feel the terminology to be utterly inadequate to express my awesomeness) as another ability of mine and try to take some pride from it? Mayhap when they find better terms to define my awesomeness, I will accept the compliment with pride. Til then.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Sometimes I think I'm uninteresting....
and then Hubby comes home. He looks at me with these eyes that say I'm the only thing he's found of interest all day, and I have all of his attention. It makes me feel super interesting, and my belief in myself is restored. Ah, marriage!
So there's an opening at Apple for a year long contract that I really, really want. I don't know if I'll get it, but I really want to see how I can rise to the challenge. I want to use my Japanese!! I want to improve!! Argh!!
I went to enroll in Massage School today. I'll be starting in October, and going essentially at night. After I came home I looked for job openings in the areas we're considering living in. There's a LOT of openings in my mom's home town, a good number in Maryland, but pretty much none in hubby's hometown. That's too bad, but in a way, it's also great!
I've been muzzy-headed all day. I'm having trouble sleeping enough and really just sleeping the night through. I think that might be why I can't seem to concentrate on much lately. I accidentally applied to a few jobs today because I wasn't really thinking and just applied. They may go surprisingly well. It's what tends to happen when I don't put effort in. I'm having trouble just making sense of my sentences, though.
So on the note, I give up. I'm heading toward the bed. So for you: Maybe tell me why you think I'm interesting in the comments, to keep me going when Hubby isn't around?
So there's an opening at Apple for a year long contract that I really, really want. I don't know if I'll get it, but I really want to see how I can rise to the challenge. I want to use my Japanese!! I want to improve!! Argh!!
I went to enroll in Massage School today. I'll be starting in October, and going essentially at night. After I came home I looked for job openings in the areas we're considering living in. There's a LOT of openings in my mom's home town, a good number in Maryland, but pretty much none in hubby's hometown. That's too bad, but in a way, it's also great!
I've been muzzy-headed all day. I'm having trouble sleeping enough and really just sleeping the night through. I think that might be why I can't seem to concentrate on much lately. I accidentally applied to a few jobs today because I wasn't really thinking and just applied. They may go surprisingly well. It's what tends to happen when I don't put effort in. I'm having trouble just making sense of my sentences, though.
So on the note, I give up. I'm heading toward the bed. So for you: Maybe tell me why you think I'm interesting in the comments, to keep me going when Hubby isn't around?
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Interesting imgur things.
I don't think this is nearly as accurate as I thought it would be. It's weird and strange in some parts, but the essential message, I believe is the same. Yes, Hubby is my best friend. Unless I have a surprise for him, and then he's my worst enemy because there's no one (except maybe my mom) that I want to tell the secret to more.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/ways-your-significant-other-is-actually-youre-best-friend
I like this blogger in general, but this post is pretty good. It's just pictures of bumper stickers. I remember when I got in my crash, mom said I was sitting underneath my bumper sticker that said something like "Danger. Blonde driving, doesn't know about brakes" (I had two, I think I just combined them in that....). She thought it was ironically funny.
http://www.danoah.com/30-of-the-funniest-bumper-stickers-youve-probably-never-seen
Another post of his that I tend to read and it gives me goosebumps and sometimes chills, is the stories from his readers about creepy things kids say. I've experienced some creepy kid talk, so it's not hard to imagine these things.
http://www.danoah.com/2013/08/24-more-of-the-creepiest-things-ever-said-by-kids-2.html
This had to go on my blog. Watch it! It's only a minute or so long, and it's surprisingly funny.
http://www.upworthy.com/watch-and-learn-how-to-roll-down-your-window-and-deliver-a-fantastic-response-to-an-ahole?g=2&c=upw1
I was looking at a 'list' of 50 reasons they miss college, and most of the pictures are of young women (dressed or undressed), and beer. Sometimes together. I don't know about you, but those never really factored much in my college experience. Sad that they seem so important to these others.
I can't think of anything else I feel a burning need to share except: Train is performing on Sunday! <3 br="" nbsp=""> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teEyJYFab6Y&list=TLe4_qPAVFmWY
http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/ways-your-significant-other-is-actually-youre-best-friend
I like this blogger in general, but this post is pretty good. It's just pictures of bumper stickers. I remember when I got in my crash, mom said I was sitting underneath my bumper sticker that said something like "Danger. Blonde driving, doesn't know about brakes" (I had two, I think I just combined them in that....). She thought it was ironically funny.
http://www.danoah.com/30-of-the-funniest-bumper-stickers-youve-probably-never-seen
Another post of his that I tend to read and it gives me goosebumps and sometimes chills, is the stories from his readers about creepy things kids say. I've experienced some creepy kid talk, so it's not hard to imagine these things.
http://www.danoah.com/2013/08/24-more-of-the-creepiest-things-ever-said-by-kids-2.html
This had to go on my blog. Watch it! It's only a minute or so long, and it's surprisingly funny.
http://www.upworthy.com/watch-and-learn-how-to-roll-down-your-window-and-deliver-a-fantastic-response-to-an-ahole?g=2&c=upw1
I was looking at a 'list' of 50 reasons they miss college, and most of the pictures are of young women (dressed or undressed), and beer. Sometimes together. I don't know about you, but those never really factored much in my college experience. Sad that they seem so important to these others.
I can't think of anything else I feel a burning need to share except: Train is performing on Sunday! <3 br="" nbsp=""> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teEyJYFab6Y&list=TLe4_qPAVFmWY
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