And we weren't poisoned! Yay! She made beef lasagna from the hamburger helper box. It wasn't bad, actually, but while I was eating it I was almost sick because I wanted veggies so much more than I wanted meat. There were no veggies at all, just pasta and meat and sauce and ugh. Next week she's planning to make spaghetti.
Heheheh. I just remembered part of her cooking today. So basically when she cooks, I sit in the kitchen on my laptop and 'supervise' while she works things out. She usually starts out trying to get me to do everything for her, while I just blankly stare at her until she does it herself. Perfect example: "Where's the pan?'' *Blank stare* She looks on the wall where it hangs. ''Oh. Got it.'' Eventually she starts getting into the groove of it. I check on her, let her know when the meat is cooked properly (I don't want to die), and actually supervise once she stops trying to play stupid. Well today she was stirring and she asked me to prepare the milk for her. I glanced at her, decided it was a fair request, and prepared it for her. She kinda laughed and said "This is just like when you're cooking and you make me help you! It's fair!" I laughed and agreed. I don't mind helping a bit, and it makes her more confident to know I'm watching over it.
I do want to say, if you got me a gift and I haven't thanked you for it, it isnt because I don't like it or anything like that. I'm actually struggling really hard to get over my inferiority issues. I'm pretty sure everyone's aware already, but just to reiterate: I have a near crippling fear that I am constantly bothering someone if I contact them. I don't think my mom's clear 'Yes, I'm busy, if it's not important hang up' methods help that. It's kinda cool though that I actually have called my sisters this week. Yes, they called me first, but I actually called back, which is way more than I usually am able to do. So yes, I liked everything I received, and no, I am not purposely ignoring anyone. I'm just gathering courage.... slowly. :/
Mia decided on her own that this video was too explicit for her. Sometimes it tickles me how innocent she can be.
I like this song, but she looks so tense that I don't enjoy the video. It's a good attempt to be funny, but it doesn't suit my tastes.
I like this one too. I didn't watch the video because I didn't want to get disillusioned.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
We had a hiring seminar today
It was pretty awful. Less than half the registered participants showed up, and it cut into our work time so severely that I was still working at 5:30 when I should have been off at 4 p.m. My timer clock automatically logs me out at 5 though. In addition to that, the new office (we moved into it this week) is ridiculously creepy when you're there alone. So at 5:20 I said fuck it all and took my work home with me. Got stuck in traffic and didn't get home til after 6 p.m. when it typically takes about 12 minutes to get to work. Then while MJ made dinner for the first time (with liberal help from me to prevent accidental poisoning), I worked to meet my daily requirements.
I was basically told to have all of these things done by the time I come in tomorrow, so I pretty much worked for 3 hours of overtime to do it, and only got paid for one of those, but I got it all done. I don't even care about getting paid for overtime, honestly. I just genuinely don't know if I'm just that slow, or if I'm being taken advantage of. It's really hard to see if my abilities are increasing, stagnating, or decreasing since they keep changing my daily tasks. I know last Monday I was sick as hell but still came in, and my production was super low, but I was nearly back to normal the rest of the week. I think they're holding that against me.
The motivational speaker today talked about how everyone has greatness in them, and light, and that they could beat the darkness. He invited questions, and I asked about tips to be a better speaker. He seemed to think I was asking personally, but I'm actually a good public speaker. It's one-on-one conversations where I struggle, or where I try to make myself understood clearly but only end up confusing people. That's nearly fatal in this industry.
He asked us why we work for CPR (or want to). He asked what we wanted out of it. My answer was basically: Money to provide for my family.... What was our passion and how could we bring it to bear on CPR? For example, if your passion is fashion, you could put on a fashion show for CPR. I was like 'You sound SO stupid.' but played along since it kinda felt like our jobs were on the line. He apparently specializes in reaching Millineals (People born between 1986 and 2006) but while it was interesting, I didn't think it was very inspiring. I am thinking about suggesting we get a secretary to screen phone calls though. It's very detrimental on our job performance to constantly have to answer the phones when it's often not our client or property.
