Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Hm. I've been thinking....

first, yay birthday, I'm not a teen anymore.
second, i'm hungry again. *frown* And at work. So I can't really eat.
third, I want to talk to someone that's knowledgeable about the fields of work I'm interested in. I need to find a medium between what I'd be happy doing and what pays well. I need the money. I have to be able to support myself and my niece. *sigh* I don't want to move super far away, but it'd be for the best....
fourth, I've been thinking. A friend wants to do the JET program with me once we graduate from college. I think that'd be a good idea til I know what to do to get where I want. And I'm pretty sure I could take my niece with me. She'd be at a good age to begin learning another language. And then when I came back, well, we'd see where we end up. I just have to learn a nice balance between using a bit of money to help life be enjoyable, and keeping money tight to maintain us in times of need. Believe it or not, I used to be good at saving money. But it kept getting stolen, so I learned I needed to spend it when I could, because even if you put it up, it might not be there when you finally want to use it. And then you've essentially wasted your money.
Hmmm...My advisor/mentor intimidates me and makes it hard for me to voice my opinion if i'm not super confident about it. My previous counselor tried some shitty 'Why do you have to be responsible' stuff and didn't address what I should do to reach my goals at all. I'm really not certain who to address my questions to.
I've also been thinking about what kind of adult I want to be. But I'll think about that some other time, when i'm not super tired and at work. ^.^ Chao!

Interesting:

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Heyla~!

Life is an amazing and disgusting thing. In various ways. Being at home for a week with idiots and dependents and poor kids that don't have any say, and other kids that have all the say is probably one of the most stressful things I can experience. Hm. I was overcome with the random worry that I won't see them again. I do love them all. I just can't stand to watch them willing drop into mud instead of struggling to get out of it. They don't even have fun dropping into the mud, they curse and complain and cry about how it's not their fault they rolled into it themselves. Okay. I complain too much. In the spirit of embracing myself, I'm gonna do it to my heart's content!
SO MUCH WORK!!!!! Omgosh! Really, Teachers?! I am NOT superwoman! In fact, I'm a susceptible person to temptation! If I can do ANYTHING else besides work, I WILL DO IT! I don't even have to want to do it, just have the chance to! Don't look at me all disappointed when I get behind! >.<
Sometimes when I'm asking questions or something, I have moments where I just feel utterly stupid, like peeps in class are sitting there thinking "Why was she even allowed in here? She doesn't know shit." It makes me worried.
I have an eye problem! The doctor wanted me to go see an eye doctor, but I don't have one, or insurance for it, or the money for it. So I refused. She gave me some eye drops and told me to schedule a follow-up, so I did. The eye drops are amazing! I'm supposed to use them 4 times a day, 2 drops each time. Well, my eye won't fit two drops. It ends up wasted if I do two, so I do one. But everytime I use it, the itching and painful feeling in my eye eases and goes away~! After I used it the first time, I checked online, cause I was impressed with the soothing power of it. Apparently, it's supposed to cause irritation....*hangs head* I suppose that makes perfect sense in a warped, messed up kind of way. I have so many applications to fill out! But this time, I'll call first and make sure they aren't fully staffed first. I feel like such a fool for giving all those sweet people recommendations forms and basically wasting their time because they were fully staffed.
I had a paper due this week that I actually don't think is half-bad, especially considering I finished only an hour or two before class. I had fun in history this week because I got to be like "Sell me your dauuughhhhtersssssss" (Insert Creepy voice and salivating mouth) for factories. We kicked ASS! The parents were like (the ppl playing parents) "....Well damn. Just let me pack her up nice and tidy for you." Our opposition was lame. They weren't very good at it. There were lots of good reasons why the girls should have stayed home, and the only called up one important one (IMO). I'm so TIIIIIRED~! I need sleeeeeep! I got maybe an hour before work, since Language Table was last night. I have a Tea Ceremony at Duke Gardens today, and then sushi, followed by Contra Dancing.
Okay, I ended up looking over dresses to find my cousin her birthday, and me a little happy package. I was foiled at every turn. It's prolly for the best. DAMNIT! The next shift hasn't shown! It's 20 minutes past the time I was supposed to be off, and sweetly dreaming in my delicious bed! I;m so tired I'm not certain I can stand straight, and he's not picking up at all. I don't wanna deal with this when my weekend is packed and stressful looking all by itself.
Brief Overview of Weekend:
-Japan Table
-1 hour of sleep
-8 hours of work
-MAYBE 4 hours of sleep
-Tea Ceremony
-MAYBE sushi
-Contra for 4 hours
-MAYBE food, DEFINITELY a shower
-Work for 4 hours
-SLEEP for TWELVE (if possible) hours
-Go on a double date with M-chan and her bf and my bf
-Come home after 3-4 hours
-Sleep- I *WILL* Get sleep! *glares at bf*
-Go back to work, hopefully do the hw I need to turn in.
And by then, it's Monday again.

Actually, I didn't finish this, and ended up leaving it all day. The Tea Ceremony was impressive. I feel really guilty for being one of the guests that actually got to be on the tatami mats and actively participate in it. I've done it before. I should have let someone else do it. I stopped by the person who was gathering volunteers, and she counted me....I couldn't say I DIDNT want to, cause that would be a lie, but I really shouldn't have done it. I'm sure others would have liked to feel the blood seep out of their legs until they went completely numb and had to be brought back to life in a painful awakening.
I'm considering writing a tag on my shirt that says "Caution: Bad Breath" because I can't seem to avoid foods that make my breath stink today. But they taste so guud (sp intended)~! BTW, isn't it kinda oxymoronish to eat a low-fat dip with carrots and drink a soda? =.= Oh well.
I actually left Contra early tonight. I got kinda bored with it. All my partners were too gentle with me, except for this new guy that didn't know how to grip properly. Every time I went to tell him, I froze, cause I didn't know when good timing would be to tell him that. He was very enthusiastic about pulling me into his arms though. Even with the wrong grip. It was cute. =.= Though I occasionally just kinda fell into his arms cause of the vigor. Heh. Okay, sorry, he was rather cute, being all nervous, and his curiously deep voice, and how taaaall he was. Eheh. And then....okay, now I'm rambling about a random guy whose name I'm not even sure I know. I think if I tried super hard, I could remember. But I just don't care that much. I missed K-chan. She couldn't come tonight, and I'd come to depend on her to be my comfort. I DID get to Waltz tonight though. It was GREAT! One guy randomly sweeps me up, and directs me in the Victorian style. Another guy asks, I tell him I'm bad at it, and he's like "I'm sure together we'll manage to work something out." It was nice. Tonight was one of the first nights I didn't particularly have to ask guys to be my partner. They asked me! *happyhappyhappy* Oh, there was this one time, where I went to ask a guy, and a guy went to ask the girl near the guy I was about to ask, when that guy asked the girl, so both of us automatically just kinda turned to each other and went on the dance floor without ever really stopping. It was actually pretty funny. I think I said something kinda witty like "Guess we're both the left-overs" or something, but I can't honestly remember. Heheh.
I lotioned up after my shower for the first time in a while. I really need to get back in the habit of doing that. It's better for my skin.
Today when I get up I'm gonna go buy myself a birthday cake with the money my mom gave me to get myself a birthday gift. I'm excited about that, though I feel sad that I have to buy my own cake. (This is NOT me asking for anyone to buy my cake!) At least if it's bad, it'll have been my own fault for picking it. ^.^
I'm so excited about the beach trip I'm taking with K-chan over Easter Break. I'm excited about the small paycheck, but I really wanna go take a few days at the beach for once. I always plan things like that and nothing turns out right. But this is spontaneous and safe enough for me to be excited.

Okay, I'm bored with typing now. Lemme find a video and I'll post this.

Video:



Quote of the Day: "Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest.
...but about who came and never left your side."

Monday, March 8, 2010

Hm hmmmm

Heyla~!

^.^ I'm in a good mood. I woke up this morning to an IM from TJ, after he spent so long talking to me last night. Heehee. I'll get to see him for the first time in....at LEAST 3 months! We're gonna catch a movie this coming weekend. We thought it would be hard to pick a movie neither of us have seen, but there's a ton I'd like to see, and he hasn't seen them, so it'll all be good. Boo...He just went to sleep. Oh well. It IS late.
I'm excited to have a break from school. I need one to catch up with my tasks. And to just relax. No work, no school, just me and my fam, and driving to do their bidding....okay, I'm not gonna think about that right now. Yay freinds! I wonder if Rozy will be available too....
WOW~! These vanilla creme wafers are AMAZING!!! They smell good and taste yummy, so I can't help being pleased. The cappuccino ones were great too. I'm glad I bought them. ^_^ Sorry, I seem to be easily distracted right now.
Actually, I got up for good around 1:30 pm on Sunday. Did some hw, cleaned my room, tried new foods, and showered. I had a good time relaxing and doing things at my own pace. I went to go to bed at like 8 30, but started to read a good book while I put my lotion on, and ended up reading that book til well past 1 am! So now I'm kinda tired and trying to figure out what I'll do about it. The way I've set up my schedule, there's really nothing I CAN do about it. I've been thinking I might want to give up one of my shifts, so I can help others out when they call, so maybe this shift is the one I should give up? It is an obscene hour to start one's day. But it's also one of my more peaceful shifts when I can do a lot if I choose, and very little if I choose not to. Augh....Oh well. I don't know, maybe I should talk to my boss and see what he thinks.
Hm. I have a lot of projects I need to be working on, so I'll get started on those, and let you be. I'll leave you with a little video. Enjoy~!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Zero Comments.....

At first, I felt bad that I hadn't even checked my blog in a week. Then, I checked for any comments. And there were nada. So, I no longer feel any guilt. Suck on those eggs.

ROZY! You were in the emergency room?! O_O I really hope you're okay!!!! ;_; Also, where do you work? I'm super curious.

I just found out bf also does not like strawberries.

I am super tired. I've been at work for the past 7 hours. I've read manga for just about the entire time. I'm a REALLY bad student! (IxI) Oh well. I'm going on a trip with bf today to a historic site. I have to write a paper on it. Makes me a little nervous, since I'm so tired. I worry I won't notice everything I should. Hmmm...I think its time I compile a new list of things I need to be doing.

-Filling out Japan Application
-Telling my mom about being a sponsor while I'm in Japan, since I don't have 10,000 dollars to my name.....I'm seriously dreading that....
-Japanese homework
-Read the rest of Wuthering Heights. *sigh*
-Catch up on my reading assignments for Jap Lit too....
-Call kk, and babydaddy, and Rozy too!
-Buy Chay's birthday gift...
-Do a Research Paper for my Psych class....and the reading questions
-Write a paper for my History class
-While we're discussing papers, I need to do one on GenjinoMonogatari as well
-Not to mention the Historic Site Paper I'm getting material for today

....Can I commit suicide now?....No....that's against my beliefs....could a miracle come and knock me the f*** out please?

I'm really cussing far too much. I need to work on it. I was just thinking a little while ago that I would like to hear myself when I talk to these drunk people and guests, and then record that and my voice when I talk with my freinds and loved ones. I bet I sound sickening. I unconsciously heighten my voice, and speak softer, with more formal speech. *sigh* I'm such a fake. But its my natural reaction now....I do it before I realize it. I also smile a lot more, and seem much more easy to please. *frown* It's true that someone being polite to me when I'm in that mode does make me happy. But it still feels like a lie.

My hair is nice lately. ^_^ It makes me happy. I really need to use the restroom. *scramblescramble* I should....go now....brb....

I forgot my social obligations
-Email the Japan club members about doing an obstacle course....ugh...
-Make a Kimono Presentation for Club
-Maybe be a go between for a Grand Asia Market Trip
-Sex Fair....*sigh* Must make fetish Dart Board
-Work....
-etc.

Okay. I'm gonna try and not focus on those things. I think I will focus on today. I'll pick up bf...And we'll go to Dunkin' Donuts for breakie. Then bf will drive to the site, and I can read on the way. Then We'll explore the site all day, until I know what it's all about! Then we'll drive to a bookstore, and then I can relax with my bookies. Then we'll drive back, and I'll shower and then sleep til my next shift at work~! Sounds great....except I feel like collapsing right now. *sigh*

So...I once again forgot to post this, even though I wrote it hours ago. Eheheh...Sorry? Trip was good, I had fun, and got to nap on the way there. I wonder why bf's driving makes me feel so sick? I don't mean to complain when he drives, but I feel like my tummy is gonna jump out my throat....Egh. Anyways, I'm soooo sleeping now! G'night~!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Okay.....and.....?

I'm not really awake right now. You see, I'm pretending. I have to be 'awake' in order to be at work, but really, I'm just sleeping while waking. Or having a waking-sleep. Or a sleep-wake. *nods* Yup yup. And now I have to be awake until .....9 or so pm?
I haven't done any homework for today, and I have two assignments for my psych class due. I really wanna drop that class, but the only real assignment I have left in there is an analytic paper. And those really aren't difficult if you know what you're focusing on.
My cold sore is retreating! WAhahahaha....ow...It's begun to hurt. =.=
I was looking at BF's blog posts a year ago. I kinda wanna see mine from a year ago now....Hm. BBL.
This is interesting. Last year, I took a Passionate Love Scale test, and for kicks, I redid it. My score was lower now, but I still scored in the Passionate Love range. ^_^ Heh.

Argh. I referenced a story on my blog a year ago, and suddenly had to backtrack. I'd been trying to figure out why bf said that I was going through a tough time, but since his blog design is wacky and unhelpful right now, I had to just scan through, and I got so distracted! Darn it!

Anyway, about my weekend. Siblings Day was pretty cool. Chay got really obnoxious when he was hungry, so we never even got to finish making our quilt and had to leave, and it was 20 minutes before he did anything but grunt. He really liked the lunch though. We ate at Fountain Dining Hall. Then we went to the IRC office, where we used their restroom, since I couldn't think of a way for us both to use the bathroom without leaving him alone, which I REALLY didn't think was a good idea. Then we went to the bookstore, where he wanted a Naruto novel. I think for his birthday I'll get him the first volume and most recent volume of Naruto, as well as a postcard booklet for him to keep postcards in. I'll send him postcards from Japan, so he won't forget me. Then we went to a Bee-keeping class, where I fell asleep. The brat tattled on me! They apparently did an experiment, where you had to look in your partner's eyes, and he raises his hand and says "Teacher, I can't do the experiment because my Aunt fell asleep!" I IMMEDIATELY wake up and say "I'm not asleep!" which of course sends a round of laughter through the class. Even the teacher looked amused. V_V So embarrassing. Then we started the scavenger hunt. Chay wasn't all that interested until we started vandalizing property. We were painting in the tunnel, and he ADORED that.....Makes me a little worried, honestly. Then we went and did an obstacle race with each other. He's adorable, even if he's rude and not very conscientious. V_V I'm really bossy with him too, so I was a little embarrassed in front of my IRC friends. I felt very motherly. *sigh* I should stop being so self-conscious about it. Then we went to the library, where I treated him to coffee and a cookie, while we waited for the Creamery to open. Turns out it isn't open on those days, so we'd wasted our time. But Chay and I got to sit there and talk for a while. Then he had to use the bathroom. It was all the coffee and soda, I just know it. We then walked to Talley and waited for Nana to pick us up. Then we went to Cook-Out and got food. Bf didn't want to join us. *tear* jk. Then I forced her to fill out the FAFSA stuff. It ended up making us both a little late, but I had awesome timing when I called K-chan to see if she'd drive me, since I was so sleep-deprived. She was literally walking out the door, so it was great timing. Except that I had to rush my mom and nephew out of my room then, so we wouldn't be late. V_V I felt bad about that. Then I went Contra Dancing. I always managed to have a partner when I danced, but it was a close call once or twice. I don't really like asking the men to dance, but I dislike sitting out a dance even more. It's so fun, though I've noticed I laughed rather less than I did the first time I went. I like to think I danced better though.

Interesting song that pandora just played for me: