Friday, April 26, 2013

Health and other things

I may delete parts of this, because I'm trying to get my mind to settle so I can go to sleep and not all of it is meant for public consumption. On the other hand, I may get lazy and just post whatever. Let me know if I get too intimate for you. ^.^

I went to get a physical from my doctor on Monday. She had my bloodwork back, and said most things were normal. My thyroid hormones were odd though. She told me I may have hypothyroidism and we scheduled again to meet next month to test my blood levels and see if the problem was persisting.
Now, from what I've looked up, the major thyroid problems can hit when you get pregnant, or have body changes. I'm sure everyone remembers that I'm on birth control (I'm sure I've complained enough) and in general, bc tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant. I'm not saying this is the cause; it's just a factor I'm acknowledging. I honestly don't think it's helping, if you know what I mean.
My mom told me she's had thyroid problems off and on, which is strange. I was told if I have a thyroid problem, it's easy to fix, but I would be on the medication for the rest of my life. I think some doctors have either messed up my mom's health with this, or the doctor was mistaken. I think you can guess which one is more likely.
Some of the effects of hypothyroidism include hypertension or hypo-tension  (which can cause) headaches, weight gain (because your metabolism isn't being controlled properly), dry skin, infertility (BIRTH CONTROL???), and other things.
I'm going to describe how things have been for the last year, and then I'm going to add a link of some girls' testimonies of their experience with Implanon.
First couple of months on Implanon: I was emotionally stunted. I would get angry out of context, mood swings that surprised me, and slowly my period decreased until I didn't have it anymore.
Months 3-9 (approximately): Extremely irrational anger, mood swings, I would be pissy over the stupidest things, and didn't get a period until the 9th month, at which point not only was I angry, I was sad. When I cry? Husband and I BOTH tend to panic. Also, breasts tend to be tender (continues even now. Lovely, right?).
Months 9-11: My anger fits started to end, my equilibrium was restored, and while I worried a lot, especially over my weight gain and irrational craving for sweets, I was pretty okay. Except for my periods, which only got worse. I had an eleven day, heavy period. Never in my life have I had a period last more than six days before that.
11-12 (which is now): I'm frickin' bipolar. Seriously. I cry over happy things, sad things, angry things, tragic things, funny things. Anything can set me off. I also tend to be irritable, and sometimes browbeat others into either agreeing with me, or just shutting up. My patience is minimal. A worrying thing that I hope is just sleep deprivation is this cloudy-mind. I nearly hit a car because I didn't see them coming up beside me, but I really wanna blame that on their speeding. But boy, if something good happens, I'm good. I had a new cashier take my order at McD's, and she was so cute, fumbling for the right keys, that I went to work humming. Not just humming, skipping and grinning and acting like I just got proposed to. I stayed in that good mood for hours, too. Reb (hubby) is the ultimate cause of happiness. If he touches me, I'm happy. If he hugs me, I can't stop smiling. If he kisses me? I'm over the moon, I'm so happy. If he spoils me, by buying something I wanted, or taking me somewhere, or picking out a pretty dress for me? I'm ready to cry, I'm so ecstatic. I'm also apparently possibly hypothyroid positive.

Now, Imagine going through those mood swings in one day. I did that. Today. I laughed, I snapped, I cried, I lost patience, then found it again. It's really hard, but I can handle the mood swings. It's what's going on UNDER my skin that worries me. IF this product causes Hypothyroidism (for which you will be on meds FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE), I would have wanted to know. Especially as my family history indicates a genetic possibility of it developing if I'm not careful. I'm not saying I wouldn't have done it, because lets face it. I'd rather know it now, than when I'm pregnant with a child that I might lose or give malnutrition because the doctor doesn't catch it. I may even POSSIBLY prefer it to being pregnant before hubby and I are ready for a child. But I still would have wanted to know.

