The crazy train's name is MJ. We were planning on going to the movie Lego Batman because Kaydikins and MJ both said they wanted to see it. Problem was that they were both behaving like brats and being annoying in general during the 30 minute car ride there. Kaydikins was talking about how he was going to go look for guns to kill people with. He said something else bad I don't quite remember, but Runa joked and said to MJ "See MJ, look at how you are influencing him" but MJ took it seriously. Then when Runa explained that it was a joke, MJ said "OK then" but in a "I'm right, you're wrong" kind of tone that Runa took to be disrespectful. One thing led to another and MJ escalated the situation by not being quiet when Runa told her to be. So since I had already seen the movie and MJ was not improving her behavior, we decided that I would take her back to Runa's mom's house. She had a fit and screamed multiple things. Most of the things she screamed were about how it wasn't her fault and she did nothing wrong and how she had been trying really hard to behave well so that Kaydikins would have someone to look up to (which I had to restrain a laugh at because she was being so obnoxious at that point).
I took her back home myself and she tried her best to rant to me and get me to be mad. She started off with an unreasonable request that I take her back to our house (two hours away). I told her no a couple times and she asked why and I told her I'm the driver and I'm not willing to drive two hours there and back. She said that she thought Runa had overreacted and that she was trying to pretend to not be too enthusiastic about the movie (it didn't really make sense) and she asked why every time she tried to do something right she messed up. She said at one point that she hates her entire family. She asked me why I ever even married Runa. I told her Runa was a good person. She said that no she wasn't, she just thinks she is. She said she hated Runa's mom and always hates coming to her house and I was just like... "I'm not going to defend what she said when she called your hair ugly and stuff when you cut it, but to me that seems like a silly thing to hold a grudge over." Then she said that she hated Runa's mom because she had Cin, Kris, and Runa and that all the stuff that happened is basically her fault because she decided to get with a bunch of different men. My response was that it was pointless to play the blame game since she would have to get mad at basically all of her ancestors, and their ancestors before them. She took a shot at me and said that I "stole Runa from the family" because whenever we got married Runa stopped spending time with her. I didn't really dignify that with a response because she was just spewing out random crap at that point. All I said was no, I didn't. She said she wasn't good at anything and would turn out just like her mom. And then of course she argued with me about how she wasn't good at dancing or playing softball and that she doesn't actually enjoy playing softball, that it was just something for her to get through. That there wasn't really a point to her life besides playing softball and that she wasn't even good at it.
She piled on Kaydikins as well. Alot of the stuff she said made it clear that she thought that her and Kaydikins should be held to the same standard. She said that Kaydikins did this or said this but that she was held to an unfair higher standard. Like she said he used the words nigger, cunt, and other stuff and that she knew if she said things like that we would punish her severely. I pointed out that she was 13 and he was 8, so he doesn't know the meaning behind the words but she should know better. She said that he had alot more issues than she thought he did and that he had told her he wanted to kill himself. And that she didn't want him to like her or be around her because she wasn't a good example.
Runa's Addition: Of course after the movie, Hubby came to pick us up, and Kaydikins and I weren't able to really enjoy the movie because we both felt like MJ should be there with us, but we can't reward bad behaviour just because we want to have her with us. I had to talk to Kaydikins multiple times about how we can't indulge MJ or it will spoil her and she won't learn to behave better, but I think Kaydikins kinda got the point. We went to Ross's, 2nd and Charles, and Walgreens shopping after the movie, which Mum said made MJ really mad (quietly) about. Eventually MJ called us (we were heading home by that point) asking if we'd be coming home soon, since she wasn't allowed to go out. I told her she wasn't allowed to go play with her friends because she'd behaved so badly in the car, so she was bored at home by herself.
When we got home, we ate soup (Mommy's homemade soup! YAY!), and then got Mom's car ready to be washed and cleaned by MJ because she lost a bet with me a few days ago. We eased up because originally she was supposed to do it by herself, but if she did, it'd be sloppy and take forever and we'd never get to play water balloons with the kids. So the four of us played and washed and worked and eventually did a good enough job, and we got the water balloons filled, but the water balloons are rather difficult to pop.
This created it's own problems which eventually escalated into one of the worst fits MJ has had this year. She and Kaydikins exasperated each other to the point that when Kaydikins got the last water spray in as he went inside, MJ ended up screaming about how he's the reason everything goes wrong. When I corrected her, that it's her attitude ruining everything, she screamed 'Well maybe that's because I shouldn't be here!!' and tried to go inside. Mom kicked her back out because she wasn't ready for her (she was wet, and the AC would have gotten her sick, and Kaydikins was still bathing) so we told her she's required to pick up all the water balloon remains for screaming at me for the third time today.
Of course this made her angry, and she came up to me with her fists clenched, and threatened to take me down. I looked her in the eye and told her she'd be the one going down, but if she'd like, please continue to come at me. She turned around and walked to the hose for the water balloons. As I started to say she didn't need to pick that up, she started trying to break it, so I went to take it from her. She continued to play keep away until Hubby finally came to help me, at which point she threw it rather than give it to us.
I tried to restrain her as she started to thrash (I didn't realize it then, but she was trying to get a good angle to kick me) but she was slippery, and so was I, so when she went to hit me, I caught her arms, and dropped her to the ground, then sat on her lightly to keep her from getting her legs in my crotch area. When she screamed she couldn't breathe, I lightened the pressure a bit, but refused to release her because she admitted she was going to continue trying to hurt me, and she wouldn't calm down.
She spewed a lot of shit about how I'm a liar because I said I don't get jealous (this goes back to a long time ago, when we had a girls day out and I told her jealousy would destroy her life) and since I'm human, jealousy happens. I think she must have been chewing over my words for a long time and found she couldn't restrain her jealousy, so doesn't believe someone else can (or else is ironically jealous that I'm not jealous of others).
There were other things, like screaming that she wishes I was her mother and not that big fat hoe that is. I genuinely was fighting to keep her from thrashing and missed parts of it (Hubby heard that part) and thought she was calling me a big fat hoe. I said something to the effect of 'I'm sorry you think I'm a ho, but that's your opinion,' and she screamed 'Not you!! Her!!' and I'm fighting to keep hold of her hands so she can't punch at me again, and I'm just like 'Oh.' I can't really argue that opinion of her mother right now, so okay.
At one point, I warned her that if she couldn't calm down, I would press her diaphragm til she passed out to get her to stop screaming, it was that bad. After that, she was down to spewing venom with her words, but not her voice. She also stopped trying to punch me around then. I could finally let her arms go, which was great because I was dizzy from leaning over like that.
I've prolly damaged my mom's reputation in the neighborhood, considering we were in the front yard, with me holding down a screaming 13 yr old. Several people walked or drove by during this, during sunset on a Saturday night. Mom was worried police would be called on us, but I wouldn't have cared. I repeatedly told MJ I wouldn't let her go until she calmed down. Eventually she was down to just crying and asking to go home. She was worried Kaydikins would hate her, and didn't want to go inside. Once I got her to go inside, she didn't want to be alone during her shower, so asked me to stay. I ended up getting in the shower right after her, so we had a fairly non-awkward 'we're both naked' moment, not counting the one when she couldn't get her hips to stop itching, and I ended up washing her hips, back, shoulders, etc for her. She and I are allergic to grass, so it's got to be cleaned off thoroughly, especially her, since she was held down in the grass for so long.
During her shower, she asked me why she was like this, why she couldn't be good, and why she couldn't just be what she wanted to be. She talked about how she's been trying so hard to change and she can't and she hated herself so much and why couldn't she just die. It's been an interesting evening. I'm exhausted and tired and just kind of ready to throw in the towel for the night.
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Sunday, April 9, 2017
I has new job. Cheeseburger?
By that, I mean that I now work three jobs, and that comes to massaging six days in a row, and twice on Mondays. My new boss sampled my massage (and paid for it omg) and says I am highly skilled and she loves it. I like this job, even if its an IC position (noe, why, ugh, taxes are gonna be fun) and I like the people I work with. I'm hoping I'll be able to leave my old massage job soon, as I feel under appreciated and over worked. By that, I mean that management isnt doing what they're supposed to, and we're having to pick up the slack.
We visited with Hubby's family this weekend. We were also apparently supposed to chat with Caitlec, but we all seem to have forgotten. I was too busy getting creamed at pool and table tennis to remember. We ate separately from his parents Saturday because they wanted to go to church, and we visited Books a Million (an endangered species, believe me) then ate at an expensive Italian place.
I wasn't looking for expensive, but I was looking for local. I do try to eat at locally owned unique restaurants because it assists the community, it usually isn't freezer food, and sometimes you hear the most amazing stories. This wasn't that experience, but the food was good, and we were able to have a deep convo with MJ for the first time without frustration from anybody.
