So I've had a job since 10/21/2015 but I was really leery of getting fired soon after getting it, like what happened with my last office job, so I've held off on saying anything about it. It's an 'Asset Preservation Assistant', and basically I'm helping keep homes that get foreclosed on to stay in good shape until they can get sold. We're given work by banks and people representing the banks, and then we take that work and find a crew that can do what needs doing in a time frame that the client will accept. Sometimes we go over the allowed time, and sometimes we get it done early. It really just depends on location and crew.
I feel like I'm basically a maintenance dispatcher, if that makes sense. And interestingly, I really like my job. I like talking with the crews, and making nice with our clients. I like finding work for crews that need it and editing their photos to be what our client asked for. I even moderately like my coworkers.
My problems are generally when management step in. There's been many a case where I got lectured for something I didn't do, or something that I originally did right, and then they changed what they wanted me doing and now it was 'wrong' until they look closer and decide, oh no, do it again the way you originally did it. That's rather frustrating. Also frustrating is that we're STILL cleaning up the mess of trying to give some work to an Indian Company, and they were shit at it. We nearly lost my client over it, and we DID have a knock-down fight via email where we refused to work with a client representative anymore because of all the miscommunication.
Often I feel like I'm not speaking the right language because they don't understand what I'm trying to say has happened, or is going on. I think I'm perfectly clear most of the time, but then there's issues of clarity, or me writing notes that are too long, of me not explaining enough, etc. Some of this is because I'm too eloquent, don't have the right vocabulary or I take too long getting to the point. Other times I'm told I'm too direct like 'Gimme what I want' instead of 'This is what we need, can you provide it please'.
These things are all true. I do like to write long paragraphs detailing the intricate situation. I also like to be short and sweet with my emails, when I can. It does come across as callous, and I am working on all of these things. Sometimes they catch me out doing something wrong. Most often, I was taught wrong, or wasn't taught at all and had to feel my way because my supervisor is the most popular lady in the office, it feels like.
I'm not afraid to admit when I do something wrong, like when I invoiced for less than we actually charge earlier today. My excuse in this case was: It wasn't written what we charge the client, I asked two supervisors, waited ten minutes, got no responses, so I went ahead with what I found as a viable price. I was wrong by $5. I regret not waiting longer, especially since my supervisor got back to me literally the second after I pressed Submit.
So I started training on one client, then they pulled me off of it and gave me another client. Then just when I started to get used to that client, they gave me this brand new one, and said 'Here, use the outsourcing to India to help you get the 100+ work orders you have for this client taken care of.' That was SUCH a bad idea. THEN, as soon as I had half a handle on this client, they gave me ANOTHER one on TOP of this one. And my supervisor isn't nearly as helpful as I could wish. Or as accessible. She has pulled me aside and told me to come to her with EVERY question I have, because I can't be asking other people that might give you the wrong answer. Yet often she's missing from the office, too busy to listen, or never gets back to me. It's a work in progress, we'll say.
The reason I was worried I would get fired quickly is two-fold. First, I have a bit of trauma from being fired after two weeks with no other comment besides 'you aren't a good fit'. Second, I wasn't their first choice at all. By that, I mean I was told I would hear back from them on Friday if I got the job, and I didn't hear back until the next Wednesday, asking if I would like the job, and have training the next morning. I missed 3 days of training, so I think it's pretty clear that someone didn't work out. The next week or maybe the week after that, one of the ladies that got the job 'on time' and had all the training offered,...... well, she couldn't kick it. She was stressed out, she couldn't remember how to make a daily task (I have no issues with it), and she made so many mistakes that it took weeks to clean up after her. One morning she came in, couldn't get the daily task uploaded, freaked out, went to the supervisor, and came back to pack her stuff. She said she felt relieved, and then she left. ......And then they dumped her client on me.
Yes, yes they did. I hardly knew the client, and they dumped it on me. I scrambled for two weeks to understand the client, and finally got things going smoothly last week, until the whole blow-up with miscommunication I mentioned earlier. It was not fun. So anyway, they promised me another new person for my team, and they did hire someone. But not for my team. My team is my supervisor....and me. That's it. The person they hired? That's for a position as Team Trainer. He's giving us 'homework' and shares my office. Apparently he worked for them for three years, and just now came back as the Trainer for them. It annoys me that I have to write a 'report' for him and take 'tests' for him. I wouldn't mind, but they just dumped another client on me, and they're depending on me to help with a third client as well, so I'm already swamped.
I like being useful though. And I like having someone in the office, though I feel kinda embarrassed and constricted because I like to play music while I work, but it's usually techno or rock or something and I don't think I project that image at all to my co-workers.
On a new note: It's been GREAT for my sleeping. I am *always* tired nowadays, and my insomnia is nearly gone. I get so tired I get dizzy though. And I'm sleeping about 8 hours a night. So it's impressive that it tires me out that much. At first it gave me headaches and made my butt hurt a lot, but I did get used to that stuff really quickly, like they said I would. I also had to take a 15 minute break, and only took about 5 minutes to eat, so I started walking up and down some stairs outside to work out the kinks in my legs during my lunch. But now I use my break to take Hubby to work and come back with the car because his new location is like 5-10 minutes from my job. I felt really bad dropping him off 6+ hours early for work, so I was relieved when this became the new norm.
Aaaaand it's nearing my bedtime and I still need a shower, so I'm going to sign off. Good night!
Monday, November 23, 2015
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Foster/Kinship care difficulties.
Hi All,
I was asked to provide my story for some mom's trying to push a law through the Senate to hold DPS accountable for not following their own laws today. In the end, I decided it would double quite well as a blog post. It's long, it's depressing, and it's all true. Enjoy?
I was asked to provide my story for some mom's trying to push a law through the Senate to hold DPS accountable for not following their own laws today. In the end, I decided it would double quite well as a blog post. It's long, it's depressing, and it's all true. Enjoy?
Heyla,
I was told you need stories of things that have happened with court cases involving foster care, kinship placement, etc. Well, these are mine:
My sister tried to get her kids back for THREE YEARS via the court system in North Carolina, despite the fact that at every meeting, they declared if she didn't do X they would terminate rights and places the children up for adoption. My understanding is that a court case is required to be resolved within a year. This tortuous case was more harmful for my oldest niece, who I now have custody of than it was for her mother, who their were actually prosecuting. I'll get to that in a minute. I am not protesting that they did not return my nieces and nephew to her. I am protesting the constant threats without delivery. My sister tried, but she is an unfit mother. I am frankly insulted however, that the deadbeat FATHER who did NOTHING that court ordered has the SAME visitation and rights as my sister who at least tried, and did everything she could. The sickening thing is that two of the children are with his parents, so he actually gets regular visitation whereas they won't even allow a phone call from my sister to her children.
Now for the foster system: I recognize that my niece is a hellion, first and foremost. She is not easy to handle, and we all know it. She has never however, deserved to be hit by a foster parent. Nor has she deserved to be pitted against a foster sister, and forced to fight each other for the foster parent's amusement. She also assures me that one foster parent tried to stab a hole through her hand because she accidentally hurt the foster mom. I would like to state that all of these were different foster parents. At least 3 of the 12 homes she lived in were unfit for children by my standards. You understand, some families just aren't suited for coexisting. This is possibly the case for a few placements. But in two years, she lived in 12 different homes, and this has left in incredibly horrible experience/trauma in her. She has insecurities I could never have imagined her developing when she was a child, and that was DESPITE her having been molested as a toddler by my sister's boyfriend! The last year of the court case, she lived with me, 9 months after our application to take her, which we applied to do a week after my sister admitted she didn't think she could get her back.
I would have gladly taken my niece from the start if I was able, but I was 22 when she was taken, and still in college. I didn't have a job, I wasn't stable, and my sister was confident she could get her back. After a year and half, she wasn't as confident, I was married, my husband and I were living in Texas, and my husband was reluctant. When she admitted she didn't think she could get her back, and court had refused to give my niece to her maternal grandma because of issues between biomother and grandma, there wasn't any other option. I didn't give my husband a lot of choice, but once he met her, we knew she needed help and she needed us. We went for it. We've had her for well over a year now and she's stabilizing. She's over-sexualized, she believes she's a slut, she had anger outbursts to rival the Hulk, she's careless and infuriating on a regular basis, but it was the relief of our life when court closed her case and gave custody to us. If it wouldn't have severely hurt my sister and niece we would have applied for adoption. We're still considering it, simply to escape my sister hanging a 'You have to let me do this, it's ordered!' over our heads.
