Moving moving mooooooving~!

This child is scary as shit. She told her mom 'I want you to read those letters and take every word into your heart' and I was like 'Ohhhhh shiiiiiit'. Okay, and now she just said she likes being a big sister because 'We share the same joy and the same pain. And I like sharing emotions because we're family and we understand each other.' I just..... *shakes head* She is dramatic and ridiculous and I don't even have any idea whether to nurture that or try to temper it.
Arranged to get someone to pick up our extra furniture tomorrow. Ran around getting things together to leave today. First we went to pick up Hubby's bookbag, let MJ say goodbye to her daycare, and got the car inspected. They needed more time to work out why the engine light is on, so Hubby said he'll take it back tomorrow morning. Then we went to County Line BBQ, and the food was good, but not so amazing. Kinda wish we coulda left room for dessert, but the bread was soooo heavy.
After that, I drove us to the Home Depot where we bought a dolly, a padlock (went to see if it fit the trucks, and it did), and some cool forearm straps to carry heavy things with.
After that, we dropped by a thrift shop that just opened, and arranged for them to come pick up our stuff. They were bringing things from San Marcos, so it's a bit out of the way for them to come to our house, but we're within 2 miles of the store, so the lady said it would be fine. At worst we'll dump the couch, and take everything else. But this couch is not going with us.

MJ loves this song:


I am REALLY offended at this song. It's not any better than Blurred Lines, just from the standpoint of a woman taking advantage of a boy instead. It's just as disgusting, and I hate that it's getting popular.


Holy crap. This is Hilary Duff?? I kinda like the blue/gray hair she's got going on, and her body is FABULOUS! Just, wow.

12 days and counting

We're moving on the 29th. It's really sinking in, and I can see the cogs in hubby's head turning and him starting to panic. He looks around and is like 'We're not prepared!!!' and tries to do everything, and get everything ready to go RIGHT NOW.
Now as for me, I'm sitting here going "Whelp, with the size of the truck we've rented, (16 ft) we can take this, and this, and this too. Oh this is gonna be FUN!!''
What we're both panicking about is getting a house set up in advance. It would be the best situation to be able to get a house that we can go directly to, that is under $900 a month, and that our parents can vet for us beforehand, so we're not renting blindly. The other preferences are: A yard, allows cats, in a good school system, with carpeted floors (my preference) or hardwood (Hubby's preference). Besides trying to keep it under a $1000 a month and near Brier Creek, we don't have many requirements. Hubby has a job all set for him in Brier Creek, so that's great. I can find something, for sure. There's a few options I'm keeping an eye on, actually.
I haven't figured out where to mail my license confirmation paper to, so I don't know what the hell I'm going to do to get my license approved. It's driving me crazy. I have an idea or two, but no real plan of action. So frustrating....
On the plus side, our families are doing everything they can to help us out. On the minus side, I had to tell Cin about us moving, and now she's super excited to see us. *rolls eyes* Apparently this weekend is my other niece's birthday. I'm not even sure how old she's turning, but I know MJ is gonna wanna call her. I guess it's fine, I just wish Cin hadn't consulted MJ about it before ME.
MJ and I are preparing for the trip by getting games and music downloaded to my tablet, since her's has broken, and has no real possibility of being fixable. Hubby and I aren't sure if we're going to drive together, or just fix an end point to meet at each day. I'd feel safer if we were together, but I also think we'd get annoyed having to watch out for each other the whole time. We'll prepare for both possibilities and figure it out from there.

I haven't heard from any of the other bloggers (you know who you are) in nearly a month. I'm both worried, and a little upset. I realize life takes priority, and that everyone has things going on that are essential to their livelihood, but a quick ten-minute check-in to reassert that you've thought about me/us/etc. wouldn't be too bad, would it? Yeah, you could say I could always call you if I'm that worried, but I've got a crippling fear of phones. And I *have* messaged you. I feel rejected and abandoned without any responses, and that I'm imposing myself on you, when I don't get an answer. It prevents me from sending further messages, because I hate being thought of as an annoyance. Just.... think about it, ok?

In other news, Hubby has been emailing potential places, and I've been calling them. That's ironic, isn't it? We have a few places set up for my mom to visit tomorrow, and for his parents to possibly visit next week. Hopefully between the two we'll have a place ready for us soon.

I guess that's it.

Exorcising the Ghost

I finally got rid of EVERYTHING dealing with the jerk. Good riddance! I feel like I should feel freer than I do. I don't feel like the shackles are gone yet.

I wrote that over a week ago. Now I can proudly say the shackles are gone, and all I can think about the guy is 'Good riddance'.



This song makes me think of MJ. On the one hand, we ARE a temporary home for her, because she'll eventually grow up and make her own. On the other hand, hopefully we'll be her final 'childhood home'. This reminds me of a bittersweet article I read about becoming a mother. Here's the link (Yes, I looked it up, it's so good): http://www.geekfill.com/2014/06/30/mom-gives-best-explanation-ever-how-life-changes-after-pregnancy-this-is-perfect/
There's a lot of good points in the article, but the one I was actually thinking about was the one that said that you'll wish for more time on this earth, not for yourself, but to watch over your children. I feel that way for sure. I've never valued my life very highly, but I value it more knowing that MJ would be lost without us, and that Hubbikins would be stuck between a rock and a hard place if I weren't here too. I'm not suicidal, but I've never had a strong survival instinct. MJ appears to be the same way. The only solution I can find is to give her things (REALISTIC GOALS) to reach for and achieve. Becoming an idol is too high, because it'll be years and years and she'll lose faith in herself. But something like becoming a good tennis/violin/soccer player is doable because she can check herself against others frequently and see progress. Books were my salvation. I lived to read the next volume, if you know what I mean.
I worry about MJ alot. For the last week or two I've actually been trying to treat her more like a mini-adult, and use manners and lead her in conversations rather than treating her like a child. Apparently that isn't working at all though because she burst out today about how we're so rude and mean to her. *rolls eyes* She just doesn't like being told no, and having things taken away because of misbehavior.

This is Hubby's perspective:

MJ continues to build up her frustrations and then let them out in unproductive ways. Today in particular, she was seriously testing the boundaries. She started off by trying to lie her way out of doing work she knows she is required by us to do every day. When I challenged her on it, she got this disrespectful tone and said "How do you know? You don't spy on me in the back seat." I took out the books from the car and told her to watch her tone. Later on, things seemed to be going fine until she tried to threaten that she wouldn't do her reading because the math and science workout books we have her do are "too much" and that she would compensate for it by basically just skimming over the reading and saying that she completed it when in reality she didn't. Both Runa and I made it clear to her that was not acceptable and that if she really tried to skimp out on the reading, we would give her reading quizzes and such to make sure she did it. Eventually Runa ended it by saying that if she was going to continue to complain about it, then we would increase her page number for math and science from 2 pages each day to 4 pages each day, and that she was complaining about stuff that was taking her an hour at most each day, if that. 

Then, when we got home, she started dragging a bag with her books on the ground, and Runa told her to stop dragging it on the ground. She argued and said that she dropped it. So for the arguing and dragging the bag on the ground (after several warnings and second chances) Runa decided to cancel watching the end of the movie for tonight. Then she started doing it repeatedly on purpose since she thinks that once we remove her reward or whatnot, that she can act however she wants. And I turned around and warned her that if she ever wanted to see the end of the movie, she would stop it immediately. And she made some comment about when did I get so bossy. *rolls eyes* 

And then when she went in the house, she thought it was ok to throw the bag down on the ground. Runa took away the movie for the foreseeable future right then and there. And then she had a meltdown in the kitchen where she said that she was tired of being wrong and always in the wrong. And that everything about her life is wrong, her hair is wrong, etc. So she essentially said that she wants us to let her get away with stuff because she hates feeling like she is in the wrong all the time. She also brought up how she thinks that she has a demon side and that that isn't her and she forgives herself every time she goes to this imaginary world in her heart/mind. And Runa stressed to her that she has to learn to accept the good and bad side of her and control the bad side. She also said she hates her father because of the stuff he supposedly did to her mom and for leaving her at the age of three. Runa sort of minimized it since, while he didn't necessarily do anything for her, she has never met him and it is sort of ridiculous to hate someone based on what someone else has said about him. She made the rather doubtful claim that he has been in jail more than her mother has. She brought up that she was still mad about us taking her too soon because of X/Y/Z. I pretty much said sorry that blah blah happened and made you feel sad, but there was really nothing we could do about when they decided to send you to us. She has attachment issues to her friends in her past. She thinks that she will just keep all the numbers and then call them all up one day and that they will still be close friends. I don't think it's sunk in with her that that is not how normal, run of the mill friends usually turn out.  Usually they just forget you or don't care that much. Because you grow apart. A concept that seems pretty foreign to MJ.

Rules we should prolly go over with her again at the next available opportunity:

Rewards/Going out to places/etc are always based on good behavior. Bad behavior results in loss of privileges no matter what promises or deals are made.

No arguing

No disrespect, in tone or in words. We can provide examples of disrespectful tone if necessary.