So, my master, aka my boss has seen fit to screw with my life and transfer me to a different joint for the entire week. I have no idea for certain, but I'm pretty sure the new place I'm working at is in a seedy neighborhood, over thirty minutes away, and with people I've never met before. Ain't it great? Why yes, it is, if by great you mean fucked up, mean, unfair, stressful and depressing. I don't LIKE meeting new people. It stresses me out!!! Customers don't count. Though they can really mess with me as well. Anyway,
-Went to bed around four a.m.
-Woke up a few times, ended up getting up around one
-Called my job, since there was the POSSIBILITY that I would be working today, but no certainty either way.
-Found out that the nice schedule Mrs. Boss had written for me got SCRAPPED and she moved me to work on Ramsey every other day this week. Not too bad, but I've never been there! I don't know them! I don't wannnnnnaaaaaaa! >.< My shyness is BAD I tell you, BAD!!!
-Ended up somehow being conned into going out today. My only wish for today, if I didn't have work, was to stay home and read a book. So I got dressed, got ready, and eventually left
-Went and had Mom's key redone so that it would work on her door and I would get the plain key. I'm beginning to realize my sadistic nature may have come from her
-Got gas. Spent my last bit of money on putting gas in the car and buying a water bottle. *sigh*
-Went to my sisters' place. Only meant to see Mimi before running to my job to pick up my check, but somehow ended up picking up Chris, Kay, and Mimi to go with me.
-On the way to my job, asked Chris if she needed to run anywhere. She made me turn around in a strange driveway to go back for her stuff so she could go to Food Lion
-Went to my job. Mimi went in with me. Her wrist is broken in two places, so she has a cast all over her arm. Of course I dressed her and such myself before we left, so she looked cute as hell. My coworkers were looking between the two of us like "O__O WTF????" But most of them were kind enough to guess that she was my niece. That might have something to do with them knowing my real age, and not just how I look. It was still funny. S was kind enough to tell me about how glad she was to see that I was alright. ^_^ Mimi got all shy around my manager when he went to get my paycheck and wouldn't respond to him. *pout* She'll normally talk to anyone. I'm getting worried about her.
-We got back to the car, and when I tried to help her into the vehicle, I made her fall on her arm. TT-TT I'm a bad person!!! She almost immediately started tearing up, and telling me that her arm hurt, it would swell, help, etc. *Cries*
-We went to Food Lion (there wasn't anything we could do about her arm) and Mimi said she wanted to go in, so all of us went in. I carried Kay the whole time. He was cute, smiling and looking around. He apparently likes money quite a bit. O.o
-We checked out, the whole time me telling Mimi that she was not going anywhere with me if she couldn't use manners to say "Excuse me" when she passed a stranger. I need to train her for school! What else can I do?
-Went to Chris's house after stopping by Wendy's and getting some shakes. There was an accidental ordering of something we couldn't pay for, but we worked it out. I had no money and no card to save us with, so there was nothing we could do but change the order.
-Picked up Chay, and Chris apparently decided I would be her ride to Mom's house, since she called and worked out for all three of them (except Mimi) to stay the night. I hate the way that she excludes Mimi, but while Mimi is equally important to me as her cousins are, Mimi has a different standing for Chris, who thinks of herself and her sons first. I can't fault that, but I can't like it either.
-Took them home with me. End of my charity work. Picked up my book and disappeared.
-Got interrupted by every damned member of my family except the one sister I had to tell something horrible to today. Not my choice. Mom has said that everyone can come and us have a cookout/family gathering, but Cin is not allowed. She did, however, leave it to me and Chris to tell Cin. Mimi is still invited. I doubt she'll be coming though.
-Eventually finished the book (one a.m.) but missed bf, the appropriate shower time, and the whole communication thing where another child was coming to stay the night and the Aunt that has really annoyed me lately wasn't leaving today like I was told she was. Yeah. I could use that info. It IS RELEVANT to me. *sigh*
-Emerged from my room to find everyone in every bed available, including the one I have a particular partiality to. *grumbles*
-Basically, argued with children, told them what they were going to do, took a shower, discovered something new about my body, shoved Chay into his mom's bed, and came back to my room to find that after a bit of relaxation that it's 3 am by the time I've finished typing this up and I have to get up at 9 tomorrow morning (today, technically) to be sure I can get to work on Ramsey by 11, and that's using a GPS.
-Sweetie. If me writing this at such a really bad time isn't proof I love you, I'm not sure of a non physical way I can show it. ;P BTW. I'm leaving a link, since embedding is disabled. It's an AMAZING song, and a really CRAZY and FUNNY music video, so check it out, k?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddZPrJ8ROto
Wow. That was REALLY cool. I turned it to the video so i could get the url, and the pandora stopped playing RIGHT BEFORE the song started. Talk about awesome timing. ......My tummy just went a rumbly. Damnit, this is a really bad time to be hungry.... =_=;;;;
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
And the blog planet once again belongs to me and bf alone.
Seriously, everyone is gone. Rozy is understandable, she's at orientation. KK is understandable, she's practicing her Japanese at camp, but everyone else.....I feel very insignificant. Oh well. Bf's here for me. ~_^ Since it's 'Wednesday' now, (by 3 hours) I need to change my layout, so I figured I'd blog.
My day:
-Stayed up til like 4 or 5 and I think I fell asleep to TJ's guitar. He was trying to lull me to sleep, since we were both tired but not ready to sleep.
-Woke up at 9 45 for a call appointment with an attorney at my school to get advice about my Reckless Driving charge. Not only is it a Misdemeanor, it's a Criminal Offense. Which would give me a criminal record. Not really on my To-Do list.
-Talked with the attorney, then talked with my mom, sadly I've become rather used to running around her naked. Either or of us in said state. It's rather strange when I think about it logically, but I'm just used to it now. It hurts so much less to wear nothing.
-Scanned my body, noted that the bruising is much more apparent now, except for the neck. The part of my neck that is bruised still hurts, but it's smaller now. It's already healing. It even itches. My entire seatbelt is visible now. lol. Across my stomach, my hips, my chest, it's really apparent where it was.
-Went back to sleep. I was tired.
-While I was asleep, my mom took my aunt to a doctor appointment, and then stopped by my job. She demanded to speak to the manager. I've been thinking I may have lost my job, because I didn't show on Sunday, and they didn't put me on the schedule. At all. Well, the manager wasn't there. The cashier suggested mom speak to the Cook, who is in very close contact with the Manager. So she went back and told them she was there. The cook sent her back to ask why my mom wanted to talk to the manager about me. She said it was cause she was my mother. *Dies of embarrassment* The cook came out. She said "Look. Runa was in an accident on Saturday." Shows them a picture of my car in its current state. "THIS is why she didn't come on Sunday. I wouldn't let her. She was in no condition to be going into work the next day. You don not have the right to fire her over this. She's a good, hard worker and she doesn't deserve to be dropped like this." *Cowers in my mind* The Cook was like "Mmmm." And the cashier, who knew me, was like "Is she alright??" My mom said "Can you just make sure the Manager gets this?" And the cook agreed. Ahhhh....My dignity is gone. My mother went up to defend me. It makes me feel like a child that can't defend itself. My pride is hurt. I was just going to keep bothering them. Once I felt better. ....Eventually. V__V Honestly I wanted a more steady job, where I didn't have to wonder when I'd be working. It'd be set. So I could get another job to go with it. Oh well. I may get it yet.
-Anyways, I got up around 5. Read manga until I ran out. Around 6.
-Got up, got semidressed, never brushed my hair, and just wandered the house for a bit. Noted the dirty house. Dirty kitchen, dirty living room, things strewn everywhere. Brush my teeth. Get to work.
-Look around for the apron I KNOW is nearby. Find it, put the dishes up, clear the sink out. Look at stove, note that the hot dogs that have been there since I returned from my cruise were molding, through them away along with the gravy my mom made and left on the stove last night. Clean the counter off. Wash down the stove. Sweep. Refresh the cat's dishes. I haven't seen the cat in two or three days. It's scary.
-Fold clothes, put them away, make Chay's bed. Change the bathroom shower curtain. The old one was seriously molding. I couldn't take it anymore.
-Made biscuits, after they were made, I made mom a plate of food, with two biscuits, one with ham in the middle, the other bare with a honey/butter mixture. Woke her up. Got her fresh tea.
-Sat and talked with her while she ate, that's how I found out about the work incident. She was really suspicious when I brought her food in bed. *Shrug* I felt like it. Isn't that reason enough?
-Took off my apron, ate food. It was as delicious as I'd hoped. Decided, after talking with Mom to make No Bake Cookies. Available at your friendly Food Lion nearby. Made them 'dark chocolate' style to decrease the sugary-ness of it. Mom's diabetic, after all.
-Changed the recipe, made them, put them away, called work, I still don't have a schedule, called bf, talked for a while. It was nice. I miss him, but I'm too scared to make that trip in my mom's car.
-Watched TV, got it stolen from me, so I took a shower, then remembered mom's suggestion that I take a bath, so I cleaned myself, then got into the bath (fresh bubble bath).
-Read The Dragon Queen while I bathed. Good book, but definitely not my favorite of her series.
-Got out, munched on stuff, watched TV, chilled, discovered mom took off all the things I told DirecTV to record for me, and basically lazed around. Mom went to bed, but she so nicely got me another glass of water before she retired.
-Watched a ton of TV that I didn't need to. Til 3 am. Yeah. Surprised me too.
-Came back to my room, talked to TJ, wondered where E has disappeared to. Checked emails, debate telling my writers that I'm back for more work.
And that was my day. I'm debating watching these animes that I seriously need to return to Rozy. I wanna watch, but I sorta don't. =_= It's bothersome. Oh well. Time to change my layout. Ciao.
My day:
-Stayed up til like 4 or 5 and I think I fell asleep to TJ's guitar. He was trying to lull me to sleep, since we were both tired but not ready to sleep.
-Woke up at 9 45 for a call appointment with an attorney at my school to get advice about my Reckless Driving charge. Not only is it a Misdemeanor, it's a Criminal Offense. Which would give me a criminal record. Not really on my To-Do list.
-Talked with the attorney, then talked with my mom, sadly I've become rather used to running around her naked. Either or of us in said state. It's rather strange when I think about it logically, but I'm just used to it now. It hurts so much less to wear nothing.
-Scanned my body, noted that the bruising is much more apparent now, except for the neck. The part of my neck that is bruised still hurts, but it's smaller now. It's already healing. It even itches. My entire seatbelt is visible now. lol. Across my stomach, my hips, my chest, it's really apparent where it was.
-Went back to sleep. I was tired.
-While I was asleep, my mom took my aunt to a doctor appointment, and then stopped by my job. She demanded to speak to the manager. I've been thinking I may have lost my job, because I didn't show on Sunday, and they didn't put me on the schedule. At all. Well, the manager wasn't there. The cashier suggested mom speak to the Cook, who is in very close contact with the Manager. So she went back and told them she was there. The cook sent her back to ask why my mom wanted to talk to the manager about me. She said it was cause she was my mother. *Dies of embarrassment* The cook came out. She said "Look. Runa was in an accident on Saturday." Shows them a picture of my car in its current state. "THIS is why she didn't come on Sunday. I wouldn't let her. She was in no condition to be going into work the next day. You don not have the right to fire her over this. She's a good, hard worker and she doesn't deserve to be dropped like this." *Cowers in my mind* The Cook was like "Mmmm." And the cashier, who knew me, was like "Is she alright??" My mom said "Can you just make sure the Manager gets this?" And the cook agreed. Ahhhh....My dignity is gone. My mother went up to defend me. It makes me feel like a child that can't defend itself. My pride is hurt. I was just going to keep bothering them. Once I felt better. ....Eventually. V__V Honestly I wanted a more steady job, where I didn't have to wonder when I'd be working. It'd be set. So I could get another job to go with it. Oh well. I may get it yet.
-Anyways, I got up around 5. Read manga until I ran out. Around 6.
-Got up, got semidressed, never brushed my hair, and just wandered the house for a bit. Noted the dirty house. Dirty kitchen, dirty living room, things strewn everywhere. Brush my teeth. Get to work.
-Look around for the apron I KNOW is nearby. Find it, put the dishes up, clear the sink out. Look at stove, note that the hot dogs that have been there since I returned from my cruise were molding, through them away along with the gravy my mom made and left on the stove last night. Clean the counter off. Wash down the stove. Sweep. Refresh the cat's dishes. I haven't seen the cat in two or three days. It's scary.
-Fold clothes, put them away, make Chay's bed. Change the bathroom shower curtain. The old one was seriously molding. I couldn't take it anymore.
-Made biscuits, after they were made, I made mom a plate of food, with two biscuits, one with ham in the middle, the other bare with a honey/butter mixture. Woke her up. Got her fresh tea.
-Sat and talked with her while she ate, that's how I found out about the work incident. She was really suspicious when I brought her food in bed. *Shrug* I felt like it. Isn't that reason enough?