I think it unsettled Hubby to be there but away from his parents, cause he made some comments later that felt like he was unsettled at the change in routine. Normally we pretty much hang with his parents the whole time, do what they want to, and eat wherever together (or MIL feeds us). The visits to our parents are very different from each other. It also prolly doesnt help that he doesnt really have any friends in his hometown, and no siblings, so doing things without his mom at least must feel strange.
For me, its really a treat when I get a full day with my mom, but also thats usually all either of us can handle. So one day is with my mom, and the other is doing things I want to with whoever, like my bro, sis, friend, just hubby, etc. For me, constantly being with parents (particularly as I rather judged when his mom is around) is strange, unsettling and stressful. I try to enjoy it though, as they are family.
Its really strange when Hubby asks what I want to do as though I know what the options are. It isnt my hometown, I dont know what to do. I think he'll do better with that over time thougj, and the flea market we visited this time was neat. I'd like to go again.
The beach was also nice. Itd be nice to spend a week there and really enjoy the sun and sea. Oh well. Maybe sometime in summer.
This song reminds me of one of the worst fights I've had with Hubby:
We visited with Hubby's family this weekend. We were also apparently supposed to chat with Caitlec, but we all seem to have forgotten. I was too busy getting creamed at pool and table tennis to remember. We ate separately from his parents Saturday because they wanted to go to church, and we visited Books a Million (an endangered species, believe me) then ate at an expensive Italian place.
I wasn't looking for expensive, but I was looking for local. I do try to eat at locally owned unique restaurants because it assists the community, it usually isn't freezer food, and sometimes you hear the most amazing stories. This wasn't that experience, but the food was good, and we were able to have a deep convo with MJ for the first time without frustration from anybody.
I think it unsettled Hubby to be there but away from his parents, cause he made some comments later that felt like he was unsettled at the change in routine. Normally we pretty much hang with his parents the whole time, do what they want to, and eat wherever together (or MIL feeds us). The visits to our parents are very different from each other. It also prolly doesnt help that he doesnt really have any friends in his hometown, and no siblings, so doing things without his mom at least must feel strange.
For me, its really a treat when I get a full day with my mom, but also thats usually all either of us can handle. So one day is with my mom, and the other is doing things I want to with whoever, like my bro, sis, friend, just hubby, etc. For me, constantly being with parents (particularly as I rather judged when his mom is around) is strange, unsettling and stressful. I try to enjoy it though, as they are family.
Its really strange when Hubby asks what I want to do as though I know what the options are. It isnt my hometown, I dont know what to do. I think he'll do better with that over time thougj, and the flea market we visited this time was neat. I'd like to go again.
The beach was also nice. Itd be nice to spend a week there and really enjoy the sun and sea. Oh well. Maybe sometime in summer.
This song reminds me of one of the worst fights I've had with Hubby:
Monday, March 20, 2017
One thing I've noticed is that I'm expensive
I don't just mean in my spending habits. I average $21.25 per hour when I'm working, excluding any tips, and including my work as a tutor. Based on my glance at our account this morning, if I wish to make as much as Hubby, but still only perform 12 hours of massage, I need to be paid $27-30 an hour, which is on the high end of an employee level massage therapist, but the low end if I worked for myself. Its completely feasible though. An average of $8-12 dollars in tips at that compensation would see me on equal earnings with Hubby, if I maintained my current tutoring schedule.
In a way it boggles the mind, that a $10 difference in salary could put me on par with a Researcher at a prestigious university. It almost makes it worth the effort to market myself. Being realistic however, I have 0 skill at selling myself. When panhandling once (for charity) I entirely earned my money by silently pouting at people pitifully in the rain because calling out was entirely too mortifying. If I won't do it for charity, I certainly won't do it for myself.
Still, I'm making great efforts to spend less money, and looking for ways to increase our income as well. I've joined a barter site that lets you trade services with your skills alone. I think its wonderful. Its paying for me and MJ's hair cut and color, for the price of four hour long massages. Its quite a fair trade, if a touch generous on my end.
It also lists a dental practice, and even child birth classes as things I can barter for. Thats really awesome for me. There of course are other services to be found, but those are the ones on my mind right now.
Thats pretty much it. Im just thinking of ways to increase our finances so Hubby wont worry as much. I wanted a record of the price range I need to be looking for, and some easy ways to substitute service for services.
