So!
I went in to tell my boss that I was going to start looking for another job, and he asked me what was wrong. I looked at him, weighed my morals, and told the truth. "I've been falling asleep on the job, sitting in a car for ten hours a night has been terrible on my body, and the late hours are making daily life really hard for me." I expected that after I admitted to falling asleep, he would fire me right then. Instead, he offered me a job from 4-midnight where I could walk the post instead of drive, and if I'm not stuck in a car, there's little danger of me falling asleep. So I offered to try it, and so far it's been great! Only drawbacks: It's five days a week (eight hour shifts), it started the same week (he moved a lot of people around to get me moved so quickly), and I had both a root canal and a baby shower the same week he scheduled me to start. I couldn't make the baby shower (so we had a mini-one with just two couples celebrating the third couple's impending freedom from parasite-inside-womb syndrome), but I didn't want to reschedule the root canal, or take time off work. So I did both! I got a root canal at 7 in the morning, and went to work at 4 pm. Wait, let me go into greater detail:
I signed up for laughing gas on my dentist's recommendation (because she found me squeamish), paid 1600 total (she estimated 800. I'm still trying to figure that one out), and cried my eyes out for hours later. I wasn't crying from pain. I was crying from the horror that is laughing gas. It felt like my body wasn't my own anymore. My arms and legs weren't connected to me, but I could still feel sensations on them. If I kept my eyes closed, I couldn't orient myself. But if I left my eyes open, they hurt, and I felt dizzy and I couldn't make sense of what I was hearing. On top of this terrible mental strain, I got the wonderful sensation of nausea that comes commonly. Then my lovely dentist told me "Wow, you are a lightweight!" because she did the dose at 25%. It was my first time! And if I have any say in the matter, the last time!
So anyway, for hours afterward, hubby carted me around while I cried for this and that "I want coffee...! I want boooooooks! ....*sniffle cry sniffle* I want this painting!" If he left my side I worried I would disappear, or that he would disappear, or that I would lose him or he would lose me, which all amounts to the same thing: I was clingy as hell. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. IF he didn't grip my hand tight enough, I whimpered. IF he let go of my hand (for example, to pay for something), I started to cry. Even I was sick of myself, but I couldn't help it. .....I have the sneaking suspicion that he enjoyed seeing me so dependent and clingy. ;__; I'm just glad he was there. That stuff was terrible. N.e.v.e.r. A.g.a.i.n.
To give you more news of my oral condition: I was fine at work. It barely ached. But low and behold me three days later: The gum beneath where they did a root canal is swollen, blood-shot, tender, seems to have a bit of pus, and aching like a mo.fo. I think it's gingivitis. Hubby thinks it's an infection. Either way, I need to go to the dentist again. I was there today (to pick out the color of my new crown), and when I mentioned the problem, they said to give it a few days. I could scream, except, you know, my mouth hurts (even my jaw). Oh, and I have a cold sore on the same side of my mouth as all of the other problems. Joy. At least I know how to treat a cold sore to get it to go away super fast. (Mine is already on the third stage. There's only one or two more stages after it, and it only started forming last night.)
That's my current problems as I know it. I'm enjoying my job now. I can read! I can walk! I'm hating my mouth now: I can't talk, I can't chew, I can't brush or floss because the pain's too intense. Beyond that, and my endless water works, life is peachy. Especially the sex life. :3 But that's private, and I'm just stating it to gloat. *YAYYYY*
Friday, December 14, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Thankful?
I'm writing this between bouts of Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. It's a really good series. I have less than ten episodes left, and I'm both excited and apprehensive about what's going to happen.
So first I guess I'll start off with what should make me love my job (Even though I don't, and don't think I can....)
-I get to sleep all day, and stay up all night
-I get to drive around aimlessly for hours on end
-People show me respect,
-and also often mistake me for police
-I can do what I want, to a certain degree
-I get to watch people as much as I want without being seen as strange
-I can (apparently) get off work rather easily
-It pays so-so
*guohhh.... Two really good men just died (apparently) in FMAB I wanna cry! But I won't! I'm strong! *
-I get to be left alone for hours at a time, so I can think quietly by myself.
-It's not particularly physically taxing (except for the extreme stress and tension that I can't help accumulating by sitting for hours on end)
-It frees my days up, so I can spend them with my husband (though I end up sleeping most of the time)
-I can wake up hubby when I go to bed, which provides good cuddle time
-If we had kids, I would be able to get them off to school, and hang out with them during the morning before hubby woke up, so we would have pretty damn good coverage over their hi-jinks.
-If I were so inclined, I could make breakfast every morning (I'm not.) and dinner every night (If I could get to sleep at a decent time)
-I never have to think about what to make for lunch anymore.
-I can have breakfast food for my 'dinner' all the time
-I don't have to listen to hubby snore anymore. :P
....You know, the more I write, the more flip-sides I keep seeing to my job. It's amusingly similar to the theory constantly repeated in FMAB. "To get something, you have to give something up" essentially. I'm not at all sure that the body health, and stress I'm going through is equal to the amount of money (minimum wage) and benefits I get from my job. But until I'm pushed too far, I'll stick to it and keep my eyes open for a much better offer. *sigh* Feels disloyal though, and really isn't the kind of thing I normally would do. But the job is lonely and boring, so it can't be helped, right? *sigh*
I'm so glad I found a loving husband that understands me and tolerates my quirks. He's actually developing a few quirks of his own that I absolutely love. He's sweet, but firm, and everything I could have wanted from a husband. Honestly, I don't think I wanted a husband as a kid. Momma always told me to be the one that got away from needing a man, to just maintain a good job, and do what was best for me. *shrug* I think I've done what was best for me by choosing Rebikins, to follow her wishes. He keeps me stable, and makes me happy. ^.^ So I try to make him happy too. And bring a little spontaneity and fun to his life as well. Yay for opposites?
I think I'm a little like pineapples. I've gotten everything I wished for as a child, but with twists. I've gotten to go to Japan, and even live there. I've gotten to major in Japanese, though it has no use in my daily life now (cry). I've been able to find someone COMPLETELY different from my family, but now deal with the stress of retaining the balance between them. I've gotten away from my family, but now I can't really go back even when I want to (especially to the kids I didn't know they would have). So in a way, I've gotten everything I wanted out of life, but in another way, I've lost quite alot. ^.^ It's the way of the world. But I bet you, because of my choices, I'll continue to get lots of good with the bad. I think my husband plays a large role in this. Because he treats me well, I can trust him to care for me, even when I don't feel worth it. Hmmm... I'm not sure how to put it in a way that's easily understandable, but I guess you could say he's the one that I look up to. lol. Blushing yet, dear?
Whooooo~! I'm on the last episode! It's been an emotional rollercoaster, that's for sure. I really recommend Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. It IS a lot more interesting than the first one, in a different way. It's like reading fanfiction almost. All your favorite characters changing and growing together in a very palatable way. I can see why fans were discontent with the original FMA anime. I like them both, but have to admit, this makes a lot more sense, and is a lot more in-depth. I could do without some of the background music though. It tries to make an already touching scene or already tension-filled scene MORE and all it really does is detract from the situation. It's a little sad, honestly. :P Oh well. Can't win them all, right?
Lets see.... I was talking about hubby, wasn't I? So part of my 'job' is to make him happy, submit him willingly/unwillingly to fun, play with him, and keep him humble. :3 If he has a fault, its that he gets too full of himself, and what he's worth, and begins treating people and things like they matter less. >:3 I keep him from doing that. lol. Sometimes I'm mean to him, but.... I try not to be.
Actually, I'm beginning to get a better hold on my anger lately. (Watch me end up having a huge blow-out soon because I'm writing this. ;___;) I haven't completely lost my temper in days, which is a huge relief to me. The anger that comes with the birth control I'm on (well, for me it comes because my self-control isn't as strong on this BC) scares me, to be honest. It's so sudden, and so strong, that when it catches me off-guard (as it often does) I worry about hurting someone or something. Often its poor hubby that it ends up directed upon, and that's not really fair. He does pretty well with handling it, but he really shouldn't have to. *sigh* I hope my temper isn't this explosive when I'm pregnant. Hubby already calls me a scary woman daily (and means it too). The poor guy would die if I had a child inside and lost my temper. Hopefully this lack of recent 'attacks' is showing some tolerance building back up. I've always prided myself on my self-control, so this lack lately REALLY annoys me, and on that note, probably makes the anger worse. lol. It's a work in progress, I suppose.
And so now you have a super long update to make up for my lack of them lately. :P
My favorite opening:
So first I guess I'll start off with what should make me love my job (Even though I don't, and don't think I can....)
-I get to sleep all day, and stay up all night
-I get to drive around aimlessly for hours on end
-People show me respect,
-and also often mistake me for police
-I can do what I want, to a certain degree
-I get to watch people as much as I want without being seen as strange
-I can (apparently) get off work rather easily
-It pays so-so
*guohhh.... Two really good men just died (apparently) in FMAB I wanna cry! But I won't! I'm strong! *
-I get to be left alone for hours at a time, so I can think quietly by myself.
-It's not particularly physically taxing (except for the extreme stress and tension that I can't help accumulating by sitting for hours on end)
-It frees my days up, so I can spend them with my husband (though I end up sleeping most of the time)
-I can wake up hubby when I go to bed, which provides good cuddle time
-If we had kids, I would be able to get them off to school, and hang out with them during the morning before hubby woke up, so we would have pretty damn good coverage over their hi-jinks.
-If I were so inclined, I could make breakfast every morning (I'm not.) and dinner every night (If I could get to sleep at a decent time)
-I never have to think about what to make for lunch anymore.
-I can have breakfast food for my 'dinner' all the time
-I don't have to listen to hubby snore anymore. :P
....You know, the more I write, the more flip-sides I keep seeing to my job. It's amusingly similar to the theory constantly repeated in FMAB. "To get something, you have to give something up" essentially. I'm not at all sure that the body health, and stress I'm going through is equal to the amount of money (minimum wage) and benefits I get from my job. But until I'm pushed too far, I'll stick to it and keep my eyes open for a much better offer. *sigh* Feels disloyal though, and really isn't the kind of thing I normally would do. But the job is lonely and boring, so it can't be helped, right? *sigh*
I'm so glad I found a loving husband that understands me and tolerates my quirks. He's actually developing a few quirks of his own that I absolutely love. He's sweet, but firm, and everything I could have wanted from a husband. Honestly, I don't think I wanted a husband as a kid. Momma always told me to be the one that got away from needing a man, to just maintain a good job, and do what was best for me. *shrug* I think I've done what was best for me by choosing Rebikins, to follow her wishes. He keeps me stable, and makes me happy. ^.^ So I try to make him happy too. And bring a little spontaneity and fun to his life as well. Yay for opposites?
I think I'm a little like pineapples. I've gotten everything I wished for as a child, but with twists. I've gotten to go to Japan, and even live there. I've gotten to major in Japanese, though it has no use in my daily life now (cry). I've been able to find someone COMPLETELY different from my family, but now deal with the stress of retaining the balance between them. I've gotten away from my family, but now I can't really go back even when I want to (especially to the kids I didn't know they would have). So in a way, I've gotten everything I wanted out of life, but in another way, I've lost quite alot. ^.^ It's the way of the world. But I bet you, because of my choices, I'll continue to get lots of good with the bad. I think my husband plays a large role in this. Because he treats me well, I can trust him to care for me, even when I don't feel worth it. Hmmm... I'm not sure how to put it in a way that's easily understandable, but I guess you could say he's the one that I look up to. lol. Blushing yet, dear?
Whooooo~! I'm on the last episode! It's been an emotional rollercoaster, that's for sure. I really recommend Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. It IS a lot more interesting than the first one, in a different way. It's like reading fanfiction almost. All your favorite characters changing and growing together in a very palatable way. I can see why fans were discontent with the original FMA anime. I like them both, but have to admit, this makes a lot more sense, and is a lot more in-depth. I could do without some of the background music though. It tries to make an already touching scene or already tension-filled scene MORE and all it really does is detract from the situation. It's a little sad, honestly. :P Oh well. Can't win them all, right?
Lets see.... I was talking about hubby, wasn't I? So part of my 'job' is to make him happy, submit him willingly/unwillingly to fun, play with him, and keep him humble. :3 If he has a fault, its that he gets too full of himself, and what he's worth, and begins treating people and things like they matter less. >:3 I keep him from doing that. lol. Sometimes I'm mean to him, but.... I try not to be.
Actually, I'm beginning to get a better hold on my anger lately. (Watch me end up having a huge blow-out soon because I'm writing this. ;___;) I haven't completely lost my temper in days, which is a huge relief to me. The anger that comes with the birth control I'm on (well, for me it comes because my self-control isn't as strong on this BC) scares me, to be honest. It's so sudden, and so strong, that when it catches me off-guard (as it often does) I worry about hurting someone or something. Often its poor hubby that it ends up directed upon, and that's not really fair. He does pretty well with handling it, but he really shouldn't have to. *sigh* I hope my temper isn't this explosive when I'm pregnant. Hubby already calls me a scary woman daily (and means it too). The poor guy would die if I had a child inside and lost my temper. Hopefully this lack of recent 'attacks' is showing some tolerance building back up. I've always prided myself on my self-control, so this lack lately REALLY annoys me, and on that note, probably makes the anger worse. lol. It's a work in progress, I suppose.
And so now you have a super long update to make up for my lack of them lately. :P
My favorite opening:
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