So Cin has begun to clue in to how she is no longer MJ's parent, or at least, that's how it feels to her. Basically, my Facebook status went like this:
GRAR! THIS CHILD! Apparently I don't know how to tuck her in the way she likes. Hubby, apparently you spoil her! *feeling inadequate* (Because Hubby had to go in after me and 'fix' it tonight)
Hubby and Cin and I had some friendly comments where Hubby and I ribbed at each other over spoiling her. Cin chimes in with a 'Awww. Look at you two sounding like parents....' and Hubby and I had to stop and blink. SOUND like? Bitch, we ARE. But I, unsure if she meant it in a hurtful way, refrained from commenting. Hubby, stating that it didn't matter if HE was mean, responded '*Raises eyebrow* I think we are parents as far as I'm concerned'.
Frankly, I agree with him. Her comment came off as condescending in a 'Look at you pretending to be parents' kind of way, and it was a little hurtful. Obviously we're her parents. We feed her, clothe her, love her, and discipline her. If Cin were dead, there would be no question from any person's point of view, yes we're her parents. But because Cin is alive (and kicking), she took that as an attack on her being MJ's mom. She responded with (I will quote):
And yeah, maybe it hurt her a little, but for her to deny that we're MJ's parents? That's a blow to me!
So I'm in boxing you this because I was extremely offended by the comment HUBBY posted......I'm not sure if it was meant the way I took it however I was giving you guys a compliment and found you guys conversation to be cute and my comment was a compliment and I don't understand or appreciate the response. To me that last comment was not only unnecessary but below the belt.......like I said I'm not sure how it was meant....it's obvious that you guys take awesome care of MJ and do a great job, however you both are uncle and ain't...not parent. Thanks for making me feel even more awful than I already do. This whole situation is difficult for everyone involved. You, Hubby, MJ and me however I try really hard to respect boundaries and be appreciative and respectful of you two......please try to consider my feelings in the same manner that I do you guys.I don't know if either of you comprehend how hurtful that was but it was...
And yeah, maybe it hurt her a little, but for her to deny that we're MJ's parents? That's a blow to me! So I responded (with liberal comments from Hubby about how I was too harsh, or 'oh, lets not go there' so it was highly edited):
Cin, we're her parents. We're her Aunt and Uncle, true, but we're also her parents. You really need to come to terms with that. You are her mother, and we know and accept that. But we're raising her, and plan to be doing so until she's grown and in college or has a job that will support her. Frankly, your 'sounding like parents' comment was hurtful to us, and made it sound like we were pretending to be parents. Hubby didn't intend to hurt you with his response, but your comment was also hurtful. We weren't sure how you meant your comment either. It would certainly be easier if we can get along, and we're trying to, but you can't take ONE comment from us as being disrespectful of you and start drama. Just because we're her parents now doesn't mean that you're not also her mom. Ok? When we first brought her to our home, we sat down and agreed that we're her parents. Definition of parent is: one that begets offspring, OR one that brings up and cares for another. So we're all her parents, as far as my opinion goes. We've been respectful of you. You're the one taking us as a joke.
So now that I'm rereading all of it, I'm thinking we all took offense rather easily, and it will hopefully be ironed out tomorrow with little to no drama. But knowing my sister's perchance for it, and her complete boredom at present, who knows who she's going to drag into the argument before it gets worked out. I know if she annoys me too much, I'll just delete her on FB. I warned all family that if drama was started with me, you were gone. The only reason I haven't dropped the cousin from my last post is because she's pregnant and already losing most of her friends with her offensive posts.
Just keeping you up to date, and looking for opinions and comments. Thanks, goodnight!
1 comment:
I still think my comment was completely okay. I didn't attack her or say anything about how she isn't a mom or any of that other stuff she tried to imply that I said. I was merely challenging her implication that we were somehow playing at being parents. I never said we were taking her place, or that we were somehow parents and she is not. But the reality is that we are her parents too. To suggest otherwise is just stupid. I'm glad she was able to accept that with your conversation/discussion afterward.
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