Our first day with MJ

started off rather badly. I was exhausted before the little even got here, and I had to meet her by myself. Then, she kept using words and phrases that didn't make sense so I had to keep asking what things meant. Like, 'ratchet' means 'looks bad', apparently.
So after I picked her up, we realized we were both hungry, and chose to eat at Denny's (because Hubby doesn't like Dennys, so it was a treat for us). It took a surprisingly long amount of time to order, eat, and pay. During that time, Cin called, and I had to pretend it was someone else. Since then, I've asked Kris if I can pretend that Cin is Kris so that the conversation isn't strange, and she said yes, so it'll be easier next time. I couldn't say 'i love you,' or 'i miss you,' because she was 'just a friend' when MJ asked.
That's another thing. Hubby asked what name she wanted us to use, and she said 'MJ'...... It's so strange and difficult for me. She doesn't really seem to care that I'm not calling her that, and it doesn't seem like Hubby calling her 'MJ' like she asked makes her warm up to him any quicker, but it is what she wants to be called. Ever since I realized that she wanted that because MJ can stand for Michael Jackson (who she's a fangirl for), it's even harder to use.
I think part of it is her own body image. She wants to be cute and girly and pretty, but thinks she's ugly, so she'd rather be boyish and 'cool'. I think it's sad for her to give up on the cutie honey side of her, so I'm even less tempted to call her MJ than I was before I realized the whole fangirl thing. I want her to understand that she is not overweight, she is not ugly, and she can be adorable and cute if she wants to. It's a huge, difficult issue, but I'm game to try.
So anyway, back to our day. By the time we finished at Denny's, it was nearly time for Hubby to get off work, so we picked him up before heading to the medicaid office. The medicaid office took....an hour and a half, easy. All for ten minutes worth of meeting and talking about requirements/documents they need.
Hubby just uploaded all the documents they need, so we should be getting a call on Monday, then getting an appointment and going in on Monday or Tuesday.
After the medicaid office, we went home, helped her unpack, and decided we were hungry, so we went to eat before going to Walmart to pick up the stuff she needed. While we had dinner, we explained the rules of the house and her chores to her. After dinner, we went to Walmart, and she and I went to pick out new bras for her budding womanhoods. She calls my breasts peaches.... It's a little weird. They're more like melons, after all. Hers are like....grapes. If we're continuing the fruit metaphor. *shrug* Ah, it was funny! In the pool, my breasts float, right? So she discreetly tried to signal that my breasts were coming out (and utterly failed) so she had to tell me, and I was like 'Oh, no, honey. I have a looooot more contained. They're secure.' and she was like '......oh.' Reb was laughing at us, because we were in the hot tub (Which is small) so he couldn't help overhearing.
So yeah, we picked up the stuff she needed at Walmart (expeeeeensive child!), came home, and skyped my family. They were weird. Like, just staring at us with creepy happy expressions and not talking. So MJ got to eat her cheesecake while she talked to them, then she got in the shower, and went to bed. I kissed her forehead, tucked her in, and turned on this ocean night light that is a picture of the ocean with a wave coming in (it also has sound, but I turned it off and didn't tell her it did). She really liked it.
Yesterday I felt frustrated the whole day, trying to keep up with her chatter, and her slang, and her fly-by insults, but today was a lot better. I think it started with me getting enough sleep, and continued with me going to work (thereby getting some time away from her, in a good way), so when we met up after work, she'd gotten a lot of her exuberance out, and was easier to talk to. Hubby said she was easy as pie to take care of once he got her to the bookstore. He said she picked out a book and just read the whole time.
We had dinner today, and talked about our days, then went home, and she showed me her swim suit (she has three, but I'm not sure one is appropriate, so she's not wearing it, and she doesn't like the one-piece, so....Pink and blue it is!) and we talked about puberty and boys and periods before going swimming. She had a few misconceptions about it, and has a very vehement opinion that boys and men are different. It feels like 'boys are safe' and 'men are dangerous' so I'm not really discouraging that idea just yet. I feel a little sorry for Hubby, since she tries to keep a distance from him, but she also really seems to respect him, and glances at him a lot when he's not looking. I think she's a little fascinated. I've told her a few times that because he's mine, he's safe. I think it's sinking in, because (though it was awkward) she hugged him goodnight tonight.
She also thought that women that wore bras just had breasts that were naturally sticking out like Ps. I had a good laugh at that, and told her it isn't true. I had to explain that all breasts sag over time, and we talked about her mom's, her grandma's, mine, and hers, to illustrate the difference, because she's seen all of us without bras on. She said Nana's breasts sagged to her belly button (yes, I laughed).
After we got out of the pool (we stayed in a LOT longer than I expected us to), we gave her ten minutes to shower if she wanted to eat (she got hungry) and she not only managed to shower, she managed to shave her armpits for the first time!! I taught her how last night, because she's getting brown hair down there, and getting body odor, so it's time for her to. She wants to shave her legs, but I haven't taught her yet. Knees and ankles are tricky, so I'm not sure how to go about it. Yeah, the hair on her knees are brown, but it isn't that noticeable yet. I'll still probably go ahead and teach her.
I'm having a lot of trouble keeping all of her medicines straight. She has five different ones, with multiple 'dosage' times. If I just write it all out, I'm sure I can get it all down. We forgot her medicine.....twice today. *sigh* But we managed to fix it. We're essentially carrying her inhaler everywhere, and applying the ear drops whenever she complains about it (which isn't often).
She eats whatever we get her, so that isn't an issue. We still need to ask her about what comforter she'd like. Annoyingly, Mom sent her a whole bedspread set the day AFTER we told her our friends would get MJ a pretty comforter to celebrate her coming to us.
Today, my back has been hurting a lot since I did three thais, and after we went swimming, I bent down to touch my toes and just let my torso hang for a few minutes. It was uncomfortable, but I felt like it should help. Lo and behold, I felt a vertebrae pop (it was strange) and the aching pain in my back disappeared when I stood upright again. I can't really believe I had a vertebrae twist like that on me (or whatever it did), and even more, that I fixed it myself.
Interestingly, one of the first things I did when she went to bed that first night, was put a password on my computer so it can't be accessed easily. .....And hubby just asked for the password. Lol. I really hope MJ isn't awake to hear that....
Now I've just made our snacks for tomorrow. I feel like having her here is really putting me into a 'must have healthy snacks, and decently healthy meals' mode, because she so obviously watches what I eat. For example, our snacks tomorrow (her and mine, since we're going to work/daycare) are one container of apples with peanut butter (mine) or salted caramel (hers), and one container of carrots, tomatoes, and crackers with ranch dip. Those should get us through to dinner, when we'll have chicken and dumplings, using chicken drumsticks, LOOOOTS of veggies (green beans, carrots, corn, peas), and rice cake slices. Her dessert is probably going to be the rest of the cheesecake, and maaaaaybe some peanut butter cookies if she helps make them/we have the time/we feel like it.
Alrighty then. I think I've brought you more or less up to date, so we're gonna get in bed before it gets much later (it's already 1 a.m. so....). Love you, and thanks so much for the support! Goodnight!


I like this song, and think it's a good (the clean version on the radio) song for MJ to hear.
http://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk

Now that the excitement has faded....

The worry has set in. She'll be here Friday morning (they certainly aren't wasting any time). From then on we will have a constant little observer, watching, listening, learning from everything we do! I can't be as lazy as I like to be. She'll think it's okay to be lazy. I can't have as many snacks as I like to. She'll also think snacks are good all the time. I can't reward behaviors with sweets and treats (like I was) because we've discovered that's a very horrible mindset that is nearly impossible to get out of. All these thoughts! They keep going in and out and around and above my head!



I got a pedicure yesterday! He got all the scratchy calluses off. The strange bumpy things are still there but they aren't as obvious. I don't like the color I picked out on me as much as I liked it in the bottle. And I was very uncomfortable with a man working on my feet, though it doesn't bother me when it's just a guy massaging my feet. I felt really bad that he was working so hard and likely wasn't getting paid all the money I was paying (which honestly, wasn't nearly as expensive as my mom's pedicures are and he didn't hurt me like she does) so I gave him a 10 dollar tip. Part of the tip was an apology for reading a book and basically ignoring him the whole time. Even with the tip, it didn't cost as much as my Mom charges people. I added some cute stickers to the top with like black flowers, white swirling patterns, and white 'wings' to make it a little cuter. I like it way more now than I did when it was plain.

