My subconscious

is a scary thing. I mean, seriously scary.

I read years ago a description of Aries, and remember thinking "Oh, it matches me pretty well. It'd be great if it matched me perfectly." ....Reading it yesterday, it matched perfectly.
I think to myself, I should improve my skin. Weeks later, blemish-free skin.
It's not always a good thing.
If I think to myself, "I'm going to mess this up." I usually do.
If I stress too much, I literally make myself sick with worry. 
I think I'm not capable of living entirely without help, and now I'm not. I used to be. Now I need opinions and help getting up, and just little things. *sigh*

You're prolly sitting there thinking I'm overreacting or that it's a coincidence, but I'm fairly certain it's not. Even my body's shape, abilities, and limits are determined nearly entirely by my subconscious. I have never truly wanted to be a skinny girl. And I haven't been since I realized I don't like feeling my bones. Medium-size is fine, since this size makes exercise hard for me.
But essentially, I have to be careful what I find myself thinking, because it will become true if it's in regards to myself. That's not only scary, it's amazing.

My body has been shaping up. That's good. My language skills have been improving. That's great. I found myself thinking I might not remember all the english I've learned up til now a few weeks ago. Writing this report tonight, I found myself thinking of all the japanese words, but not any of the English. I could probably write a good half of this report in Japanese with no problem, but I sit here trying to remember the english equivalent for a good twenty minutes. That's kinda messed up.

So essentially, I scare myself. That's kinda normal for me, right?