This month sucks balls. Hard.

So everyone knows by now that my grandma passed on early in March. Then, I was unable to get a full week off during my birthday (it'll be this monday) because we're understaffed.

This however, this tops the cake. I just got off the phone with my family. My sister has been missing since Monday. Kris saw her Sunday when she came in to Kris's job asking for some food (which of course Kris bought her). Then she left with some unknown guy, and the next day or Tuesday (no one's very clear) texts were sent out from her phone from someone saying 'I killed the bitch. You may find her body someday, but you ain't never gonna find me. Bitch never knew how to keep her mouth shut.' Or something to that effect. The police are searching for her right now, and they've added another detective to the case. Her facebook was taken down by somebody. No idea who. I wasn't told until just now that my sister, the mother of my child, is missing. And likely dead, if that message is true.

There's really two options here: Either it's true, and I just lost my sister. MJ just lost her mom. And we don't even know who or why they did it.

Or.

Cin typed that out herself for some reason. Possible reasons for this could be: trying to throw off the law (she's wanted in two counties right now), or trying to see if we care. Either way, if she's faking it, I will personally beat her bloody, and then cry myself to sleep in relief. I'm so scared, I have no idea what to tell MJ (not that I'm telling her shit before we have more information than some fucked up texts from some nobody), and I am SO CONFLICTED.

On the one hand, I hope to god (who I don't even believe in, I'm so stressed) she IS faking it. Because at least I have my sister still in this world, and MJ won't lose her mind. And yeah, there's lots of possible reasons she may have thought this was a good idea for her to try.

But on the other hand, she's been in some deep ass shit for a while now, crazy on drugs, and she really hasn't ever been able to keep her mouth shut. If anything would drive someone to killing her, that would totally be the number one reason. And I just can't imagine my sister gone.

A large part of me doesn't believe this, for a very simple yet fucked up reason: I dreamt about this on Tuesday. I woke up pissed as hell (as hubby can attest) and essentially went the whole day feeling angry. Of course I dismissed that dream, and if it really happened (and what happened in it was very.... anger inducing. Highlights: Car, violence, little house/shack in some woods, really gross floor and two guys) I may not fully recover.

A very small, detestable part of me wonders if we'd be able to adopt MJ if it were true. If that might help, or if that might make it worse for her.

A medium part of me wants to become hysterical and run off to NC to look for her, never mind that I haven't any idea where she might be, or who she might be in contact with.

No one knows what's going on. We're all freaking out, and yet we're all also unsure if this is a valid threat. I'm so worried my heartburn started up again, even after taking my medicine.

....this is mostly so all of you know what's going on, but if any of you happen to want to keep an eye out for her, please let me know and I'll send you a pic. Thanks,