The crazy train's name is MJ. We were planning on going to the movie Lego Batman because Kaydikins and MJ both said they wanted to see it. Problem was that they were both behaving like brats and being annoying in general during the 30 minute car ride there. Kaydikins was talking about how he was going to go look for guns to kill people with. He said something else bad I don't quite remember, but Runa joked and said to MJ "See MJ, look at how you are influencing him" but MJ took it seriously. Then when Runa explained that it was a joke, MJ said "OK then" but in a "I'm right, you're wrong" kind of tone that Runa took to be disrespectful. One thing led to another and MJ escalated the situation by not being quiet when Runa told her to be. So since I had already seen the movie and MJ was not improving her behavior, we decided that I would take her back to Runa's mom's house. She had a fit and screamed multiple things. Most of the things she screamed were about how it wasn't her fault and she did nothing wrong and how she had been trying really hard to behave well so that Kaydikins would have someone to look up to (which I had to restrain a laugh at because she was being so obnoxious at that point).

I took her back home myself and she tried her best to rant to me and get me to be mad. She started off with an unreasonable request that I take her back to our house (two hours away). I told her no a couple times and she asked why and I told her I'm the driver and I'm not willing to drive two hours there and back. She said that she thought Runa had overreacted and that she was trying to pretend to not be too enthusiastic about the movie (it didn't really make sense) and she asked why every time she tried to do something right she messed up. She said at one point that she hates her entire family. She asked me why I ever even married Runa. I told her Runa was a good person. She said that no she wasn't, she just thinks she is. She said she hated Runa's mom and always hates coming to her house and I was just like... "I'm not going to defend what she said when she called your hair ugly and stuff when you cut it, but to me that seems like a silly thing to hold a grudge over." Then she said that she hated Runa's mom because she had Cin, Kris, and Runa and that all the stuff that happened is basically her fault because she decided to get with a bunch of different men. My response was that it was pointless to play the blame game since she would have to get mad at basically all of her ancestors, and their ancestors before them. She took a shot at me and said that I "stole Runa from the family" because whenever we got married Runa stopped spending time with her. I didn't really dignify that with a response because she was just spewing out random crap at that point. All I said was no, I didn't. She said she wasn't good at anything and would turn out just like her mom. And then of course she argued with me about how she wasn't good at dancing or playing softball and that she doesn't actually enjoy playing softball, that it was just something for her to get through. That there wasn't really a point to her life besides playing softball and that she wasn't even good at it.

She piled on Kaydikins as well. Alot of the stuff she said made it clear that she thought that her and Kaydikins should be held to the same standard. She said that Kaydikins did this or said this but that she was held to an unfair higher standard. Like she said he used the words nigger, cunt, and other stuff and that she knew if she said things like that we would punish her severely. I pointed out that she was 13 and he was 8, so he doesn't know the meaning behind the words but she should know better. She said that he had alot more issues than she thought he did and that he had told her he wanted to kill himself. And that she didn't want him to like her or be around her because she wasn't a good example.

Runa's Addition: Of course after the movie, Hubby came to pick us up, and Kaydikins and I weren't able to really enjoy the movie because we both felt like MJ should be there with us, but we can't reward bad behaviour just because we want to have her with us. I had to talk to Kaydikins multiple times about how we can't indulge MJ or it will spoil her and she won't learn to behave better, but I think Kaydikins kinda got the point. We went to Ross's, 2nd and Charles, and Walgreens shopping after the movie, which Mum said made MJ really mad (quietly) about. Eventually MJ called us (we were heading home by that point) asking if we'd be coming home soon, since she wasn't allowed to go out. I told her she wasn't allowed to go play with her friends because she'd behaved so badly in the car, so she was bored at home by herself.

When we got home, we ate soup (Mommy's homemade soup! YAY!), and then got Mom's car ready to be washed and cleaned by MJ because she lost a bet with me a few days ago. We eased up because originally she was supposed to do it by herself, but if she did, it'd be sloppy and take forever and we'd never get to play water balloons with the kids. So the four of us played and washed and worked and eventually did a good enough job, and we got the water balloons filled, but the water balloons are rather difficult to pop.

This created it's own problems which eventually escalated into one of the worst fits MJ has had this year. She and Kaydikins exasperated each other to the point that when Kaydikins got the last water spray in as he went inside, MJ ended up screaming about how he's the reason everything goes wrong. When I corrected her, that it's her attitude ruining everything, she screamed 'Well maybe that's because I shouldn't be here!!' and tried to go inside. Mom kicked her back out because she wasn't ready for her (she was wet, and the AC would have gotten her sick, and Kaydikins was still bathing) so we told her she's required to pick up all the water balloon remains for screaming at me for the third time today.

Of course this made her angry, and she came up to me with her fists clenched, and threatened to take me down. I looked her in the eye and told her she'd be the one going down, but if she'd like, please continue to come at me. She turned around and walked to the hose for the water balloons. As I started to say she didn't need to pick that up, she started trying to break it, so I went to take it from her. She continued to play keep away until Hubby finally came to help me, at which point she threw it rather than give it to us.

I tried to restrain her as she started to thrash (I didn't realize it then, but she was trying to get a good angle to kick me) but she was slippery, and so was I, so when she went to hit me, I caught her arms, and dropped her to the ground, then sat on her lightly to keep her from getting her legs in my crotch area. When she screamed she couldn't breathe, I lightened the pressure a bit, but refused to release her because she admitted she was going to continue trying to hurt me, and she wouldn't calm down.

She spewed a lot of shit about how I'm a liar because I said I don't get jealous (this goes back to a long time ago, when we had a girls day out and I told her jealousy would destroy her life) and since I'm human, jealousy happens. I think she must have been chewing over my words for a long time and found she couldn't restrain her jealousy, so doesn't believe someone else can (or else is ironically jealous that I'm not jealous of others).

There were other things, like screaming that she wishes I was her mother and not that big fat hoe that is. I genuinely was fighting to keep her from thrashing and missed parts of it (Hubby heard that part) and thought she was calling me a big fat hoe. I said something to the effect of 'I'm sorry you think I'm a ho, but that's your opinion,' and she screamed 'Not you!! Her!!' and I'm fighting to keep hold of her hands so she can't punch at me again, and I'm just like 'Oh.' I can't really argue that opinion of her mother right now, so okay.

At one point, I warned her that if she couldn't calm down, I would press her diaphragm til she passed out to get her to stop screaming, it was that bad. After that, she was down to spewing venom with her words, but not her voice. She also stopped trying to punch me around then. I could finally let her arms go, which was great because I was dizzy from leaning over like that.

I've prolly damaged my mom's reputation in the neighborhood, considering we were in the front yard, with me holding down a screaming 13 yr old. Several people walked or drove by during this, during sunset on a Saturday night. Mom was worried police would be called on us, but I wouldn't have cared. I repeatedly told MJ I wouldn't let her go until she calmed down. Eventually she was down to just crying and asking to go home. She was worried Kaydikins would hate her, and didn't want to go inside. Once I got her to go inside, she didn't want to be alone during her shower, so asked me to stay. I ended up getting in the shower right after her, so we had a fairly non-awkward 'we're both naked' moment, not counting the one when she couldn't get her hips to stop itching, and I ended up washing her hips, back, shoulders, etc for her. She and I are allergic to grass, so it's got to be cleaned off thoroughly, especially her, since she was held down in the grass for so long.

During her shower, she asked me why she was like this, why she couldn't be good, and why she couldn't just be what she wanted to be. She talked about how she's been trying so hard to change and she can't and she hated herself so much and why couldn't she just die. It's been an interesting evening. I'm exhausted and tired and just kind of ready to throw in the towel for the night.

I has new job. Cheeseburger?

By that, I mean that I now work three jobs, and that comes to massaging six days in a row, and twice on Mondays. My new boss sampled my massage (and paid for it omg) and says I am highly skilled and she loves it. I like this job, even if its an IC position (noe, why, ugh, taxes are gonna be fun) and I like the people I work with. I'm hoping I'll be able to leave my old massage job soon, as I feel under appreciated and over worked. By that, I mean that management isnt doing what they're supposed to, and we're having to pick up the slack.

We visited with Hubby's family this weekend. We were also apparently supposed to chat with Caitlec, but we all seem to have forgotten. I was too busy getting creamed at pool and table tennis to remember. We ate separately from his parents Saturday because they wanted to go to church, and we visited Books a Million (an endangered species, believe me) then ate at an expensive Italian place.

I wasn't looking for expensive, but I was looking for local. I do try to eat at locally owned unique restaurants because it assists the community, it usually isn't freezer food, and sometimes you hear the most amazing stories. This wasn't that experience, but the food was good, and we were able to have a deep convo with MJ for the first time without frustration from anybody.

I think it unsettled Hubby to be there but away from his parents, cause he made some comments later that felt like he was unsettled at the change in routine. Normally we pretty much hang with his parents the whole time, do what they want to, and eat wherever together (or MIL feeds us). The visits to our parents are very different from each other. It also prolly doesnt help that he doesnt really have any friends in his hometown, and no siblings, so doing things without his mom at least must feel strange.

For me, its really a treat when I get a full day with my mom, but also thats usually all either of us can handle. So one day is with my mom, and the other is doing things I want to with whoever, like my bro, sis, friend, just hubby, etc. For me, constantly being with parents (particularly as I rather judged when his mom is around) is strange, unsettling and stressful. I try to enjoy it though, as they are family.

Its really strange when Hubby asks what I want to do as though I know what the options are. It isnt my hometown, I dont know what to do. I think he'll do better with that over time thougj, and the flea market we visited this time was neat. I'd like to go again.

The beach was also nice. Itd be nice to spend a week there and really enjoy the sun and sea. Oh well. Maybe sometime in summer.

This song reminds me of one of the worst fights I've had with Hubby: