I don't just mean in my spending habits. I average $21.25 per hour when I'm working, excluding any tips, and including my work as a tutor. Based on my glance at our account this morning, if I wish to make as much as Hubby, but still only perform 12 hours of massage, I need to be paid $27-30 an hour, which is on the high end of an employee level massage therapist, but the low end if I worked for myself. Its completely feasible though. An average of $8-12 dollars in tips at that compensation would see me on equal earnings with Hubby, if I maintained my current tutoring schedule.
In a way it boggles the mind, that a $10 difference in salary could put me on par with a Researcher at a prestigious university. It almost makes it worth the effort to market myself. Being realistic however, I have 0 skill at selling myself. When panhandling once (for charity) I entirely earned my money by silently pouting at people pitifully in the rain because calling out was entirely too mortifying. If I won't do it for charity, I certainly won't do it for myself.
Still, I'm making great efforts to spend less money, and looking for ways to increase our income as well. I've joined a barter site that lets you trade services with your skills alone. I think its wonderful. Its paying for me and MJ's hair cut and color, for the price of four hour long massages. Its quite a fair trade, if a touch generous on my end.
It also lists a dental practice, and even child birth classes as things I can barter for. Thats really awesome for me. There of course are other services to be found, but those are the ones on my mind right now.
Thats pretty much it. Im just thinking of ways to increase our finances so Hubby wont worry as much. I wanted a record of the price range I need to be looking for, and some easy ways to substitute service for services.
Also? Child tried to return her sex toy last week 'because its boring'. I was shocked, and told her it wasnt meant to be exciting, it was to serve a function, and if she didnt want it, she could do without. My job is not to titillate her senses but to help her grow as an adult. Ugh.
Monday, March 20, 2017
Thursday, March 9, 2017
I just gave my daughter a sex toy
And oh god, I feel icky. Let me start from the beginning.
See, when she asked for dick picks last week, we had her write a paper on why she did it, and she admitted she has sexual urges that she doesn't know how to deal with. She's struggling to reign in her hormones and her curiosity about sex in general, and not doing the greatest job of it. That's why she looks up porn, that's why she solicits picks, that's why she thinks being raped would be fine as long as they don't kill her.
She's curious, and we as parents have a responsibility to help her understand the urges. Historically, she would be looking for a husband, if not already married. In modern times, these urges have no legal outlet, no relief and no understanding. As her parents, we need to assist her before she indulges in boy-girl exploration.
This in no way is easy on me. Hubby seems to think it's no big deal, but I have strong mental blocks. I'm not sure if it's because I've actually been with her since birth, because I was always taught any sexual exploration should be discrete and out of sight of parents, or because until I turned 16, I genuinely believed sex was illegal if you weren't married. All of it culminates in my reluctant assistance. I actually only assisted because the Family Therapist said it was not strange, and that Hubby found it's not illegal to buy a toy for a minor. Possibly frowned upon, but not illegal. Additionally? I don't want to imagine her shoving random things up her body out of the need for relief. Just. Ugh.
The trip to the store was interesting. I wanted Hubby to go, but ended up going by myself. I felt way too awkward to say 'I'm buying this for my daughter, can you show me anything you'd recommend for a beginner that's not sexually active?' so ended up walking down every aisle, looking at a lot of toys, asking lots of questions, and finding a lot of interesting things in general. In the end, as I always do when I visit that type of sex shop, I bought a 'mystery gift bag' that guarantees the contents to be worth twice as much as you spend, if not more.
Ironically, the contents had a sex toy that I already have. I had bought her a 'discreet travel kit' with three attachments for different 'textures' but the one I now had a second of is actually a REALLY good toy. Like, worth $60+, lasts a long time, safe for beginners, and simple to use. So I gave her that one instead. We didn't tell her that I have the same one (that'd just be really awkward), but I'm fairly certain she'll have her name on it in no time, so I won't have to worry about any mix-ups.
I'd considered giving her both, but hubby said to let her get used to one first, and that she'd prolly lose the attachments if we gave her the other one. Both good points, I'll admit.
Before we gave it to her, we had her write the 'Rules of the Vagina' (her term, not mine), and I explained how tampons work. I didn't mean to her scare her off them, but that's what seemed to happen. Incidentally? She thought pads dissolved, and was flushing them down the toilet. CRAZY ASS CHILD.
Phew. So, yeah. Just felt this was a good 'for posterity' moment. Thanks for reading!
See, when she asked for dick picks last week, we had her write a paper on why she did it, and she admitted she has sexual urges that she doesn't know how to deal with. She's struggling to reign in her hormones and her curiosity about sex in general, and not doing the greatest job of it. That's why she looks up porn, that's why she solicits picks, that's why she thinks being raped would be fine as long as they don't kill her.
She's curious, and we as parents have a responsibility to help her understand the urges. Historically, she would be looking for a husband, if not already married. In modern times, these urges have no legal outlet, no relief and no understanding. As her parents, we need to assist her before she indulges in boy-girl exploration.
This in no way is easy on me. Hubby seems to think it's no big deal, but I have strong mental blocks. I'm not sure if it's because I've actually been with her since birth, because I was always taught any sexual exploration should be discrete and out of sight of parents, or because until I turned 16, I genuinely believed sex was illegal if you weren't married. All of it culminates in my reluctant assistance. I actually only assisted because the Family Therapist said it was not strange, and that Hubby found it's not illegal to buy a toy for a minor. Possibly frowned upon, but not illegal. Additionally? I don't want to imagine her shoving random things up her body out of the need for relief. Just. Ugh.
The trip to the store was interesting. I wanted Hubby to go, but ended up going by myself. I felt way too awkward to say 'I'm buying this for my daughter, can you show me anything you'd recommend for a beginner that's not sexually active?' so ended up walking down every aisle, looking at a lot of toys, asking lots of questions, and finding a lot of interesting things in general. In the end, as I always do when I visit that type of sex shop, I bought a 'mystery gift bag' that guarantees the contents to be worth twice as much as you spend, if not more.
Ironically, the contents had a sex toy that I already have. I had bought her a 'discreet travel kit' with three attachments for different 'textures' but the one I now had a second of is actually a REALLY good toy. Like, worth $60+, lasts a long time, safe for beginners, and simple to use. So I gave her that one instead. We didn't tell her that I have the same one (that'd just be really awkward), but I'm fairly certain she'll have her name on it in no time, so I won't have to worry about any mix-ups.
I'd considered giving her both, but hubby said to let her get used to one first, and that she'd prolly lose the attachments if we gave her the other one. Both good points, I'll admit.
Before we gave it to her, we had her write the 'Rules of the Vagina' (her term, not mine), and I explained how tampons work. I didn't mean to her scare her off them, but that's what seemed to happen. Incidentally? She thought pads dissolved, and was flushing them down the toilet. CRAZY ASS CHILD.
Phew. So, yeah. Just felt this was a good 'for posterity' moment. Thanks for reading!
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