Monday, December 29, 2008
Content, or Discontent
Have you ever been so content that you fear it's ending? Like, you know you can't be that happy for very long, that there's definitely gonna be something that makes it go wrong? That's me. Everytime I get too close to someone, or something(i think cats count as someone, but to be safe...), I begin to get nervous, I know that somehow, it's about it end. And it does. I was laying here with Maya, and all of a sudden, I get the nervous feeling. I think about why I feel that way, and realize, I'm almost certain there's no way she'll stay with me til morning. When I relax and drift into unconsciousness, I just know she'll leave me. So I savor every moment, every content feeling, every instant of love, of feeling loved, of loving. And I wait for it to end. I dont know if it's a side effect of my inferiority complex from so long ago, but I feel like such a feeling of bliss and comfort cant last, not for my sake. I want others to have that feeling forever, they deserve it. I will strive my hardest to become worthy of it. I just don't know what would make one person worthy and another not. Is it good grades? Understanding material? Compassion? Money? What makes one worthy of love?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Soulmates
Do you believe there's someone somewhere that can only belong to you, and you can only belong to them? I don't think it's limited to just two people. I bet there's types of people that are 100% compatable with you, and vise versa, and that ....darn...i lost my train of thought. I might take this up later. It was the result of an interesting convo with E.
Also, I think my theme song would be "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. Just a continuation of a "Question of the Day" that I feel I answered without enough forethought.
Also, I think my theme song would be "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. Just a continuation of a "Question of the Day" that I feel I answered without enough forethought.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Whoo....Masochists.
...Let's see...You seek pain, and you are fascinated by others that receive the pain. You feel that someone you've just hurt 'hog[s] it all to herself'...Yup, that matches my idea of a masochist.
That's all I've got today folks. ^///^ I slept all day, felt sick when I got up, and don't have any intention of doing anything worthwhile for the remainder of my waking hours.
I also made breakfast for my bf and his parents, and they got to see my house. I'm really nervous about that and want to hear from him what their impressions were, but I haven't really been able to ask yet because he's been in a car with them every time I've spoken with him so far. Hopefully tomorrow he'll tell me. And not be vague. Mom feels bad for not getting up and greeting them herself, but she knows that at least one of them doesn't like her, and didn't want to make it any more awkward than it already was. Yays.
That's all I've got today folks. ^///^ I slept all day, felt sick when I got up, and don't have any intention of doing anything worthwhile for the remainder of my waking hours.
I also made breakfast for my bf and his parents, and they got to see my house. I'm really nervous about that and want to hear from him what their impressions were, but I haven't really been able to ask yet because he's been in a car with them every time I've spoken with him so far. Hopefully tomorrow he'll tell me. And not be vague. Mom feels bad for not getting up and greeting them herself, but she knows that at least one of them doesn't like her, and didn't want to make it any more awkward than it already was. Yays.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Chrismahanikwanza
To not offend anyone. Yes, I was told that. In a card. And found it adorable.
Speaking of adorable, my kitty is so cute, I can barely stop myself from squeezing and hugging and loving on her. >.< Squeee
I find possessive/jealousy to be soooo cute (to a point)!!!
Maya wanted attention tonight, so she kept rubbing herself against my face, chest, arms, and hands. Then she curled up like I was curled up (slightly not, but I'll ignore that and prance in daydreams of love and kitties-Maya in particular) and continued to be adorable. Everytime I reached for the compie (cause I was typing to a freind) she'd shift her position like saying "Okay, that pose didn't work, lets try this one to lure her away." Eventually she gave up, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, and didn't regret not giving her continual attention. I did. She was so cute....but the lure of technology is strong in me. ....well, not as strong as most, but still strong.
Chay was a TOTAL ASS all day. He was cocky, completely immature, overly competitive, and threw hissy fits when I beat him at games. It's no wonder the joy of the game left me and I quit putting much effort in to it near the end. I'm not trying to lessen the worth of his wins against me, but seriously...he's such a bad player....I know I was competitive, but I still said "Good game" even if I didn't mean it. And if a GAME SYSTEM lets you do the move, and you didn't put in a cheat code, IT IS NOT CHEATING!!!!!! Phew. that was my rant about that.
The presents I recieved were really good. I appreciated them. I really just wanted contacts though....*sigh* But, at least Mom tried to get them for me. You need a prescription to fit them for your eyes, apparently. I understand, I do, I just really had my heart set on them. Oh well. I did get the socks I wanted though. I got alot of Chocolate too.....If I didn't know better, I'd think they were trying to make me gain the pounds I've lost recently. ....Their evil plot worked, too!!! I've eaten so much chocolate the past few days.....-_-....I'm gonna be playing our new Wii game's fit and active games as much as possible until I go back home.
On a happy note, my bf is coming tomorrow/today!!! I finished mopping, but now I wanna clean my room 'cause bf wants to see it. >.< Nooooo.
Quote of the Day: "Did you just say something blasphemous?" - "..?..I said there may be too much cheese in this mac'n'cheese." - *GASP* - "That's BLASPHEMOUS!!!"
....Lame, but amusing to me.....
Speaking of adorable, my kitty is so cute, I can barely stop myself from squeezing and hugging and loving on her. >.< Squeee
I find possessive/jealousy to be soooo cute (to a point)!!!
Maya wanted attention tonight, so she kept rubbing herself against my face, chest, arms, and hands. Then she curled up like I was curled up (slightly not, but I'll ignore that and prance in daydreams of love and kitties-Maya in particular) and continued to be adorable. Everytime I reached for the compie (cause I was typing to a freind) she'd shift her position like saying "Okay, that pose didn't work, lets try this one to lure her away." Eventually she gave up, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, and didn't regret not giving her continual attention. I did. She was so cute....but the lure of technology is strong in me. ....well, not as strong as most, but still strong.
Chay was a TOTAL ASS all day. He was cocky, completely immature, overly competitive, and threw hissy fits when I beat him at games. It's no wonder the joy of the game left me and I quit putting much effort in to it near the end. I'm not trying to lessen the worth of his wins against me, but seriously...he's such a bad player....I know I was competitive, but I still said "Good game" even if I didn't mean it. And if a GAME SYSTEM lets you do the move, and you didn't put in a cheat code, IT IS NOT CHEATING!!!!!! Phew. that was my rant about that.
The presents I recieved were really good. I appreciated them. I really just wanted contacts though....*sigh* But, at least Mom tried to get them for me. You need a prescription to fit them for your eyes, apparently. I understand, I do, I just really had my heart set on them. Oh well. I did get the socks I wanted though. I got alot of Chocolate too.....If I didn't know better, I'd think they were trying to make me gain the pounds I've lost recently. ....Their evil plot worked, too!!! I've eaten so much chocolate the past few days.....-_-....I'm gonna be playing our new Wii game's fit and active games as much as possible until I go back home.
On a happy note, my bf is coming tomorrow/today!!! I finished mopping, but now I wanna clean my room 'cause bf wants to see it. >.< Nooooo.
Quote of the Day: "Did you just say something blasphemous?" - "..?..I said there may be too much cheese in this mac'n'cheese." - *GASP* - "That's BLASPHEMOUS!!!"
....Lame, but amusing to me.....
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Kitty love
I'm so relieved!! This is what happened:
Innocently rubbing Maya, my hand brushes across something bulgy between her shoulder blades. For a moment, I just sit there. Then chills run along my arms and back, and I know. It's a tick. I kiss her on the forehead, murmuring "Good girl, Maya, good..." and search her fur, trying to see it. The sickly white bulge, with brown legs sends chills anew throughout my body. I hate ticks....
I had been talking with E online, and I sent him an IM, "What do I doooo? She's got a tick!!!" His reply? "Take some rubbing alcohol and tweezers, fill a cap with alcohol, and put the tick in it. Make it pay for what it's done."
I search out tweezers, call Maya into the bathroom, and shut the door. Maya turns on her back, playing with the doors, as is her usual routine with shut doors. I fill the cap, and sit down on the floor with Maya. She guilelessly comes and rubs along me. Taking the tweezers and our relationship in my hand, I start my search for all horrid creatures on my dear love. She doesn't like it, but she never stops purring, which confuses me. I talk to her, hoping she'll not panic. She then laid down and moved this way and that, as I need her to. The only times I get attacked are when I'm messing with her underarms, and even then there's no attacks if I hold her. Getting all ticks and bugs off, I hold her, telling her what a good job she's done, how I'm proud. Then I open the door, and set her down, expecting her to run from me. I softly tell her "I love you, you did a good job Maya." and I turn away. I start to attack the huge tick that dared attack my Maya.
How COULD you attack her? This is what you get for hurting my Maya! Take this! HA! I bet that would hurt if you were still alive! What's with your color? You look diseased! Gross! You don't deserve Maya's blood!
I hear Maya's bell, and turn. She's settled down beside the door, patiently waiting for me. Tears spring to my eyes. I thought for sure she'd hate me for putting her through that. I go to return the tweezers to my mother, and tell her about it. "It's because she trusts you." I'm so incredibly relieved that Maya still likes me. I make my way back to my room, and call for her. Only once though, since I don't want to make her come if she doesn't want to. Then I thank E for his advice. As I'm talking to E, Maya springs to the bed and rubs on me, telling me she wants attention. I hurry a quick "by by" to E, and close my laptop.
I scratch along Maya's body, all over, everywhere she wants me to. She purrs and murmurs, and eventually just lays still, in bliss. She was so adorable, all sprawled out like that. After awhile, I get some water, we return to bed, and we fall asleep with her curled up beside my head.
>.<>.<
Innocently rubbing Maya, my hand brushes across something bulgy between her shoulder blades. For a moment, I just sit there. Then chills run along my arms and back, and I know. It's a tick. I kiss her on the forehead, murmuring "Good girl, Maya, good..." and search her fur, trying to see it. The sickly white bulge, with brown legs sends chills anew throughout my body. I hate ticks....
I had been talking with E online, and I sent him an IM, "What do I doooo? She's got a tick!!!" His reply? "Take some rubbing alcohol and tweezers, fill a cap with alcohol, and put the tick in it. Make it pay for what it's done."
I search out tweezers, call Maya into the bathroom, and shut the door. Maya turns on her back, playing with the doors, as is her usual routine with shut doors. I fill the cap, and sit down on the floor with Maya. She guilelessly comes and rubs along me. Taking the tweezers and our relationship in my hand, I start my search for all horrid creatures on my dear love. She doesn't like it, but she never stops purring, which confuses me. I talk to her, hoping she'll not panic. She then laid down and moved this way and that, as I need her to. The only times I get attacked are when I'm messing with her underarms, and even then there's no attacks if I hold her. Getting all ticks and bugs off, I hold her, telling her what a good job she's done, how I'm proud. Then I open the door, and set her down, expecting her to run from me. I softly tell her "I love you, you did a good job Maya." and I turn away. I start to attack the huge tick that dared attack my Maya.
How COULD you attack her? This is what you get for hurting my Maya! Take this! HA! I bet that would hurt if you were still alive! What's with your color? You look diseased! Gross! You don't deserve Maya's blood!
I hear Maya's bell, and turn. She's settled down beside the door, patiently waiting for me. Tears spring to my eyes. I thought for sure she'd hate me for putting her through that. I go to return the tweezers to my mother, and tell her about it. "It's because she trusts you." I'm so incredibly relieved that Maya still likes me. I make my way back to my room, and call for her. Only once though, since I don't want to make her come if she doesn't want to. Then I thank E for his advice. As I'm talking to E, Maya springs to the bed and rubs on me, telling me she wants attention. I hurry a quick "by by" to E, and close my laptop.
I scratch along Maya's body, all over, everywhere she wants me to. She purrs and murmurs, and eventually just lays still, in bliss. She was so adorable, all sprawled out like that. After awhile, I get some water, we return to bed, and we fall asleep with her curled up beside my head.
>.<>.<
Sunday, December 21, 2008
This day...
1.Got up at 10, after going to bed past 4
2.Was late meeting Sarah, because Mom had to talk to Papa for too long.
3.Saw Dark Knight for the third time, and ate popcorn that made me sick and left a butter stain on my pants.
4.Went to eat at AppleBees after looking at a Pet Store for Kitty Stockings and failing.
5.Went back with S. to her house where I chatted with her dad and her while my mom came to get me
6.Got $90 dollars from them in Gift Cards for the Holidays. -_-...I feel wrong about it....
7.Got a happy meal for Chay on the way home
8.Talked to C on the way home, decided we'd prolly meet up next week.
9.K called me while I was at home moving things, and wants to meet up with me as well.
10.Got my room cleaned up, but was watching a movie mom interrupted to tell me we're having CHILLI instead of a REAL dinner for Christmas. SHE PROMISED ME HAAAAM
11.Talked to my love.-Happiness
12.Was made to fold laundry when Mom volunteered to do the laundry. She proceeded to dis me to Ninny about my incompetence. ME! When I was totally okay doing my own laundry!!!
13.Will be able to meet up with bf after Christmas. It'll be the first time ever that we can meet during a break from school. I'm nervous, excited, and happy. Worried about the state of my house and who'll be here when they come, but still....it'll be worth it, I'm sure~!
14.Had to cook Mom and Ninny their dinner because they weren't willing to do it themselves.
15.Have decided that DDR will be a stress relief, and needs to be done daily.
16.Talked with TJ, and we're meeting on Christmas Eve. Someone save me from all the peeps I'm meeting up with....
17.Pissed Mom off about her having to run to do things. (Didn't ever even mention that K wanted to meet up too.
18.I want her to stop being mean to me!!!!
Yeah, that's my day. *sigh*
Quote of the Day: "It's not working. Let's KILL IT!!"-"Hey! I just STARTED begging."
2.Was late meeting Sarah, because Mom had to talk to Papa for too long.
3.Saw Dark Knight for the third time, and ate popcorn that made me sick and left a butter stain on my pants.
4.Went to eat at AppleBees after looking at a Pet Store for Kitty Stockings and failing.
5.Went back with S. to her house where I chatted with her dad and her while my mom came to get me
6.Got $90 dollars from them in Gift Cards for the Holidays. -_-...I feel wrong about it....
7.Got a happy meal for Chay on the way home
8.Talked to C on the way home, decided we'd prolly meet up next week.
9.K called me while I was at home moving things, and wants to meet up with me as well.
10.Got my room cleaned up, but was watching a movie mom interrupted to tell me we're having CHILLI instead of a REAL dinner for Christmas. SHE PROMISED ME HAAAAM
11.Talked to my love.-Happiness
12.Was made to fold laundry when Mom volunteered to do the laundry. She proceeded to dis me to Ninny about my incompetence. ME! When I was totally okay doing my own laundry!!!
13.Will be able to meet up with bf after Christmas. It'll be the first time ever that we can meet during a break from school. I'm nervous, excited, and happy. Worried about the state of my house and who'll be here when they come, but still....it'll be worth it, I'm sure~!
14.Had to cook Mom and Ninny their dinner because they weren't willing to do it themselves.
15.Have decided that DDR will be a stress relief, and needs to be done daily.
16.Talked with TJ, and we're meeting on Christmas Eve. Someone save me from all the peeps I'm meeting up with....
17.Pissed Mom off about her having to run to do things. (Didn't ever even mention that K wanted to meet up too.
18.I want her to stop being mean to me!!!!
Yeah, that's my day. *sigh*
Quote of the Day: "It's not working. Let's KILL IT!!"-"Hey! I just STARTED begging."
Kitty Cats.....Dates....No Monies.....
http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=572
Yeah...life's too busy for me to type much right now. Sorry. Basically though:
-Every night I've had to wrap tons of gifts that aren't mine,
-Every Day I've had to clean houses that aren't mine,
-I can't seem to get up with anybody but S, .....S is good.
-BF is taking another road trip. I don't know why they can't seem to calm down. But I guess they get bored
-New fanfiction is lacking
-A few chapters of some of my manga have come in, me likey
-I've run out of money.....*cry*
Quote of the Day: "Your little kitty more or less gets to have you for a pet.....your cat gets to have way too much fun with you...."
Yeah...life's too busy for me to type much right now. Sorry. Basically though:
-Every night I've had to wrap tons of gifts that aren't mine,
-Every Day I've had to clean houses that aren't mine,
-I can't seem to get up with anybody but S, .....S is good.
-BF is taking another road trip. I don't know why they can't seem to calm down. But I guess they get bored
-New fanfiction is lacking
-A few chapters of some of my manga have come in, me likey
-I've run out of money.....*cry*
Quote of the Day: "Your little kitty more or less gets to have you for a pet.....your cat gets to have way too much fun with you...."
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