The Hellion, revisited

Heyla Peeps,

A few days ago, I took my niece with me on my errand run. I needed to go to two places. Dollar Tree, and Walmart. We hit up the Dollar Tree first, because I wanted a ton of lollipops, and they're the cheapest there. Besides a balloon incident, and a "I'm gonna stand RIGHT HERE!" incident, Mimi behaved. We went out to the car, and I was gonna have us just walk from there to the Walmart, but I remembered Mom wanted milk, so I changed my mind, and we drove closer. As soon as we got out of the car for the second time, she started acting up. She didn't want to hold my hand, then she did, but she was yanking on it, THEN she decided hanging from my purse was the best idea. Purse + Large/Heavy Force = UNHAPPY Runa. She then decided, once we were inside the store, that running was a marvelous idea. I know children. If you chase them, they will laugh, giggle, and run faster. My response? "Goodbye." So of course she ran after me. Then she hanked on my purse again, and made my keys fall out. I stared her down, she bent and picked them up, and then was like "Ooh...Lunchbox!" I stared at her, and said "No. Just...No. You have NOT behaved, and we've only been here for 5 minutes." She was all, "I know I havent been good, but my momma said I needed one and deserved one 'cause she said." I stared, snorted, and told her I wasn't her mother. Then I started walking away. She chased after me, then saw the toys and tried to coerce one out of me. I absolutely refused, at which point she stood there and said she was NOT moving. I glanced at her and said bye again. She held off for about ten second before she chased me down again. (I'd given up telling her not to run in the store by this point) She then hit me, headbutted me in fact, and ran back off. Then she tried to side swipe me again, and I caught her. She laughed, scratched at me, bit at me, and I let go. She ran away giggling, and I walked after her into some clothes. We ran into some peeps that know some peeps that I know. (Yeah, they recognized me, me,....not so much). Mimi tried to hide behind them, and I wasnt having it. Eventually I had her cornered in some clothes racks, but didn't know how to punish her. So when she reached out and smacked at me, I was like "Fu** This." And I called her mother. I then explained that she wasn't behaving, and I would like permission to whoop that a$$. Of course she gave it, we hung up, and I explained to Mimi that I could whoop her ass now, or she could behave. She came out of the clothes, picked up the ones that had fallen, and we continued on our way. She behaved all the way until I saw some boots that I wanted, and then she plopped her butt down, and said, "I'ma try some shoes for ME on! And if you won't buy them, I'll steal them!" I looked at her, and said "Now I understand why Nana and your Momma hate to take you out. Don't even joke about stealing again." She said something to the equivalent of "screw you" but more childishly. I looked at her, picked my boots, and walked off. She chased me again, and when we got to the milk, smudged herself up against the door, talking about how she wants to be part of the door. I walked away (again) and she ran to me, but nearly got hit by a cart, because she didn't listen when I warned her. Then I glanced at these kidz chairz, and she grabbed one, and held on for dear life. She said "I like this, and you're gonna buy it for me or I'm not gonna move, and then I'm gonna steal it." I just looked at her for a minute. I smiled and once again told her goodbye and walked away without once looking back. It took her until I was halfway across the huge ass Walmart to realize I was serious, and then she ran after me. We met up at the cashier. I set down my items, and Mimi grabbed my purse once again. She then looked into it and shocked the hell out of me by saying "Ooh! You're stealing!!" I was like, how the HELL do I respond to that without it seeming like I'm lying?! I settled for a scandalized sounding "Mimi_LASTNAME!" The Cashier (as far as I know) didn't even react. She had everything rung up, and I was like Whoaaaa, wait a minute. Those boots I'd picked out rang up for $25, when I thought they were $10. She went to go check on the price, and the hellion set in with a vengeance. First she ran around seeing if I would chase. I would not. Then she wanted a snack, even if she had to steal it. By this point, I've lost my temper. I'm barely holding in my impulse to bend her over my knee, and every time she reached to touch something, I settled for smacking her hand. She retaliated by rushing me and headbutting me. I bent over her and lightly popped her bottom. She retaliated by kicking me. I tried to wrap my arms around her and immobilize her. The hellion BIT ME! So, like any self-respecting bitch, I smacked her mouth. She jerked away and approached the