-Took off my apron, ate food. It was as delicious as I'd hoped. Decided, after talking with Mom to make No Bake Cookies. Available at your friendly Food Lion nearby. Made them 'dark chocolate' style to decrease the sugary-ness of it. Mom's diabetic, after all.
-Changed the recipe, made them, put them away, called work, I still don't have a schedule, called bf, talked for a while. It was nice. I miss him, but I'm too scared to make that trip in my mom's car.
-Watched TV, got it stolen from me, so I took a shower, then remembered mom's suggestion that I take a bath, so I cleaned myself, then got into the bath (fresh bubble bath).
-Read The Dragon Queen while I bathed. Good book, but definitely not my favorite of her series.
-Got out, munched on stuff, watched TV, chilled, discovered mom took off all the things I told DirecTV to record for me, and basically lazed around. Mom went to bed, but she so nicely got me another glass of water before she retired.
-Watched a ton of TV that I didn't need to. Til 3 am. Yeah. Surprised me too.
-Came back to my room, talked to TJ, wondered where E has disappeared to. Checked emails, debate telling my writers that I'm back for more work.
And that was my day. I'm debating watching these animes that I seriously need to return to Rozy. I wanna watch, but I sorta don't. =_= It's bothersome. Oh well. Time to change my layout. Ciao.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
No fear
So.....guess what peeps? I apparently fear more for a little girl that I don't know's life than I do my own. Yesterday:
I have bad cup holders. I can only use one unless someone is with me. Then they hold mine. I mean, my cup holders throw my drinks. So I had a water from my job. I got turned around trying to get to Old Navy before I realized I didn't have money to shop for shirts anyway. SO I stopped by the Cook Out and got a 99 cent shake. CHERRY! Yummm. Then I started thinking, and I realized I still hadn't seen my sister Cin since before I went on a cruise. So I went by their house, thinking maybe she'd be there. Lies. I talked with my brother, who tried to persuade me to stay and talk with him for a while. I don't get along with my brother for extended periods of time. I politely refused, using the reason that I hated my uniform and wanted out of it to leave. Shake still in hand. Drove home, but on a little winding road that doesn't have a speed limit posted anywhere on said road, I began losing control. My car started listing off to the right. Over and over, more and more frequently. I steered the car back onto the road, but went too far to the left. I looked at this maroon looking car heading straight for me, and took the time to notice there was a man in the driver's seat, and a little girl in the passenger seat. I became terrified that I would hit them. I didn't want to hit a car with a child in it. So veered to the right again, but lost control, and killed a mailbox on my way across gravel, grass, a ditch. I became airborne, and flipped into some trees. And bushes. Over a ditch. On my car's side closest to myself. I think I may have blacked out, because it seemed to me that people were there almost immediately. Two men. One in cargo pants. The other one in a red checkered shirt. They called the police and the paramedics, calling at me, asking if i was alive, if there was anyone else. I told them it was just me. They asked if I could get out. I said I didn't think so. I was looking around. I had watched my windshield crack. It was really cool. But I saw clear fluid pouring out of my engine area, and I saw smoke in the car with me. Right in front of me. (It was from the airbag, is what Mommy said) I didn't know that at the time. But I saw my phone hanging from my keys, *SCORE ONE FOR ME!!!* I turned my car off, because the radio was still on and everything. I tried to take the key out, but it wouldn't come out. (Later I realized it was because I didn't put my car into Park) So I ripped my phone away and called my mom while I was hanging by my seat belt. She didn't pick up, so I left her a voicemail telling her the road I was on, what had happened, and to please come find me. By that point I had found my buckle, and released it. I fell a little bit, but it wasn't anything bad. People were asking me if I could get out, and I told them I'd rather not try, cause I would have had to step onto some branches that it seems like I would have just sunk through. A woman in blue with blonde hair called to me, told me she was a nurse, and asked the guy in cargo pants to push that passenger seat back so I could get out. She told me I HAD to get out, and I got up slowly, working my way out, and putting my phone in my pocket. I couldn't find anything else worth taking. *SEE???? If my phone was in my purse, I would have had NOTHING!!!!!* When I got up, the man with the red checkered shirt held the door open for me, and I literally pulled my leg up to get it over the ceiling of the car while the woman held fast to my arm, telling me she was a nurse, that it'd all be okay, could i move? I got up, got out, and she walked me over a bit (I could totally have walked farther. I wanted to, but she insisted I sit down ASAP) and sat me right down in an ant bed. I asked if I could move, but no one would let me. The woman whose mailbox I had crashed into asked if I needed anything. Everyone kept asking that. I thought about it, and was like, my purse. I need my purse for identification. No one could get in the car to get it out though. So then a fireman person with his son who apparently lives close by were in my face. He told his son to hold my neck, and for me to not look around, keep my head as still as possible, while he felt along my body for damage. I didn't break anything, but when it got to the chest area, where my seat belt had been, it was too tender to touch. Really painful. And my neck also hurt. Rather badly. They asked me basic questions, trying to see if I was disoriented, but I was fine. Well, I was somewhat hurt, but I was fine. I didn't have a concussion or anything. My mom called me back, asking me for more specific directions, and that's about when I started silently crying. I answered her, she hung up, and a few more tears ran down. Then they stopped. They put a neck brace that reeeaaaaallly hurt on me, and then made me get on a board. I was still on the ant bed. My hair was down. *siiiiigh* For those that don't know, my hair reaches the ground when I'm sitting on said ground. Also, I was looking at my car, thinking, "My poor car....it's completely totaled.....I can't believe I actually did that....I really don't wanna die a virgin.....I wonder what everyone's gonna say? They're prolly going to be mad at me....I'm so glad I didn't hit that other car.....Mom's insurance just went up.....I'm supposed to pay my own insurance soon......Oh man, I hope I can get to work tomorrow.....Damn....My poor, poor car." Yes, those were my honest thoughts. Plus a few more. Silly, right? But true. Those were indeed my thoughts. During the crashing, I was trying to control it, but never once did I become scared. Maybe there wasn't time for it. I'm still not scared. I never was scared, except for the fear that I'd hit a car with a child in it. Anyway, they laid me on the board, my mom showed up, and they started strapping me in. When my mom showed, I started to cry a bit again. But nothing bad, cause I couldn't really see her. They strapped my neck with a kerchief, then, They TAPED my FOREHEAD! I did NOT want them to do that. But they did. Then the paramedics showed. Everyone picked me up, and I don't like placing my body in other people's hands, except, of course, for bf's. Even then though, it's scary. So I covered my eyes with my hands, the sun was super bright, and I was being carried. So yes, I closed my eyes and pretended it was a roller coaster. I mumbled something about that, and they were like "That's about as close to one as you're gonna