Also? Child tried to return her sex toy last week 'because its boring'. I was shocked, and told her it wasnt meant to be exciting, it was to serve a function, and if she didnt want it, she could do without. My job is not to titillate her senses but to help her grow as an adult. Ugh.
In a way it boggles the mind, that a $10 difference in salary could put me on par with a Researcher at a prestigious university. It almost makes it worth the effort to market myself. Being realistic however, I have 0 skill at selling myself. When panhandling once (for charity) I entirely earned my money by silently pouting at people pitifully in the rain because calling out was entirely too mortifying. If I won't do it for charity, I certainly won't do it for myself.
Still, I'm making great efforts to spend less money, and looking for ways to increase our income as well. I've joined a barter site that lets you trade services with your skills alone. I think its wonderful. Its paying for me and MJ's hair cut and color, for the price of four hour long massages. Its quite a fair trade, if a touch generous on my end.
It also lists a dental practice, and even child birth classes as things I can barter for. Thats really awesome for me. There of course are other services to be found, but those are the ones on my mind right now.
Thats pretty much it. Im just thinking of ways to increase our finances so Hubby wont worry as much. I wanted a record of the price range I need to be looking for, and some easy ways to substitute service for services.
Also? Child tried to return her sex toy last week 'because its boring'. I was shocked, and told her it wasnt meant to be exciting, it was to serve a function, and if she didnt want it, she could do without. My job is not to titillate her senses but to help her grow as an adult. Ugh.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
I just gave my daughter a sex toy
And oh god, I feel icky. Let me start from the beginning.
See, when she asked for dick picks last week, we had her write a paper on why she did it, and she admitted she has sexual urges that she doesn't know how to deal with. She's struggling to reign in her hormones and her curiosity about sex in general, and not doing the greatest job of it. That's why she looks up porn, that's why she solicits picks, that's why she thinks being raped would be fine as long as they don't kill her.
She's curious, and we as parents have a responsibility to help her understand the urges. Historically, she would be looking for a husband, if not already married. In modern times, these urges have no legal outlet, no relief and no understanding. As her parents, we need to assist her before she indulges in boy-girl exploration.
This in no way is easy on me. Hubby seems to think it's no big deal, but I have strong mental blocks. I'm not sure if it's because I've actually been with her since birth, because I was always taught any sexual exploration should be discrete and out of sight of parents, or because until I turned 16, I genuinely believed sex was illegal if you weren't married. All of it culminates in my reluctant assistance. I actually only assisted because the Family Therapist said it was not strange, and that Hubby found it's not illegal to buy a toy for a minor. Possibly frowned upon, but not illegal. Additionally? I don't want to imagine her shoving random things up her body out of the need for relief. Just. Ugh.
The trip to the store was interesting. I wanted Hubby to go, but ended up going by myself. I felt way too awkward to say 'I'm buying this for my daughter, can you show me anything you'd recommend for a beginner that's not sexually active?' so ended up walking down every aisle, looking at a lot of toys, asking lots of questions, and finding a lot of interesting things in general. In the end, as I always do when I visit that type of sex shop, I bought a 'mystery gift bag' that guarantees the contents to be worth twice as much as you spend, if not more.
Ironically, the contents had a sex toy that I already have. I had bought her a 'discreet travel kit' with three attachments for different 'textures' but the one I now had a second of is actually a REALLY good toy. Like, worth $60+, lasts a long time, safe for beginners, and simple to use. So I gave her that one instead. We didn't tell her that I have the same one (that'd just be really awkward), but I'm fairly certain she'll have her name on it in no time, so I won't have to worry about any mix-ups.
I'd considered giving her both, but hubby said to let her get used to one first, and that she'd prolly lose the attachments if we gave her the other one. Both good points, I'll admit.
Before we gave it to her, we had her write the 'Rules of the Vagina' (her term, not mine), and I explained how tampons work. I didn't mean to her scare her off them, but that's what seemed to happen. Incidentally? She thought pads dissolved, and was flushing them down the toilet. CRAZY ASS CHILD.
Phew. So, yeah. Just felt this was a good 'for posterity' moment. Thanks for reading!
See, when she asked for dick picks last week, we had her write a paper on why she did it, and she admitted she has sexual urges that she doesn't know how to deal with. She's struggling to reign in her hormones and her curiosity about sex in general, and not doing the greatest job of it. That's why she looks up porn, that's why she solicits picks, that's why she thinks being raped would be fine as long as they don't kill her.
She's curious, and we as parents have a responsibility to help her understand the urges. Historically, she would be looking for a husband, if not already married. In modern times, these urges have no legal outlet, no relief and no understanding. As her parents, we need to assist her before she indulges in boy-girl exploration.
This in no way is easy on me. Hubby seems to think it's no big deal, but I have strong mental blocks. I'm not sure if it's because I've actually been with her since birth, because I was always taught any sexual exploration should be discrete and out of sight of parents, or because until I turned 16, I genuinely believed sex was illegal if you weren't married. All of it culminates in my reluctant assistance. I actually only assisted because the Family Therapist said it was not strange, and that Hubby found it's not illegal to buy a toy for a minor. Possibly frowned upon, but not illegal. Additionally? I don't want to imagine her shoving random things up her body out of the need for relief. Just. Ugh.
The trip to the store was interesting. I wanted Hubby to go, but ended up going by myself. I felt way too awkward to say 'I'm buying this for my daughter, can you show me anything you'd recommend for a beginner that's not sexually active?' so ended up walking down every aisle, looking at a lot of toys, asking lots of questions, and finding a lot of interesting things in general. In the end, as I always do when I visit that type of sex shop, I bought a 'mystery gift bag' that guarantees the contents to be worth twice as much as you spend, if not more.
Ironically, the contents had a sex toy that I already have. I had bought her a 'discreet travel kit' with three attachments for different 'textures' but the one I now had a second of is actually a REALLY good toy. Like, worth $60+, lasts a long time, safe for beginners, and simple to use. So I gave her that one instead. We didn't tell her that I have the same one (that'd just be really awkward), but I'm fairly certain she'll have her name on it in no time, so I won't have to worry about any mix-ups.
I'd considered giving her both, but hubby said to let her get used to one first, and that she'd prolly lose the attachments if we gave her the other one. Both good points, I'll admit.
Before we gave it to her, we had her write the 'Rules of the Vagina' (her term, not mine), and I explained how tampons work. I didn't mean to her scare her off them, but that's what seemed to happen. Incidentally? She thought pads dissolved, and was flushing them down the toilet. CRAZY ASS CHILD.
Phew. So, yeah. Just felt this was a good 'for posterity' moment. Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Mia's notes to me
In December, I made an advent calendar for Hubby and MJ. She wrote notes back to me for some of the days. They say:
Dec 1- You're important!
Dec 2- I love you!
Dec 3- I NEED you!
Dec 4- Never let go
I think these are short but heartfelt, and wanted an immortal record of them. Thats all.
Dec 1- You're important!
Dec 2- I love you!
Dec 3- I NEED you!
Dec 4- Never let go
I think these are short but heartfelt, and wanted an immortal record of them. Thats all.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
As Mr Frosty once said
Happy Birthday!
Its the Hubby's birthday once again, and like in recent years, he's impossible to shop for. He buys whatever he needs, and I distinctly worry about buying the wrong thing and wasting money. One thing that never turns out badly however is sweets.
On that note, he's getting a cute little pudge in his belly. I love it, but it seems to stress him a bit, and blood pressure is something to keep an eye on, so I'm reluctant to ply him with sweets this year. His mom does that enough for me anyway.
I'm making steaks for dinner, and just hope I do well, considering I dont actually have a grill. After all the steaks I've had lately though, I may insist on going vegetarian for a few days to get some relief from it. Meat is great, but veggies are more versatile and less heavy.
Part of his present is this post, as I've neglected to blog much. Teehee?
Hmmmmm..... Heartfelt thoughts: Holy Moly we've been together nearly ten years and are still in love. Isn't that amazing? I'm so very glad I chose you, and that you chose me. I love you. Thanks for sticking with me on this rollercoaster we call life.
Its the Hubby's birthday once again, and like in recent years, he's impossible to shop for. He buys whatever he needs, and I distinctly worry about buying the wrong thing and wasting money. One thing that never turns out badly however is sweets.
On that note, he's getting a cute little pudge in his belly. I love it, but it seems to stress him a bit, and blood pressure is something to keep an eye on, so I'm reluctant to ply him with sweets this year. His mom does that enough for me anyway.
I'm making steaks for dinner, and just hope I do well, considering I dont actually have a grill. After all the steaks I've had lately though, I may insist on going vegetarian for a few days to get some relief from it. Meat is great, but veggies are more versatile and less heavy.
Part of his present is this post, as I've neglected to blog much. Teehee?
Hmmmmm..... Heartfelt thoughts: Holy Moly we've been together nearly ten years and are still in love. Isn't that amazing? I'm so very glad I chose you, and that you chose me. I love you. Thanks for sticking with me on this rollercoaster we call life.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Family Therapy Is In The Cards
Yes, I know 'Is In The' is technically wrong, but it always bothers me when we decide oh, these words aren't as important, lets not capitalize them even though all the others are.
Anyway, so as a result of the assessment MJ had a few weeks ago, we are all facing Family Therapy for the next six months (is the expected time length, but I'm fairly sure it'll be longer, as we all have issues, and MJ takes the cake on them all). They do not do Individual Therapy and Family Therapy at the same time, (insurance policy) so we're looking to have more focus on MJ, though it's already been stated that she'll want to work alone with each of us to assess our needs and work through them.
I think we really relieved her when she was talking about parenting help and counselling and we both started nodding immediately. She's used to more closed minded families that don't think they do anything wrong. We know we need help, but my family says to beat her, and Hubby's family says ....well, not much, as they don't have experience with these issues. Neither is really much help in parenting a child that is so desperate for attention, and so pig-headed at the same time.
We saw 'On the Edge of Seventeen' a few weeks ago. I liked that the protagonist was a legit normal stupid bitch, as we don't often have that happen in movies. I didn't like her, I wouldn't be her friend, but I also really appreciated the honesty of the movie and how life can work. The ending was a little unrealistic, but it was still really good, and Hubby and I both really want MJ to see the movie, because the protagonist reminded us both of her, but it's rated R. It's not that out there, really, but it does have some ....uh, overly honest sentiments of a sexual nature.
Speaking of, MJ wrote a suicide note on Monday, and 'tried' to commit suicide. What she really did was scratch up our walls, the counters we prepare food on, and scratch her arms twice. As a result, she has to write two pages back and front of two people she's grateful for and has to be able to call them and tell them about it. Bint wanted to write them to celebrities because 'she doesn't feel grateful to anyone that isn't an idol.'
We asked the therapist we'll be seeing (she'll come to our house twice a week starting in the new year, but for now she'll just check in as she's booked, and going on vacation) about 'how do we punish this??' in regards to her scratching up the walls and herself, and she kinda redirected the conversation in an uncomfortable, I don't know how to answer that, kind of way. I don't really blame her, as the follow up question was relevant, but not helpful for us. Hubbity didn't say much of anything during the entire interview, besides requesting that MJ get a psych assessment to get some medicinal help in controlling her moods. Not to the extent that she came to us in, but enough to prevent the lows from threatening her life.
Today Hubby had lunch with his parents. I was supposed to go as well, but when he didn't give me a breakdown of the 'where and when' like I asked for, I lost patience and decided to stay in bed. I didn't want to go if there was going to be Mexican food, as my stomach was a little iffy, but since Hubby couldn't tell me what he'd decided on for sure, I got too frustrated to bother asking the same thing for a third time. As a result, when he came home from work tonight, we had a fight and ended up not speaking for most of the evening. We've kind of just pretended it didn't happen at this point.
I went to work, worked on one client, met another new therapist (They just hired four), chatted, had a no show, and got to go home in time to tuck the princess into bed (though that's Hubby's job, cause I don't do it right). I consoled her when she 'sprained' her wrist getting into bed.
There's been an outbreak of chicken pox at her school, and we don't know if she's had chicken pox already. I vaguely recall having to soothe her when she was little and had some rashes but don't remember if it was chicken pox, so we're waiting for my sister to call so I can ask her. She didn't get it during her time in foster care, which is the only medical records she came with.
Tomorrow I have tutoring for a Japanese woman, then I'm going to get adjusted and a massage because I haven't had one in five weeks due to getting sick 4 times in that period, and having a cold sore the other week.
I cleaned up the area around my bedside because I was sick of tripping over things. I was still angry with Hubby while I was cleaning, and I don't like to having people around when I'm cleaning anyway (Growing up, if someone was around, they'd either make a smart ass comment or purposely mess it up for me, so I just dislike it now), so I asked him to leave. I managed to go through my clothes and get the summer/spring ones packed away, and pull out winter clothes. I have a lot of dresses I love. I didn't realize quite how many I had until I was unpacking them all. The closet looks so much better now.
I bought a selection of wines from brightcellars that is supposed to mathematically match you with the perfect wine for your tastes. It tastes pretty gross unfortunately, and the first sip always numbs my tongue. Does anyone else have that happen? It's always done that to me, actually. I just don't know anyone else it happens to.
Here's a song I like, though I'm a little confused by all the sex talk considering it's Bruno Mars and I feel like he's becoming jaded.
I think we really relieved her when she was talking about parenting help and counselling and we both started nodding immediately. She's used to more closed minded families that don't think they do anything wrong. We know we need help, but my family says to beat her, and Hubby's family says ....well, not much, as they don't have experience with these issues. Neither is really much help in parenting a child that is so desperate for attention, and so pig-headed at the same time.
We saw 'On the Edge of Seventeen' a few weeks ago. I liked that the protagonist was a legit normal stupid bitch, as we don't often have that happen in movies. I didn't like her, I wouldn't be her friend, but I also really appreciated the honesty of the movie and how life can work. The ending was a little unrealistic, but it was still really good, and Hubby and I both really want MJ to see the movie, because the protagonist reminded us both of her, but it's rated R. It's not that out there, really, but it does have some ....uh, overly honest sentiments of a sexual nature.
Speaking of, MJ wrote a suicide note on Monday, and 'tried' to commit suicide. What she really did was scratch up our walls, the counters we prepare food on, and scratch her arms twice. As a result, she has to write two pages back and front of two people she's grateful for and has to be able to call them and tell them about it. Bint wanted to write them to celebrities because 'she doesn't feel grateful to anyone that isn't an idol.'
We asked the therapist we'll be seeing (she'll come to our house twice a week starting in the new year, but for now she'll just check in as she's booked, and going on vacation) about 'how do we punish this??' in regards to her scratching up the walls and herself, and she kinda redirected the conversation in an uncomfortable, I don't know how to answer that, kind of way. I don't really blame her, as the follow up question was relevant, but not helpful for us. Hubbity didn't say much of anything during the entire interview, besides requesting that MJ get a psych assessment to get some medicinal help in controlling her moods. Not to the extent that she came to us in, but enough to prevent the lows from threatening her life.
Today Hubby had lunch with his parents. I was supposed to go as well, but when he didn't give me a breakdown of the 'where and when' like I asked for, I lost patience and decided to stay in bed. I didn't want to go if there was going to be Mexican food, as my stomach was a little iffy, but since Hubby couldn't tell me what he'd decided on for sure, I got too frustrated to bother asking the same thing for a third time. As a result, when he came home from work tonight, we had a fight and ended up not speaking for most of the evening. We've kind of just pretended it didn't happen at this point.
I went to work, worked on one client, met another new therapist (They just hired four), chatted, had a no show, and got to go home in time to tuck the princess into bed (though that's Hubby's job, cause I don't do it right). I consoled her when she 'sprained' her wrist getting into bed.
There's been an outbreak of chicken pox at her school, and we don't know if she's had chicken pox already. I vaguely recall having to soothe her when she was little and had some rashes but don't remember if it was chicken pox, so we're waiting for my sister to call so I can ask her. She didn't get it during her time in foster care, which is the only medical records she came with.
Tomorrow I have tutoring for a Japanese woman, then I'm going to get adjusted and a massage because I haven't had one in five weeks due to getting sick 4 times in that period, and having a cold sore the other week.
I cleaned up the area around my bedside because I was sick of tripping over things. I was still angry with Hubby while I was cleaning, and I don't like to having people around when I'm cleaning anyway (Growing up, if someone was around, they'd either make a smart ass comment or purposely mess it up for me, so I just dislike it now), so I asked him to leave. I managed to go through my clothes and get the summer/spring ones packed away, and pull out winter clothes. I have a lot of dresses I love. I didn't realize quite how many I had until I was unpacking them all. The closet looks so much better now.
I bought a selection of wines from brightcellars that is supposed to mathematically match you with the perfect wine for your tastes. It tastes pretty gross unfortunately, and the first sip always numbs my tongue. Does anyone else have that happen? It's always done that to me, actually. I just don't know anyone else it happens to.
Here's a song I like, though I'm a little confused by all the sex talk considering it's Bruno Mars and I feel like he's becoming jaded.
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