Good morning! It's 6:41 in the morning here. I'm sitting around waiting for MJ to be ready for the bus stop. It's nice that she does her chores, but man, does she take forever.
It's so early that someone, like me, who stays up late, is actually dizzy. I would send her to get on the bus by herself except my mom watches too many documentaries of people getting snatched, and my gut clenches at the idea of someone taking her just because I was too lazy to escort her to the bus stop. That was a really long sentence, but I'm not sure how to shorten it. Oh well, too tired to care right now.
Mia had her first little meltdown last night, and demanded to go home, and that she wanted her Mother, or Nana, but not us. She wants to go back to NC, and she wants to go 'home' but I don't think she really has an idea of where that is for her anymore. After handling that with honest, serious, quiet and clear (but hopefully not condescending) refusal, she said something about how I return her 'I love you's with smart and hurtful comments. I don't remember ever doing that, and Hubby also doesn't remember doing so, but we'll watch for it. Hubby says he thinks she's exaggerating it, and that what she means is that she'll say 'I love you!' then make a smart comment or ask about something I have to say no to, and hence, 'my smart comments' are made. She said it really hurts her feelings to have her love returned with mean comments. I do think that's true, and will watch out to not do that, but I don't think I have.
She also said that she treats me like any other foster mom. Hubby was confused, but I told him she probably meant that to hurt me, since I'm not just a foster mom, and for her to call me that means that she doesn't think I'm family anymore. I'm fine with it. It didn't hurt my feelings because I knew she'd try to hurt me, and a foster mom is still a mom, and that's what I am to her right now.
Phew. Just got her on the bus. The stop is a little far, and my ankles hurt from walking there and back, so it's a nice little mini-workout in the morning. My legs really shouldn't hurt, but I've gained enough weight that I think it's inevitable, but I won't stop doing it because otherwise I won't get used to it.
We're supposed to have sex in the mornings once she leaves, but yesterday we were too tired, and today I'm super tired even if Hubby is not, so it'll be an interesting attempt.
MJ called our Grandma yesterday and we tried to talk to her. She wants pictures of MJ and Maya, and couldn't hardly hear us. I think she had trouble with MJ because her voice is 'fuzzy' to put it one way. She has a burr that makes it difficult to understand what she's saying, while I can make my voice/accent clear and easily distinguished. She was happy we called.
MJ wants to go to Nana's house for holidays, and even though I told her we have to work, she's very insistent. Hubby thinks if she believes that if she can just get to NC, she'll be able to see her mom. That makes sense to me. She doesn't believe that court had good reasons for ending her mothers rights, so it's a bit of a headache talking to her.
Hearing her defend her mom hurts my heart a bit. I could easily start to hate my sister, listening to my niece say 'Court doesn't know anything. They don't know how hard she tried. She tried her best, so she should get me back.' She's very stuck on 'If you try your best, you'll succeed.' and I blame elementary schools and their ceaselessly optimistic attitudes. It's all well and dandy to apply that to getting better grades, or getting into shape, but when it comes to a person's safety, I don't wanna hear 'Oh, well I tried my best at the defenses' I wanna hear 'Oh, the only person getting through those defenses will be a smoking dead corpse' you know? Keeping people safe is very important, and just trying your best isn't going to cut it.
It made me VERY angry to hear MJ say 'Do you know they took Max from Momma without any warning? They gave Momma warning with us, but they didn't tell her anything with Max! That's messed up and they're evil!' I agree with the social worker that She. Should. Not. Know. That. Not in that detail, and not from the perspective of an adult. It has 'my sister really confided this shit to her' written all over it, and I can't help a burning anger in my gut that my sister would tell her little girl about her own problems that way. Don't get me wrong, YES she needs to know Max was in the system as well, but you don't tell her details!! You simply say 'Your little brother was also put in a foster home so your mom could work to get all of you back without having to care for a newborn' or something!! I can visibly imagine Cin laying her head on MJ's lap, crying about this, her wording was so clear.
So as you can see, we're struggling a little, but it's not so bad. When she was having a bedtime snack (salad), she burst out with 'Why can't I see my Mom?' and I got sick of it. I pointed at Hubby, told her to talk to him, because I was through for the night, and got up to get stuff for today ready. Hubby handled that conversation fairly well, but I think Mia just sees it as 'adult buffer' and isn't really listening once we mention court.
Alrighty, I'm done. Shout out to fourthmonth for being in good health and commenting on my bloggity! Have a good one ya'll!
I'm not sure I like the video, but the song is pretty interesting. Hm. Frankly, I don't even wanna watch the video anymore. I don't like it very much.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Her poor teachers
They weren't told anything about MJ skipping 4th and going directly into 5th. How do I know? Because this morning, her teachers came to our door to introduce themselves and when I went outside to privately ask about what they already knew, the answer was: They knew zilch! They didn't know she needs a 504 (behavior) plan, that she was being boosted up a grade, that she just moved here, nothing. But the fact that they came by, and will be doing so for her entire grade (there's only 30 students total. Can you believe that???) is very wonderful.
Her teacher meet and greet is tomorrow afternoon, and we'll be able to talk more at our leisure. I'm gonna have MJ wear a dress, since she hasn't worn one since she's come. She's worn skirts, but they're really skorts, so I don't think it counts.
After her teach came by, we all had to rush out the door, and even still, we were a little late getting Hubby to work. I then dropped the little one off at her club, picked up $5 worth of breakfast kolaches, and went to Min's place to chat for a few hours. She'd prepared muffins and little breakfast danishes, so it was quite a bread-ful breakfast.
We chatted (most of it revolved around MJ, unsurprisingly) and played games together before I left. At one point, she admitted she was confused, because she thought we were adopting MJ right away, and wondered what MJ's last name would be. She was like 'So you're taking care of her simply out of the goodness of your heart?' and I was like '....Well, yeah.' For some reason that was really impressive, where adopting her was not/was expected. I don't profess to understand others, simply observe them.
When I left, my stomach felt quite queasy (and honestly, I don't like using her bathroom because they don't have hand soap in there), so I decided to stop at home before going to pick up MJ (and hubby later). While I was home, I decided to change my shoes because I had planned to explore a mall with the little one while Hubby was tutoring, and cut up melon for tomorrow's breakfast (because our evenings are always hectic).
Then I went and picked her up, and had 20 minutes to kill before Hubby got off work, so MJ and I wandered around (walking) before we decided to sit at a table in the shade near his job. While we were sitting there, an employee at Thundercloud Subs (we eat there often, and it's right next to Hubby's job) came out to take trash out, and said hello. We answered, and she said 'You know, I saw you two and your husband? this morning. I see you guys pretty often. You make such a cute little family unit.' I just smiled and thanked her, and looked at MJ, but didn't comment on it one way or the other. MJ likewise looked at me funny for a minute, but chose not to say anything. Then we played her personal version of Apples to Apples until we'd had enough of waiting for Hubby and went to wait at the door to his job for him.
On the way, my phone started ringing, and it was my sister. She wanted to thank MJ for the Thank You card she recieved (that I made MJ write). While they were talking, Hubby startled me, and scolded me for standing in front of the door and not expecting someone to come walking out of it. *Shrug* I asked what everyone wanted for lunch, and got various unhelpful answers. So I decided to go ahead and drive to Hubby's tutoring appointment location and we'd eat somewhere nearby.
They had Japanese/Chinese Hibachi, but when we got there, they'd closed between 2:30 and 4:30, and it was 3, so we were out of luck. So we walked across the street to a little cafe, that closed at 3, so we were twice out of luck. Finally I decided we'd get pizza, like MJ wanted, and we went to Pizza Hut, hoping for the buffet. Aaaaaand again, we were out of luck, but we still ate there and simply ordered a random sampling of things that sounded good.
Our food took a while, so we all played Apples to Apples together, and then while we ate, I gathered up the Green cards and used them to start conversations about 'What's the first thing that pops into your head when you hear ______' and the answers were amusing. At one point we were just going around answering the answer of the person before us. I think that's a fun game, and I hope we can play it again soon.
After that, it was a mad rush to get Hubby to his job on time, but we managed. While he was working hard to make that money, MJ and I went around picking books to read. We found quite a few, honestly, and neither of us were willing to wait to be able to read them. So when, two hours later, we found out our library card didn't work because this library was out of the jurisdiction, we were....not happy.
Actually, not happy turned quite quickly to uncompromising 'But we want it! Please?!' which turned to spending $20 for a membership there that lasts six months, and can be switched to a free membership in a few weeks/whenever we get the paperwork done. On the plus side, both of us have been reading.
Then I asked if we could go to the mall (because I'd been planning to show it to MJ all day), and since Hubby was driving, he was the decider. He said (kinda meanly, but he's had a bad day) that I'd spent too much money already today, but if I wanted to go, and was okay with simply window-shopping, then fine, we could go. Considering I need to buy some new underwear and some body wash (MJ+Runa=Non-lasting body wash) that wasn't really something I could agree to, so I just set the GPS for home and read my book.
When we got home, we read while we waited for Nana to get on skype to talk to MJ (I'd called and arranged that earlier today). The books totally distracted me from realizing today is chore day for MJ, so she escaped her chores via neglect (ours) and will do them tomorrow instead. We had a nice, kinda stilted conversation with Nana, then I talked with Nana by myself for a bit while MJ went to play Uno with Hubby.
After that, we all went swimming, where MJ was extremely possessive and wouldn't let me stay near Hubby, but also wouldn't stay between the two of us either. She's getting a little worrisomely possessive of me, but I hope with time that'll ease and she'll get more attached to Hubby as well.
When we got out of the pool, MJ said she was hungry (I was too) so after giving her her medicine and scooting her into the shower, I made her a piece of peanut butter toast and sent her off to bed where I massaged her shoulders and neck (as per our promise. If she takes her shower in ten minutes or less, I'll rub her back/whatever for her for a few minutes) before tucking her in and telling her goodnight.
Overall, besides a little tension between the Hubby (whose day did not go as expected) and myself (who does not like bearing brunts of things she didn't cause), my day was pretty nice.
I heard this song on the radio Monday, and really wanted to dance to it, so we had an inpromptu dance that day. I think it's catchy and cute. Heh. The video is even cuter than I'd thought it would be.
Her teacher meet and greet is tomorrow afternoon, and we'll be able to talk more at our leisure. I'm gonna have MJ wear a dress, since she hasn't worn one since she's come. She's worn skirts, but they're really skorts, so I don't think it counts.
After her teach came by, we all had to rush out the door, and even still, we were a little late getting Hubby to work. I then dropped the little one off at her club, picked up $5 worth of breakfast kolaches, and went to Min's place to chat for a few hours. She'd prepared muffins and little breakfast danishes, so it was quite a bread-ful breakfast.
We chatted (most of it revolved around MJ, unsurprisingly) and played games together before I left. At one point, she admitted she was confused, because she thought we were adopting MJ right away, and wondered what MJ's last name would be. She was like 'So you're taking care of her simply out of the goodness of your heart?' and I was like '....Well, yeah.' For some reason that was really impressive, where adopting her was not/was expected. I don't profess to understand others, simply observe them.
When I left, my stomach felt quite queasy (and honestly, I don't like using her bathroom because they don't have hand soap in there), so I decided to stop at home before going to pick up MJ (and hubby later). While I was home, I decided to change my shoes because I had planned to explore a mall with the little one while Hubby was tutoring, and cut up melon for tomorrow's breakfast (because our evenings are always hectic).
Then I went and picked her up, and had 20 minutes to kill before Hubby got off work, so MJ and I wandered around (walking) before we decided to sit at a table in the shade near his job. While we were sitting there, an employee at Thundercloud Subs (we eat there often, and it's right next to Hubby's job) came out to take trash out, and said hello. We answered, and she said 'You know, I saw you two and your husband? this morning. I see you guys pretty often. You make such a cute little family unit.' I just smiled and thanked her, and looked at MJ, but didn't comment on it one way or the other. MJ likewise looked at me funny for a minute, but chose not to say anything. Then we played her personal version of Apples to Apples until we'd had enough of waiting for Hubby and went to wait at the door to his job for him.
On the way, my phone started ringing, and it was my sister. She wanted to thank MJ for the Thank You card she recieved (that I made MJ write). While they were talking, Hubby startled me, and scolded me for standing in front of the door and not expecting someone to come walking out of it. *Shrug* I asked what everyone wanted for lunch, and got various unhelpful answers. So I decided to go ahead and drive to Hubby's tutoring appointment location and we'd eat somewhere nearby.
They had Japanese/Chinese Hibachi, but when we got there, they'd closed between 2:30 and 4:30, and it was 3, so we were out of luck. So we walked across the street to a little cafe, that closed at 3, so we were twice out of luck. Finally I decided we'd get pizza, like MJ wanted, and we went to Pizza Hut, hoping for the buffet. Aaaaaand again, we were out of luck, but we still ate there and simply ordered a random sampling of things that sounded good.
Our food took a while, so we all played Apples to Apples together, and then while we ate, I gathered up the Green cards and used them to start conversations about 'What's the first thing that pops into your head when you hear ______' and the answers were amusing. At one point we were just going around answering the answer of the person before us. I think that's a fun game, and I hope we can play it again soon.
After that, it was a mad rush to get Hubby to his job on time, but we managed. While he was working hard to make that money, MJ and I went around picking books to read. We found quite a few, honestly, and neither of us were willing to wait to be able to read them. So when, two hours later, we found out our library card didn't work because this library was out of the jurisdiction, we were....not happy.
Actually, not happy turned quite quickly to uncompromising 'But we want it! Please?!' which turned to spending $20 for a membership there that lasts six months, and can be switched to a free membership in a few weeks/whenever we get the paperwork done. On the plus side, both of us have been reading.
Then I asked if we could go to the mall (because I'd been planning to show it to MJ all day), and since Hubby was driving, he was the decider. He said (kinda meanly, but he's had a bad day) that I'd spent too much money already today, but if I wanted to go, and was okay with simply window-shopping, then fine, we could go. Considering I need to buy some new underwear and some body wash (MJ+Runa=Non-lasting body wash) that wasn't really something I could agree to, so I just set the GPS for home and read my book.
When we got home, we read while we waited for Nana to get on skype to talk to MJ (I'd called and arranged that earlier today). The books totally distracted me from realizing today is chore day for MJ, so she escaped her chores via neglect (ours) and will do them tomorrow instead. We had a nice, kinda stilted conversation with Nana, then I talked with Nana by myself for a bit while MJ went to play Uno with Hubby.
After that, we all went swimming, where MJ was extremely possessive and wouldn't let me stay near Hubby, but also wouldn't stay between the two of us either. She's getting a little worrisomely possessive of me, but I hope with time that'll ease and she'll get more attached to Hubby as well.
When we got out of the pool, MJ said she was hungry (I was too) so after giving her her medicine and scooting her into the shower, I made her a piece of peanut butter toast and sent her off to bed where I massaged her shoulders and neck (as per our promise. If she takes her shower in ten minutes or less, I'll rub her back/whatever for her for a few minutes) before tucking her in and telling her goodnight.
Overall, besides a little tension between the Hubby (whose day did not go as expected) and myself (who does not like bearing brunts of things she didn't cause), my day was pretty nice.
I heard this song on the radio Monday, and really wanted to dance to it, so we had an inpromptu dance that day. I think it's catchy and cute. Heh. The video is even cuter than I'd thought it would be.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Argumentative Child
I have decided that I will blog for as long as it takes Hubby to bring me atoothbrush. There will be errors and mistakes and such, but I can't help it, as I'm super tired.
Work has really picked up lately, and I'm doing 3-5 Thais a day. On top of other massage modalities. Essentially, it's a very sore, very tired, Runa. And it's not just me either. Our work percentages as a whole are staying in the 60-90% range. That's not just good booking sense, either. It's lots of work.
On to the topic of discussion. We have a child. We have a child that has argued to the point of tears that I should not think she is prettier than her four year old sister. Frankly, her logic escapes me. She believes if she is prettier, that she will steal her little sister's friends, and her little sister will end up all alone. I suggested she make sure to always include her sister and there won't be a problem. I don't know why this was not a good enough answer. I told her it was a big sister's job to be attractive, because all friends admire older, nicer siblings, so she shouldn't worry about it. The topic turned to how her little sister is prettier. And the whole argument devolved from there.
Seriously, this child will argue with you if you leave the SLIGHTEST hole in an argument. And I have Hubby scolding me at night for arguing BACK! He tells me to pick my battles, when she arms up, calls her army, and marches to my door! I don't get to pick many of the battles, besides the ones that I catch because something about them is just so wrong. To blame me for being willing to spar was extremely frustrating, and I felt attacked on all sides. Since then, we've worked things out a bit (I will never not-engage enough for his tastes, but he recognizes the Evil One will always try to engage me) and he hasnt overly scolded me.
Our next step is to start getting enough sleep. Last week I had this fear that if I slept between 2-4 a.m., she would join us in our bed, and just couldn't do it. Then I got exhausted enough to say 'Fuck it. She can scooch her ass in if she needs to' and go to sleep. Frankly, I feel like this child is an energy vampire. She sucks all my energy out and leaves me tired just looking at her. That's not even including the troubles that come with taking in a child and getting her set up to be ready for school in a week.
Her interest in things is transient, her conversation is so convoluted that I have difficulty engaging, her testing has reached 'more often than not, it's a test' when talking with me, and whenever she's alone with me in a car, she cries!
..... And now I have my toothbrush. Night!
Work has really picked up lately, and I'm doing 3-5 Thais a day. On top of other massage modalities. Essentially, it's a very sore, very tired, Runa. And it's not just me either. Our work percentages as a whole are staying in the 60-90% range. That's not just good booking sense, either. It's lots of work.
On to the topic of discussion. We have a child. We have a child that has argued to the point of tears that I should not think she is prettier than her four year old sister. Frankly, her logic escapes me. She believes if she is prettier, that she will steal her little sister's friends, and her little sister will end up all alone. I suggested she make sure to always include her sister and there won't be a problem. I don't know why this was not a good enough answer. I told her it was a big sister's job to be attractive, because all friends admire older, nicer siblings, so she shouldn't worry about it. The topic turned to how her little sister is prettier. And the whole argument devolved from there.
Seriously, this child will argue with you if you leave the SLIGHTEST hole in an argument. And I have Hubby scolding me at night for arguing BACK! He tells me to pick my battles, when she arms up, calls her army, and marches to my door! I don't get to pick many of the battles, besides the ones that I catch because something about them is just so wrong. To blame me for being willing to spar was extremely frustrating, and I felt attacked on all sides. Since then, we've worked things out a bit (I will never not-engage enough for his tastes, but he recognizes the Evil One will always try to engage me) and he hasnt overly scolded me.
Our next step is to start getting enough sleep. Last week I had this fear that if I slept between 2-4 a.m., she would join us in our bed, and just couldn't do it. Then I got exhausted enough to say 'Fuck it. She can scooch her ass in if she needs to' and go to sleep. Frankly, I feel like this child is an energy vampire. She sucks all my energy out and leaves me tired just looking at her. That's not even including the troubles that come with taking in a child and getting her set up to be ready for school in a week.
Her interest in things is transient, her conversation is so convoluted that I have difficulty engaging, her testing has reached 'more often than not, it's a test' when talking with me, and whenever she's alone with me in a car, she cries!
..... And now I have my toothbrush. Night!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Our first day with MJ
started off rather badly. I was exhausted before the little even got here, and I had to meet her by myself. Then, she kept using words and phrases that didn't make sense so I had to keep asking what things meant. Like, 'ratchet' means 'looks bad', apparently.
So after I picked her up, we realized we were both hungry, and chose to eat at Denny's (because Hubby doesn't like Dennys, so it was a treat for us). It took a surprisingly long amount of time to order, eat, and pay. During that time, Cin called, and I had to pretend it was someone else. Since then, I've asked Kris if I can pretend that Cin is Kris so that the conversation isn't strange, and she said yes, so it'll be easier next time. I couldn't say 'i love you,' or 'i miss you,' because she was 'just a friend' when MJ asked.
That's another thing. Hubby asked what name she wanted us to use, and she said 'MJ'...... It's so strange and difficult for me. She doesn't really seem to care that I'm not calling her that, and it doesn't seem like Hubby calling her 'MJ' like she asked makes her warm up to him any quicker, but it is what she wants to be called. Ever since I realized that she wanted that because MJ can stand for Michael Jackson (who she's a fangirl for), it's even harder to use.
I think part of it is her own body image. She wants to be cute and girly and pretty, but thinks she's ugly, so she'd rather be boyish and 'cool'. I think it's sad for her to give up on the cutie honey side of her, so I'm even less tempted to call her MJ than I was before I realized the whole fangirl thing. I want her to understand that she is not overweight, she is not ugly, and she can be adorable and cute if she wants to. It's a huge, difficult issue, but I'm game to try.
So anyway, back to our day. By the time we finished at Denny's, it was nearly time for Hubby to get off work, so we picked him up before heading to the medicaid office. The medicaid office took....an hour and a half, easy. All for ten minutes worth of meeting and talking about requirements/documents they need.
Hubby just uploaded all the documents they need, so we should be getting a call on Monday, then getting an appointment and going in on Monday or Tuesday.
After the medicaid office, we went home, helped her unpack, and decided we were hungry, so we went to eat before going to Walmart to pick up the stuff she needed. While we had dinner, we explained the rules of the house and her chores to her. After dinner, we went to Walmart, and she and I went to pick out new bras for her budding womanhoods. She calls my breasts peaches.... It's a little weird. They're more like melons, after all. Hers are like....grapes. If we're continuing the fruit metaphor. *shrug* Ah, it was funny! In the pool, my breasts float, right? So she discreetly tried to signal that my breasts were coming out (and utterly failed) so she had to tell me, and I was like 'Oh, no, honey. I have a looooot more contained. They're secure.' and she was like '......oh.' Reb was laughing at us, because we were in the hot tub (Which is small) so he couldn't help overhearing.
So yeah, we picked up the stuff she needed at Walmart (expeeeeensive child!), came home, and skyped my family. They were weird. Like, just staring at us with creepy happy expressions and not talking. So MJ got to eat her cheesecake while she talked to them, then she got in the shower, and went to bed. I kissed her forehead, tucked her in, and turned on this ocean night light that is a picture of the ocean with a wave coming in (it also has sound, but I turned it off and didn't tell her it did). She really liked it.
Yesterday I felt frustrated the whole day, trying to keep up with her chatter, and her slang, and her fly-by insults, but today was a lot better. I think it started with me getting enough sleep, and continued with me going to work (thereby getting some time away from her, in a good way), so when we met up after work, she'd gotten a lot of her exuberance out, and was easier to talk to. Hubby said she was easy as pie to take care of once he got her to the bookstore. He said she picked out a book and just read the whole time.
We had dinner today, and talked about our days, then went home, and she showed me her swim suit (she has three, but I'm not sure one is appropriate, so she's not wearing it, and she doesn't like the one-piece, so....Pink and blue it is!) and we talked about puberty and boys and periods before going swimming. She had a few misconceptions about it, and has a very vehement opinion that boys and men are different. It feels like 'boys are safe' and 'men are dangerous' so I'm not really discouraging that idea just yet. I feel a little sorry for Hubby, since she tries to keep a distance from him, but she also really seems to respect him, and glances at him a lot when he's not looking. I think she's a little fascinated. I've told her a few times that because he's mine, he's safe. I think it's sinking in, because (though it was awkward) she hugged him goodnight tonight.
She also thought that women that wore bras just had breasts that were naturally sticking out like Ps. I had a good laugh at that, and told her it isn't true. I had to explain that all breasts sag over time, and we talked about her mom's, her grandma's, mine, and hers, to illustrate the difference, because she's seen all of us without bras on. She said Nana's breasts sagged to her belly button (yes, I laughed).
After we got out of the pool (we stayed in a LOT longer than I expected us to), we gave her ten minutes to shower if she wanted to eat (she got hungry) and she not only managed to shower, she managed to shave her armpits for the first time!! I taught her how last night, because she's getting brown hair down there, and getting body odor, so it's time for her to. She wants to shave her legs, but I haven't taught her yet. Knees and ankles are tricky, so I'm not sure how to go about it. Yeah, the hair on her knees are brown, but it isn't that noticeable yet. I'll still probably go ahead and teach her.
I'm having a lot of trouble keeping all of her medicines straight. She has five different ones, with multiple 'dosage' times. If I just write it all out, I'm sure I can get it all down. We forgot her medicine.....twice today. *sigh* But we managed to fix it. We're essentially carrying her inhaler everywhere, and applying the ear drops whenever she complains about it (which isn't often).
She eats whatever we get her, so that isn't an issue. We still need to ask her about what comforter she'd like. Annoyingly, Mom sent her a whole bedspread set the day AFTER we told her our friends would get MJ a pretty comforter to celebrate her coming to us.
Today, my back has been hurting a lot since I did three thais, and after we went swimming, I bent down to touch my toes and just let my torso hang for a few minutes. It was uncomfortable, but I felt like it should help. Lo and behold, I felt a vertebrae pop (it was strange) and the aching pain in my back disappeared when I stood upright again. I can't really believe I had a vertebrae twist like that on me (or whatever it did), and even more, that I fixed it myself.
Interestingly, one of the first things I did when she went to bed that first night, was put a password on my computer so it can't be accessed easily. .....And hubby just asked for the password. Lol. I really hope MJ isn't awake to hear that....
Now I've just made our snacks for tomorrow. I feel like having her here is really putting me into a 'must have healthy snacks, and decently healthy meals' mode, because she so obviously watches what I eat. For example, our snacks tomorrow (her and mine, since we're going to work/daycare) are one container of apples with peanut butter (mine) or salted caramel (hers), and one container of carrots, tomatoes, and crackers with ranch dip. Those should get us through to dinner, when we'll have chicken and dumplings, using chicken drumsticks, LOOOOTS of veggies (green beans, carrots, corn, peas), and rice cake slices. Her dessert is probably going to be the rest of the cheesecake, and maaaaaybe some peanut butter cookies if she helps make them/we have the time/we feel like it.
Alrighty then. I think I've brought you more or less up to date, so we're gonna get in bed before it gets much later (it's already 1 a.m. so....). Love you, and thanks so much for the support! Goodnight!
I like this song, and think it's a good (the clean version on the radio) song for MJ to hear.
http://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk
So after I picked her up, we realized we were both hungry, and chose to eat at Denny's (because Hubby doesn't like Dennys, so it was a treat for us). It took a surprisingly long amount of time to order, eat, and pay. During that time, Cin called, and I had to pretend it was someone else. Since then, I've asked Kris if I can pretend that Cin is Kris so that the conversation isn't strange, and she said yes, so it'll be easier next time. I couldn't say 'i love you,' or 'i miss you,' because she was 'just a friend' when MJ asked.
That's another thing. Hubby asked what name she wanted us to use, and she said 'MJ'...... It's so strange and difficult for me. She doesn't really seem to care that I'm not calling her that, and it doesn't seem like Hubby calling her 'MJ' like she asked makes her warm up to him any quicker, but it is what she wants to be called. Ever since I realized that she wanted that because MJ can stand for Michael Jackson (who she's a fangirl for), it's even harder to use.
I think part of it is her own body image. She wants to be cute and girly and pretty, but thinks she's ugly, so she'd rather be boyish and 'cool'. I think it's sad for her to give up on the cutie honey side of her, so I'm even less tempted to call her MJ than I was before I realized the whole fangirl thing. I want her to understand that she is not overweight, she is not ugly, and she can be adorable and cute if she wants to. It's a huge, difficult issue, but I'm game to try.
So anyway, back to our day. By the time we finished at Denny's, it was nearly time for Hubby to get off work, so we picked him up before heading to the medicaid office. The medicaid office took....an hour and a half, easy. All for ten minutes worth of meeting and talking about requirements/documents they need.
Hubby just uploaded all the documents they need, so we should be getting a call on Monday, then getting an appointment and going in on Monday or Tuesday.
After the medicaid office, we went home, helped her unpack, and decided we were hungry, so we went to eat before going to Walmart to pick up the stuff she needed. While we had dinner, we explained the rules of the house and her chores to her. After dinner, we went to Walmart, and she and I went to pick out new bras for her budding womanhoods. She calls my breasts peaches.... It's a little weird. They're more like melons, after all. Hers are like....grapes. If we're continuing the fruit metaphor. *shrug* Ah, it was funny! In the pool, my breasts float, right? So she discreetly tried to signal that my breasts were coming out (and utterly failed) so she had to tell me, and I was like 'Oh, no, honey. I have a looooot more contained. They're secure.' and she was like '......oh.' Reb was laughing at us, because we were in the hot tub (Which is small) so he couldn't help overhearing.
So yeah, we picked up the stuff she needed at Walmart (expeeeeensive child!), came home, and skyped my family. They were weird. Like, just staring at us with creepy happy expressions and not talking. So MJ got to eat her cheesecake while she talked to them, then she got in the shower, and went to bed. I kissed her forehead, tucked her in, and turned on this ocean night light that is a picture of the ocean with a wave coming in (it also has sound, but I turned it off and didn't tell her it did). She really liked it.
Yesterday I felt frustrated the whole day, trying to keep up with her chatter, and her slang, and her fly-by insults, but today was a lot better. I think it started with me getting enough sleep, and continued with me going to work (thereby getting some time away from her, in a good way), so when we met up after work, she'd gotten a lot of her exuberance out, and was easier to talk to. Hubby said she was easy as pie to take care of once he got her to the bookstore. He said she picked out a book and just read the whole time.
We had dinner today, and talked about our days, then went home, and she showed me her swim suit (she has three, but I'm not sure one is appropriate, so she's not wearing it, and she doesn't like the one-piece, so....Pink and blue it is!) and we talked about puberty and boys and periods before going swimming. She had a few misconceptions about it, and has a very vehement opinion that boys and men are different. It feels like 'boys are safe' and 'men are dangerous' so I'm not really discouraging that idea just yet. I feel a little sorry for Hubby, since she tries to keep a distance from him, but she also really seems to respect him, and glances at him a lot when he's not looking. I think she's a little fascinated. I've told her a few times that because he's mine, he's safe. I think it's sinking in, because (though it was awkward) she hugged him goodnight tonight.
She also thought that women that wore bras just had breasts that were naturally sticking out like Ps. I had a good laugh at that, and told her it isn't true. I had to explain that all breasts sag over time, and we talked about her mom's, her grandma's, mine, and hers, to illustrate the difference, because she's seen all of us without bras on. She said Nana's breasts sagged to her belly button (yes, I laughed).
After we got out of the pool (we stayed in a LOT longer than I expected us to), we gave her ten minutes to shower if she wanted to eat (she got hungry) and she not only managed to shower, she managed to shave her armpits for the first time!! I taught her how last night, because she's getting brown hair down there, and getting body odor, so it's time for her to. She wants to shave her legs, but I haven't taught her yet. Knees and ankles are tricky, so I'm not sure how to go about it. Yeah, the hair on her knees are brown, but it isn't that noticeable yet. I'll still probably go ahead and teach her.
I'm having a lot of trouble keeping all of her medicines straight. She has five different ones, with multiple 'dosage' times. If I just write it all out, I'm sure I can get it all down. We forgot her medicine.....twice today. *sigh* But we managed to fix it. We're essentially carrying her inhaler everywhere, and applying the ear drops whenever she complains about it (which isn't often).
She eats whatever we get her, so that isn't an issue. We still need to ask her about what comforter she'd like. Annoyingly, Mom sent her a whole bedspread set the day AFTER we told her our friends would get MJ a pretty comforter to celebrate her coming to us.
Today, my back has been hurting a lot since I did three thais, and after we went swimming, I bent down to touch my toes and just let my torso hang for a few minutes. It was uncomfortable, but I felt like it should help. Lo and behold, I felt a vertebrae pop (it was strange) and the aching pain in my back disappeared when I stood upright again. I can't really believe I had a vertebrae twist like that on me (or whatever it did), and even more, that I fixed it myself.
Interestingly, one of the first things I did when she went to bed that first night, was put a password on my computer so it can't be accessed easily. .....And hubby just asked for the password. Lol. I really hope MJ isn't awake to hear that....
Now I've just made our snacks for tomorrow. I feel like having her here is really putting me into a 'must have healthy snacks, and decently healthy meals' mode, because she so obviously watches what I eat. For example, our snacks tomorrow (her and mine, since we're going to work/daycare) are one container of apples with peanut butter (mine) or salted caramel (hers), and one container of carrots, tomatoes, and crackers with ranch dip. Those should get us through to dinner, when we'll have chicken and dumplings, using chicken drumsticks, LOOOOTS of veggies (green beans, carrots, corn, peas), and rice cake slices. Her dessert is probably going to be the rest of the cheesecake, and maaaaaybe some peanut butter cookies if she helps make them/we have the time/we feel like it.
Alrighty then. I think I've brought you more or less up to date, so we're gonna get in bed before it gets much later (it's already 1 a.m. so....). Love you, and thanks so much for the support! Goodnight!
I like this song, and think it's a good (the clean version on the radio) song for MJ to hear.
http://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Now that the excitement has faded....
The worry has set in. She'll be here Friday morning (they certainly aren't wasting any time). From then on we will have a constant little observer, watching, listening, learning from everything we do! I can't be as lazy as I like to be. She'll think it's okay to be lazy. I can't have as many snacks as I like to. She'll also think snacks are good all the time. I can't reward behaviors with sweets and treats (like I was) because we've discovered that's a very horrible mindset that is nearly impossible to get out of. All these thoughts! They keep going in and out and around and above my head!
I got a pedicure yesterday! He got all the scratchy calluses off. The strange bumpy things are still there but they aren't as obvious. I don't like the color I picked out on me as much as I liked it in the bottle. And I was very uncomfortable with a man working on my feet, though it doesn't bother me when it's just a guy massaging my feet. I felt really bad that he was working so hard and likely wasn't getting paid all the money I was paying (which honestly, wasn't nearly as expensive as my mom's pedicures are and he didn't hurt me like she does) so I gave him a 10 dollar tip. Part of the tip was an apology for reading a book and basically ignoring him the whole time. Even with the tip, it didn't cost as much as my Mom charges people. I added some cute stickers to the top with like black flowers, white swirling patterns, and white 'wings' to make it a little cuter. I like it way more now than I did when it was plain.
I'm so very exhausted! I worked straight through til I got off today! I didn't get a real lunch break, though there was a nice little thirty minute break because someone only wanted a twenty minute chair massage. She was there for big brothers big sisters, and her 'little sister' wanted a spa treatment. She said they'd definitely be back. It was interesting, because they obviously weren't blood related, so I thought maybe the girl was adopted. Lol.
The kitty has completely adapted to my whims. Oh, speaking of the kitty, I think we've figured out why she keeps refusing to use her litterbox. It was infested with tiny little bugs that I think were mites! If something were biting my ass/legs/feet while I tried to take a doodoo I'd refuse to use it too! Hopefully we took care of that with a thorough cleaning, but I'm still considering going to the vet to get some kind of repellant to keep it from happening again.
Man my wrists hurt, but I really wanted to blog and communicate with you people. ;) I'm tapping my feet to the music I'm listening to, coincidentally (coughcough) tapping Maya repeatedly so that she looks like she's bobbing and tapping to the music as well. It's really cute! Whoops. She spotted a bug.
One of my kouhai (a person that started after me, and is therefore under my care) seems to be a little overworked. So I offered her one of my dinners (I was content smelling it, so I'll know to get it next time because it was good; I try to keep a few food options at work so I don't end up collapsing), essentially forced her to eat it, then stuck her in a relaxing hand and foot massage with no mercy. This had the unexpected result of her being unbelievably guilt-ridden about all the care I have given to her, so to make her feel better, I told her to give me a facial massage. Then she wanted constructive feedback. Damnit. lol. If that's my only problem, I'm a lucky chicka.
OMGOSH!!! WE'RE GETTING A CHILD IN 5-6 DAYS!!!! Sorry. It keeps hitting at random times. I informed work that we were getting her, and mentioned that I may have to tinker with my hours so that I can pick her up from school. The owner said that they were considering hiring someone for mornings, but maybe I could take them over instead. That could be good, but I think it could be bad if no one shows. So I'm hoping I can talk to them about making my hours more like 10-2, and then 4:30-8 to get a bit of the rush hour and a bit of the morning that needs filling. Oh. Hubby just suggested he pick her up, since he makes less and can tell his boss what hours he can work.
Also, there's a Wednesday shift that's open, that they thought was mine because I agreed to take it for two weeks. So I offered to take it full-time both because it's more hours, and because having two days off in a row actually makes going back to work harder. It gives my hands more time to heal, but it also makes it more painful to start back at work after those days off. Also, on a very small level, I've realized that when I'm at work, I don't overeat even NEARLY as much as I do at home, and if I continue substituting my snacks for healthy things like celery and apples and carrots and snow-peas, I think it's inevitable that I will lose weight in a slow but steady manner.
I've noticed lately that regular brownies and ice cream and cake actually make me sick to my stomach after not having them for a few days. This generally means that either I'm allergic to something in them, or that they're actually (duh) just not good for you period, and should really be phased out of my diet anyway.
Hubby is listening to Jersey Boys in anticipation of us going to see the movie soon. I really wanna see the Fluffy movie. :( We were going to, but arrived at the wrong theater and didn't have time to find the right one, so we saw the Grand Budapest Hotel instead. It was a surprisingly crude and blunt story with surprisingly attractive and interesting characters and a humor that I didn't realize I liked.
Okay, sleep time now. Thanks for reading, Good night!
This is what showed up when I typed in 'Walk like a man AMV'.......
I got a pedicure yesterday! He got all the scratchy calluses off. The strange bumpy things are still there but they aren't as obvious. I don't like the color I picked out on me as much as I liked it in the bottle. And I was very uncomfortable with a man working on my feet, though it doesn't bother me when it's just a guy massaging my feet. I felt really bad that he was working so hard and likely wasn't getting paid all the money I was paying (which honestly, wasn't nearly as expensive as my mom's pedicures are and he didn't hurt me like she does) so I gave him a 10 dollar tip. Part of the tip was an apology for reading a book and basically ignoring him the whole time. Even with the tip, it didn't cost as much as my Mom charges people. I added some cute stickers to the top with like black flowers, white swirling patterns, and white 'wings' to make it a little cuter. I like it way more now than I did when it was plain.
I'm so very exhausted! I worked straight through til I got off today! I didn't get a real lunch break, though there was a nice little thirty minute break because someone only wanted a twenty minute chair massage. She was there for big brothers big sisters, and her 'little sister' wanted a spa treatment. She said they'd definitely be back. It was interesting, because they obviously weren't blood related, so I thought maybe the girl was adopted. Lol.
The kitty has completely adapted to my whims. Oh, speaking of the kitty, I think we've figured out why she keeps refusing to use her litterbox. It was infested with tiny little bugs that I think were mites! If something were biting my ass/legs/feet while I tried to take a doodoo I'd refuse to use it too! Hopefully we took care of that with a thorough cleaning, but I'm still considering going to the vet to get some kind of repellant to keep it from happening again.
Man my wrists hurt, but I really wanted to blog and communicate with you people. ;) I'm tapping my feet to the music I'm listening to, coincidentally (coughcough) tapping Maya repeatedly so that she looks like she's bobbing and tapping to the music as well. It's really cute! Whoops. She spotted a bug.
One of my kouhai (a person that started after me, and is therefore under my care) seems to be a little overworked. So I offered her one of my dinners (I was content smelling it, so I'll know to get it next time because it was good; I try to keep a few food options at work so I don't end up collapsing), essentially forced her to eat it, then stuck her in a relaxing hand and foot massage with no mercy. This had the unexpected result of her being unbelievably guilt-ridden about all the care I have given to her, so to make her feel better, I told her to give me a facial massage. Then she wanted constructive feedback. Damnit. lol. If that's my only problem, I'm a lucky chicka.
OMGOSH!!! WE'RE GETTING A CHILD IN 5-6 DAYS!!!! Sorry. It keeps hitting at random times. I informed work that we were getting her, and mentioned that I may have to tinker with my hours so that I can pick her up from school. The owner said that they were considering hiring someone for mornings, but maybe I could take them over instead. That could be good, but I think it could be bad if no one shows. So I'm hoping I can talk to them about making my hours more like 10-2, and then 4:30-8 to get a bit of the rush hour and a bit of the morning that needs filling. Oh. Hubby just suggested he pick her up, since he makes less and can tell his boss what hours he can work.
Also, there's a Wednesday shift that's open, that they thought was mine because I agreed to take it for two weeks. So I offered to take it full-time both because it's more hours, and because having two days off in a row actually makes going back to work harder. It gives my hands more time to heal, but it also makes it more painful to start back at work after those days off. Also, on a very small level, I've realized that when I'm at work, I don't overeat even NEARLY as much as I do at home, and if I continue substituting my snacks for healthy things like celery and apples and carrots and snow-peas, I think it's inevitable that I will lose weight in a slow but steady manner.
I've noticed lately that regular brownies and ice cream and cake actually make me sick to my stomach after not having them for a few days. This generally means that either I'm allergic to something in them, or that they're actually (duh) just not good for you period, and should really be phased out of my diet anyway.
Hubby is listening to Jersey Boys in anticipation of us going to see the movie soon. I really wanna see the Fluffy movie. :( We were going to, but arrived at the wrong theater and didn't have time to find the right one, so we saw the Grand Budapest Hotel instead. It was a surprisingly crude and blunt story with surprisingly attractive and interesting characters and a humor that I didn't realize I liked.
Okay, sleep time now. Thanks for reading, Good night!
This is what showed up when I typed in 'Walk like a man AMV'.......
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