Friday, October 29, 2010

I made a little girl cry today......

And I didn't even do anything except call her name. I was supposed to give her a name tag. She was terrified and had to be dragged to even get into a picture with me. Eventually she smiled at me and laughed with me, but that took like an hour and a game that's kinda like Fruits Basket.

Tomorrow, I go to teach english to some more kids. It's a volunteer thing, so Nana-san is paying for my travel fees. I'm totally cool with that. I'm even looking forward to it.

Sunday I'm going to a Halloween Festival for the children in Itami. Everyone says they want to meet us, but I'm secretly worried that isn't true and they'll cry at the sight of us.

New Topic

I'm getting a care package! Yay! You wouldn't believe what my poor momma did. Admittedly, it's her own fault since she didn't print out the list she insisted I write for her in the first place, but some of it....*shakes head* Poor momma. I asked for some personal items and she sent me the wrong size. I asked for candy, and she sent that. I asked for my warm clothes that I'd already organized, but those clothes have completely disappeared. She sent what she could find. And that's it. And that alone cost $150 just to ship. Papa paid for it. I would have more sympathy if I didn't send that list a month ago. She shipped the box yesterday. FYI: It has gone down into nearly freezing temperatures here already, and I have nothing but a few layers and a gray little jacket to keep me warm. She had a month to get everything together and send it to me before it reached "WARMTH PLEASE!" temperatures. Now I will suffer for another week or so before I can get warm clothes to keep the frostbite away. But that's okay. It's just a week. ....*sigh* It's so cold.....

She's making me a new care package and sending that one. This time she wrote out the list and we reviewed what she had, and what she had to go buy. I think she's going shopping today to pick up what she can of it. I really really really wanted some bubble bath.....my skin is super dry with all the sweating and winter.  I'm excited. I asked for surprises. Maybe I shouldn't have....but I desperately want something I didn't expect. I just hope I don't get a lot of things I won't recognize. :S

Meh. I'm tired. I wanted to start Otomen, but I don't think thats gonna happen. *sigh* I'll try to start it tomorrow. Damnit. Oopsie. I forgot to post this. I guess I'll find a song.

Sappy, but hell, maybe you need the sap today.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

You're lucky, twice in a week

No one comments....

There's a really interesting video I hadn't had the pleasure/satisfaction of watching before. I'll try to remember to embed it, but I'm listening to other things right now so......
Sometimes I think bf gave me a fake metal bracelet so it will brand my skin....It's turning a little purple now. *frown* I guess I'll stick to just wearing the necklace. Sorry dear, but I don't think a purple ring on my wrist leaves a very good impression.
Ikuchin is an avid newspaper reader. I'm both jealous and interested. I'd love to try every once in a while, but she'd prolly get impatient with my embarrassingly slow reading. I don't know, she'd prolly still let me.
I really wanna start watching Otomen. I'm super excited. But I can't find a time for it!! AAAAAUGH!
My sissies took photos of me doing a fishy-kissy face......I bet they post it somewhere......Damnit.
Wonder what else I can think of to talk about. Life's interesting, that's for sure.
I did Karaoke today. It was superbly embarrassing. Everyone else seemed to know their voice range and sang within it, while I was fluctuating all over the place. Too high, too low, too gross, overall. V_V But it was fun, so I'd like to go again soon....Geh. I need more money before I try that though. On the plus side, I'm getting really good at figuring out where I am when biking, and when that fails, I can understand the directions I'm so kindly given. I utterly fail sometimes.....lol.
I really like the yoga stretches I've been taught. I'll prolly continue them. I'm losing a bit of weight. I'm not even sure why. My lips are getting a little chapped so they stay rather red, and my skin is getting pale from my habit of staying indoors, so I feel rather pretty lately. Is it vain to think that way? I think it's a lot healthier than always thinking of one's flaws. I look pretty good and I know it. I'd look better if I could get rid of the bags under my eyes, but jeez, I don't know what else to do to get rid of them. I try to sleep, but sometimes it doesn't happen. I lay in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep on sunday, and didn't get but 2 hours total. It suuuuucked.
At Karaoke I kept singing really messed up songs about twisted love. What does THAT mean about my love life right now? (Since my music reflects the opposite of my feelings) I realized it and then got even more embarrassed about that than my voice.
Nickelback btw, almost always has a story to go with their music video. It makes me super happy. I'm just super happy in general right now. I think that means I'll cry tonight from loneliness or something. My moods fluctuate too much for my comfort.
Alright, I'll post this soon since bf is asking about my day. And I'm too lazy to write it over and over again.
I'm sending out emails to new friends and acquaintances right now. People I met at the party yesterday. I hope I can do a lot of odd jobs for this teacher. I really like her. She's from San Francisco. I'm not sure why I like her, she seems rather strict. But I do....*shrug* She scares all the other exchange students. Anyway. Posting!

Okay, after watching it again, it's not particularly realistic, but still. It's touching to me. I think I have a bit of a Daddy complex since I never had one. (Basically I romanticize the idea of a father) As long as I recognize it, there's no problem.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

And my parents are worried about MY drinking?

Or lack thereof, really. I have just subjected myself to half an hour of the most torturious tales of drunken revelry. With tobacco smoke clogging my throat as an appetizer. You will not see me:

-Having sex in the bathroom
-Masturbating while my friends watch in the courtyard of the school (sober, btw)
-Giving a guy a hand job with another girl at a party
-groping another girl
-talking shit about each other and then being forced to remember it the next week
-Getting so drunk I do no remember the night
-having flashbacks to said night and not being sure what happened where or when
-going places with people I dont really know to places I don:t understand. (or know how to get home from)
-Various other things

Now that we're clear on that, we can continue. Yay, Edamame picking! It was fun but....I keep going places with older people! Like, fifites old. I don:t really mind since they:re all really nice and they treat me to stuff and open doors for me and pick me up and everything, but I feel bad about it. I don:t really hang out with friends on the weekend if they aren:t staying the night, and when they do that, I don:t know what to do with them.

If there's mistakes, its because I'm on a Japanese style computer and I'm rather irritated with those people. In the middle of the coutyard! To prove hes a *pimp*. REALLY?!

Uh, beyond that,....Meh. I just wanted to bit** about that. I'm good now. Thanks.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Playing with Fire

I thought about writing the other blog first, but realized I prolly need to edit what I'm thinking before it's presentable. :P
My title is from the newest chapter of a story I read today. I'd forgotten it was rated M. And how it deserved that title....*blush*
So, I'm in need of doing homework. Heh....I kinda suck, don't you think? I only had one class today, but I still managed to only do 3-4 pages of homework when I have like 6 due, and a ton of reading material due as well.

I got to walk home with Toofu-san! He's so awesome! I swear bf, if I wasn't dating you, I'd seriously consider going after him! He's great. And he works out three times a week! I was like @_@. Well, I got to walk with him to the train station, since I ride my bike home.

Speaking of the bike...I think it hates me. If I'm not on it, it scratches my legs, and when I ride it uphill, it's so haaaaaaard. Though admittedly, it might not be the bikes fault for that. Okay, none of this is the bike's fault. Doesn't mean I can't blame it.

Hm, I've been super busy, so even though I slept for nearly 12 hours last night (subtract all the times Sao-chan screamed) I'm still super tired. I just wanted to climb back into bed.

Eh....It's like 9 30 at night, and Ikuchin just went for a run...I kinda wanna go too....But like, accompany her on my bike instead, because running really isn't my thing. REALLY isn't my thing.

Okay, I officially can't think of anything to add to it that isn't detailing the events of the last few days. Ciao!

Friday, October 15, 2010

KomattaKoto

Which translates roughly to "Troublesome things".

*sigh* I have something to admit. I hate to admit it, and I hate to think of anyone knowing, but .....*dundundun* I'm out of money. I can say I'm 'running low' but that translates to "I've been eating 1 dollar's worth of food each day for lunch in order to still have something to buy food with the next day. I have less than a hundred yen to my name that belongs to me here. I had to borrow money from Ikuchin just to buy a ticket for the train ride home.

See, I thought I would be paid tonight but I wasn't. So I am in some real trouble. I must pay Ikuchin back. And then there's the bank's fee which I was never aware of until I received an email about it when I got here, and a few other 'bills' waiting to be paid. Beyond that, I'm on my own for lunch every day, so it's really troublesome. I'm attempting to find scholarships, grants, jobs, or anything I can do to bring in the money, but I'm not certain what is available. If you know of anything I can do, or where I could go, I'd be extremely happy to hear it. My parents aren't an option.

Beyond that, I'm super tired, and on the verge of making myself sick from the worry. There was this sick moment when I realized tonight that I wasn't being paid tonight, and that I didn't even have the 210 yen necessary to buy a ticket home. (BTW, 1 yen roughly translates to 1 cent) My stomach kind of curdled and I felt like I might throw up if I opened my mouth too much. I refuse to cry, because that won't help anything. Instead, I'm going to look at my options, and figure out what I can do. Any suggestions are appreciated.

*sigh* My class really isn't hard at all....it's just alot of work....I get about 3-6 pages of homework a day. I can do all of that homework within 45-60 minutes, depending on the content. I would say within half an hour, but kanji is infinitely more difficult, so I can't make that claim. I think I'm gonna take a shower and try to relax. Stress makes me so ill, and I really can't afford to be sick right now either. I'm rather mortified that people are going to know I'm broke, so please don't rub it in if you can help it. When I have to admit it to my mom, I can already hear the "See? What was that 'I can make it on my own' talk about? Come home! That's the only money I'll give you!" or something of that nature. How depressing. There's the slight chance she'd react with "My poor baby. We'll send you money, but make a budget, and we'll work something out when you come home next year" but honestly? That's like a 3% chance. So depressing. AUGH! No more depression! I really wanna talk to bf though!!! He's never online when I'm bursting to consult him....whether I'm in America or Japan. ARGH! That's depressing too! That's it! Shower time! Then I'll blog about my week in more political ways on the other blog. :P

.......I lied. I didn't post this before my shower because I couldn't find a good song. After more that ten different videos, I've decided on this one. *sigh* It sounds like an apology, but it's just a soft song. G'night.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A momentary loss of mental abilities

In class......
 
i said '___ha nani?'
she turned and said "___ha nandesuka"
I looked at the teacher, who had already come over and was looking at what i didn't know, looked back over at her, and snapped out in my most bitchy and fuck off voice "___ha naaandesuka"
of course with perfect diction
which she doesn't have
i didn't even mean to
i just had a momentary "Bitch....please." moment, and spoke before i thought about it.
 
True story.
I start riding my bike tomorrow! Save me!

I rode it to school tonight to learn the way (soooo looooong) and my bottom now hurts. But damn, if that doesn't help my diet, I don't know what will. 

I'm SO TIRED! And all the females of my aquaintance seems to have synchronized, making this a week of hell for everybody.

Okay, I really am way too tired for this. I love ya'll. Ttyl,

Monday, October 11, 2010

I've reached my giggly mode

Which means this may not entirely make sense. But I'll try, okay?

Important/Amusing things today:

-I played with Hanna. Like, she did homework, and I was randomly making her body itch in different places and busting out laughing when she couldn't hold back anymore and had to rub the itch away. SOOOO FUNNY! I'm still giggling out loud from this.
-I'm dressing as a cat tomorrow. Imagine me on a train dressed like a cat....yeah, now you're getting my issues. lol. I'm kinda looking forward to it.
-Today, my Gaukokujin bubble disappeared! (It'll likely be back in fully force tomorrow, but it wasn't there today!) I was alone on the train (meaning no other foreigners) and it was crowded, and at first, I had a bit of a bubble even though it was crowded. Then the doors closed, and the guy facing away from me and behind me edged slowly closer to me til he was brushing me. At first I was worried about gropage, but I checked and his hands were in front of him, so I stopped worrying. Eventually we were somewhat leaned against each other, which was really useful for me, since I didn't have a handle to keep my balance and kept having to try to shift to stay on my feet. He supported me very well, and I'm certain I can't even describe the poor guy. lol. He certainly never stopped talking to his friends, so he didn't have a problem with it. When we reached my stop, I just walked out and never really looked back. I thought about turning before I got off and whispering thank you, but felt too weird about that, so I didn't. Just walked away. lol.
-I talked to my mom today. She hasn't even prepared the box I sent her details about ....lemme check. Eh, it's only been 10-13 days. She'll let me borrow the movie I wanna show Ikuchin and Naobe.
-Chay's been refusing breakfast since he hasn't been allowed to have milk (he's allergic). Mom's worried about it. I told her to let him have it, and when she argued that it contributed to his coughing and stuff, I pointed out that not drinking it hasn't stopped the coughing yet, and letting him go without breakfast was just silly.

Which reminds me. Is being allergic to milk and being lactose-intolerant two different things? And if they are, how so?

Beyond that, I can't think of much to mention. I talked to one of the girls I don't like, and she apparently took a liking to me. V_V;;; I tried to discreetly get away, but I think she realized I wasn't interested. I hope her feelings weren't hurt if she did.

Uh....You might need to watch this a few times. I'm still gaping.


OOH! I have new chapters to edit!!! Kyaaaaah! So happy~!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I'm listening to Japanese right now,

so my writing might be slightly erratic. Nevermind. I just waiting until I was done.

The other day, I was reading the script of this book for class on the train, and I had more than one person looking into my book curiously. Japanese, don't-know people. It was troublesome, so I decided to just listen to it tonight instead.

Sometimes Japanese movies/series are so stupid. Or at least, the actions and characters are. The stories are actually usually really good. The movies are just done so...dramatically or over the top, that I can't help shaking my head.

If ya wanna know about my weekend, please see the other blog's post. Otherwise I'll be repeating it again.

Today I read a lot of manga, even though I should have been doing homework. *sigh* I'm really so terrible. I also have now written two chapters to one of my stories because the plot bunnies have been stomping in my brain so long I thought they'd do brain damage. It must be Japan. I've had way too many story ideas floating around lately. I'll post the second one in a few days. Otherwise I won't get comments on chapter 5.

I'm tired. It looks like Ikuchin fell asleep in the living room floor again. See, it isn't just me! It's a comfy floor!

I had sushi tonight! I really wonder why I can handle wasabi but not other spices. I mean, I don't LIKE wasabi, but I can handle it.

Yesterday, Ikuchin and I had a little mini tea ceremony, where we mixed our own tea, and had sweets (that weren't really sweet) to help them go down. It was delicious and relaxing. I also made friends with a high school boy! He's really short, but he's cute, and he was so quiet, I HAD to talk to him. ^.^ He then responded to me quite admirably.

Oh, right. I'm going to a Press Conference on Tuesday. I'm a little nervous about it, really. I think I'll go as a devil. I tried out a new hair style, but it kinda looked like Sailor Moon, so I don't know that I'll ever wear it out of the house.....Devils are easier to manage than cats, after all. Maybe I'll be a rain devil....or demon. *nods* That'd be pretty cool, and not take much effort.

I've written so much today! I've also edited so much! It's so exciting! I edited four chapters, wrote two, and still haven't done any homework....I'm terrible. But it was so fun. It put me in a great mood.

I didn't get all my laundry dried, but what isnt dry will be dry by tomorrow afternoon. That's a good thing, right?

Okay, I'm regressing to boring stuff now. Ikuchin keeps buying sweets, and since she's not allowed to have sweets when I'm not (her insistence, not mine), she keeps tempting me with them. Its so funny, since she's the one that made me swear them off to start with. Argh, if I keep drinking so much water, I wont be able to make it all night without waking to pee agaaaaain...! Grrr......I hate that. Especially when I'm too tired to get up, so I just ignore it and go back to sleep anyway.

Alrighty, I need to pee (once again) and I'm rather tired, so I'll say goodnight now! Heehee....Ikuchin just started snoring! So cute! ^o^



I like these instruments. Yay!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Couples in Japan....Scandalous!

Not really. Okay, maybe a little. At the mall, they definitely hold hands and stuff. And I DID see a guy grab at his girl's butt. And there was this semi-cute occasion today with a guy leaning back to rest his head on his girl's chest while on the escalator today.
So couples here are a lot more demonstrative than I previously thought. Hand holding is no big deal, and sometimes more than that is okay here. It kind of blows my mind.
Beyond that, I'm really not sure what to write about. I guess....I'm still waiting for my immune system to get back to normal, and until it does I may have a bit of a cough and such. *shrug* Go figure. Once you're sick, you're always sick. I'm turning into bf!! It always takes him forEVER to get healthy again! Nooooo!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Friends are hard to recognize

But enemies are worse.

I've recently been dissuaded from blogging because I ended up so mad at my family for chewing me out over drinking I'm not doing. Yes, reread that sentence. Now you've got it. There was really no point in arguing with them, because, essentially, I'm halfway across the effing world. I'm going to do what I'm going to do, and they should be happy I even bother telling them about it. I mean, I'm not gonna say shit anymore if it just gets me chewed out. Who would?

Anyway, back to enemies. I've recently been meeting a TON of people, right? Well, within the group of people that I instinctively like (and that's just instinctively), there's also people I instinctively do NOT like. And without any reasons to start with, I just dislike them. Of course, being human I can easily find reasons to dislike them. Their voice is annoying (they can't help that). They say shit about America(ns) and think it's okay cause they're FROM America (they have a point, but they aren't the entirely of America. Therefore, they really can't speak for all Americans damn it). They're condescending (but they help with work, correcting me, even when I'm not really wrong.....) and don't believe me when I try to help them with THEIR work (but believe others that give them the same answer). They talk shit about other people's accents, when their own is pretty awful (And that's not just English or Japanese). So you see, I can easily FIND reasons to dislike them, but the gist of it is, I didn't like them even before they really started talking to me. Which really isn't fair. And I'm all about the fairness. But just being in their proximity puts me on edge and makes me want to snap at others. Which isn't fair to others that I have no problem with. Because really, there's only a few.
To explain this more easily, say I meet 20 people. I instinctively, without rhyme or reason, like about 7 of them. I also instinctively dislike 2 or 3 of them. So for the other 10 or 11 people, I'm initially curious, and very much open to knowing them. Some won't like me, and I can sense that. Some will like me, and I'll be freinds with anyone who's personality doesn't clash with mine. I like other people. It's just a little awkward when I can sense that they really like me, and I just rather kinda like them. All the others will be passing acquaintances that I don't really know very well. They'll get a head nod, maybe a few conversations now and then, but nothing really memorable.
That about sums up the arrangement now, and in just about every situation I've ever been in. So I really can't remember ever instinctively disliking someone, and them turning into really good friends of mine.

So to continue with a new topic, I'm dieting. And Ikuchin is helping me. So I'm trying to help Ikuchin help me, so it's not like this grudging, I'll listen, but only because you're doing this for my sake kind of thing. But somehow she talked me into no sweets....until I lose 3 more kilos. Yes, kilos. Don't ask me what that is in pounds. I don't want to know. I just know I've lost like 2-4 already. So I was thinking "No sweets? No problem" and of course this means today I didn't lose anything. Even without any sweets. But when I came home today, I was so hungry I was shaking (though I ate plenty for lunch) and commenced to eating like 7 bowls of vegetables and meat and rice. Which is perfectly fine. But then I was still hungry. So I had a banana....and some other thing I cannot name. Literally. I don't know. So I got full for a while, but not nearly long enough. I'm hungry again! I ate like, 4 or 5 hours ago....Ah. So that's why I'm hungry. Figures. Veggies go fast. And I didn't really eat much meat. *sigh* Silly Runa.
But my friends and I have a custom of buying new sweets and sharing them about ourselves to figure out what we like. So today I couldn't have any, and I didn't really bring any....so it kinda sucked for me. But it's temporary....Or so I will continue to tell myself.
I also got new clothes from Naobe's company! She's a designer, so the clothes that get rejected, but only have one or two things wrong with them are up for grabs there. *dances around* I have some new clothes~! But I'm too big for most clothes, so at the same time, sucked, just a little.
And then I went to a musical in Japan. In Japanese. Yes. I did. And I understood the gist of it. For the most part. It was very touching. Name? A Common Beat. There was definitely a country that represented America though.....*hangs head* I was a little embarrassed about that. But there was bellydancing, and notes from the staff, and a lot of hard work really went into it. I really enjoyed it. Even if I was like one of three foreigners there. In a room full....like, 300-500 full. Meh, it was really cool, even if I needed help to read ....well, anything.
We kept getting on the wrong train! Ikuchin kept trying to take short cuts! And we had to backtrack so many times! (laughs) It was pretty funny. Then we were late, and we had to run from Naobe's company all the way to the train platform. THAT was embarrassing. But mainly because....well, I'm female. When a female runs.....Yeah. I think you've got it.
But beyond that, I slept a lot, and still ended up sleepy all day today. So maybe tonight, when I only sleep about 7 or 8 hours, I'll feel better tomorrow. I wanna be all healthy and happy and energetic again!!!

Oh right, I saw a train sign saying "Females only from (Some time at night) to 23:30." Which is kinda cool, until you think of the reason such a train car is necessary. Which brings me full circle to a fun concept we've all embraced here.

The Gaikokujin Bubble. The literal bubble around foreigners that Japanese people refuse to penetrate without very stressing reasons. Like more people on the train car than can be comfortably fit. Like tonight. For a while, A. and I had our own little bubbles. But then at the next platform, so many people squeezed on that I was pressed against two guys. Now yes, that is essentially no big deal. But when you consider I am taller than both males, and it's my backside against them....Well, I won't make you worry. My bottom was repetitively brushing the poor guy's arm. and my back/side was against the other one the entire time. And since I had sweat all day today, I am rather certain I stank, though everyone else insisted I smelled fine. Isn't that terrible? But it's the first time I've been in such a crush on a train, so I find it rather memorable.

Meh, it's 1 am here, so I'm going to bed. I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs (And it proves I'm rather happy)


If you're not getting the picture, my music tastes run directly opposite to my feelings.