Our darling little princess has outdone herself again.

First, a cute, and oddly accurate list of things twenty-somethings need for Christmas: http://www.literallydarling.com/blog/2014/12/09/what-twenty-somethings-actually-want-for-the-holidays/

And now, on to the show. Today was our princess's birthday. I really wanted it to be nice, because I realize it's her first birthday completely cut off from Nana and the rest of the family. Even in foster care, we all did what we could to get her gifts, call, and see her on her birthday. This year, she got the phone calls, but of course the only ones she got to see was us.
It went very well at first. She was excited about her gifts, and the money she got in all the cards ($42 total-And she'll need it. She doesn't get an allowance until April 6th), but at the end of opening them all, her first question was "That's it? Where's the rest of the presents?" Now, I understand she was asking about the gifts that Nana and co. bought for her, but they haven't mailed those yet, and I can't make them apparate here. But still, she got well over 5 gifts, and subtly criticized EACH one.
I spent a good amount of time looking over each gift, agonizing over prices and finding what would suit her the best. I shopped for hours, and constantly thought of how to make her day better, all to hear her say 'Oh, that's not what I wanted.' or 'Oh, is that all it does?'
On the plus side, I rather expected that. So while it annoyed me, it did not really hurt me. What hurt me was at the end of the meal, when she was admittedly tired and obviously ready for bed, she made the comment "I never have good birthdays anyway. They always suck." I'm paraphrasing here. The gist however, was that. That made me angry. Because EVERYONE in our family has called me, multiple fucking times today and this week, all scrambling to make sure MJ knows we care and love her and miss her and are proud of her. Now if you know me at all, you know I have a crippling dislike of the phone. Add in that I sleep during the most 'popular time' for them to call, and you get a sleep-deprived, annoyed, yet understanding Runa that just got told everyone's efforts were worth shit. My 'give-a-fuck-meter' broke.
I told her that she was responsible for carrying out all of her gifts (which is fair, because I and Hubby were able to carry them individually with no problem, they weren't heavy or even to bulky if she took any care with arranging them, which of course she didn't), and if she left anything, she would lose it.
In the car, I reiterated that gifts are a responsibility, and if we feel she's not ready for it, we will take away the gifts until she is. Some of you may feel it is wrong to take a gift from a child. I feel it's wrong to let a child abuse their privileges. Gifts are just that, gifts, not rights. She said she understood, and her behavior improved while in the car, and then rapidly degenerated when we got home. She ignored my directions multiple times, and eventually I decided to wash my hands of it. Hubby put her to bed and took care of giving her the nightly bedtime rituals.

Believe me, I understand that with children, a strong high (joyful emotions) is inevitably followed by a crash (crying/negative emotions), especially when they get tired. I'm not actually angry. But I am also intolerant of lack of gratitude and lack of being aware of what she's been given. She received money from three families, all of whom are currently struggling financially to make ends meet, and not only did they give her money, they gave her gifts and love. Our child will NOT be raised unaware of the willing sacrifice people make in hopes of pleasing her, and she WILL understand that spitting on people's feelings is wrong. It doesn't matter how bad she feels, she won't be deriding her loved one's attempts to make her happy for long. We'll be having discussions about this and her attitude for the next two weeks, and hopefully we'll see an improvement at Christmas. Goodness knows she needs one.

Well. I LOVE this song because of the beat and the imagery, but this video is, frankly, disturbing. It's like Carry meets Scream meets Mr. Stalker. .....Doesn't mean I dislike it, but I wouldn't let MJ see it. Its a little scary how well Adam Levine does creepy.


Goodnight!