Yes, I know 'Is In The' is technically wrong, but it always bothers me when we decide oh, these words aren't as important, lets not capitalize them even though all the others are.
Anyway, so as a result of the assessment MJ had a few weeks ago, we are all facing Family Therapy for the next six months (is the expected time length, but I'm fairly sure it'll be longer, as we all have issues, and MJ takes the cake on them all). They do not do Individual Therapy and Family Therapy at the same time, (insurance policy) so we're looking to have more focus on MJ, though it's already been stated that she'll want to work alone with each of us to assess our needs and work through them.
I think we really relieved her when she was talking about parenting help and counselling and we both started nodding immediately. She's used to more closed minded families that don't think they do anything wrong. We know we need help, but my family says to beat her, and Hubby's family says ....well, not much, as they don't have experience with these issues. Neither is really much help in parenting a child that is so desperate for attention, and so pig-headed at the same time.
We saw 'On the Edge of Seventeen' a few weeks ago. I liked that the protagonist was a legit normal stupid bitch, as we don't often have that happen in movies. I didn't like her, I wouldn't be her friend, but I also really appreciated the honesty of the movie and how life can work. The ending was a little unrealistic, but it was still really good, and Hubby and I both really want MJ to see the movie, because the protagonist reminded us both of her, but it's rated R. It's not that out there, really, but it does have some ....uh, overly honest sentiments of a sexual nature.
Speaking of, MJ wrote a suicide note on Monday, and 'tried' to commit suicide. What she really did was scratch up our walls, the counters we prepare food on, and scratch her arms twice. As a result, she has to write two pages back and front of two people she's grateful for and has to be able to call them and tell them about it. Bint wanted to write them to celebrities because 'she doesn't feel grateful to anyone that isn't an idol.'
We asked the therapist we'll be seeing (she'll come to our house twice a week starting in the new year, but for now she'll just check in as she's booked, and going on vacation) about 'how do we punish this??' in regards to her scratching up the walls and herself, and she kinda redirected the conversation in an uncomfortable, I don't know how to answer that, kind of way. I don't really blame her, as the follow up question was relevant, but not helpful for us.
Hubbity didn't say much of anything during the entire interview, besides requesting that MJ get a psych assessment to get some medicinal help in controlling her moods. Not to the extent that she came to us in, but enough to prevent the lows from threatening her life.
Today Hubby had lunch with his parents. I was supposed to go as well, but when he didn't give me a breakdown of the 'where and when' like I asked for, I lost patience and decided to stay in bed. I didn't want to go if there was going to be Mexican food, as my stomach was a little iffy, but since Hubby couldn't tell me what he'd decided on for sure, I got too frustrated to bother asking the same thing for a third time.
As a result, when he came home from work tonight, we had a fight and ended up not speaking for most of the evening. We've kind of just pretended it didn't happen at this point.
I went to work, worked on one client, met another new therapist (They just hired four), chatted, had a no show, and got to go home in time to tuck the princess into bed (though that's Hubby's job, cause I don't do it right). I consoled her when she 'sprained' her wrist getting into bed.
There's been an outbreak of chicken pox at her school, and we don't know if she's had chicken pox already. I vaguely recall having to soothe her when she was little and had some rashes but don't remember if it was chicken pox, so we're waiting for my sister to call so I can ask her. She didn't get it during her time in foster care, which is the only medical records she came with.
Tomorrow I have tutoring for a Japanese woman, then I'm going to get adjusted and a massage because I haven't had one in five weeks due to getting sick 4 times in that period, and having a cold sore the other week.
I cleaned up the area around my bedside because I was sick of tripping over things. I was still angry with Hubby while I was cleaning, and I don't like to having people around when I'm cleaning anyway (Growing up, if someone was around, they'd either make a smart ass comment or purposely mess it up for me, so I just dislike it now), so I asked him to leave.
I managed to go through my clothes and get the summer/spring ones packed away, and pull out winter clothes. I have a lot of dresses I love. I didn't realize quite how many I had until I was unpacking them all. The closet looks so much better now.
I bought a selection of wines from brightcellars that is supposed to mathematically match you with the perfect wine for your tastes. It tastes pretty gross unfortunately, and the first sip always numbs my tongue. Does anyone else have that happen? It's always done that to me, actually. I just don't know anyone else it happens to.
Here's a song I like, though I'm a little confused by all the sex talk considering it's Bruno Mars and I feel like he's becoming jaded.
2 comments:
I think the family therapy is a good thing. We do the best we can, but I don't think we are equipped enough to effectively parent Mia sometimes, particularly when she is being really difficult, which I think is when effective parenting might be most important. A second opinion from someone who may have dealt with similar children before would be helpful.
I think Mia should see Edge of Seventeen at some point. It is really applicable to her. And it doesn't really deserve the R rating. Yes the text message she accidentally sent is overly explicit, but I also think the movie did a good job of showing the consequences and fallout from doing something like that. I'd rather her learn from watching it happen than have her learn firsthand (because you know this is the kind of thing she might do in the future, if she ever gets responsible enough to have a phone).
I think she's hoping you won't notice that she didn't do the assignment you asked her to do. I asked her that night if she asked the teacher about the face project, and asked her to do it today when she said no.
I'm not really sure how you are coming up with asking "two" times. The only time I saw was the text on my phone, so if the previous time was on fb, I don't think its fair to count that against me since I didn't even see it until after the fact. And for that text, you mentioned feeling nauseas in the same breath, so I was asking if you wanted to even eat anything at all or stay home. I didn't know you were up for 30 minutes already and getting ready. As far as I knew, you had just gotten up and were texting me about possibly not going, which you have done before. I mentioned to you the day before by text that it would be between 11 or 11:30, but then later that day I had told you that I had talked to my dad and he had agreed to 11:30. So the time was already set as far as I was concerned. They ended up getting here earlier than that, but I was going to keep it at 11:30 because that is the time I told you it would be and they were fine with that. As far as the location goes, I told you it would probably be firehouse unless you had somewhere else in mind. At no time did I ever suggest anywhere else, and I think it would be reasonable to assume that I would have told you the moment the place changed if it ever did. I'm sorry if, from your perspective, I didn't give you the answer two times. But I think you should also recognize that from my perspective, it was only one time (even though in my mind it was pretty much set unless I told you something changed), and that was only because I was thinking you didn't even want to go and I was concerned for your well being. I'm willing to let this argument go, because quite frankly even if I am right about this, it isn't that important to me and I'm sorry that I hurt you and I don't want something stupid like this to come between us. I'm willing to chalk it up to just a bad communication day for me.
All that being said, I think its kind of funny how alike we think even when we are mad at each other. I was totally thinking about moving back to the living room/somewhere else right before you asked me to.
Merry Christmas again. :) I'm glad to hear about the therapy and how your child is doing!
Hans't happened to me!
Bruno Mars has some cute songs but yeah, I agree his stuff can be too sexual in a bad way. In this song he is smiling like a little boy but talking about bad bitches. :/
Post a Comment