And I think it's because I'm worried that it'll be taken away if I talk about it. I'm not sure where the idea came from, or why I seem to be holding tight to information about myself, but it's become a bit of a worrisome thing. I don't mean to. So lets see if I can expound on some things that are relatively 'new'.
1. I'm sort of anxious because I've always thought I would die before I hit 26. So in my mind, I'm a little bit 'I have less than a month left' and I'm getting jittery about it. I don't know why I'm so convinced, I just know I am.
2. Recently Hubbikins applied to two massage jobs for me. I had phone interviews with both places, and a practical at one. The one I had the practical at, offered me the job as soon as I finished up the massage and was cleaning up. It was quite flattering. I was caught off guard and said yes. You see, I did want to get back into doing massage, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do much of it yet. It's really hard on my body. So when they offered, I HAD to say yes, or they may never give me a job later, and it's a place I would enjoy working at in future. I'll be honest. I felt a little resentful towards Hubby because I wasn't planning to start back at massage, and I felt forced into it. I know he was only trying to help, but this is going to be a hell of way to jump back into it.
3. I went in for training today on my new massage job. It was interesting. I like the place, I like the benefits, I'm leery about the pay. My estimates are roughly showing that without tips to supplement my massage, I'll be paid something between $16-24 based on the type of client, and the type of massage, etc. That's really low for me, and I'm not sure I'll be willing to stay for that amount. I'll give it a couple months though. The people have been very nice so far, so I'm hopeful.
4. I'll be working there Mon/Wed from 6pm to 9pm, so I *might* make it home to tuck MJ into bed at night those days. I'll also be working a weekend day, but while she wants me to work this Sunday, she said she wasn't sure if she would keep me on Sundays.
5. We're doing our taxes on the 19th, and then driving to my Mom's place for Chay's birthday. I already asked for that weekend off at both work places, so that's good.
6. I'm hoping to have a barbecue at my parent's place the weekend after that (Easter weekend) to celebrate my birthday. I asked Hubbikins to talk to my parents about it, but he didn't do that yet. When I just got off the phone with my mom, I asked her about it, and she said she'd be fine with hosting my birthday 'party' but that Hubby hasn't mentioned anything to her. I'm unhappy that I had to mention it. I feel egotistical and dirty for arranging my own birthday barbecue, but it doesn't look like it'll get arranged if I don't do it so I'm sucking it up. I want to enjoy my birthday.
7. I've recently realized that if I only wore what I wanted to at home, I'd dress like a slut all the time. Tube tops, slinky dresses, fishnet stockings, flowy dresses and high heels amuse me and make me feel rather free. Not free like sensual, just free to be me. I try to keep those clothing choices to a minimum though because I feel like it could set a bad precedent for MJ. I'm not doing it to dress sexy, I just like how they don't feel restrictive.
8. I tried to arrange to go to the doctor, but it didn't work out. I needed an insurance card, and we won't have that for another week or two, and I'm working every day for the next two weeks after today. It sucks. I'm not as nauseous as I have been for the last few weeks (I think I accidentally poisoned myself), but I still feel like I'm a little sick, and I need a check-up. I haven't had one since before we moved in July.
9. I've been thinking about moving to a new location. Mainly because I still want a house, and I want Hubby to be able to get to work with or without a car without any issues. Right now I've been driving him to a bus stop and he takes two buses to get to work but it takes him about an hour to get to work every day. I don't mind driving, but if I drive him straight to work, I inevitably hit two or three traffic jams on my way to work, which is in the opposite direction. Basically, my job is fifteen minutes east, and his is about fifteen to twenty minutes west. It makes for a lot of driving.
10. I'm getting desperate to read something good. I've tried to satisfy myself with fanfiction, and some of it is satisfying enough that it settles my urge a little, but.... I need more. I have books to read, but I have a nasty habit of not being able to sleep if I haven't finished the book, and I don't have enough time to sit around reading a book or more in one day.
11. I put Hubby in charge of teaching MJ to make mexican food yesterday. I've told him how frustrating it is, and he's kind of been ....less than supportive about the difficulty of it. Guess what his ass did? He ended up making it himself! I was like 'You just entirely defeated the purpose of the exercise, and you let her win by letting her think that if she whines enough, she'll get out of cooking!' I'm so frustrated by that. Next week is going to be hellish because of his decision to do it himself. He said she couldn't do it, but I've had her make the meat before, I've had her make rice before, and the beans just needed to be heated up, and I started that for her! She knew how to make ALL OF IT. I've ALREADY TAUGHT HER. She basically PLAYED him, and he made it out like 'Well that's too hard for her.' Uh, no. She knows how. She just didn't want to because she didn't get to choose what she was making.
12. I basically decided that if she doesn't tell me what she's making by Sunday, I'll be choosing her meal to make. I've been wanting spicy food, so I went for mexican this time. She's been pretty set on making frozen food for her dinners lately, and to me, that's not really cooking. That's grab and ping (Ping being the microwave timer going off saying when to take something out). Don't get me wrong, Grab and Ping has it's uses and there's times that it is MUCH better to go for ready made. I actually prefer ready made mashed potatoes to real mashed potatoes because of the heat, the steam, the danger, and truthfully, instant tastes a little better.
13. My mom just got off her liver medicine on Sunday. She's doing really well. Something about her Hepatitus being cured or put into stasis or something. She doles out the information piecemeal so I don't understand it all. I'm just glad she's done with it. She's gonna have foot surgery next month, she says. Then after that, she may have hip surgery. I'm not sure. She wants to get 'fixed' so she can do more. It's her choice, I just wish Papa took better care of her when she's sick/healing.
I'm sure there's other stuff I haven't shared, but I can't think of much. I hope this gave you all a little insight into what's been going on lately. Thanks for reading!
I like this song:
2 comments:
1. You're not allowed to die. I plan on keeping you around for a long time!
2. Like I said before, I was not trying to force you into doing anything. Throughout the process, I asked you if it was okay to look for jobs and then I sent them to you to approve for applying to them. To be honest, I didn't expect you to get a job that quickly....not because you aren't skilled but just because the job market is rough. I was mainly looking for what you told me you wanted - a job that could ease you into massage. I also thought it wouldn't hurt to have a backup in case CPR didn't work out for whatever reason. It's part of the reason I still work at Mathnasium, just so I can keep my foot in the door if for some reason this research job of mine doesn't work out. Anyway, I'm sorry if it felt like I forced you to do it, but I only had good intentions and I was only trying to help since I know you hate applying to places.
6. I'm sorry you felt like it wasn't going to happen. I did intend on calling them, and to be fair I still have 3 weeks before it is actually your birthday.
8. You can still arrange to have a doctor's visit at the place Mia goes. But I will try calling the insurance people tomorrow. I tried calling them today but they put me on hold for too long before I had to move on to the next step of my experiment.
9. I think that....while it might be nice to move closer to my job, I think its also a pain to move. Still, I am open to the idea if we can find a place that is relatively in the same price range, good neighborhood, etc.
11. Its a bit of an exaggeration to say that I made it all myself. I made the rice because she had poured all the ingredients into a hot pan, they were just sitting there, and she was afraid to stir it because there was a hot pan in front of the one she needed to stir. I didn't really want burnt rice, and I wanted to eat at a decent hour, so yeah, I took over the rice. She made the meat herself. She made the beans herself too. So yeah, if I had to do it over again, I would have had her cook the back burner stuff first, and then heat stuff up in the front burner. The reason I said she wasn't ready was because she is still immature and scared of hot things. Her knowing how to make rice doesn't cancel this fact out.
12. I think cooking frozen food is fine for just starting out like she is. She's come a long way in not being as afraid of the oven as she was before.
1. <3 Be safe on your trip this weekend (today?)!
5. We're doing ours this weekend, too!
7. The barbecue sounds like a lot of fun. :)
8. I hope you feel better soon!
11 - 12. It's pretty cool that you guys have taught her so much about cooking already.
Post a Comment