With that said, you may not want to read. There will be a lot of insults and criticisms, and frankly, right now I'm not sure I'll post this, but I probably will, if only to get everyone's perspective.
Our little niece has pushed me yet again. There's days when I don't even like her. If she weren't so young, I would be very tempted to tell her flat out: "Look, you're a whiny, snot-nosed, stupid ass bitch with nothing going for you but your tiny tits, and at this rate, all you're going to be good for in life is being a man's plaything. Hopefully only one man, but with your slutty ass behaviour, you're likely going to be a slut of massive proportions with tons of little kids who won't know their father either, and that won't deserve to have you as a mom because you'll be as shitty at that as you are at being a good girl and keeping your legs closed."
Yes, I realize that is incredibly harsh. Yes, I realize as a mom, I should never think something like that about my child. But she's seriously pissing me off. It's not even just one thing she's done. It's a lot of things, and I really am beginning to doubt that underneath it all she's still the sweetheart that I adored. I've been holding onto that idea so hard, for so long to help me through her ridiculous shit-headed nonsense, and I'm slowly losing hope.
She's obnoxious, bratty, smug and bitchy. She whines more than any other child I have EVER dealt with on a daily basis (and considering my sisters and their progeny, that is SERIOUSLY saying something). She would whine that her butt itched and act like we need to do something to fix it. It's your own damn butt, scratch it yourself bitch. She told me 'no' today, and when I told Hubby that I'd changed my mind, and he should take her, so I don't try to strangle the entitled asswipe of a child, she had the gall to smirk at me. She also threw her pen at me, and when I threw it back and told her to hand it to me properly, she refused.
Now, I know my parenting skills need work, but here's my thoughts on it: If a child bites you, you are bigger, and stronger, so you bite back, but harder so they understand that not only does their action hurt, but that the adult can hurt them worse, so they shouldn't do something they don't want done to them. If they apply that knowledge to all their interactions, they will learn to not strike others because they will get struck back (as they deserve), not to pick on others because they will be picked on as well, and not to fight those that are bigger/smarter/more than they are because they can easily get their ass handed to them. It's how the world works, and I want all my children to understand that so they don't bite off more than they can chew and end up in the hospital because they decided they're some big shit when they're actually small-fry.
It's not that I want my kids to be small fry, but if they are, damn it they better know it and live within their means. I'm not going to have a prematurely dead child on my hands because I flattered them into thinking they were amazing when they were merely competent.
Now maybe it's because she's not our progeny, but every time she opens her mouth I want to slam my head and ask the gods who gave her such an inflated opinion of herself. She's pretty, not beautiful. She's nice, but not really. She's only nice to get people to like her. She's always been a bully, and if the bitch tries to bully me, I'm going to beat her like a drum and leave her sobbing in the dust. I have no sympathy for ass-munching dumbasses like her. I'm bigger, smarter, and stronger. That should really tell her something. Instead, she's been steadily trying to assert that she's entitled to things. Well she's not. I'll be proving that to her day after day after day.
The worst part though? I DON'T WANT TO. I want to coddle her and love her and cuddle her and support her. But due to her behavior and her unbelievable attitude, I actually cannot do it without enabling behaviours that can and will get her killed in the long run. I see helicopter parents and want to shoot them. Their kids are going to be self-important entitled assholes that I don't want to leave the earth to. I know, I KNOW that children need love and safety and support. I try SO HARD to give it to her, but she doesn't care. She's quite happy to take every bit of advantage of every inch we give until we can't give inches anymore because she's overstepped so far that she's past bearing.
There's times I think I hate her. I want to slap her and bend her over my knee and scream at her. She's not a horrible child, but by no means is she a good one. I'm beginning to agree with Hubby that I don't want our own children around her. But we've agreed to take her in, take care of her, raise her, and support her. We will. We have to.
She just makes it so hard.
1 comment:
.....I don't know Jme. Sometimes I agree with what you do, and other times I just don't know. If it were me, I wouldn't have thrown the pen back at her. Or at least not hit her with it, since she did not hit you with it. I think what I would have done (if I had been thinking calmly about it, which would have been hard to do) would have been to ask her if she felt that was an appropriate way to hand back the pen to me when I was clearly holding my hand open. And then gone from there to explain that no, it wasn't, and that she should try again until she gets it right because she knows better and it was disrespectful.
Sometimes I think you escalate the situation so Mia sees it as a challenge and then you both push each other's limits more until Mia accepts defeat. But I do agree with you that she should learn not to do things she wouldn't want done to her, I'm just not sure if that was the way to go about it.
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