I'm so very exhausted! I worked straight through til I got off today! I didn't get a real lunch break, though there was a nice little thirty minute break because someone only wanted a twenty minute chair massage. She was there for big brothers big sisters, and her 'little sister' wanted a spa treatment. She said they'd definitely be back. It was interesting, because they obviously weren't blood related, so I thought maybe the girl was adopted. Lol.

The kitty has completely adapted to my whims. Oh, speaking of the kitty, I think we've figured out why she keeps refusing to use her litterbox. It was infested with tiny little bugs that I think were mites! If something were biting my ass/legs/feet while I tried to take a doodoo I'd refuse to use it too! Hopefully we took care of that with a thorough cleaning, but I'm still considering going to the vet to get some kind of repellant to keep it from happening again.

Man my wrists hurt, but I really wanted to blog and communicate with you people. ;) I'm tapping my feet to the music I'm listening to, coincidentally (coughcough) tapping Maya repeatedly so that she looks like she's bobbing and tapping to the music as well. It's really cute! Whoops. She spotted a bug.

One of my kouhai (a person that started after me, and is therefore under my care) seems to be a little overworked. So I offered her one of my dinners (I was content smelling it, so I'll know to get it next time because it was good; I try to keep a few food options at work so I don't end up collapsing), essentially forced her to eat it, then stuck her in a relaxing hand and foot massage with no mercy. This had the unexpected result of her being unbelievably guilt-ridden about all the care I have given to her, so to make her feel better, I told her to give me a facial massage. Then she wanted constructive feedback. Damnit. lol. If that's my only problem, I'm a lucky chicka.

OMGOSH!!! WE'RE GETTING A CHILD IN 5-6 DAYS!!!! Sorry. It keeps hitting at random times. I informed work that we were getting her, and mentioned that I may have to tinker with my hours so that I can pick her up from school. The owner said that they were considering hiring someone for mornings, but maybe I could take them over instead. That could be good, but I think it could be bad if no one shows. So I'm hoping I can talk to them about making my hours more like 10-2, and then 4:30-8 to get a bit of the rush hour and a bit of the morning that needs filling. Oh. Hubby just suggested he pick her up, since he makes less and can tell his boss what hours he can work.

Also, there's a Wednesday shift that's open, that they thought was mine because I agreed to take it for two weeks. So I offered to take it full-time both because it's more hours, and because having two days off in a row actually makes going back to work harder. It gives my hands more time to heal, but it also makes it more painful to start back at work after those days off. Also, on a very small level, I've realized that when I'm at work, I don't overeat even NEARLY as much as I do at home, and if I continue substituting my snacks for healthy things like celery and apples and carrots and snow-peas, I think it's inevitable that I will lose weight in a slow but steady manner.

I've noticed lately that regular brownies and ice cream and cake actually make me sick to my stomach after not having them for a few days. This generally means that either I'm allergic to something in them, or that they're actually (duh) just not good for you period, and should really be phased out of my diet anyway.

Hubby is listening to Jersey Boys in anticipation of us going to see the movie soon. I really wanna see the Fluffy movie. :( We were going to, but arrived at the wrong theater and didn't have time to find the right one, so we saw the Grand Budapest Hotel instead. It was a surprisingly crude and blunt story with surprisingly attractive and interesting characters and a humor that I didn't realize I liked.

Okay, sleep time now. Thanks for reading, Good night!

This is what showed up when I typed in 'Walk like a man AMV'.......

WE AQUIRED A MIMI-MON!!

Or in normal human speak, the people in court finally said 'We're really sick of this case, please, just give the kid to that possibly crazy family that really seems to want her.' We will soon be the proud(?) parents of a crazy ten-year-old little girl!! YAY!!
In ironic news, I received my psychological evaluation today, and the Doctor found nothing wrong with my responses or my history to prevent me from raising the Mimi. She said I showed a history of seeking help when I felt I needed it, and that was the important part. She also said that if anyone were suited and qualified to raise this littlin, it would be me! Then we proceeded to talk shop (or rather, talk about what services could assist us in raising our little hellion) for 40 minutes to an hour.
When I left her, I felt really relieved and really celebratory, so when I picked Hubby up from work, I wanted deep dish pizza (Jet's Pizza, you should try it. Seriously.). We got ourselves a nice sized meal, shared a soda (that I wasn't interested in), and went to Costco. While shopping at Costco my Mom called, tickled pink, and told us they gave the hellion to us.
We checked out of the store, and on the way home, I cried because I was so happy, so relieved, and..... I don't know, I felt released. Like, finally, we can really prepare because we know what's going to happen. I'm so very happy and nervous and worried and relieved and it's all jumbled inside of me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. So yay, we're gonna be parents!!

On a completely different note, I went to store called 'My fit foods' today. A worker showed me around and it's essentially like a quick shop convenience meal store that only carries foods that are good for you. It has different labels and it counts the calories for you, and separates 'typical male portion' from 'typical female portion' (which they don't force you to buy, but it's a great option) as well as snacks and other things like healthy drinks. The prices are NOT cheap, but they're also NOT expensive. It ranges from about $5-14 dollars per meal. The more expensive meal also has more food, so the prices make sense. Even if we don't eat there often, their meal plans/ideas are good fodder for my own meal ideas.
While I was there, I mentioned that I work right down the road as a massage therapist, and they asked if we had any cards we could put up on their community board for healthy lifestyles. I only had one on me, so I went to my job and picked up a few things to post on the board before I went to my psych eval.

I think tomorrow I will be getting a phone call from the social worker and we'll start ironing out the details of when to expect our little one, as well as what I need to know to prepare her personal medical health team.
After that, Hubby has an interview, and I will be getting a pedicure SOME TIME that day, if not Friday morning. Then I'm dropping off some black bean brownies (that are awesome, even if I used a bit too much salt) to a friend before going to tutor my coworker in Japanese again.

I think Hubby and I might go see a movie as well. Kind of a relaxed date, you know? Oops! Pineapples just got home and we're gonna skype now, so I'll go. That's pretty much all the good news anyway! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!! From this point onward, we will forever be parents! So scary, and so exciting!

Completely unrelated:

Hm Hm... I've pestered Hubby to post but didn't post myself, so...

As I promised him, I am now posting. The topic is a little dreary though, and something that I post about occasionally. My weight (cue sigh of boredom from the masses).
So according to a health calculator, I am 100 lbs overweight. When my sister was this weight, I'm pretty sure she was wearing 22-24, but I'm still wearing a size 18. I have noticed increased back rolls, but it's not such a difference that I could point at it and be like "YOU! You are where the weight has gone!" Maybe it actually all went to my breasts. They're kinda huge now. I got resized (haven't done it properly since high school) and my breasts are literally larger than my head. Other spots that I've noticed are larger.... my stomach is definitely rounder and fuller. My thighs may be a little plumper. My forearms, calves, feet and hands are still delicate and small, but my upper arms are maybe a little? flabbier? Not much though, cause I've been working so much. Maybe it all accumulated in my ass. I can't see it after all, so I wouldn't know if it was getting bigger.

I certainly feel heavy, but I don't feel THAT heavy. I do know this much weight isn't healthy though, and maybe that's why my feet hurt so much so often. My sister certainly always complains about her feet. Speaking of, I should really get a pedicure so I can use my feet to massage people. They're WAY too callused and hard right now to use without socks on.

Hubby is also a little confused by my weight gain. As he has noticed, we don't eat very differently. I may eat more sweets, but I also eat more veggies where he eats more meat. And it's not like I eat sweets ALL the time. I've actually begun eating veggies in between massages to kind of manage my weight a little more (I also rarely have time to eat much of anything at work).

I'm beginning to seriously consider doing the Paleo diet. It's supposed to reroute your body's digestive pathways so that you are digesting the fats and sugars as they enter your body instead of storing them for 'later use' and it's a little hard to explain because I'm not sure I fully understand it myself. Essentially you eat like a hunter/gatherer for a month to 'reset' your body. So only meats and veggies and fruits. Nothing processed, and nothing 'unnatural'. It's supposed to be a hand-size of meat at each meal (Which is where I balked originally), and a fist-size serving of fruits and veggies whenever else (and at meals, essentially when you're hungry) and a handful of nuts for a good snack. I'm seriously considering it. Seems like it would get boring quickly though.