Since MJ is now 12, she has to cook dinner on Wednesdays. I'm going to be helping her for the first month or two, but after she gets comfortable with the stove and some easy meals, I'm going to ease supervision until she can cook by herself. It's something I wish my mom had done for me. Learning to cook while being a newly-wed is a bit of an exercise in frustration. MJ found it frustrating too, but when she started raising her voice at me, I told her to come stand in front of me.
I talked to her about how this is training for the rest of her life, and I'm here to help her learn so she can be self-sufficient later. I'm doing this to help her, and I don't deserve her frustration and yelling at me. After that talk, she didn't yell again, but she did ask a lot of repetitive questions that could have been answered if she read the instructions on the box, so I got annoyed.
We got MJ's eye prescription today, so I'm going to take her to get her glasses. If I don't do it tomorrow, Hubby can do it on Friday, so I'm not too stressed about it, but I would dearly love to get off work on time for once.
So, confession time-
First confession: my new office creeps me out SO BADLY that whenever I'm alone, I nearly cry. It's scary and creepy and I hate it. I called my mom today because I was scared and shaking and felt so unhappy being there alone. She told me I was being a baby and it was time to put on my big girl pants, since I didn't have a clear reason of why I was scared. She hypothesized that I recognize being alone is a big responsibility, and I have to get used to it.
Second confession: We need the money from this job, but every time they give me work above and beyond what I'm 'used to' especially when it makes me stay over-time, I think about quitting. When we changed offices this week, we apparently also outgrew the manager that hired me. I REALLY liked her, and felt like she was the only one fully on my side, so I was very upset to hear that 'she quit because she couldn't handle the work-load'. Now they have me basically handling her client, but they always tell me about it halfway through the day, and I end up having to stay overtime. It's frustrating.
Sorry we didn't post about our holidays. It wasn't the best holiday I've ever had, though I certainly enjoyed the hotel we stayed at. Oh, lemme share our Christmas Eve prank: So my sisters were worried about me, because we were going to a hotel none of us had been to before, and it was 30 minutes away, near the prostitute section (301). When we got there and I got online, I saw they were on FB, and they both messaged me basically telling me to get my ass in bed, gotta be up early the next day. So I got annoyed and decided to screw with them.
I basically said 'HELP THERES PEOPLE BANGING ON THE DOOR' and when my sister replied with "That's what you get, I told you not to go to a hotel!' I responded with 'NOW THEYRE LAUGHING! SHIT!' My other sister then joined in, and added 'SEE?! Get your ass back home!' Being the intelligent person I am, I responded 'I'M TOO SCARED TO LEAVE!!!! SHIT!!! NOW THE CAR ALARM IS GOING OFF!!!!!' and one sister (MJ's mother) said 'Where you at? I'll get a ride and come get you!' I then let them in on the joke. 'Just kidding! I'm laid out on my comfy King-size bed in this fairly clean hotel with good-smelling sheets.' One sister laughed her ass off, but the other one (again, MJ's mother) was upset. She repeatedly told me the next day that 'It wasn't funny!' but I'm still grinning like an idiot when I remember it. I ultimately blame Hubby. It was kinda his idea, but I did choose to write it and then run with it. He thought I was too over the top with my 'acting' and would get discovered. Hah, joke was on him. And my sisters. It was fun. Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for reading!
This seems relevant:
I was basically told to have all of these things done by the time I come in tomorrow, so I pretty much worked for 3 hours of overtime to do it, and only got paid for one of those, but I got it all done. I don't even care about getting paid for overtime, honestly. I just genuinely don't know if I'm just that slow, or if I'm being taken advantage of. It's really hard to see if my abilities are increasing, stagnating, or decreasing since they keep changing my daily tasks. I know last Monday I was sick as hell but still came in, and my production was super low, but I was nearly back to normal the rest of the week. I think they're holding that against me.
The motivational speaker today talked about how everyone has greatness in them, and light, and that they could beat the darkness. He invited questions, and I asked about tips to be a better speaker. He seemed to think I was asking personally, but I'm actually a good public speaker. It's one-on-one conversations where I struggle, or where I try to make myself understood clearly but only end up confusing people. That's nearly fatal in this industry.
He asked us why we work for CPR (or want to). He asked what we wanted out of it. My answer was basically: Money to provide for my family.... What was our passion and how could we bring it to bear on CPR? For example, if your passion is fashion, you could put on a fashion show for CPR. I was like 'You sound SO stupid.' but played along since it kinda felt like our jobs were on the line. He apparently specializes in reaching Millineals (People born between 1986 and 2006) but while it was interesting, I didn't think it was very inspiring. I am thinking about suggesting we get a secretary to screen phone calls though. It's very detrimental on our job performance to constantly have to answer the phones when it's often not our client or property.
Since MJ is now 12, she has to cook dinner on Wednesdays. I'm going to be helping her for the first month or two, but after she gets comfortable with the stove and some easy meals, I'm going to ease supervision until she can cook by herself. It's something I wish my mom had done for me. Learning to cook while being a newly-wed is a bit of an exercise in frustration. MJ found it frustrating too, but when she started raising her voice at me, I told her to come stand in front of me.
I talked to her about how this is training for the rest of her life, and I'm here to help her learn so she can be self-sufficient later. I'm doing this to help her, and I don't deserve her frustration and yelling at me. After that talk, she didn't yell again, but she did ask a lot of repetitive questions that could have been answered if she read the instructions on the box, so I got annoyed.
We got MJ's eye prescription today, so I'm going to take her to get her glasses. If I don't do it tomorrow, Hubby can do it on Friday, so I'm not too stressed about it, but I would dearly love to get off work on time for once.
So, confession time-
First confession: my new office creeps me out SO BADLY that whenever I'm alone, I nearly cry. It's scary and creepy and I hate it. I called my mom today because I was scared and shaking and felt so unhappy being there alone. She told me I was being a baby and it was time to put on my big girl pants, since I didn't have a clear reason of why I was scared. She hypothesized that I recognize being alone is a big responsibility, and I have to get used to it.
Second confession: We need the money from this job, but every time they give me work above and beyond what I'm 'used to' especially when it makes me stay over-time, I think about quitting. When we changed offices this week, we apparently also outgrew the manager that hired me. I REALLY liked her, and felt like she was the only one fully on my side, so I was very upset to hear that 'she quit because she couldn't handle the work-load'. Now they have me basically handling her client, but they always tell me about it halfway through the day, and I end up having to stay overtime. It's frustrating.
Sorry we didn't post about our holidays. It wasn't the best holiday I've ever had, though I certainly enjoyed the hotel we stayed at. Oh, lemme share our Christmas Eve prank: So my sisters were worried about me, because we were going to a hotel none of us had been to before, and it was 30 minutes away, near the prostitute section (301). When we got there and I got online, I saw they were on FB, and they both messaged me basically telling me to get my ass in bed, gotta be up early the next day. So I got annoyed and decided to screw with them.
I basically said 'HELP THERES PEOPLE BANGING ON THE DOOR' and when my sister replied with "That's what you get, I told you not to go to a hotel!' I responded with 'NOW THEYRE LAUGHING! SHIT!' My other sister then joined in, and added 'SEE?! Get your ass back home!' Being the intelligent person I am, I responded 'I'M TOO SCARED TO LEAVE!!!! SHIT!!! NOW THE CAR ALARM IS GOING OFF!!!!!' and one sister (MJ's mother) said 'Where you at? I'll get a ride and come get you!' I then let them in on the joke. 'Just kidding! I'm laid out on my comfy King-size bed in this fairly clean hotel with good-smelling sheets.' One sister laughed her ass off, but the other one (again, MJ's mother) was upset. She repeatedly told me the next day that 'It wasn't funny!' but I'm still grinning like an idiot when I remember it. I ultimately blame Hubby. It was kinda his idea, but I did choose to write it and then run with it. He thought I was too over the top with my 'acting' and would get discovered. Hah, joke was on him. And my sisters. It was fun. Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for reading!
This seems relevant:
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