I feel like a drama reject, rejected for having too much drama. @__@ So a lot has happened, and in my very interesting attempt to 'live like i wanna live, sleep like i wanna sleep' i haven't found time to blog. I do apologize for that. So lets see if I can keep from jumping around too much.
1. I took bf home for Halloween with me. (If I'd known rozy was there, I would have called and we could have hung out!!! *cry cry*) It was a lot of running on a little amount of sleep.
2. I forgot my makeup for my costume, so ended up using my cousin's but she's a lot whiter than I am, apparently. I didn't know how much til I looked at the pictures. Beyond that, my costume was amusing. Everyone was like O__O Ru....na....? It looks good, but it doesn't suit you..... Which is total BS.
3. That night I had to run to my sis's and bf drove because i was so tired. I was nearly physically ill cause it was dark, we were on the same road I'd crashed onto, bf wasn't familiar with my car, and he jerks way too much when he drives. There were prolly lesser factors that played into this, but those are the ones I'll mention.
4. My sister had gone drinking and left the baby with my brother. Who is way too nosy. I got pissed. But there's nothing I can do, and her friend did die last week. *siiiiigh* I don't approve at all, but short of taking her kids I don't see anything I could do. Even then, it'll prolly get her free to have more and do worse.
5. When I went to bed that night I literally passed out. I didn't move for at least 10 straight hours. Woke up soooooo sore. So, *grin* I turned over on my other side and went back to sleep for an hour. Even though we were supposed to get up at the time I woke up. Heehee. Couches are comfy.
6. Bf and I went out for breakfast at a place that has rather good food and usually pretty good deals. I couldn't quite finish my meal. So I got take-home foods! Then bf asked if he could drive back. I figured it was daylight, he'd be more familiar with the car, and it was prolly my tiredness that made the ride seem so bad. So I let him drive.
7. I was wrong.
8. I was so wrong. I sat there clenched up, stomach nearly painfully clenching, fighting nausea and a headache, nearly praying. The whole way back. At one point (and I know this is gross) I threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it back down. On the plus side, it didn't taste too bad. On the minus side, I do. not. throw. up. EVER if I can help it.
9. He dropped himself off at his place, he was late for a meeting. I drove myself back home very shakily, trembling and still kinda fighting nausea. When I went to park, well, shit hit the fan.
10. I had so many choices! But I had to pick next to this gray SUV looking thing cause it was closest to my room. I wanted to park perfectly so I wouldn't cause trouble for anyone else trying to park. Yeah....fuck me. I ended up with the wheel locked, confused myself about backing up, rushed it, panicked, and ended up hitting the damned car in the rear tire/passenger door area. Scratches & a small dent on his part. Huge ass dent and nearly took out my light on my car. If insurance gets involved, well, I'll be kicked off my insurance.
11. I parked, and then called my mom. She told me to move to a new parking spot and not do anything. Call bf. He pretty much advises the same thing. Call RB. She doesn't pick up. I sit there for the longest time thinking about it, freaking out, and come to an epiphany. Intentions and "I thought about it..."s just don't count for anything to someone else. Actions are what count, and my action here would be a defining factor in my character. So, my stupid ass left a note with my name and number. Saying I was sorry. And to call me if he needed repairs. I would like to note here, that it was SUPERFICIAL DAMAGE!!! He drives fine with it like it is.
12. Well, he calls me. Tells me he'll take it to a few places, see what their estimates are. What he comes back with tonight is a nearly 900 dollar price for getting the dent out and repainting the area. Even I cannot truly believe that's the cheapest. So I'll likely do some checking around to see if there's anything cheaper. Because I just cannot pay that much. I have a little over a 100 dollars to my name right now.
Bf has offered to lend me the money, but I really don't wanna borrow from my boyfreind. It just seems very...dangerous to mix a relationship and a financial crisis. I'm gonna either go to the bank or call the bank tomorrow (today actually) and see if there's any way they could loan me 900. I'll pay everything back by the end of December if my calculations about my pay are correct. Am I just being stubborn to want to refuse bf's offer? >.
Also, bf is in Phoenix right now, so I can't actually see him. I miss him. But Shhh, don't tell. ~_^ I realized I don't look around nearly as much when I know he isn't going to be there. *shakes head* I'm so silly.
I CANT AFFORD LIVING!!!!!!! *frown* I need a) a much better job with more pay and more easy hours. b)To learn to exist without food or clothing costs c)Marry someone rich who'll take care of everything and just let me bury myself in a book for the rest of my life. (j/k on the last one. *grin* maybe) Nah, that's not my style. I have too much pride for c. *sigh* I wonder how long pride lasts....*curls up*
In addition, I have the extreme difficulty of finishing my InterDisciplinary Studies Major plan, arranging every class I will take, and re-editing my essay for the same IDS program. I'd call it ridiculous, but I think it's obvious.
I've taken three tests this week. Yay....I was late for one, unprepared for another, and the last one was open-book open-note. Which would have helped me if I'd taken notes I could read. *cries*
Okay, that's been my life so far. But I'll be okay! I know I complained alot, but really, I was just trying to tell you all the stuff that's been happening. *sigh* Hope everyone's doing good!
I'm in love with this guy now. I mean, seriously, I would go googly-eyed and resign myself to fate if he were real:
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