get." They didn't understand what I had meant. And from that time til the time that the doctor took it off, I would not stop asking them to take the tape off my forehead. They said they didn't have the authority to do it. I asked "Don't I?" and they said, "We can't stop you, but we really wouldn't recommend it." So....I waited. Til I was alone. And I was alone. For a good hour before my mom showed up, with my sister in tow. But that's later. When I was alone, I subtly felt along the tape, trying to tear it. Wouldn't you know it, I couldn't do it. So I waited. And as soon as the doctor saw me, he took it off, unstrapped me, got me off the board, etc. Told me I had to lay flat though, in case there was spinal damage. But the bed was much softer than the board, so I didn't mind. I lay there, and there were a ton of people coming in, most of them asking me if I was possibly pregnant. I kept saying no. The doctor asked me, get this. I said no, and he asked if I was sure. I said yes, I'm sure. He said And exactly how are you so sure? My lovely answer: I'm a virgin. I told three people that. Then I gave up. So my mom when she showed up, was quite happy to take up the mantle and tell anyone that asked. I mean really? Does it matter that much? Oh well. I didn't care that much. While they were sticking me with an IV, another nurse was having me drink some fluid to make my scans show up. Some color stuff. She said "I'm sorry, I know it must taste horrible, and we're doing so much to you at once." Actually, I didn't like the taste, but I didn't mind it. And when the guy was sticking me with an IV, before he did that, he took off my bracelet. THE bracelet. The only bracelet I wear everyday. When I noticed he was about to, I tried to stop him, and reached out to prevent it, but I was too late. It made me cry that another man had taken off that bracelet. He was like "O__O IM SORRY!!!" Do you want me to put it back on?? I just don't want it getting in the way of the IV, etc." I still cried. I didn't want my bracelet taken off by anyone that wasn't me or bf. That it was another male was just worse. He put it on my other wrist, and asked me the significance. I told him it was an anniversary gift from bf. I was so sad. When mom got there, she asked if I'd called bf, but I hadn't, because cell phones can mess up the stuff that saves people's lives. I asked Mom to go call him. She asked if there was anything special I wanted to tell him, and all I could think was, "I can't come up and see him, and I love him very much." Isn't that sad? I couldn't think of anything more worthwhile. V__V Sorry bf. So she went away with my sis, so they could both smoke while they called various people. They always go away for a long time. So I watched TV. When they came back, bf called my phone, and mom picked it up. Apparently he called and something like "Can you please tell Runa I love her and..." Mom cut him off, telling him to hold on, and she handed it to me. I felt bad, cause I didn't want to kill anyone for a phone call, but I was so happy to hear his voice. Made me cry just a little when we got cut off. But it was okay. I felt better just hearing his voice. I'm sorry I worried him. But anyway, I think the pain meds are starting to work now. Or at least make me sleepy. Nope, nevermind. If I touch something that hurts, or move more than a little, the pain is just as great. I took that medicine at like 2 45. It's 5 45 now. Geez. Oh well. Anyway, I went back for testing, and when I came back, they were like "We still need a urine sample...." See, what had happened earlier was, they needed a urine sample, and asked right after I got an IV in, but they wouldn't let me get up in case I'd hurt my spine. So my options were to either use a bed pan, or to have a bag thing attached to my urethra/pee exit. Neither of those was acceptable to me. So I politely told her then, "I'm sorry, but if those are my only options, then I'm afraid you can't have any of my urine. I'd be more than happy to give you one if I could use the bathroom." She told me it wasn't possibly until my results came back. Then she told me that it was mainly to check for pregnancy. I'M A VIRGIN. I already had told her that. The worst part of the entire ordeal was that, I, in actual fact, really really really really needed to pee. I held it for 5-6 hours though. I was NOOOT using a bed pan. So I held it until the results came back. *dances* wahahahahaha. My will is greater than their obstinancy. Anyway, that's about it. I was banged up, but I wasn't seriously injured. I have injuries in all sorts of places, and Mom told me I couldn't work today, but beyond that, I'm good. I got a doctor's note. Good night. I'm napping now.
I have bad cup holders. I can only use one unless someone is with me. Then they hold mine. I mean, my cup holders throw my drinks. So I had a water from my job. I got turned around trying to get to Old Navy before I realized I didn't have money to shop for shirts anyway. SO I stopped by the Cook Out and got a 99 cent shake. CHERRY! Yummm. Then I started thinking, and I realized I still hadn't seen my sister Cin since before I went on a cruise. So I went by their house, thinking maybe she'd be there. Lies. I talked with my brother, who tried to persuade me to stay and talk with him for a while. I don't get along with my brother for extended periods of time. I politely refused, using the reason that I hated my uniform and wanted out of it to leave. Shake still in hand. Drove home, but on a little winding road that doesn't have a speed limit posted anywhere on said road, I began losing control. My car started listing off to the right. Over and over, more and more frequently. I steered the car back onto the road, but went too far to the left. I looked at this maroon looking car heading straight for me, and took the time to notice there was a man in the driver's seat, and a little girl in the passenger seat. I became terrified that I would hit them. I didn't want to hit a car with a child in it. So veered to the right again, but lost control, and killed a mailbox on my way across gravel, grass, a ditch. I became airborne, and flipped into some trees. And bushes. Over a ditch. On my car's side closest to myself. I think I may have blacked out, because it seemed to me that people were there almost immediately. Two men. One in cargo pants. The other one in a red checkered shirt. They called the police and the paramedics, calling at me, asking if i was alive, if there was anyone else. I told them it was just me. They asked if I could get out. I said I didn't think so. I was looking around. I had watched my windshield crack. It was really cool. But I saw clear fluid pouring out of my engine area, and I saw smoke in the car with me. Right in front of me. (It was from the airbag, is what Mommy said) I didn't know that at the time. But I saw my phone hanging from my keys, *SCORE ONE FOR ME!!!* I turned my car off, because the radio was still on and everything. I tried to take the key out, but it wouldn't come out. (Later I realized it was because I didn't put my car into Park) So I ripped my phone away and called my mom while I was hanging by my seat belt. She didn't pick up, so I left her a voicemail telling her the road I was on, what had happened, and to please come find me. By that point I had found my buckle, and released it. I fell a little bit, but it wasn't anything bad. People were asking me if I could get out, and I told them I'd rather not try, cause I would have had to step onto some branches that it seems like I would have just sunk through. A woman in blue with blonde hair called to me, told me she was a nurse, and asked the guy in cargo pants to push that passenger seat back so I could get out. She told me I HAD to get out, and I got up slowly, working my way out, and putting my phone in my pocket. I couldn't find anything else worth taking. *SEE???? If my phone was in my purse, I would have had NOTHING!!!!!