I cut my ankle in the shower. Badly. I had blood trailing down my foot until bf managed to tell me over AIM what to do. I have no common sense, so I thought I'd just let it bleed out. 4 things of toilet paper later, two cotton balls, one band-aid, and lots of blood on the floor later, I decided I needed some help from my dear bf. It huuuuurts. I slept with it bandaged tight to help the blood stop. I finally took the sports tape I'd wrapped around the cotton ball off a little while ago because it was too painful to leave on. But I left the cotton ball, and have no clue what to do now.... It'll hurt like hell to take the cotton ball off, it'd hurt like hell to use alcohol to remove it, it'd hurt just as bad to use water, and possibly start the bleeding again, and *sigh* I don't know. I think I'll just leave it til I manage to see bf today. I hope I can see him today. *puppy dog eyes* (That's a hint, btw) I keep getting really really really cold here at work. I THINK I got the tangles out for the most part, but I'm not sure. Now on to the wonderful blurb about broomball.
Broomball:
1. You wear helmets (not good for hair)
2. You use sticks to hit this tiny ball into goals like hockey uses
3. You wear tennis shoes on an ice rink (Hellz yes! Its awesome)
4. There are no real rules except tackling and not wearing a helmet
5. You gotta play with bf sometime. He falls SO MUCH. I mean, I watched him go SPLAT like three times, and I wasn't even focused on him. That doesn't count all those times he just fell on his butt. I can't count how many times I saw him do that.
6. I SCORED GOALS TWICE! (BF:0 Runa:2) WAHAHAHHAHAHAHA (It was a point of pride, nothing more, since no teams kept score)
7. I fell 3 or 4 times. I'm not certain, but I know it was less than 5, which is miraculous for my balance skills.
It was SO awesome! Bf and I had so much fun, even with all the falling and flailing and such. Hahaha, and when teams worked together, like mine did during the second half, it was amazing. I was loud, yelling, warning, probably making a general nuisance of myself, but if no one complains, I'll be happy. They played a lot of great music, and it seems like no one was holding a grudge about anything. Oh, K, this one guy, AUUUUGH I couldn't seem to beat him. ^.^ Doesn't mean I didn't try though. And really, it was kinda great. I wanna do it again, even though my body is saying "ARE YOU F-ING ME?" I haven't really got many bruises or anything. My back, thighs, and ankles hurt. I have a bruise on my knee and shin. And that's about it~! It's great! ^_^ I STILL can't believe bf fell so many times and I didn't. Heehee. You shoulda seen him go splat when he went after a ball once. He fell straight on his side, arms and legs going wide. It makes me laugh just thinking of it.
Now I need to get a bit more homework done so I won't feel bad about hanging with bf after I go to sleep and get up in a few hours. *stretch* I have too many tests and quizzes for me to be happy, but I'm certainly pretty content. Talk to ya'll later~!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Hmmmm
Let me murder my dearest boyfreind. Please? I'll explain my homicidal tendencies towards him later.
First: For pineapples (I get confused as to which nickname to use for you.....), the conference is kinda amazing, but it costs over 2 thousand dollars, and I don't think it includes travel either. That's too much for me, but if you still want info, hit me up and I'll get it to you.
Second: DIE BF DIE!!!! Yesterday (for me, it's still 'today') you oh-so-easily went and got the H1N1 vaccine. Yesterday, I refused to kiss you, but I never thought I would really catch it from you. NOW I am having difficulty breathing, I am dizzy as hell, have a headache waiting on the sidelines, a swollen and sore throat, and food BURNS when it goes down my throat. *frown*
Now, the really depressing news. Tonight is
1. The last Japan Table of this year. I haven't attended even one yet. Now I may not til next year.
2. Broomball. Something I was really looking forward to. And unless I'm sneezing and sniffling and coughing up a storm, I'll still prolly go. I was seriously looking forward to it.
But for now, I am passing the hell out. This sucks, SO BAD. I better just be tired or collegekid's balls are in danger.
First: For pineapples (I get confused as to which nickname to use for you.....), the conference is kinda amazing, but it costs over 2 thousand dollars, and I don't think it includes travel either. That's too much for me, but if you still want info, hit me up and I'll get it to you.
Second: DIE BF DIE!!!! Yesterday (for me, it's still 'today') you oh-so-easily went and got the H1N1 vaccine. Yesterday, I refused to kiss you, but I never thought I would really catch it from you. NOW I am having difficulty breathing, I am dizzy as hell, have a headache waiting on the sidelines, a swollen and sore throat, and food BURNS when it goes down my throat. *frown*
Now, the really depressing news. Tonight is
1. The last Japan Table of this year. I haven't attended even one yet. Now I may not til next year.
2. Broomball. Something I was really looking forward to. And unless I'm sneezing and sniffling and coughing up a storm, I'll still prolly go. I was seriously looking forward to it.
But for now, I am passing the hell out. This sucks, SO BAD. I better just be tired or collegekid's balls are in danger.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Quick frustrated blog post
So, procrastination has finally bit my ass. Took a chunk right out of it. I'm here at 4 am, writing on a paper, less than a page in, with the necessity of at least four, with zero capability of concentrating enough to write anything conclusive. Did that make sense? I hope so. So, what put me in this boat? I contacted a freind that eventually (I admit I didn't particularly prevent it til it got to serious ground) felt the need to be suicidal tonight. The night before my paper is due. Of course. Murphy's Law got me. I thought this paper would not be difficult. Haaaah. It wouldn't if I were in my right mind, but I have had to call and get hung up on, end up passing the torch to RB to contact that freind, then end up having to not only go and get the guy, but lose my awesome parking spot and park hellava way away. Now he is curled up in RB's bed, she's curled up in mine, and I'm trying to get enough frustration burned off to get this paper written and let me get into bed before I lose any chance of sleep for the night. I have work tomorrow night. Today, technically.
There've been highlights to my day, such as bf pampering me, me getting to talk to pineapples, learning about a Noh presentation, not being ignored in Eng, and....I'm sure other good things have happened and I just can't think of them. But right now, I'm going to try to write that paper and see if I can't cry for mercy and a leprechaun come and write the best non-forged paper for this class that has ever been written that is also applicable to the prompt and signed with my name. (Yes, corrupt a wish has taught me well about making wishes) Someone save me.
Oh, also, my sis is pregnant again, RB is fighting with her bf and feels it's her own fault, my freinds are beginning to vie for my attention which is never fun, I have two papers to write, and other fun stuff. *cries*
Random vid:
There've been highlights to my day, such as bf pampering me, me getting to talk to pineapples, learning about a Noh presentation, not being ignored in Eng, and....I'm sure other good things have happened and I just can't think of them. But right now, I'm going to try to write that paper and see if I can't cry for mercy and a leprechaun come and write the best non-forged paper for this class that has ever been written that is also applicable to the prompt and signed with my name. (Yes, corrupt a wish has taught me well about making wishes) Someone save me.
Oh, also, my sis is pregnant again, RB is fighting with her bf and feels it's her own fault, my freinds are beginning to vie for my attention which is never fun, I have two papers to write, and other fun stuff. *cries*
Random vid:
Friday, November 13, 2009
Phew, I have some catching up to do.
pineapples: Yay for an awesome weekend with A~! Good job on getting caught back up. Everyone slips from their comfortable place in the homework period at some point or another, so I fully understand. ^_^ You're withdrawing your application for the Japan program? WHHHYYYYY? ;__;
Rozfire: Sorry about the drama fest. I might've added to it a bit, so I'm sorry. (lxl) <=that's a face. I understand completely. My senior year, I cut people off rather than deal with drama. It's a suggestion. It worked well for me, but I was honestly completely fed up with it. If you can find a different way, that'd prolly be better. Just remember: I will ALWAYS be behind you. ^_^ Love you girlie. And thanks for the support. ^_^
So, I'm sure everyone is dying to know how things went with Mr. Swindler. (Ri-ight) ^_^ Well, in the interest of keeping it simple, we met, he got all of my information, I looked at the car and things went downhill from there. I tried to reason with him, but he was pretty bitchy. When I hunched down to take a few better pictures, he blocked my sun and distracted me. When I asked for more estimates, I said that it wasn't his responsibility to get more, and if I insisted on them, he would add other damage from the car to it (paint scratches on the stepping thing). He started to run his hand along the car door and asked in a sly voice if my car had done that damage too. I looked at him blankly and said "My car isn't even that tall." He looked kinda shocked for a second and then was like, "Oh, yeah, you're right, it isn't." When he finally made some comment along the lines of "You can pay us a check for 900 dollars, or else I can go to the insurance about it. You CANT use your insurance, right?" I lost it a bit and snapped at him. "I CAN use my insurance, I just didn't want to. Let me call my mom." So I called her up, told her "I'd kinda like to let insurance handle this." and somehow she understood that I was pissed, being threatened, and didn't want to lose my temper. She told me that it would be fine, to do it through insurance, that I would be paying, etc. It was all agreeable to me, so I told him we would do the insurance claim. We exchanged insurance, but he had the wrong card for some reason. So I let his company contact mine, and we went from there. I pay a 250 deductible and both our cars get fixed. I now have enough money for that at least. I wasn't writing any assholes checks for 900. I'm just glad I didn't lose my temper. I do NOT like to be threatened.
SO! Anyways! After that, life got better. I'm getting pretty average grades right now. My checks would be looking pretty nice if I didn't have days off because of holidays coming up. My mom asked if I was coming home for the holidays. I could find other places to be, but being home during holidays seems like the best place to be. I'll regret saying that soon, I just know it. I have a headache right now....It's probably from lack of sleep, but I have a meeting with someone about Study Abroad at 10, I'm taking my car in to be estimated at 11, and I'm just honestly very tired....I'm not sure about seeing bf today. I'm so tired, but I want time with him. But it wouldn't be fair to him, I suppose. *sigh* RB keeps staying out every night. And when she doesn't stay out, her bf stays at our place with her. It's driving me crazy. I worried I'll slip up and show my real meanness. I mean, people can think that I'm being mean, but they haven't seen mean from me until I've been completely free from caring. Me tired and worn down and frustrated do NOT help me keep from lashing out. *hangs head* I don't want to lash out at her, I don't want to lash out at anyone. After I lash out, either she'll lash back, or she'll be so hurt that our relationship can't really be repaired. If she lashes back, depending on how good of a lash it is, I'll retaliate or just plain laugh at her. Neither thing is good. But it's my nature to not let anyone know if they've hurt me and make sure that I (can) hurt them more. >____< I don't WANNNA FIIIIGHT!!!! I just want her to fucking stop pretending that she doesn't have to be a college student! Take care of your studies damnit! He's not even completely divorced yet! Quit looking at his kids on Facebook and talking about them like you'll definitely be there long-term! Don't TEXT HIM CONSTANTLY! Get SLEEP! Take CARE of yourself! Don't revolve your world around him!
Auuugh, I sound like I'm jealous, but that's not it. I don't have that right. I just worry. She's sinking too fast, and even if he is as well, it'll be disastrous if they don't slow down and chill out. I don't want her to sit on the ground crying and saying "I just love him so much" after he made her come get her stuff, EVER AGAIN! Slow down, be romantic, get your asses out of each other's beds, especially when you're exhausted, and please, please, please, take better care..... Sorry, I think I needed to get that out.
On an EVEN BETTER NOTE! I submitted my IDS proposal because this was the LAST POSSIBLE time I could without majorly changing my proposal. My Psych Head Advisor told me, and I had less than 24 hours to scramble everything together in perfectly logical sequence. But I DID IT! I got it submitted in time. (5 minutes to spare even!) I got my advisor to sign off on it (30 minutes before it was due). And! AND! Last night I got an email saying from my advisor (who's on the committee) saying that my proposal passed the committee! That I might need to resubmit it typed up (three or four pages of it was handwritten) but she would contact me about that.
ALSO! I found a scholarship that could REALLY HELP my study abroad expenses. I'm so excited and scared all at the same time. (>.<) ^_^ Heehee. OH! Pineapples! There's this conference you might be interested in. Go here: http://jasc62.blogspot.com/ for more info in it. I'm wondering as to my eligibility for it, but I really wanna do it. It'd be amazing if we could meet up there, wouldn't it? I love ya'll. I'm gonna go do my job now, as soon as I find a new background. ^.^
You can disregard the first 20 seconds of it:
Rozfire: Sorry about the drama fest. I might've added to it a bit, so I'm sorry. (lxl) <=that's a face. I understand completely. My senior year, I cut people off rather than deal with drama. It's a suggestion. It worked well for me, but I was honestly completely fed up with it. If you can find a different way, that'd prolly be better. Just remember: I will ALWAYS be behind you. ^_^ Love you girlie. And thanks for the support. ^_^
So, I'm sure everyone is dying to know how things went with Mr. Swindler. (Ri-ight) ^_^ Well, in the interest of keeping it simple, we met, he got all of my information, I looked at the car and things went downhill from there. I tried to reason with him, but he was pretty bitchy. When I hunched down to take a few better pictures, he blocked my sun and distracted me. When I asked for more estimates, I said that it wasn't his responsibility to get more, and if I insisted on them, he would add other damage from the car to it (paint scratches on the stepping thing). He started to run his hand along the car door and asked in a sly voice if my car had done that damage too. I looked at him blankly and said "My car isn't even that tall." He looked kinda shocked for a second and then was like, "Oh, yeah, you're right, it isn't." When he finally made some comment along the lines of "You can pay us a check for 900 dollars, or else I can go to the insurance about it. You CANT use your insurance, right?" I lost it a bit and snapped at him. "I CAN use my insurance, I just didn't want to. Let me call my mom." So I called her up, told her "I'd kinda like to let insurance handle this." and somehow she understood that I was pissed, being threatened, and didn't want to lose my temper. She told me that it would be fine, to do it through insurance, that I would be paying, etc. It was all agreeable to me, so I told him we would do the insurance claim. We exchanged insurance, but he had the wrong card for some reason. So I let his company contact mine, and we went from there. I pay a 250 deductible and both our cars get fixed. I now have enough money for that at least. I wasn't writing any assholes checks for 900. I'm just glad I didn't lose my temper. I do NOT like to be threatened.
SO! Anyways! After that, life got better. I'm getting pretty average grades right now. My checks would be looking pretty nice if I didn't have days off because of holidays coming up. My mom asked if I was coming home for the holidays. I could find other places to be, but being home during holidays seems like the best place to be. I'll regret saying that soon, I just know it. I have a headache right now....It's probably from lack of sleep, but I have a meeting with someone about Study Abroad at 10, I'm taking my car in to be estimated at 11, and I'm just honestly very tired....I'm not sure about seeing bf today. I'm so tired, but I want time with him. But it wouldn't be fair to him, I suppose. *sigh* RB keeps staying out every night. And when she doesn't stay out, her bf stays at our place with her. It's driving me crazy. I worried I'll slip up and show my real meanness. I mean, people can think that I'm being mean, but they haven't seen mean from me until I've been completely free from caring. Me tired and worn down and frustrated do NOT help me keep from lashing out. *hangs head* I don't want to lash out at her, I don't want to lash out at anyone. After I lash out, either she'll lash back, or she'll be so hurt that our relationship can't really be repaired. If she lashes back, depending on how good of a lash it is, I'll retaliate or just plain laugh at her. Neither thing is good. But it's my nature to not let anyone know if they've hurt me and make sure that I (can) hurt them more. >____< I don't WANNNA FIIIIGHT!!!! I just want her to fucking stop pretending that she doesn't have to be a college student! Take care of your studies damnit! He's not even completely divorced yet! Quit looking at his kids on Facebook and talking about them like you'll definitely be there long-term! Don't TEXT HIM CONSTANTLY! Get SLEEP! Take CARE of yourself! Don't revolve your world around him!