It's worth it to have her, but the only assistance we ever had was medicaid. And we don't even have that right now because NC is taking forever to give us coverage for her since we've moved here. We don't even qualify for respite, food stamps, or any other assistance my sister regularly got from the state. In fact, we couldn't claim her on our taxes because we only had her for 5 months last year. That's a LOT of day care we can't get any help paying for.
I'm not sure what points you're trying to push through the Senate right now, but I hope that helps. Thanks for reading to the end.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Our Drama Princess
Hello,
It's been nearly a month since I've blogged, and so much has happened. Halloween, the first real family holiday we had with Mia was shared this year with her mother. I never expected the feelings that invoked within me. It's really hard to explain, but I'll try.
It felt like every sacrifice, every effort, and every bit of what made us her parents got erased, just like that. There were brief moments when it was recalled that 'oh, yeah, we're the ones in charge' but mostly.... It was the Cin and MJ show, and we were just unwitting victims. I say 'we' but I can't vouch for Hubby's feelings in this matter at all. I don't think he took it nearly as hard. His words were 'It's like two MJs, that's all.' When we met with neighbors we'd grown up with, Cin acted like she was still MJ's parent. Like she had any part in the raising of her in the last year. And it infuriated me. Who fought with MJ until she began to understand why what she did was wrong two weeks ago? Sure as hell wasn't Cin. Who bought that damned $40 mask because MJ loved it and wouldn't take it off? Sure as hell wasn't Cin. Who drove for hours to get there so she could have the first family Halloween in years? NOT CIN.
There was a silver lining. MJ recognized all on her own that we're still her parents. She even gave me a look that said 'Okay, I've had fun, but I'm ready for her to go now.' That was a relief. Up until Cin managed to secrete her make-up bag in our trunk and 'forget' it. So we had to go back today, but refused to get out of the car. Hell, I didn't even park. Just had MJ hand it to Cin and let that be the end.
But oh, once we got home..... There was a little while of peace before Hubby returned and asked about my flute. MJ was supposed to find it today if it was at home. My step-up flute, worth over a 1,000 dollars USED. MJ shrugged, acted like it was no big deal that it's most likely gone forever, and then to top it all off, had the gall to tell me it was my fault. ''If you didn't want it lost or destroyed, you never should have given it to me,'' I believe she said. For her to blame me for her carelessness when we'd been planning to let her go to her friend's house for a sleepover this coming weekend was like being slapped.
Since then she's been moping and crying, but still not cleaning her room like I told her to. She even 're-pierced' her ear. I looked at her blankly, told her it was likely to get infected and hurt a lot worse, and why wasn't she cleaning her room? She said she was bored. Now she's in the shower.
Frankly, I don't know how to get her to take me seriously right now. And to be utterly honest here? That comment about my prized flute has literally dimmed my love for her. I still love her, would no matter what, but her disregard for me just..... it's damaged me. I'm seriously giving thought to no longer punishing her, no longer advising her, and no longer helping her. It's what she thinks she wants, and while I know that's not a good way to raise a child, I'm finding it very hard to care about her beyond making sure she isn't dead right about now.
I get the feeling I'm going to be in trouble with everyone once you all read this, but I've always been committed to being as honest as I can. It's not even that I loved my flute more than I do her. It's her attitude about it. Her lack of empathy, of caring. She's been crying for hours, but it isn't for my flute. It's because she knows it's gone, and so are her chances of going to her friend's birthday sleep-over. Though really, I'm reconsidering. I want her gone for a while, and that would be convenient.
I'm sure all children are insensitive little beasts at times, but she's rather consistent in her lack of regard for me and anything I own. I don't know how much longer I can continue to love and care for her as earnestly as I have up til now. I just don't know.
It's been nearly a month since I've blogged, and so much has happened. Halloween, the first real family holiday we had with Mia was shared this year with her mother. I never expected the feelings that invoked within me. It's really hard to explain, but I'll try.
It felt like every sacrifice, every effort, and every bit of what made us her parents got erased, just like that. There were brief moments when it was recalled that 'oh, yeah, we're the ones in charge' but mostly.... It was the Cin and MJ show, and we were just unwitting victims. I say 'we' but I can't vouch for Hubby's feelings in this matter at all. I don't think he took it nearly as hard. His words were 'It's like two MJs, that's all.' When we met with neighbors we'd grown up with, Cin acted like she was still MJ's parent. Like she had any part in the raising of her in the last year. And it infuriated me. Who fought with MJ until she began to understand why what she did was wrong two weeks ago? Sure as hell wasn't Cin. Who bought that damned $40 mask because MJ loved it and wouldn't take it off? Sure as hell wasn't Cin. Who drove for hours to get there so she could have the first family Halloween in years? NOT CIN.
There was a silver lining. MJ recognized all on her own that we're still her parents. She even gave me a look that said 'Okay, I've had fun, but I'm ready for her to go now.' That was a relief. Up until Cin managed to secrete her make-up bag in our trunk and 'forget' it. So we had to go back today, but refused to get out of the car. Hell, I didn't even park. Just had MJ hand it to Cin and let that be the end.
But oh, once we got home..... There was a little while of peace before Hubby returned and asked about my flute. MJ was supposed to find it today if it was at home. My step-up flute, worth over a 1,000 dollars USED. MJ shrugged, acted like it was no big deal that it's most likely gone forever, and then to top it all off, had the gall to tell me it was my fault. ''If you didn't want it lost or destroyed, you never should have given it to me,'' I believe she said. For her to blame me for her carelessness when we'd been planning to let her go to her friend's house for a sleepover this coming weekend was like being slapped.
Since then she's been moping and crying, but still not cleaning her room like I told her to. She even 're-pierced' her ear. I looked at her blankly, told her it was likely to get infected and hurt a lot worse, and why wasn't she cleaning her room? She said she was bored. Now she's in the shower.
Frankly, I don't know how to get her to take me seriously right now. And to be utterly honest here? That comment about my prized flute has literally dimmed my love for her. I still love her, would no matter what, but her disregard for me just..... it's damaged me. I'm seriously giving thought to no longer punishing her, no longer advising her, and no longer helping her. It's what she thinks she wants, and while I know that's not a good way to raise a child, I'm finding it very hard to care about her beyond making sure she isn't dead right about now.
I get the feeling I'm going to be in trouble with everyone once you all read this, but I've always been committed to being as honest as I can. It's not even that I loved my flute more than I do her. It's her attitude about it. Her lack of empathy, of caring. She's been crying for hours, but it isn't for my flute. It's because she knows it's gone, and so are her chances of going to her friend's birthday sleep-over. Though really, I'm reconsidering. I want her gone for a while, and that would be convenient.
I'm sure all children are insensitive little beasts at times, but she's rather consistent in her lack of regard for me and anything I own. I don't know how much longer I can continue to love and care for her as earnestly as I have up til now. I just don't know.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Hurricane Joaquin and Shania Twain.
Her dresses are so gorgeous in this video that I'm in awe.
Apparently there's a lot of flood watches and warnings in NC all over. We're having tons of storms, and on top of that, there's a Level 4 hurricane on its way. The Hurricane's name is Joaquin, but it's pronounced like 'Wa' so when I first heard it on the radio, I was like 'Are we SERIOUSLY in the Ws already???? How is that possible???' I felt very lied to when I finally saw it in print, though that made more sense.
MJ has been fluctuating between very bad mouthy behavior and very good 'Gimme the good stuff back' good behavior. At one point she broke down enough to accuse me of only taking her in so I would look good. *deadpan stare* Look good to who? To everyone! They're always saying you're so great for taking me in! I wish they wouldn't say shit like that, really. We had to take you in. Anyone else would have done the same. And I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks of me as long as no one in power tries to take you away from me. *throws hands in air* She wanted me to prove that I don't care what people think, and that I love her. I told her that she doesn't really love me if she dares to ask me to prove it. She said she tries to hide that she loves me, which IS proof that she loves me. That's some fucked up thoughts, that is.
She's been trying to weasel out of punishments, and she's been talking more and more like a street thug. She's also been asking for cuddles, and I've been saying no because she annoys me so much, but I should really start accepting again. I'm sure she's lonely and unsure of herself. Maybe cuddles would help that. I just get bored and irritated cuddling her because she elbows me and kicks me and breathes on me and it's gross.
Still nothing on the job front. Mom says I should apply to banks, but I feel at a disadvantage because I only know anything about Wells Fargo and they keep rejecting me. Huh. Who does everyone use for their banking needs? That's something we haven't talked about before. Who do you use, and how do you feel about them?
Love you, miss you, hope to see you all soon!!!
Apparently there's a lot of flood watches and warnings in NC all over. We're having tons of storms, and on top of that, there's a Level 4 hurricane on its way. The Hurricane's name is Joaquin, but it's pronounced like 'Wa' so when I first heard it on the radio, I was like 'Are we SERIOUSLY in the Ws already???? How is that possible???' I felt very lied to when I finally saw it in print, though that made more sense.
MJ has been fluctuating between very bad mouthy behavior and very good 'Gimme the good stuff back' good behavior. At one point she broke down enough to accuse me of only taking her in so I would look good. *deadpan stare* Look good to who? To everyone! They're always saying you're so great for taking me in! I wish they wouldn't say shit like that, really. We had to take you in. Anyone else would have done the same. And I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks of me as long as no one in power tries to take you away from me. *throws hands in air* She wanted me to prove that I don't care what people think, and that I love her. I told her that she doesn't really love me if she dares to ask me to prove it. She said she tries to hide that she loves me, which IS proof that she loves me. That's some fucked up thoughts, that is.
She's been trying to weasel out of punishments, and she's been talking more and more like a street thug. She's also been asking for cuddles, and I've been saying no because she annoys me so much, but I should really start accepting again. I'm sure she's lonely and unsure of herself. Maybe cuddles would help that. I just get bored and irritated cuddling her because she elbows me and kicks me and breathes on me and it's gross.
Still nothing on the job front. Mom says I should apply to banks, but I feel at a disadvantage because I only know anything about Wells Fargo and they keep rejecting me. Huh. Who does everyone use for their banking needs? That's something we haven't talked about before. Who do you use, and how do you feel about them?
Love you, miss you, hope to see you all soon!!!
Thursday, September 17, 2015
New! Baby MAMA Drama....
So Cin has begun to clue in to how she is no longer MJ's parent, or at least, that's how it feels to her. Basically, my Facebook status went like this:
GRAR! THIS CHILD! Apparently I don't know how to tuck her in the way she likes. Hubby, apparently you spoil her! *feeling inadequate* (Because Hubby had to go in after me and 'fix' it tonight)
Hubby and Cin and I had some friendly comments where Hubby and I ribbed at each other over spoiling her. Cin chimes in with a 'Awww. Look at you two sounding like parents....' and Hubby and I had to stop and blink. SOUND like? Bitch, we ARE. But I, unsure if she meant it in a hurtful way, refrained from commenting. Hubby, stating that it didn't matter if HE was mean, responded '*Raises eyebrow* I think we are parents as far as I'm concerned'.
Frankly, I agree with him. Her comment came off as condescending in a 'Look at you pretending to be parents' kind of way, and it was a little hurtful. Obviously we're her parents. We feed her, clothe her, love her, and discipline her. If Cin were dead, there would be no question from any person's point of view, yes we're her parents. But because Cin is alive (and kicking), she took that as an attack on her being MJ's mom. She responded with (I will quote):
And yeah, maybe it hurt her a little, but for her to deny that we're MJ's parents? That's a blow to me!
So I'm in boxing you this because I was extremely offended by the comment HUBBY posted......I'm not sure if it was meant the way I took it however I was giving you guys a compliment and found you guys conversation to be cute and my comment was a compliment and I don't understand or appreciate the response. To me that last comment was not only unnecessary but below the belt.......like I said I'm not sure how it was meant....it's obvious that you guys take awesome care of MJ and do a great job, however you both are uncle and ain't...not parent. Thanks for making me feel even more awful than I already do. This whole situation is difficult for everyone involved. You, Hubby, MJ and me however I try really hard to respect boundaries and be appreciative and respectful of you two......please try to consider my feelings in the same manner that I do you guys.I don't know if either of you comprehend how hurtful that was but it was...
And yeah, maybe it hurt her a little, but for her to deny that we're MJ's parents? That's a blow to me! So I responded (with liberal comments from Hubby about how I was too harsh, or 'oh, lets not go there' so it was highly edited):
Cin, we're her parents. We're her Aunt and Uncle, true, but we're also her parents. You really need to come to terms with that. You are her mother, and we know and accept that. But we're raising her, and plan to be doing so until she's grown and in college or has a job that will support her. Frankly, your 'sounding like parents' comment was hurtful to us, and made it sound like we were pretending to be parents. Hubby didn't intend to hurt you with his response, but your comment was also hurtful. We weren't sure how you meant your comment either. It would certainly be easier if we can get along, and we're trying to, but you can't take ONE comment from us as being disrespectful of you and start drama. Just because we're her parents now doesn't mean that you're not also her mom. Ok? When we first brought her to our home, we sat down and agreed that we're her parents. Definition of parent is: one that begets offspring, OR one that brings up and cares for another. So we're all her parents, as far as my opinion goes. We've been respectful of you. You're the one taking us as a joke.
So now that I'm rereading all of it, I'm thinking we all took offense rather easily, and it will hopefully be ironed out tomorrow with little to no drama. But knowing my sister's perchance for it, and her complete boredom at present, who knows who she's going to drag into the argument before it gets worked out. I know if she annoys me too much, I'll just delete her on FB. I warned all family that if drama was started with me, you were gone. The only reason I haven't dropped the cousin from my last post is because she's pregnant and already losing most of her friends with her offensive posts.
Just keeping you up to date, and looking for opinions and comments. Thanks, goodnight!
GRAR! THIS CHILD! Apparently I don't know how to tuck her in the way she likes. Hubby, apparently you spoil her! *feeling inadequate* (Because Hubby had to go in after me and 'fix' it tonight)
Hubby and Cin and I had some friendly comments where Hubby and I ribbed at each other over spoiling her. Cin chimes in with a 'Awww. Look at you two sounding like parents....' and Hubby and I had to stop and blink. SOUND like? Bitch, we ARE. But I, unsure if she meant it in a hurtful way, refrained from commenting. Hubby, stating that it didn't matter if HE was mean, responded '*Raises eyebrow* I think we are parents as far as I'm concerned'.
Frankly, I agree with him. Her comment came off as condescending in a 'Look at you pretending to be parents' kind of way, and it was a little hurtful. Obviously we're her parents. We feed her, clothe her, love her, and discipline her. If Cin were dead, there would be no question from any person's point of view, yes we're her parents. But because Cin is alive (and kicking), she took that as an attack on her being MJ's mom. She responded with (I will quote):
And yeah, maybe it hurt her a little, but for her to deny that we're MJ's parents? That's a blow to me!
So I'm in boxing you this because I was extremely offended by the comment HUBBY posted......I'm not sure if it was meant the way I took it however I was giving you guys a compliment and found you guys conversation to be cute and my comment was a compliment and I don't understand or appreciate the response. To me that last comment was not only unnecessary but below the belt.......like I said I'm not sure how it was meant....it's obvious that you guys take awesome care of MJ and do a great job, however you both are uncle and ain't...not parent. Thanks for making me feel even more awful than I already do. This whole situation is difficult for everyone involved. You, Hubby, MJ and me however I try really hard to respect boundaries and be appreciative and respectful of you two......please try to consider my feelings in the same manner that I do you guys.I don't know if either of you comprehend how hurtful that was but it was...
And yeah, maybe it hurt her a little, but for her to deny that we're MJ's parents? That's a blow to me! So I responded (with liberal comments from Hubby about how I was too harsh, or 'oh, lets not go there' so it was highly edited):
Cin, we're her parents. We're her Aunt and Uncle, true, but we're also her parents. You really need to come to terms with that. You are her mother, and we know and accept that. But we're raising her, and plan to be doing so until she's grown and in college or has a job that will support her. Frankly, your 'sounding like parents' comment was hurtful to us, and made it sound like we were pretending to be parents. Hubby didn't intend to hurt you with his response, but your comment was also hurtful. We weren't sure how you meant your comment either. It would certainly be easier if we can get along, and we're trying to, but you can't take ONE comment from us as being disrespectful of you and start drama. Just because we're her parents now doesn't mean that you're not also her mom. Ok? When we first brought her to our home, we sat down and agreed that we're her parents. Definition of parent is: one that begets offspring, OR one that brings up and cares for another. So we're all her parents, as far as my opinion goes. We've been respectful of you. You're the one taking us as a joke.
So now that I'm rereading all of it, I'm thinking we all took offense rather easily, and it will hopefully be ironed out tomorrow with little to no drama. But knowing my sister's perchance for it, and her complete boredom at present, who knows who she's going to drag into the argument before it gets worked out. I know if she annoys me too much, I'll just delete her on FB. I warned all family that if drama was started with me, you were gone. The only reason I haven't dropped the cousin from my last post is because she's pregnant and already losing most of her friends with her offensive posts.
Just keeping you up to date, and looking for opinions and comments. Thanks, goodnight!
Friday, September 11, 2015
Baby Daddy Drama
My cousin and I had a conversation about my sister hitting on her then-boyfriend. Keep in mind this was probably near to a year ago, and she is NO LONGER with the man now. I want your thoughts on these kind of things. I mean, I don't like incest, and the idea of a man that's stuck his dick in my sister(s) sticking his dick into me is too close to incest for me. But I don't think it's fair to limit a partner's potential mate pool simply because they once fucked with you. Here's the conversation. What do you think?
- So... I heard Cin is out of jail now.
- C:
And that was that. I mean, I do understand it feels like a betrayal, but it shouldn't. That's how family fueds get started, and excessive drama. If you break up with someone, they're not yours to dictate to anymore. It may hurt for a while, but the only one who can fix that is yourself. I don't know. What do you guys think?
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Dance Team, GO!
MJ is trying out for the 'Golden Goddess Dance Team' and wanted me there today for the final day of tryouts. I got bored watching the girls make the same mistakes over and over, and was barely refraining from learning it for myself, because it was an interesting dance. MJ assured me there would be no booty-shaking in this team, because 'My coach said we're only middle schoolers and shouldn't be doing that kind of thing.' I really like her coach. He's funny but strict, and the dancing he choreographs is suggestive without being lewd.
What else.... MJ is impressive in that when the music starts is when she really becomes alive. Without music, she's okay, but her performance jumps when she's got music to jam to. It was cool to watch. Yesterday after her tryout, some girls asked if I was her mom, and she gave a hesitant 'yes'. They commented that we look like twins. Our hair is very similar but we don't have much else in common.
I had an interview today. IF they're interested in me, they'll ask to me shadow for an hour sometime a week or two from now. I don't know my odds, but I'm a little hopeful.
I notice my behavior changes when I have something to look forward to. I did all the laundry yesterday, made dinner, and cleaned the bathroom just from that call. It'd be nice if I could find something to look forward to in every day, but life can be pretty boring if you don't have to do a lot of things.
So, little note here about my sisters. Oldest (mother of boys), is in the hospital because of her heart. She's been delving into drugs rather heavily in the last few weeks, and it's probably put a strain on her heart. She's like, 34 or something now, and she's always treated her body rather shabbily, so I can understand it, but I'm not particularly upset. She hasn't called me, and she hasn't done anything to make me care since she betrayed everyone a few weeks ago and disappeared. I'm not really tempted to call her at all, except that while writing this I've started to feel guilty. Maybe I'll call her tomorrow.
The next one (MJ's mother) is getting out of jail next week. She had tons of money on our phone number to call, but she hasn't called at all this week, though she called 3 or 4 times last week. I'm disappointed, and a little relieved because she always called while I was sleeping.
My brother is doing well. Uncle Johnny is in jail (he's been living with Bubba) after holding up a CVS, and so Bubba has the place to himself. My mom has been remodeling it for him, making it nice to live in. She came up over the weekend and helped us pick out and move some bigger furniture we wouldn't have been able to get otherwise, like a beautiful desk and wicker entertainment center. I still want to spray paint the entertainment center a color that isn't white, but I'm less adamant about making it black now. It'd be hard to come back from black.