* When I got up, the man with the red checkered shirt held the door open for me, and I literally pulled my leg up to get it over the ceiling of the car while the woman held fast to my arm, telling me she was a nurse, that it'd all be okay, could i move? I got up, got out, and she walked me over a bit (I could totally have walked farther. I wanted to, but she insisted I sit down ASAP) and sat me right down in an ant bed. I asked if I could move, but no one would let me. The woman whose mailbox I had crashed into asked if I needed anything. Everyone kept asking that. I thought about it, and was like, my purse. I need my purse for identification. No one could get in the car to get it out though. So then a fireman person with his son who apparently lives close by were in my face. He told his son to hold my neck, and for me to not look around, keep my head as still as possible, while he felt along my body for damage. I didn't break anything, but when it got to the chest area, where my seat belt had been, it was too tender to touch. Really painful. And my neck also hurt. Rather badly. They asked me basic questions, trying to see if I was disoriented, but I was fine. Well, I was somewhat hurt, but I was fine. I didn't have a concussion or anything. My mom called me back, asking me for more specific directions, and that's about when I started silently crying. I answered her, she hung up, and a few more tears ran down. Then they stopped. They put a neck brace that reeeaaaaallly hurt on me, and then made me get on a board. I was still on the ant bed. My hair was down. *siiiiigh* For those that don't know, my hair reaches the ground when I'm sitting on said ground. Also, I was looking at my car, thinking, "My poor car....it's completely totaled.....I can't believe I actually did that....I really don't wanna die a virgin.....I wonder what everyone's gonna say? They're prolly going to be mad at me....I'm so glad I didn't hit that other car.....Mom's insurance just went up.....I'm supposed to pay my own insurance soon......Oh man, I hope I can get to work tomorrow.....Damn....My poor, poor car." Yes, those were my honest thoughts. Plus a few more. Silly, right? But true. Those were indeed my thoughts. During the crashing, I was trying to control it, but never once did I become scared. Maybe there wasn't time for it. I'm still not scared. I never was scared, except for the fear that I'd hit a car with a child in it. Anyway, they laid me on the board, my mom showed up, and they started strapping me in. When my mom showed, I started to cry a bit again. But nothing bad, cause I couldn't really see her. They strapped my neck with a kerchief, then, They TAPED my FOREHEAD! I did NOT want them to do that. But they did. Then the paramedics showed. Everyone picked me up, and I don't like placing my body in other people's hands, except, of course, for bf's. Even then though, it's scary. So I covered my eyes with my hands, the sun was super bright, and I was being carried. So yes, I closed my eyes and pretended it was a roller coaster. I mumbled something about that, and they were like "That's about as close to one as you're gonna get." They didn't understand what I had meant. And from that time til the time that the doctor took it off, I would not stop asking them to take the tape off my forehead. They said they didn't have the authority to do it. I asked "Don't I?" and they said, "We can't stop you, but we really wouldn't recommend it." So....I waited. Til I was alone. And I was alone. For a good hour before my mom showed up, with my sister in tow. But that's later. When I was alone, I subtly felt along the tape, trying to tear it. Wouldn't you know it, I couldn't do it. So I waited. And as soon as the doctor saw me, he took it off, unstrapped me, got me off the board, etc. Told me I had to lay flat though, in case there was spinal damage. But the bed was much softer than the board, so I didn't mind. I lay there, and there were a ton of people coming in, most of them asking me if I was possibly pregnant. I kept saying no. The doctor asked me, get this. I said no, and he asked if I was sure. I said yes, I'm sure. He said And exactly how are you so sure? My lovely answer: I'm a virgin. I told three people that. Then I gave up. So my mom when she showed up, was quite happy to take up the mantle and tell anyone that asked. I mean really? Does it matter that much? Oh well. I didn't care that much. While they were sticking me with an IV, another nurse was having me drink some fluid to make my scans show up. Some color stuff. She said "I'm sorry, I know it must taste horrible, and we're doing so much to you at once." Actually, I didn't like the taste, but I didn't mind it. And when the guy was sticking me with an IV, before he did that, he took off my bracelet. THE bracelet. The only bracelet I wear everyday. When I noticed he was about to, I tried to stop him, and reached out to prevent it, but I was too late. It made me cry that another man had taken off that bracelet. He was like "O__O IM SORRY!!!" Do you want me to put it back on?? I just don't want it getting in the way of the IV, etc." I still cried. I didn't want my bracelet taken off by anyone that wasn't me or bf. That it was another male was just worse. He put it on my other wrist, and asked me the significance. I told him it was an anniversary gift from bf. I was so sad. When mom got there, she asked if I'd called bf, but I hadn't, because cell phones can mess up the stuff that saves people's lives. I asked Mom to go call him. She asked if there was anything special I wanted to tell him, and all I could think was, "I can't come up and see him, and I love him very much." Isn't that sad? I couldn't think of anything more worthwhile. V__V Sorry bf. So she went away with my sis, so they could both smoke while they called various people. They always go away for a long time. So I watched TV. When they came back, bf called my phone, and mom picked it up. Apparently he called and something like "Can you please tell Runa I love her and..." Mom cut him off, telling him to hold on, and she handed it to me. I felt bad, cause I didn't want to kill anyone for a phone call, but I was so happy to hear his voice. Made me cry just a little when we got cut off. But it was okay. I felt better just hearing his voice. I'm sorry I worried him. But anyway, I think the pain meds are starting to work now. Or at least make me sleepy. Nope, nevermind. If I touch something that hurts, or move more than a little, the pain is just as great. I took that medicine at like 2 45. It's 5 45 now. Geez. Oh well. Anyway, I went back for testing, and when I came back, they were like "We still need a urine sample...." See, what had happened earlier was, they needed a urine sample, and asked right after I got an IV in, but they wouldn't let me get up in case I'd hurt my spine. So my options were to either use a bed pan, or to have a bag thing attached to my urethra/pee exit. Neither of those was acceptable to me. So I politely told her then, "I'm sorry, but if those are my only options, then I'm afraid you can't have any of my urine. I'd be more than happy to give you one if I could use the bathroom." She told me it wasn't possibly until my results came back. Then she told me that it was mainly to check for pregnancy. I'M A VIRGIN. I already had told her that. The worst part of the entire ordeal was that, I, in actual fact, really really really really needed to pee. I held it for 5-6 hours though. I was NOOOT using a bed pan. So I held it until the results came back. *dances* wahahahahaha. My will is greater than their obstinancy. Anyway, that's about it. I was banged up, but I wasn't seriously injured. I have injuries in all sorts of places, and Mom told me I couldn't work today, but beyond that, I'm good. I got a doctor's note. Good night. I'm napping now.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Emergency Room.....fuuuuuuuuuuuun......
Today, I found that children are hypochondriacs and no matter how cute they are, 63 pounds is incredibly heavy when they're out of commission. Actually, I think I'll just do this in chronological order.
-Was woken up because Mom was sleeping and Chance wanted a Wii game, so he decided calling me was the best thing to do. He told me to tell Nana about the new game he wanted. This was an hour before I wanted to be up. I went to bed at 4 am.
-Got up, then Mom got up, told her the message, got on Facebook and manga-reading things
-Got dressed, got clothes for Chay together, and went to Sis's house
-Stopped by a store and bought drinks for everyone
-Got Chay dressed, waited for Mimi to stop playing with her neighbors so we could go to the park
-Picked up TJ, went to the park
-Played with the kids, sweated a LOT, flopped down on the play thing
-Swung, got pushed on the the swing, TJ was texting, so I confiscated his phone
-Mimi went down a slide when I wasn't there because I didn't want to play her games to get her down.
-Landed on her back. IMMEDIATELY screamed how her back was broken. Seriously cried.
-Chay tried to persuade her to stay, she cried for her mom, TJ's friends showed up
-decided Mimi needed to go home, ordered Chay around (he was surprisingly helpful and nonargumentative) and asked TJ if he wanted me to take him home
-He said he'd stay, I took the kids home, but asked if they wanted ice cream first
-Went to the same store, got ice cream for all of us and a sour spray for the two of them
-Didn't let them eat ice cream in my car, took them home,
-There was a water spray thing for kids being set up there by the mommies because our mommy got it for them.
-I helped out a bit, ate ice cream, left
came home, had a tiny bit of time, used the bathroom, got dressed, left for work
-Apparently went to the wrong store. Got there 10 minutes early.
-Got directions to the Owen one (where I was s'posed to work tonight) and promptly panicked and got lost
-Wandered for a good ten minutes
-Got out my GPS and found it while getting stuck in traffic.
-Was 30 minutes late. Felt horrible. Was ready to cry.
-Worked hard, but the customers were like, MEAN! They were scary....I had the most voids in one work session that I have EVER had. (two) Which means I screwed up their orders and had to give them money back or something.
-Ended up taking nearly an hour to close up, but this shop closes at 8, so it was great, I thought.
-The last 30 minutes of the work before we closed was PACKED with ppl though.
-I was in a pretty good mood, stopped by my sis's work cause I wanted to get gas and a coffee-chino from Wendy's. That failed.
-When I got there, she sat me down, had me eat a really yummy sub, all the workers treated me like their own little sister, and I got free stuff. (whoot!)
-I gave them food from my job, cause I had a ton and no one else that worked with me that night wanted it.
-Sis asked me to take Mimi to the emergency room because her back was still hurting her.
-Agreed to. Was given Mimi's social card and birth certificate.
-Picked up Mimi, got her dressed, grabbed a blankie and snacks for her, courtesy of Kris.
-Went to the emergency room at a hospital out of the way. Bf called on my way. I was happy. Didn't want to hang up. Talked to him on speaker phone the rest of the way. >.> <.<
-Checked Mimi in, everyone thought I was her mother. I do mean EVERYONE. Had to set them straight when I checked her in though....identity fraud and all that.
-Paid 81 dollars for her to be seen. O_O
-Waited four hours.
-Mimi fell out after one hour.
-After 3 hours, we were moved to a new room different from the waiting room.
-She was asleep. I carried her 63 pound body. T__T
-People sharing our room listened to rap and basketball on the TV nearly the whole time. As long as they didn't bother her, I didn't care. Played on my phone. Wished I had grabbed a book from home, even if it would have cost me even more gas.
-At 1:15 am, they saw her. An 8 minute long examination of her sleepy childness, and she was given a mild antibiotic for her ear. Yes. I waited four hours for an 8 minute 'interview'.
-SHOWEJFROSDJKF(!*#@*$#&$%($%($*&$%&$($(*&$%)
-The above was not a typo.
-Took Mimi to her mom's work, to give the report.
-Ended up staying there over an hour, during which some strange guy hit on my sis repeatedly. He asked what my problem was. I looked at him, smiled, and said "I've been at the hospital for the last four hours with a 5 year old. HER five year old. I'm tired." He looked all concerned, asked what was wrong, etc. Hmph.
-Got free food. Whoot. (Didn't really care by this point)
-Mimi's mom asked if Mimi wanted to stay with her at work instead of going home to Kris. T_T D*@)@#*$&%()#*$&%*%)#($*$&%
-Of course she wanted to. One thing, that's against the rules and they likely would have gotten caught.
-Ended up taking Mimi home with me.
-Then showered with me. btw, teaching a 5 yr old how to bathe by example is a pain. Literally. She got soap in my eyes, commented on my body, confused the he** out of me, and then ran around loudly in this sleeping household. *siiiiiiiiiigh*
-I've been around children too much today. I'm censoring myself.
-Had her watch Barney and Sesame St. til her mom came to get her. She nearly fell out. So did I.
-Realized my skin is shedding. D(@*#&$%^%*$(((#(#&$&$^$%^$&#&#^#%@&@&$#^&$*&$)
-I'm ready to drop.
While listening to a song on the radio, found that it suited me rather well. I also find myself nearly despicable for it. =_=
DOES anyone still read each other's blogs? Genuine curiosity
-Was woken up because Mom was sleeping and Chance wanted a Wii game, so he decided calling me was the best thing to do. He told me to tell Nana about the new game he wanted. This was an hour before I wanted to be up. I went to bed at 4 am.
-Got up, then Mom got up, told her the message, got on Facebook and manga-reading things
-Got dressed, got clothes for Chay together, and went to Sis's house
-Stopped by a store and bought drinks for everyone
-Got Chay dressed, waited for Mimi to stop playing with her neighbors so we could go to the park
-Picked up TJ, went to the park
-Played with the kids, sweated a LOT, flopped down on the play thing
-Swung, got pushed on the the swing, TJ was texting, so I confiscated his phone
-Mimi went down a slide when I wasn't there because I didn't want to play her games to get her down.
-Landed on her back. IMMEDIATELY screamed how her back was broken. Seriously cried.
-Chay tried to persuade her to stay, she cried for her mom, TJ's friends showed up
-decided Mimi needed to go home, ordered Chay around (he was surprisingly helpful and nonargumentative) and asked TJ if he wanted me to take him home
-He said he'd stay, I took the kids home, but asked if they wanted ice cream first
-Went to the same store, got ice cream for all of us and a sour spray for the two of them
-Didn't let them eat ice cream in my car, took them home,
-There was a water spray thing for kids being set up there by the mommies because our mommy got it for them.
-I helped out a bit, ate ice cream, left
came home, had a tiny bit of time, used the bathroom, got dressed, left for work
-Apparently went to the wrong store. Got there 10 minutes early.
-Got directions to the Owen one (where I was s'posed to work tonight) and promptly panicked and got lost
-Wandered for a good ten minutes
-Got out my GPS and found it while getting stuck in traffic.
-Was 30 minutes late. Felt horrible. Was ready to cry.
-Worked hard, but the customers were like, MEAN! They were scary....I had the most voids in one work session that I have EVER had. (two) Which means I screwed up their orders and had to give them money back or something.
-Ended up taking nearly an hour to close up, but this shop closes at 8, so it was great, I thought.
-The last 30 minutes of the work before we closed was PACKED with ppl though.
-I was in a pretty good mood, stopped by my sis's work cause I wanted to get gas and a coffee-chino from Wendy's. That failed.
-When I got there, she sat me down, had me eat a really yummy sub, all the workers treated me like their own little sister, and I got free stuff. (whoot!)
-I gave them food from my job, cause I had a ton and no one else that worked with me that night wanted it.
-Sis asked me to take Mimi to the emergency room because her back was still hurting her.
-Agreed to. Was given Mimi's social card and birth certificate.
-Picked up Mimi, got her dressed, grabbed a blankie and snacks for her, courtesy of Kris.
-Went to the emergency room at a hospital out of the way. Bf called on my way. I was happy. Didn't want to hang up. Talked to him on speaker phone the rest of the way. >.> <.<
-Checked Mimi in, everyone thought I was her mother. I do mean EVERYONE. Had to set them straight when I checked her in though....identity fraud and all that.
-Paid 81 dollars for her to be seen. O_O
-Waited four hours.
-Mimi fell out after one hour.
-After 3 hours, we were moved to a new room different from the waiting room.
-She was asleep. I carried her 63 pound body. T__T
-People sharing our room listened to rap and basketball on the TV nearly the whole time. As long as they didn't bother her, I didn't care. Played on my phone. Wished I had grabbed a book from home, even if it would have cost me even more gas.
-At 1:15 am, they saw her. An 8 minute long examination of her sleepy childness, and she was given a mild antibiotic for her ear. Yes. I waited four hours for an 8 minute 'interview'.
-SHOWEJFROSDJKF(!*#@*$#&$%($%($*&$%&$($(*&$%)
-The above was not a typo.
-Took Mimi to her mom's work, to give the report.
-Ended up staying there over an hour, during which some strange guy hit on my sis repeatedly. He asked what my problem was. I looked at him, smiled, and said "I've been at the hospital for the last four hours with a 5 year old. HER five year old. I'm tired." He looked all concerned, asked what was wrong, etc. Hmph.
-Got free food. Whoot. (Didn't really care by this point)
-Mimi's mom asked if Mimi wanted to stay with her at work instead of going home to Kris. T_T D*@)@#*$&%()#*$&%*%)#($*$&%
-Of course she wanted to. One thing, that's against the rules and they likely would have gotten caught.
-Ended up taking Mimi home with me.
-Then showered with me. btw, teaching a 5 yr old how to bathe by example is a pain. Literally. She got soap in my eyes, commented on my body, confused the he** out of me, and then ran around loudly in this sleeping household. *siiiiiiiiiigh*
-I've been around children too much today. I'm censoring myself.
-Had her watch Barney and Sesame St. til her mom came to get her. She nearly fell out. So did I.
-Realized my skin is shedding. D(@*#&$%^%*$(((#(#&$&$^$%^$&#&#^#%@&@&$#^&$*&$)
-I'm ready to drop.
While listening to a song on the radio, found that it suited me rather well. I also find myself nearly despicable for it. =_=
DOES anyone still read each other's blogs? Genuine curiosity
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Anger
So...I got rather upset with bf tonight. I've been prodding my mom to spend time with me lately, and when we finally were, reading lolcats of all things, I told bf that i was talking with her. He waited a while, then wrote something along the lines of "If you're still playing with your mom, I think I'll head to bed" I mean, I know he's got to get up in the morning, and he's prolly not happy that I didn't get home til 10 tonight, but geez. He won't be able to contact me at all for a week soon....And I've been dying to talk to him all day. I really wanted to. But recently.....Okay, here's the sit:
-Mom and Cin are estranged.
-Cin called Chay a motherfucker IN FRONT OF HIM and went off the handle about Mimi not getting the attention Chay does.
-Mimi is peeing and pooping on herself. My diagnosis is that she is too 'busy' to go to the bathroom, she doesn't like being alone, she prefers the negative attention she gets from it over the no attention she gets normally, and she doesn't know what to do when she's scared of the bathroom's darkness.
-Chris (my sister) is going off the handle on Mimi (who is 5) about this, telling her that she's causing her machines to break by constantly having to wash clothes because of her
-Chris is battling depression and called me over tonight
-She then spend 1/3 of my time with her texting my cousin
-Another 1/3 went to 'disciplining' the children
-Yeah, it was basically a failure. But I left a magazine that had interesting stuff in it for her to look through. I hope it helped
-Ran into my other sister at Walmart. She bought me yummies. I bought her Red Bull.
So basically, my family is fucking each other up and I'm about to disappear for a week. I don't feel guilt for it, but I do feel like when I come back everyone is gonna be pissed at me.....And I'll stick my tongue out at them and tell them to f*** off.
I want to have either a family get together or a friend get together for the fourth of july, but I can't have both, and there's dynamics where one party isn't talking to each other in my family and it's near impossible to get all of my friends together for a holiday, so I may just invite the family and cover my ears during the fireworks. The non-literal ones.
Someone save my family. I love them all and want them to love each other too. Why can't they all freakin' shut their mouths???? That's a sign of love too, you know!!!
-Mom and Cin are estranged.
-Cin called Chay a motherfucker IN FRONT OF HIM and went off the handle about Mimi not getting the attention Chay does.
-Mimi is peeing and pooping on herself. My diagnosis is that she is too 'busy' to go to the bathroom, she doesn't like being alone, she prefers the negative attention she gets from it over the no attention she gets normally, and she doesn't know what to do when she's scared of the bathroom's darkness.
-Chris (my sister) is going off the handle on Mimi (who is 5) about this, telling her that she's causing her machines to break by constantly having to wash clothes because of her
-Chris is battling depression and called me over tonight
-She then spend 1/3 of my time with her texting my cousin
-Another 1/3 went to 'disciplining' the children
-Yeah, it was basically a failure. But I left a magazine that had interesting stuff in it for her to look through. I hope it helped
-Ran into my other sister at Walmart. She bought me yummies. I bought her Red Bull.
So basically, my family is fucking each other up and I'm about to disappear for a week. I don't feel guilt for it, but I do feel like when I come back everyone is gonna be pissed at me.....And I'll stick my tongue out at them and tell them to f*** off.
I want to have either a family get together or a friend get together for the fourth of july, but I can't have both, and there's dynamics where one party isn't talking to each other in my family and it's near impossible to get all of my friends together for a holiday, so I may just invite the family and cover my ears during the fireworks. The non-literal ones.
Someone save my family. I love them all and want them to love each other too. Why can't they all freakin' shut their mouths???? That's a sign of love too, you know!!!
Mid-day post. Boo-ya~!
Yesterday I worked alot, then took my niece to the library with me, where she was moderately good, and then took her home, went home myself, and found that my mommy bought dinner for the entire family EXCEPT me. *siiiigh* I got to eat the leftovers of Chay's dinner. It was good. Then I took a shower, started to eat a banana pop, and went outside to call Bf and Rozy. Chay followed me. *Shrug* It wouldn't have mattered except he kept saying "Can we go in now?" and it got annoying. After a while he went in, and I finished my pop and followed within like 3 minutes, but he still said "FINALLY!" when I came in. *siiiigh* I was really tired. So then I got online for a few minutes, during which bf IMed me, then immediately called me after that. It was sorta funny. But Mom and Chay and even Ninny put up such a damned racket about me taking Chay to bed that I just gave up and went. At 10 pm. Chay was out within two minutes. I was out within 3. Mom got Chay up this morning, but he wouldn't get up, so I laid there and repeated tapped him until he got up. Without either of us (I think) ever opening our eyes. Then I went back to sleep til around 10, when the phone rang like 3 times in a row. I ignored it. Went back to sleep til 12. So I got 14 hours of sleep! Yay! Then I got up after one wierd dream turned odd after another, and sat around for a bit. Chay came home, whereas I scrambled for a shirt. Yes, I literally vaulted over furniture to get to my room and grab a shirt cause I thought a kid was coming home with him. LIES! But I wore the shirt for like....an hour, before I took it back off and had mom braid my hair, and then went to work cleaning the house up. Seriously, the house has been horrible lately. Mom can blame who she wants, but I clean up after myself for the most part. 10% was my stuff. *shrug* So while I put on music and cleaned, Mom skyped (scyped?) with my stepdad. T__T Really, they did. Then she calls me in to talk to him, during which everything he says gets broken up so that I can't understand it, and I stay away from the camera, even though mom says he can't see us. She so kindly explains to him that I'm half-naked. >( I don't appreciate that. I am not half-naked. I'm merely missing a shirt. I have everything else on, including pants in this hot weather. So then I went back to scrubbing the kitchen down and eventually have to ask for help cause I've never taken the oven apart before. Now I'm waiting for the cleaner to take effect and wishing bf wasn't at work so I could call him....Oh well. I have no idea what the rest of my day will be like. Cheers!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Exciting Things that have happened
-MY JUNIES GRADUATED!!! I'm so happy for them! >_<
-Bf stayed the night at my house for the first time. (My mom's house) Though...his parents don't know.....V_V
-RYOKOCHAN HAD HER BABY!!!!! Last week....she didn't give me a play by play like she said she would....booooo....Makes me sorta want one of my own....But I have time for that later. I hope. I mean, there's no guarantees I'll even survive tomorrow, but it's still likely that I'll be alive in a few years and finally ready for children.....maybe.
-My family stressed me so badly today that I lost my emotions. It's a fairly interesting phenomena where my emotions die, and I don't care about much of anything. I left my sister crying with the children, I went to work, and I hung up on my mom. I still feel no guilt, anger, or righteousness. Just....knowledge. I know what I did, I know what I've been told. All else is beyond me. I accept that. *shrug* I haven't gotten my emotions back. It's fine though. I know how I'm supposed to act and react to situations, so no one else will be bothered by it. I'll have them back soon enough.
-I played with rozy today! It was just a little awkward cause it's been awhile, but I'm looking forward to spending a whole week with her! Now if only my job would TELL ME WHEN I'M WORKING!!!!! *sigh* Sorry rozy. I get off around 5 tomorrow, so I'll call you before I take my niece on a date. I have to do damage control from today.
-I can't particularly think of anything else. I'm sure there's tons of things I've forgotten, but that's really about all I can think of when I'm this tired. Good night.
I couldn't find a better version of this song.
-Bf stayed the night at my house for the first time. (My mom's house) Though...his parents don't know.....V_V
-RYOKOCHAN HAD HER BABY!!!!! Last week....she didn't give me a play by play like she said she would....booooo....Makes me sorta want one of my own....But I have time for that later. I hope. I mean, there's no guarantees I'll even survive tomorrow, but it's still likely that I'll be alive in a few years and finally ready for children.....maybe.
-My family stressed me so badly today that I lost my emotions. It's a fairly interesting phenomena where my emotions die, and I don't care about much of anything. I left my sister crying with the children, I went to work, and I hung up on my mom. I still feel no guilt, anger, or righteousness. Just....knowledge. I know what I did, I know what I've been told. All else is beyond me. I accept that. *shrug* I haven't gotten my emotions back. It's fine though. I know how I'm supposed to act and react to situations, so no one else will be bothered by it. I'll have them back soon enough.
-I played with rozy today! It was just a little awkward cause it's been awhile, but I'm looking forward to spending a whole week with her! Now if only my job would TELL ME WHEN I'M WORKING!!!!! *sigh* Sorry rozy. I get off around 5 tomorrow, so I'll call you before I take my niece on a date. I have to do damage control from today.
-I can't particularly think of anything else. I'm sure there's tons of things I've forgotten, but that's really about all I can think of when I'm this tired. Good night.
I couldn't find a better version of this song.
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