Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Being a Mother

Because apparently once you're married, you seem to constantly have the specter of "Next is kids...." like in that old chant. You know, "First comes love, next comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage!" O__O I'm on a birth control nearly guaranteed to keep me from having kids for the next three years. (It has also slightly altered my personality and moods...but that'll be fixed once I'm off of it.... And that's not to say these changes are what will happen once I *am* pregnant....RIGHT?!?!?!) I sincerely wish I could stop thinking about children.
I miss my family, the kids crawling all over me, the constant weird hugs, and (I don't miss this....) the drama. I'm used to seeing my family more often than this, at the very least. It's weird to realize that I actually miss those brats (my siblings).
But yeah, I think that contributes to my wish for kids. Because I don't have little ones running around reminding me of why I don't want them.
Something else: I'm frickin' motherly. It even stands out to me. I just asked my husband "Have you finished your homework?" in an interrogating voice, like saying you can't have dessert before dinner. It made me stop and think for a minute. 'Damnit! I sound like a mom!' Hubby's response didn't really help: You'll be a good mother. *smirk* Of course my response was great: Of course I will. They will equally fear and love me, as it should be!

....I'm not sure why I'm so tired, but I'm going to stop this post here. Comments are appreciated, even though I can't damn respond to anyone else's blog.....

3 comments:

college kid said...

I think most people who know you already knew you were motherly.

april said...

Yeah, I agree with college kid ^

It *IS* a crazy feeling to realize you miss something that you didn't think you would.

Sorry to hear about the BC changes, but it's good you're recognizing the cause. I think I remember something about women being attracted to different types of men on the pill! Quick google search says that I am remembering a Scientific American article.

Caitlin said...

^^ I heard about that earlier this week. That's scary.

And yeah, you are the most motherly person ever. :)