Hmmmm what else.... Court is (yet again) this Wednesday. Ironically, so is my scheduled Psych Eval. I'm not currently particularly nervous about either, but my sisters and mom ARE, so the nervousness is beginning to infect me a little. Only a little though. Court rarely actually seems to get anything done, so I'm slowly becoming acclimated to the inevitable 'Let's wait and see how ______ turns out' they've been doing for the last....uh. In regards to us: 9 months, and in regards to the whole situation: 2 1/2 years. Hm. 9 months. That's about the time it would take to get a baby the natural way. Maybe this court date will be our placebo due-date and the baby will finally be sent to us via the stork (social worker).

I am now teaching Japanese to one of the receptionists at my job for $40 for 2 hours (1 hour 2 days a week) each week. We've just had our first lesson today, and though I worry that I ramble a bit too much, it's also shown me just how much Japanese history, culture, language, and relations I have actually learned over the years. I impressed myself with my knowledge, but I don't want to overwhelm her, so I'm going to separate her lessons into 1 hour of reading and writing, and one hour of speaking/listening each week. I felt that was the best, most useful way I was taught. Her writing is really clumsy right now, but I think it's very cute and shows where she needs to work to make progress.

Okay, Hubby is waiting to sleep until I get this written, so I'm just going to find a song and then go to bed. This song is stuck in my head, and I have to admit to liking the sentiment. I can't hate a good revenge song (especially one that doesn't make use of innocent bystanders).

Thunder and Lightning

Mimi's favorite colors are neon pink, green, purple, and blue. All neons. Damn. We're fucked.
On another note, I haven't blogged lately because I've been working non-stop lately. I've worked Sun-Tues-Wed-(Was supposed to have Thurs off, but they needed me to come in)Thurs-Fri-Sat-Sun..... I will throw a fit if they ask me to work on Monday. I will not work again on a Wednesday because the clean-up is AWFUL (I had to have hubby help me, it was so annoying), and Thursdays really aren't so bad, except that then I have to work for the next three days straight.
Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad except that Hubby worked in the mornings on some of those days, and I work in the afternoon, so I'm dragged out of bed waaaaaay before I'm ready so he can go to work, then have to sit around for hooooours, before I can go to work myself and by then, I'm already so close to being tired that the first massage makes me sleepy. By the third or fourth? I'm like (Z_Z). I have recently learned that yes, you can massage while sleeping, because yes, I've done it. Not for long periods of time, but just for short bursts that give me energy back.
I also stay hungry. All the energy I eat goes into the massage I give, so I'm generally hungry after each massage. It's gotten a little better, by which I mean I'm halfway into my second massage when I get hungry now, but in a few ways, that's even worse.
All this does not mean I do not like my job. On the contrary, I like it quite well, especially when I don't have to work with a few people that I don't particularly feel fond of. I like most of my clients (though I've had a few cases where I really wished they would tip better), and I don't mind the hours.
Hubby has been getting ridiculously cute lately. We were in the store shopping, and we heard a little girl crying 'Mommmmy!! Mooooomy! Mommmmmyyyyyy' and I found it amusing. Hubby looked at me and said 'THAT is what you want! I don't understand how you can want that!!' and I laughed. 'I do want that. So I can teach that not to cry like that.' I responded.
Ow. Typing hurts. I'm going to stop now, even though there's a lot more I wanted to say. Sorry. >___<

This summer has been rather..... mild.

Not to say it hasn't been hot, just that it hasn't been mind-meltingly hot. It's staying in the 90s, but not going over that too much, and there's been a LOT of cloudy/rainy days.
Hubby and I work really close by each other, so lately I've been trying to get a bit of exercise by dropping the car off at his work and walking to mine. I've also been going in the sauna as often as I can, but that isn't that much. It seems to make me sick to my stomach sometimes, and the next day, it often feels like my bones are softer. It's probably all in my head, but I like the way it softens my skin, and I like the way it cleans out my pores (because I have rivulets of sweat dripping by the end).
Work has been rather slow as well. I get maybe 1-4 clients, working 5-8 hours a day. In general you want at least 5-8 clients in that many hours, and possibly up to 18 clients (that's never happened, that would be incredibly intense, holy cow). I don't mind it being slow, but I do mind that my rate will drop significantly, and I will essentially be earning around $300 for two weeks of work. We can't live on that!!
I think I'm getting steadily more blunt/cruel as time goes on. I'm not pulling my punches(opinions) as much as I used to, and I'm not sure it's a good direction for me to continue in. I feel like I also can't make small-talk very well anymore either. These should be goals to work towards, I suppose. I just don't like the fake feel of them. But then, I also don't like the feeling that my thoughts hurt others so easily. So I'll have to think on it more.

This video is surprisingly humorous.


And this video is one I think a few of you would REALLY enjoy if you haven't already seen it.

I'm a patient person.... I can wait.... I'm a patient person...

Who am I kidding? I'm only patient when I'm plotting revenge and waiting for it to come to fruition. Uggggh. I'm sitting here waiting to hear from ANYONE as to what happened in court today. Considering no one has contacted me, I think the case was continued to tomorrow. Still, I wish someone would TELL me. This involves the rest of our lives!
Hubby and I had an interesting conversation the other day, about what we'd do if Mimi refused to go out on her own into the world. Hubby said he'd get a restraining order. That kinda halted me. I couldn't believe I had married someone willing to do that. Thankfully, it turned out that he was bluffing. My suggestion was to make living with us (if she's like 21 and slacking) nearly unbearable with all the chores and restrictions so she realizes living on her own is the best option. I mean, it's a little passive-aggressive, but it's also legal and ethical. And leaves her the option of coming home to visit later. Just no good reason to try to come live with us.
Work wants me to be available tomorrow earlier than I had planned to come in. It's surprisingly busy, considering I had six hours of work yesterday, and only did an hour and forty minutes worth of work. I don't mind, since I'll be nearby anyway, and it might help me get my hours up. The owner called today to discuss how I'd taken most of yesterday 'on call' and how I'd lost money doing that. I don't think I really lost money, not if I'm busy for the rest of the week, but it's true that looking at that single day, I lost about 30 dollars. My argument was that I didn't feel I deserved to be on the clock, even if I'm there, when I'm just reading a book. She got quiet and said 'That's a good point.' She said they're trying to think of things for us to do to keep us busy when we're slow like that, but they're still working on it. She didn't catch me at my best.
I've been trying to sleep most of the day since I stayed up til 6 (couldn't sleep). It hasn't been very successful. I was called by the psychological assessment place about my insurance. I gave them the wrong group number, so they needed the other one. I was texted by a few people. And just in general, it's been hard to get to sleep because I keep thinking about what may be going on in court. It's going on 6 o'clock there, so court should be over already, but mom turned her phone off, which implies she's in the court room right now. Oh I hope things go well. Like I said on facebook, I'm not hoping for a quick resolution, just one that eventually ends in our favor.
Hubby leaves for his interview this weekend. It's going to be so weird without him. I kinda wanna look up stuff on 'if he gets the job' but I'm scared I'll jinx it. He's really done well with his prep work, and presentation so far. I'm pretty sure he'll ace the interview with all of his hard work. I just don't want to do something to hurt his chances.
I'm so nervous!! Auuuugh!! Call meeeeeee!! What's going onnnnnn!! It's now 6:15 now, and Mom just called me back. Okaaaay. They almost threw her out of court because I called her while they were in there. In my defense, I thought court cases ended at 5, and I called at 5:20 (their time). Also, as hubby said, Mom didn't call me last time, despite her promise to, so I got impatient and called her this time. When I talked to her, she was crying and very upset. All she told me was that they're court-ordering a psychological assessment, and they'll meet again in a month's time to review the results. This has the added benefit of giving us time to know if Hubby gets the job, and if we'll be moving, and things like that. I don't mind getting a psych eval, especially if they'll pay for it. Since it's been ordered, they should. Hopefully they'll even provide the person doing it, so I can just cancel my current plans. I don't wanna spend $600+ on it.
Well, Mom was crying and rather unintelligible, so that's all I know right now. She'll call me later when she calms down. I'm pretty disappointed that I got so impatient as to call during court, but I wish they'd stop meeting about our case at the worst times. They either make it one of the last cases of the day, or the one right before lunch, so everyone's in a rush to get through with it and doesn't give it the time and consideration it deserves. I feel bad that Mom was crying so much though. It makes me think other stuff happened too, and that makes me worried. Well, there's nothing to be done about it now. *sigh*

This is an interesting take on this song. I kinda liked it. :)