Now, here's the link to those poor girls, and I hope you'll read a few. The short ones have just as much info as the long ones so you can skip around if you want.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Thyroid-Disorders/Thyroid-and-Implanon-side-effects/show/327750

Mark Lupo, M.D. wrote in response to some of these questions
Would consider Hashimoto's thryoiditis if there is a prominent thyroid with borderline low-normal thyroid function (ie TSH of 3 or greater).  It's unlikely the Implanon caused it but sometimes changes in hormone status can bring out underlying tendencies (genetic predisposition) to thyroid problems.
It's a viable answer, and if there were any proof to back his claims, I might be mollified. But he doesn't offer any. He just tells you what he wants you to believe. Sad day.

I'm pretty desperate to lose weight right now. I've steadily increased in weight since the new year. I've gained nearly twenty pounds and I don't feel very attractive. Of course, body issues help me to feel even less attractive than mere weight gain could normally do to me. I think the worst thing is that I CANT BUY ANY BOOKS because of the agreement I have with hubby. He's doing a very generous weight loss incentive. He'll buy me a book for every pound I lose and keep off. It's hardly working. I cannot stop eating sweets. Really. I tried. I have cried because I denied myself sweets. That's utterly fu***** ridiculous. No one should want sweets that badly. I can't even limit myself to one a day. I've tried.

Anyway. I'm losing my job at the end of the month. They are cancelling the contract to save money. So I've been looking for a new job. I'm thinking of trying a new direction and type of job. I'm bored with security work, and I don't like the shit pay. I'm also thinking of taking a break and getting my knee fixed while we have the money and I have the time. If I can fix my knee, my shoulder (which is generally aching all the time and I'm going to PT for), and my weight, I'll feel so much better about myself. I don't even have to fix the weight. If I can fix my knee, I can start jogging again. I seriously miss jogging. Which is funny because I'd barely learned to enjoy it before I messed up my leg. If I start jogging, that's an hour (yes, that was the average time I was out running) of activity that isn't me stuffing my face. That HAS to help me lose weight. So just getting my knee fixed is steadily growing in priority lately. I'm just very scared that it won't work, and we'll have spent all that money for nothing. It's a lot of money to throw away, you know? I've also never really had surgery before (that I remember) except for that root canal. I'm sure you can remember my horrible experience (think constant crying and dependency on husband. Wow. I'm crying just thinking of it. See what my body is doing to me lately???), so I'm understandably not excited at the idea.

Now for less depressing topics. We saw Oblivion today. It was pretty good. Not as predictable as you would expect. Reb said that it borrows from a lot of movies, but even so, I think it probably does it better than the others because the movie flow was pretty great except for a few plot knots. I won't go into them because I don't want to spoil the movie.

My cat is wrapping us around her paw so tight, I don't expect either of us to get free. When hubby was checking his pictures today (his phone said he'd used too much memory) he discovered most of the pictures were of our cat. And he still protests that he doesn't even like her. He's told me (excited) about when she lets him touch her belly. And now she's started giving him the gentle warning bites she gives me when she's had enough. Essentially she bites down gently and holds. I don't let her do that to me unless I've done something bad to her (like maybe when we're trying to cut her claws). But she used to do it all the time. She still lets me torture her (i.e. picking her up, laying her on her belly, using her as a pillow, using her as a belly warmer, massaging her whole body, etc.) in ways I can't even imagine Reb succeeding at.

We've been watching Lie To Me together. I think it started out as a scientifically fascinating show, and progressed to a Drama + some science. That's okay though, I like character development.... *shrug* I like the show, generally. I'm excited to see what the next episode will be like, you know?

I think I'm finally getting tired enough to sleep. Tomorrow I want to go through my clothes and get rid of a lot of clothes that I don't wear, or that don't suit me anymore. I'm gonna try and get Reb to do the same. We've collecting a LOT of stuff and it's all my fault. So I'm trying to kick this pack rat mentality. The funniest thing is that he has more clothes than I do. Some music to finish up:

I really like this song. I think its well-rounded.


I think Reb likes this one. I'll admit the video is fascinating after the first forty seconds or so.

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