Our closet is getting full of things that we don't need right now, like clothes and toys and such that we aren't really ready to unpack.
I've taken to documenting all the crazy creepy-crawlies that I find and kill here. Spiders, Millipedes, Centipedes, rolly-pollies bigger than my pinkie, all sorts of shit. I have a spider bite on my arm that isn't healing very well. It's still about the size of a quarter, but now it's purplish and looks like a bruise. I really thought it would heal quicker than that, and it still itches and stings sometimes.
That's all. My eyes are tired, so I'm gonna stop now. I feel vaguely depressed, dissatisfied, unhappy, and angry all at once, and without any reason I can find. MJ wears on my nerves with her borderline attitude, and it's been making me snappy. Maybe that's what wears me out so much nowadays. Oh well. Oh, also: Pineapples, Shodor's Baby Daddy, I used you as references. Hope you don't mind. :X
There's gonna be a lot of music in this post, because there's a lot of interesting new music coming out lately.
This is just hilarious. "Downtown" by Macklemore.
In case this one doesn't load (I've noticed not all do) The name of it is "Growing up" by Macklemore and Ed Sheeran. It moves me, and really encapsulates being a parent to me.
What else.... MJ is impressive in that when the music starts is when she really becomes alive. Without music, she's okay, but her performance jumps when she's got music to jam to. It was cool to watch. Yesterday after her tryout, some girls asked if I was her mom, and she gave a hesitant 'yes'. They commented that we look like twins. Our hair is very similar but we don't have much else in common.
I had an interview today. IF they're interested in me, they'll ask to me shadow for an hour sometime a week or two from now. I don't know my odds, but I'm a little hopeful.
I notice my behavior changes when I have something to look forward to. I did all the laundry yesterday, made dinner, and cleaned the bathroom just from that call. It'd be nice if I could find something to look forward to in every day, but life can be pretty boring if you don't have to do a lot of things.
So, little note here about my sisters. Oldest (mother of boys), is in the hospital because of her heart. She's been delving into drugs rather heavily in the last few weeks, and it's probably put a strain on her heart. She's like, 34 or something now, and she's always treated her body rather shabbily, so I can understand it, but I'm not particularly upset. She hasn't called me, and she hasn't done anything to make me care since she betrayed everyone a few weeks ago and disappeared. I'm not really tempted to call her at all, except that while writing this I've started to feel guilty. Maybe I'll call her tomorrow.
The next one (MJ's mother) is getting out of jail next week. She had tons of money on our phone number to call, but she hasn't called at all this week, though she called 3 or 4 times last week. I'm disappointed, and a little relieved because she always called while I was sleeping.
My brother is doing well. Uncle Johnny is in jail (he's been living with Bubba) after holding up a CVS, and so Bubba has the place to himself. My mom has been remodeling it for him, making it nice to live in. She came up over the weekend and helped us pick out and move some bigger furniture we wouldn't have been able to get otherwise, like a beautiful desk and wicker entertainment center. I still want to spray paint the entertainment center a color that isn't white, but I'm less adamant about making it black now. It'd be hard to come back from black.
Our closet is getting full of things that we don't need right now, like clothes and toys and such that we aren't really ready to unpack.
I've taken to documenting all the crazy creepy-crawlies that I find and kill here. Spiders, Millipedes, Centipedes, rolly-pollies bigger than my pinkie, all sorts of shit. I have a spider bite on my arm that isn't healing very well. It's still about the size of a quarter, but now it's purplish and looks like a bruise. I really thought it would heal quicker than that, and it still itches and stings sometimes.
That's all. My eyes are tired, so I'm gonna stop now. I feel vaguely depressed, dissatisfied, unhappy, and angry all at once, and without any reason I can find. MJ wears on my nerves with her borderline attitude, and it's been making me snappy. Maybe that's what wears me out so much nowadays. Oh well. Oh, also: Pineapples, Shodor's Baby Daddy, I used you as references. Hope you don't mind. :X
There's gonna be a lot of music in this post, because there's a lot of interesting new music coming out lately.
This is just hilarious. "Downtown" by Macklemore.
In case this one doesn't load (I've noticed not all do) The name of it is "Growing up" by Macklemore and Ed Sheeran. It moves me, and really encapsulates being a parent to me.
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