Sunday, March 9, 2014

Sleep-sleep-sleep-sleep

Sleeptidy-sleeeeeep-sleep-sleeeeeeep! There's a tune to that, though I rather doubt that you'll hear it the way I do.

Heh. Hubby's obligatory blog post is cute and frustrated at the same time, just like he often makes me. :P Rozy gave us a good site for changing around his resume and cover letters to be more appropriate for what he's applying for. If you need the link, let her or me know. I've saved it for a rainy day.

I would like to go ahead and answer this worry of hubby's: I'm fine with working at massage here in Texas until he can find work. I'm just worried that my income will either not be high enough to keep us in comfort (when you are hired by someone else, you only make about $17-25 an hour, and you can only reasonably work up to 25 hours a week if you don't want to burn out) or that I'll sign a contract for 1 yr plus and then some awesome company comes calling for him and we'll have to separate for a while or break contracts. That's a full 10,000 less dollars a year than we're currently living on. If I were to be self-employed/outcalls/incalls, my income would be much higher, but I would also have to market myself a looooot more (and we all know I market myself about as well as a cow milks her own udders). And while I know I would choose breaking a contract over being away from Hubby, it would really tear my self-respect and confidence apart.

Massage school is still going well. I'm working in the clinic more and more, and I'm a little ashamed to say that I constantly hope my client doesn't show up. It's not that I don't enjoy what I do: I've just been so unbelievably, hopelessly, irrevocably TIRED lately that my energy feels like the moon's own light (i.e. non-existent). It's entirely possible that I've developed Hashimotos Disease (which most hypothyroid people have), but damn it, I don't want another label on me. Let's put it this way: When I wake up hungry? I roll over and go back to sleep. I'd rather sleep than eat nowadays. And food is still delicious! And my dreams are so freakin' vivid, I would almost swear they depict real things happening. I'm even dreaming in color consistently. Most people dream in black and white. Half the time they're debauched, disgusting dreams that I don't want to recall ever again, and I would STILL choose more sleep over food.

My clients are all REALLY interesting! Once I get my hands on someone, I generally forget I'm tired until I start swaying (which I've been doing with dismaying frequency) and explore their body with delight. It sounds vulgar, but it's a magical experience. Part of our paperwork is supposed to reflect what we got out the session, and I always write about my client's body (If I haven't written 'Ooh! Rare body type!' (and I actually have at least once), it's only because I know they can demand to see their paperwork and might take offense), or what I want to do for them next time, or how I feel inadequate to the task because they need so much help and I only had one hour to 'fix' as much as I could. I got told that was wrong and I need to write about my own reflections and epiphanies during the massage, but for me, those ARE my reflections.

I guess one bonus of being so tired is that I don't have the energy to get mad at hubby over stupid things most of the time. I really hope once I'm off of this birth control that my body will return (at least somewhat) to the wonderful obedient body I had before.

I joined a Health Club on FB, and I really love it. It fills my feed with people's struggles and triumphs, and I love how when someone posts about a problem everyone jumps to help solve it. They've even arranged some work out buddies via the club. We do Challenges and work-out-selfies (I don't do those, because I just don't do pictures). It gives me great ideas. :)

Phew. Now it's 10 p.m. and I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna see if I can coerce Hubby into sleeping early.

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

Most people dream in black and white?!

I hope everything gets less tiresome when you think it will!