Auuugh, I sound like I'm jealous, but that's not it. I don't have that right. I just worry. She's sinking too fast, and even if he is as well, it'll be disastrous if they don't slow down and chill out. I don't want her to sit on the ground crying and saying "I just love him so much" after he made her come get her stuff, EVER AGAIN! Slow down, be romantic, get your asses out of each other's beds, especially when you're exhausted, and please, please, please, take better care..... Sorry, I think I needed to get that out.
On an EVEN BETTER NOTE! I submitted my IDS proposal because this was the LAST POSSIBLE time I could without majorly changing my proposal. My Psych Head Advisor told me, and I had less than 24 hours to scramble everything together in perfectly logical sequence. But I DID IT! I got it submitted in time. (5 minutes to spare even!) I got my advisor to sign off on it (30 minutes before it was due). And! AND! Last night I got an email saying from my advisor (who's on the committee) saying that my proposal passed the committee! That I might need to resubmit it typed up (three or four pages of it was handwritten) but she would contact me about that.
ALSO! I found a scholarship that could REALLY HELP my study abroad expenses. I'm so excited and scared all at the same time. (>.<) ^_^ Heehee. OH! Pineapples! There's this conference you might be interested in. Go here: http://jasc62.blogspot.com/ for more info in it. I'm wondering as to my eligibility for it, but I really wanna do it. It'd be amazing if we could meet up there, wouldn't it? I love ya'll. I'm gonna go do my job now, as soon as I find a new background. ^.^
You can disregard the first 20 seconds of it:
Sunday, November 8, 2009
List of Grievances
Seriously....my stomach hurts when I think of these things:
-The DAD of the guy I hit has now gotten involved....and the estimation may NOT be mistaken as my mom and I thought. So 900 bucks actually MAY need to change hands, and honestly, the fatherdude really wants this done ASAP. >.< If he's getting involved, I wanna involve MY mommy too! The car still belongs to HER and not me, after all. Just tell me how much I need to pay.... *cries*
-I don't have the money to pay!!! >.<
-My IDS has to be submitted by tomorrow, and I'm not happy with it yet. I haven't devoted enough time to it.
-I STILL CANT SIGN UP FOR CLASSES
-I got reprimanded at work for being 30 minutes late....so now if something else happens, I can be fired for it. I overslept....so did the person that came in after me, but I didn't feel the need to call the supervisor over it. *hangs head* I deserve it, but I'm just so tired all the time now!
-I've forgotten how to eat healthy. *sigh* I'll live off of Hot Pockets from now on.
-If I don't let RB's bf stay over at our place, she just goes off to his.
-We had a Roomie Day yesterday. It was an utter fail. She spent a large amount of that time texting him. And I spent a large amount of that time being my unadulterated, uncensored self, which means I didn't mind if I offended anyone. You can imagine how that went. At least I could make myself be silent.
-V_V *pokes self* I'm gaining weight....(On the plus side of that, I don't feel unattractive yet)
-I can't pay for the application to study abroad.
-RB doesn't seem to be taking college seriously. I may have to find another roomate for next semester, even though I love having her as mine.
-I hate having money problems....I hate money...why can't I work off my debts without money needing to change hands....it makes me hate money even more...augh
-I never want to drive again.
-My counselor told me be selfish... and I don't know what to do to be selfish.
-I need another job, or a better paying one. I like this one though...augh....
-I'm making myself sick, aren't I? That's cowardly... I should be more responsible... hold my head up high... and face this with honesty and integrity... and ....other stuff.
Ugh....just listing all this makes me want to throw up. My nerves are certainly weak nowadays, aren't they?
-The DAD of the guy I hit has now gotten involved....and the estimation may NOT be mistaken as my mom and I thought. So 900 bucks actually MAY need to change hands, and honestly, the fatherdude really wants this done ASAP. >.< If he's getting involved, I wanna involve MY mommy too! The car still belongs to HER and not me, after all. Just tell me how much I need to pay.... *cries*
-I don't have the money to pay!!! >.<
-My IDS has to be submitted by tomorrow, and I'm not happy with it yet. I haven't devoted enough time to it.
-I STILL CANT SIGN UP FOR CLASSES
-I got reprimanded at work for being 30 minutes late....so now if something else happens, I can be fired for it. I overslept....so did the person that came in after me, but I didn't feel the need to call the supervisor over it. *hangs head* I deserve it, but I'm just so tired all the time now!
-I've forgotten how to eat healthy. *sigh* I'll live off of Hot Pockets from now on.
-If I don't let RB's bf stay over at our place, she just goes off to his.
-We had a Roomie Day yesterday. It was an utter fail. She spent a large amount of that time texting him. And I spent a large amount of that time being my unadulterated, uncensored self, which means I didn't mind if I offended anyone. You can imagine how that went. At least I could make myself be silent.
-V_V *pokes self* I'm gaining weight....(On the plus side of that, I don't feel unattractive yet)
-I can't pay for the application to study abroad.
-RB doesn't seem to be taking college seriously. I may have to find another roomate for next semester, even though I love having her as mine.
-I hate having money problems....I hate money...why can't I work off my debts without money needing to change hands....it makes me hate money even more...augh
-I never want to drive again.
-My counselor told me be selfish... and I don't know what to do to be selfish.
-I need another job, or a better paying one. I like this one though...augh....
-I'm making myself sick, aren't I? That's cowardly... I should be more responsible... hold my head up high... and face this with honesty and integrity... and ....other stuff.
Ugh....just listing all this makes me want to throw up. My nerves are certainly weak nowadays, aren't they?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Why does my life play out like this?
I feel like a drama reject, rejected for having too much drama. @__@ So a lot has happened, and in my very interesting attempt to 'live like i wanna live, sleep like i wanna sleep' i haven't found time to blog. I do apologize for that. So lets see if I can keep from jumping around too much.
1. I took bf home for Halloween with me. (If I'd known rozy was there, I would have called and we could have hung out!!! *cry cry*) It was a lot of running on a little amount of sleep.
2. I forgot my makeup for my costume, so ended up using my cousin's but she's a lot whiter than I am, apparently. I didn't know how much til I looked at the pictures. Beyond that, my costume was amusing. Everyone was like O__O Ru....na....? It looks good, but it doesn't suit you..... Which is total BS.
3. That night I had to run to my sis's and bf drove because i was so tired. I was nearly physically ill cause it was dark, we were on the same road I'd crashed onto, bf wasn't familiar with my car, and he jerks way too much when he drives. There were prolly lesser factors that played into this, but those are the ones I'll mention.
4. My sister had gone drinking and left the baby with my brother. Who is way too nosy. I got pissed. But there's nothing I can do, and her friend did die last week. *siiiiigh* I don't approve at all, but short of taking her kids I don't see anything I could do. Even then, it'll prolly get her free to have more and do worse.
5. When I went to bed that night I literally passed out. I didn't move for at least 10 straight hours. Woke up soooooo sore. So, *grin* I turned over on my other side and went back to sleep for an hour. Even though we were supposed to get up at the time I woke up. Heehee. Couches are comfy.
6. Bf and I went out for breakfast at a place that has rather good food and usually pretty good deals. I couldn't quite finish my meal. So I got take-home foods! Then bf asked if he could drive back. I figured it was daylight, he'd be more familiar with the car, and it was prolly my tiredness that made the ride seem so bad. So I let him drive.
7. I was wrong.
8. I was so wrong. I sat there clenched up, stomach nearly painfully clenching, fighting nausea and a headache, nearly praying. The whole way back. At one point (and I know this is gross) I threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it back down. On the plus side, it didn't taste too bad. On the minus side, I do. not. throw. up. EVER if I can help it.
9. He dropped himself off at his place, he was late for a meeting. I drove myself back home very shakily, trembling and still kinda fighting nausea. When I went to park, well, shit hit the fan.
10. I had so many choices! But I had to pick next to this gray SUV looking thing cause it was closest to my room. I wanted to park perfectly so I wouldn't cause trouble for anyone else trying to park. Yeah....fuck me. I ended up with the wheel locked, confused myself about backing up, rushed it, panicked, and ended up hitting the damned car in the rear tire/passenger door area. Scratches & a small dent on his part. Huge ass dent and nearly took out my light on my car. If insurance gets involved, well, I'll be kicked off my insurance.
11. I parked, and then called my mom. She told me to move to a new parking spot and not do anything. Call bf. He pretty much advises the same thing. Call RB. She doesn't pick up. I sit there for the longest time thinking about it, freaking out, and come to an epiphany. Intentions and "I thought about it..."s just don't count for anything to someone else. Actions are what count, and my action here would be a defining factor in my character. So, my stupid ass left a note with my name and number. Saying I was sorry. And to call me if he needed repairs. I would like to note here, that it was SUPERFICIAL DAMAGE!!! He drives fine with it like it is.
12. Well, he calls me. Tells me he'll take it to a few places, see what their estimates are. What he comes back with tonight is a nearly 900 dollar price for getting the dent out and repainting the area. Even I cannot truly believe that's the cheapest. So I'll likely do some checking around to see if there's anything cheaper. Because I just cannot pay that much. I have a little over a 100 dollars to my name right now.
Bf has offered to lend me the money, but I really don't wanna borrow from my boyfreind. It just seems very...dangerous to mix a relationship and a financial crisis. I'm gonna either go to the bank or call the bank tomorrow (today actually) and see if there's any way they could loan me 900. I'll pay everything back by the end of December if my calculations about my pay are correct. Am I just being stubborn to want to refuse bf's offer? >.
Also, bf is in Phoenix right now, so I can't actually see him. I miss him. But Shhh, don't tell. ~_^ I realized I don't look around nearly as much when I know he isn't going to be there. *shakes head* I'm so silly.
I CANT AFFORD LIVING!!!!!!! *frown* I need a) a much better job with more pay and more easy hours. b)To learn to exist without food or clothing costs c)Marry someone rich who'll take care of everything and just let me bury myself in a book for the rest of my life. (j/k on the last one. *grin* maybe) Nah, that's not my style. I have too much pride for c. *sigh* I wonder how long pride lasts....*curls up*
In addition, I have the extreme difficulty of finishing my InterDisciplinary Studies Major plan, arranging every class I will take, and re-editing my essay for the same IDS program. I'd call it ridiculous, but I think it's obvious.
I've taken three tests this week. Yay....I was late for one, unprepared for another, and the last one was open-book open-note. Which would have helped me if I'd taken notes I could read. *cries*
Okay, that's been my life so far. But I'll be okay! I know I complained alot, but really, I was just trying to tell you all the stuff that's been happening. *sigh* Hope everyone's doing good!
I'm in love with this guy now. I mean, seriously, I would go googly-eyed and resign myself to fate if he were real:
1. I took bf home for Halloween with me. (If I'd known rozy was there, I would have called and we could have hung out!!! *cry cry*) It was a lot of running on a little amount of sleep.
2. I forgot my makeup for my costume, so ended up using my cousin's but she's a lot whiter than I am, apparently. I didn't know how much til I looked at the pictures. Beyond that, my costume was amusing. Everyone was like O__O Ru....na....? It looks good, but it doesn't suit you..... Which is total BS.
3. That night I had to run to my sis's and bf drove because i was so tired. I was nearly physically ill cause it was dark, we were on the same road I'd crashed onto, bf wasn't familiar with my car, and he jerks way too much when he drives. There were prolly lesser factors that played into this, but those are the ones I'll mention.
4. My sister had gone drinking and left the baby with my brother. Who is way too nosy. I got pissed. But there's nothing I can do, and her friend did die last week. *siiiiigh* I don't approve at all, but short of taking her kids I don't see anything I could do. Even then, it'll prolly get her free to have more and do worse.
5. When I went to bed that night I literally passed out. I didn't move for at least 10 straight hours. Woke up soooooo sore. So, *grin* I turned over on my other side and went back to sleep for an hour. Even though we were supposed to get up at the time I woke up. Heehee. Couches are comfy.
6. Bf and I went out for breakfast at a place that has rather good food and usually pretty good deals. I couldn't quite finish my meal. So I got take-home foods! Then bf asked if he could drive back. I figured it was daylight, he'd be more familiar with the car, and it was prolly my tiredness that made the ride seem so bad. So I let him drive.
7. I was wrong.
8. I was so wrong. I sat there clenched up, stomach nearly painfully clenching, fighting nausea and a headache, nearly praying. The whole way back. At one point (and I know this is gross) I threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it back down. On the plus side, it didn't taste too bad. On the minus side, I do. not. throw. up. EVER if I can help it.
9. He dropped himself off at his place, he was late for a meeting. I drove myself back home very shakily, trembling and still kinda fighting nausea. When I went to park, well, shit hit the fan.
10. I had so many choices! But I had to pick next to this gray SUV looking thing cause it was closest to my room. I wanted to park perfectly so I wouldn't cause trouble for anyone else trying to park. Yeah....fuck me. I ended up with the wheel locked, confused myself about backing up, rushed it, panicked, and ended up hitting the damned car in the rear tire/passenger door area. Scratches & a small dent on his part. Huge ass dent and nearly took out my light on my car. If insurance gets involved, well, I'll be kicked off my insurance.
11. I parked, and then called my mom. She told me to move to a new parking spot and not do anything. Call bf. He pretty much advises the same thing. Call RB. She doesn't pick up. I sit there for the longest time thinking about it, freaking out, and come to an epiphany. Intentions and "I thought about it..."s just don't count for anything to someone else. Actions are what count, and my action here would be a defining factor in my character. So, my stupid ass left a note with my name and number. Saying I was sorry. And to call me if he needed repairs. I would like to note here, that it was SUPERFICIAL DAMAGE!!! He drives fine with it like it is.
12. Well, he calls me. Tells me he'll take it to a few places, see what their estimates are. What he comes back with tonight is a nearly 900 dollar price for getting the dent out and repainting the area. Even I cannot truly believe that's the cheapest. So I'll likely do some checking around to see if there's anything cheaper. Because I just cannot pay that much. I have a little over a 100 dollars to my name right now.
Bf has offered to lend me the money, but I really don't wanna borrow from my boyfreind. It just seems very...dangerous to mix a relationship and a financial crisis. I'm gonna either go to the bank or call the bank tomorrow (today actually) and see if there's any way they could loan me 900. I'll pay everything back by the end of December if my calculations about my pay are correct. Am I just being stubborn to want to refuse bf's offer? >.
Also, bf is in Phoenix right now, so I can't actually see him. I miss him. But Shhh, don't tell. ~_^ I realized I don't look around nearly as much when I know he isn't going to be there. *shakes head* I'm so silly.
I CANT AFFORD LIVING!!!!!!! *frown* I need a) a much better job with more pay and more easy hours. b)To learn to exist without food or clothing costs c)Marry someone rich who'll take care of everything and just let me bury myself in a book for the rest of my life. (j/k on the last one. *grin* maybe) Nah, that's not my style. I have too much pride for c. *sigh* I wonder how long pride lasts....*curls up*
In addition, I have the extreme difficulty of finishing my InterDisciplinary Studies Major plan, arranging every class I will take, and re-editing my essay for the same IDS program. I'd call it ridiculous, but I think it's obvious.
I've taken three tests this week. Yay....I was late for one, unprepared for another, and the last one was open-book open-note. Which would have helped me if I'd taken notes I could read. *cries*
Okay, that's been my life so far. But I'll be okay! I know I complained alot, but really, I was just trying to tell you all the stuff that's been happening. *sigh* Hope everyone's doing good!
I'm in love with this guy now. I mean, seriously, I would go googly-eyed and resign myself to fate if he were real:
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