drink cooler thing. Said she wanted a drink, and I told her no, that she didn't deserve one. She said she'd steal one, and I walked over, bent her over, and told her not to EVER talk about stealing another thing while I beat on her bottom. (The sounds were worse than the hits) I then walked back over and waited for the cashier. There were two guys that considered getting in line behind me, but they saw Mimi and changed their mind. I almost felt bad about it, but I was definitely more amused by their avoidance of the kid. She walked back over and started messing with the handicap pad thing that goes inside the runny thing. (I'm sorry if that made no sense) At first, I was like "Meh, let her slam it in. Oh, wait, that might make things bad for the cashier....*sigh* Now I have to interfere..." So I went, and after she slammed it again, I rested my hand in its way, and prevented her from opening it again. She was NOT happy. She grabbed my hand, and tried to squeeze it. So, my maturity lost at this point, I squeezed back. HARD. She promptly let go, and retreated back to the drinks. As long as she didn't open the machine, I didn't care. The cashier came back and we agreed upon $15. I paid, and started to walk out. I let her run around me until we got to the road. No matter how mad I am, I'm not gonna risk her life. (I'll happily risk the life of any wanna-be kidnappers though. They wouldn't last.) So I waited while she grabbed onto a pole and said she was gonna wait there. I told her she wasn't. She followed me to argue with me, and when she got in range, I grabbed that hand up (she had gone to yank my purse from my shoulders, so it got dislodged) and then had to hold it up, stretching her on her toes to keep from losing my purse or her hand, and we walked in that fashion to my car. The whole time, she's crying out "Stop! It hurts! I'm gonna fall! I'm gonna trip!" and I was actually waiting for her to fall. Sadly, she did not, and we made it all the way to the car without incident. I then released her, telling her not to move an inch. Oh, she thought she was funny. She immediately reached for my car door and flicked it. Looked up at me and grinned. I'll admit, I stopped searching for my keys and considered what to do about it. While I was mentally considering my options, my keys fell out of my purse, and she reached out and kicked them. At that point, all maturity and reasoning ran for cover, and I broke. I unlocked the door, let her climb in, gently shut the door, and walked around to my side. I opened the back door, placed my items in the bottom seat, and shut the door. When I shut that door, she locked the car. It didn't even faze me. I unlocked the car, immediately opened my door, and climbed in. I helped her buckle her seatbelt, buckled mine, and then reached over and BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THAT HAND! I know it hurt. I meant for it to. She started crying, compared me to the devil, and then said I killed cats. The whole time, I'm agreeing with her. Telling her to remember that next time she wants to disobey me. She reached over and fiddled with my purse. I would not have put it past her not to through my purse out the window by this point, so I smacked her hand again. She reached out to touch it with her other hand, and I wait a moment, and right when she gets that "Hellz Yeah Bitches, I got away with it!" look on her face, I SMACK that one. She goes right back to crying, and I go right back to agreeing that I'm the meanest force on the planet. We make the trip home in relative silence. The only real thing, was when I told her I was NOT taking her out again. She cried out "No! Please!" And I'll admit, I was incredulous that she would think I'd do something like this again. We got home, I told the other adult females about what happened, and her mother said she would be going to bed early. Mimi had another fit, started crying (Actually started crying as soon as we went through the door, but she always paused to listen to what I was telling them) and telling them about what I'd done to her. *snort* At least she was honest enough, that whenever one of them asked her "Did you do what Runa just said you did?" she nodded her head. *laughs* She would follow up with like "But that was cause Runa did such-and-such!" At which point I would explain myself, and Mimi would have no where to run (metaphorically speaking). It was the very first time I have ever had a child act like that when I took them out with me. The FIRST! I was AMAZED. My mom laughed at me, and was like "You see? You can't say shit about how she's a good kid now." And I had to agree with her. I'm not taking that brat out again. I shouldn't be taking children out in my car anyway. My car is messing up. I'm not certain how to explain it. It needs a check-up, honestly, but I have no money for that kind of thing.

I've packed my boxes, and I need to mail them. I'm only gonna take one bag on the plane with me, and it'll be a carry-on. I'm just about ready to go, and I'll be leaving in two weeks.

I'm coming up to Raleigh this weekend, and will hopefully be able to see my advisor and everyone and get all my paperwork finished. It'll be my last trip besides the one that'll take me to the airport.

One of my library books is missing. It makes me upset, because I've never actually LOST one before. Lent one out and the other person lost/forgot it, sure. But I've never lost one before. >.<

Hm. I have three hours before everyone in the house gets up for the day. I wonder if its worth it to go to sleep, or if I should just stay up for the day. I have a ton of errands to run again today. Hm. I may as well stay up. I dont seem to show much difficulty with staying up anymore.

I like getting the kids up for school. If they're not in a bad mood, we all end up cuddled on the bed, playing together til we all have to rush to get them off in time. It's really fun. I guess I can make breakfast at like 5 30, and then they're have food to help them wake up.

Whenever I stay up all night...and then get everyone up and off for the day, I start to think about the future. *blush* See, it suits me very well to stay up all night, and sleep most of the day. And I sometimes think about the future, when I'll be married, with a (as yet undecided) night job, and children of my own. I'll be up all night, and I'll wake everyone up with breakfast, and I'll send everyone off to work, and then with the house to myself, I'll sleep. Then, when the kids come home from school, I'll get up, help them with their homework, they'll help me set up dinner, and when my husband comes home, we'll all eat together, and maybe play a few games together sometimes, and then I'll go to work (or 'get to work' as the case may be) and everyone will settle down for the night, and we'll repeat it all the next day. I really hope my future can be like that. *blush* Yeah, it's kinda strange, but I really feel like it suits me. And hopefully it'll suit my spouse as well.

Okay, I think that's enough delving into my terrible mind for the day. Questions, thoughts, comments? Post it babes.

Okay, I can't post any videos. It has ALSO BEEN DISABLED! WEAOIJDSFLDNFVODFUHNVEIALRMNFIPDJFVD:FMVADF:J!!!! See my previous post, including the description of my TECHNO_INEPT FAMILY!!!!!AUGH !! How they manage to mess up my compie time so completely without even meaning to is SERIOUSLY impressive.

Song I wanted: Dynamite by Taoi Cruz.

Drama is back in full measure

My Sissie, who now has a newborn and no home, is considering giving up her kids. I think it's a fairly wise decision. Now WHO gets her kids, is what I worry over. Mom won't take Mimi if Social Services doesn't give her custody. Z-nee is a newborn, and I worry over what's going to happen to her. And it seems like Cin has no idea what to do with herself. My own opinions on the whole thing seem rather dampened and uncaring. I really don't feel strongly in any measure. I'm leaving and can't commit to doing anything. I can only do things short term. So I don't have anything to offer. I can't say I didn't expect it to come to this, but it's really sad that the 'mother' of my childhood can't hold onto her own kids.

Uh, it looks like my family's criticisms of bf are starting to get to him, so I'll have to try to refrain from talking about everything to him from now on. I'll prolly slip occasionally, but there's really nothing I can do but try. As I told them earlier, at least I'll never have to worry about bf going to jail for thievery.

I've slept all day. It was the kids' first day at school today. They were both so excited. I hope everything goes well for them both.

I haven't spoken Japanese for weeks now. And I haven't studied properly at all. I wish I could find my textbooks. Mom wants us to redo the bathroom, pack up everything in my room case she needs it for the kids, and send off my boxes. I agree that two out of three of those things are necessary. Any guesses as to which two?

I've been staying cold in the house lately. I literally walk around in sweats most of the time. *shrug* They're comfy, but I need to send them to Japan, so I don't know what I'm gonna do without them. How many sets of clothes should I take, do you think?

I'm bored. And this isn't really helping to clear my head like it used to. I feel restricted in what I can say. Like, what I say can hurt other people's feelings. This doesn't feel like the diary I hoped it would when I started it. I have a private blog that I don't allow anyone access to, but just typing my feelings doesn't seem to be helping that much. This isn't a complaint, and I'm not saying the blog makes me unhappy, but I feel pressure to write or not write things that I may (not) want to discuss. Maybe my inactivity is chafing at me. I haven't done much of anything lately. I just keep waiting around, and I'm not sure what I'm waiting for. Ever had that feeling?

I think I've decided. I'm going to start another blog for my time in Japan, so no one I don't know reads this one when I don't want them to. I'll provide a link or something so you guys can still see. I may on occasion update this one, but I'm not certain of my internet access in Japan anyway. I love you guys, and I wish I could have seen more of you over the summer. Please call me sometime soon. (Repeatedly, if you can manage it. I tend to ignore the phone when I'm sleeping) Please keep in touch, okay?

If I stub my toe....I'll scream

Seriously, I dont understand why they're getting such a beating lately.

I've found myself really liking Enrique Iglesias lately. I like "Tired of Being Sorry" (Cool video) and "Bailamos" (Cuz who could hate a song titled "Let's Dance") especially.

My kitty is so adorable. I've seen three pure black cats in the last two days. Black seems to be the new fashion.

I've read books, done favors for my family, and essentially slammed my head against the wall for the last two days. It's fun.....in a fuck life kinda way. My sisters mystify me. But I get the feeling I do the same to them, so it's prolly fair.

I think I'm losing my maidenly reserve. I just have a 'don't care' factor now. I need to send off my stuff to Iku-chin. (My host mother) I also think I'll be setting up a new blog under my school's email, for the school's purpose. Aki-san said he'd meet me in Tokyo during my layover, and Rozzy said she'd maybe visit me before her own school term in Japan starts, and D-chan also said she'd come visit me. I have permission for Ari-chan, my previous host sister to visit, but she hasn't replied to my email, so I don't know if she would.

So, in my dealings with Mimi, I've reaffirmed my thoughts of wanting to just claim her as my own and keep her. Her life makes me want to cry and hurt someone, not necessarily in that order.

AUGH!!!! Internet Explorer SUCKS!!!! I missed talking to bf because it didn't alert me, and I can't copy any videos, but Mother managed to COMPLETELY LOCK DOWN Chrome without ever knowing how she did it or WHY!!!!! Why is my family SO TECHNO DEFICIENT?~?~?~

Music I'm enjoying lately

This one's quite fascinating to watch, actually:

Dayum! He is SEXY!:

Give it a minute to get to the fun part:

Youtube is well on its way to being my new addiction

....and that may be very bad, considering last time I was in Japan, I couldn't access it, because of region restrictions.

It's 3 am, my brother is in the next room, my nephew is being cordial (surprising, but kinda cool), and my mom didn't let me know when she got off the compie. *sigh* Oh well.

Silent Disco was GREAT! The shift things did NOT work out well. No one really relieved anyone else, and bf and I got roped into working when we weren't supposed to have to. And we nearly got into trouble when two others DID relieve us. It was silly. And I don't really know that they could have done anything beyond shame us. *shrug* And we behaved pretty well, considering it was a party. (Though, bf said his idea of behaving was our limited grinding. Kinda funny, I think, since he's never really seemed to like grinding, and I dislike it on moral grounds) There were also lots of times when we had nothing useful to do. It was almost enough to piss me off, but really, I just felt useless. FUCIWENRDGIVDJFVM!!!! If I stab my toes ONE F-ING MORE TIME!!!! I meant stub. But it feels like I'm stabbing them, so I'll let that be a Freudian slip. That's the fourth time in 24 hours.

My vacation was great. I was super happy Rozy could come with us, even though our time together was cut short. Munchkin behaved, and Mom was surprisingly indulgent. The beach was awesome, and it even provided me with a complementary pedicure. Which I ruined when I stubbed my toes the third time. Damn it. And of course, I got the typical sunburn, with a distinctly unique sunburn on my face. I haven't had my nose get burnt in so long, it's quite unusual. On the last day, we went to the aquarium and Chay turned back into a monster brat. Ooh, I also finally got mom to admit that he IS a brat. Quite an accomplishment.

I'm thinking of doing an entire blog post of just music videos/songs I've taken to, since Youtube has become my dirty little secret lately. Blogs remind me,...

The Head of Housing for NC State talked with me about blogging while I'm in Japan. I keep wondering if she was serious. Probably not, but if she was, it certainly wouldn't be a hardship. Now, keeping it G-Rated might be, but doing it wouldn't.

Bf spiked his hair on Saturday. It was surprisingly sexy; made me want to run my fingers through his hair even more than I usually want to. Our microwave is broken... (That's not as random as it sounds, but the trail of thought that led to it is too convoluted for explanation on a blog) I never realized how often a microwave makes life easier. But they're also patently unhealthy. Microwave-heated water is much more gross than plain boiled water. You should test it, if you don't believe me.

Did Adam Lambert actually win American Idol? I thought there were two or three others in that season that were better than him, but he's all I've heard lately.

*snicker* My uh, Quote of the Day: "I never know what's going to come out of your mouth. I find that fascinating, in a morbid kind of way." -SOOOOOO funny.

I can't help snickering every time I see this video:

I'll keep you my dirty little regret

Yes, I just remixed the phrase. The video is at the bottom. I may fault the lyrics, but not the video. Video is awesome. I recommend watching it.

I'm fine, and I've been called by bigdaddy, and pineapples, and even Rozy!! I'm so happy! I think I've startled everyone into it though....Seems like my last post gave the idea I was leaving for Japan immediately or something. I'm not. I'm leaving sometime the second week of September.

My computer time has been severely limited. Mom keeps staying up later and later, forcing ME to stay up later and later to use the computer, leading to me sleeping til freakin' 4 30 in the afternoon!!! I've been ready to fall out before I ever even get online, but once I'm online, I stay on for hours, making it so I don't get to sleep til past 6 am. It's a ridiculous situation. And after I talked it over with mom, she got off the compie. .....But Chay is still awake, at 4 am. *sigh* I can't sleep with his TV so loud, and he can't go to sleep with it turned down. So it's yet another waiting game.

I made a delicious cake tonight. It's so delicious that I somehow doubt there'll be any left for when bf visits me on Tuesday. I really want him to try it though, so I'll have to put some effort into saving some. *frown* I think the cake is making me sick though. There's nothing wrong with it, cause everyone else that had some is fine, but maybe my body is going into sugar overload or something. It's incredibly moist, and super dark chocolatey.

Sometimes its the little things that make the largest impressions. My sis brought home a lot of little juices. I mentioned how much I loved the Cran-Grape ones. Sis also loved them, she said. And now those are the only ones left, and they're all for me, cause she's left. She saved them for me. It's very touching. I want her to have some of the cake I made, as a thank you. Hm. Maybe I could make the family a Thank you Cake. *tilts head* It's certainly a good idea. They DO love me, even if they show it in odd ways. Even if it doesn't stop them from betraying me. Though, in their defense, they prolly don't think of a lot of what they do as betraying anything. To them, it's their due, they deserve to do whatever they want, it's owed to them implicitly. *shrug* I can't agree with their logic, but it's very hard to argue about it when they won't understand the other

side's perspective. In fact, even my mother has that arrogance. I asked for a bit of money, since I've watched Chance for her so often. She looked at me and said "You don't deserve any money for that. You're family, it's expected for you to help out." *shakes head* I got a bit of money from her by pressing the point that I've also run her errands for weeks. I know *I* am arrogant, but damn. They make me downright humble in comparison. I mention these things as though I'm angry, but really I just find it bemusing. My emotions seem rather blunted today.

I stay tired. That may be why my emotions are off-kilter. I got hit on today. It surprised me. *shrug* I've been stuck on All-American Rejects tonight. They remind me of Panic at the Disco.

I've run errands, cooked, cleaned, babysat, and read novels. That sums up my weekend. ^.^ Meh, it's a living?

*dingdingding* Round Two

So, you know that drama? Yeah....it ain't gone. Sis called tonight about Brown-nosing boy hitting her and making her drop Z-nee. If that doesn't piss you off, she called twice for help, then called twice to beg Mom NOT to come, that she and the girls would be staying at a friend's. Of course she'd already left to help, so it was just .....*sigh* I honestly dont know what one is supposed to do with sisters like mine. The other one came by today 'to see chay' and then utterly ignored him (and occasionally us) to call up her old booty call, who is now married and expecting another babe. I can't.....*sigh* I can't imagine a passion that can overcome marriage vows. But I imagine it's a bit of an obsession, and not so much love or passion. She feels ownership over the guy, and is asserting her territory. Which is stupid, cause she lost him when he took those vows.

Also? I've been re-relegated to baby-sitting duty. Multiple times. *sigh* And it's planned for tomorrow AND the next day. I'm leaving Tuesday night! I don't care what she says! This is ridiculous! I'm not a servant, and especially considering Papa went OVER her wishes to fund my trip to Japan, because she doesn't want me to go. Of course, for that she's super proud of him, and the family instincts he has, which just makes me feel guilty and dependent on them even more. I'd honestly much rather take out a loan and pay it off to people I don't know. Auuuuugh!! It's not pride, though that's a part of it. It's just....practicality. I'm thinking of the future. I don't want to sit across from them at a table on a holiday and have to account for all my expenditures. Not that I'm likely to HAVE any, at this rate. *shakes head* I want independence, but I also realize how dependent I need to be in order to feel safe. Dunno if that makes sense.

I've been fighting off headaches for the last few weeks. And I won't be seeing bf for a few days, if not weeks. I have things that need to be done, but I can't find my documents for Japan. And my finances are tight. *sigh* Definitely tight. *shakes head*

I've been reading good books lately though. The latest one had me literally rolling around. Two pubescent boys then took over my book in an attempt to figure out the humor. They couldn't understand it. Something to do with pigeons. Heehee. They also wouldn't leave me in peace to play DDR tonight, making me lose concentration and occasionally even unable to see my screen because they kept flailing. *sigh* Oh well.

I've been planning a post entirely devoted to a certain song and the components of love within it, but I really don't think I can do it justice right now.

Yeah.....I'm tired and bored and sleepy, and I still have to review this book I just finished, so I'll be going as soon as I can find a decent video. Love ya'll.

This'll do:

Hmmm...

My hands are so very cold, I don't know how they can move to type.

Being at home is as unpleasant as ever, but it feels somewhat anticlimactic since Cin and brown-nosing-boy and Mimi and Z-nee left today. Mom actually cleaned the kitchen, and we had real food for dinner. We're just about out of everything you can think of. We need bread, butter, milk, eggs, and just about anything except junk food. THAT, we will always have. *rolls eyes*

I took Mimi to get some new shoes today. We ended up getting a bit more than that, but I was actually surprised at the lack of people everywhere. Traffic wasn't good, but I was expecting worse, honestly. We then went to the library, and there was a festival outside of it that ended as we left the library. Mimi was mad at me for her missing it. But I didn't even know it was supposed to happen.

I woke up to two unpleasant things this morning. The first: Mimi slept with me and wet my bed. Again. *sigh* The second, that got me up for good, was yelling. Cin was having an utter fit about being disrespected by Clark and his sister to her face. *sigh* I took the kids, and got dressed, and kept them in my room until Mom got up and interfered in the argument.

I think I've been sighing too much in my life lately. I've gotten back on the DDR train. But I think I hurt my weak ankle, playing so much, so I didn't do it tonight. And Chay and I are watching Outlaw Star together. It's amazing how much you forget about a series when a few years pass. Like some amazing amounts of nudity. And cussing. I swear (Ha, pun!), if he didn't hear worse on a daily basis, I'd just stop letting him watch it. I can't stand the english dub though. The voices themselves just DONT suit the characters!! Except in a few cases....okay, they kinda suit, but I can't stand it!!! The English actually hurts my poor ears. I watched it in Jap. tonight, and was so relieved. It didn't bother me at all. But Chay didn't like it, so he went off to play his game.

Aki-san, the guy from Japan, is leaving today to go back to Japan. I'll miss him.

Yay! BF updated!

....I'm done.

Don't diss the voice before you give it a fair trail: