One Sappy Post.....Darnit

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Sometimes I look at my hands with the fingers spread and I ache for your fingers to be in between them.

Sometimes I see a cute picture of a couple kissing on the cheek and my lips tingle to kiss your (always) stubbly cheek

I look at post cards or Christmas cards and turn to comment on them to you and realize you're not here and there's no way to share that moment with you. It really makes me sad then.

I read articles on the internet and want to laugh at them with you, but realize you're sleeping due to the time difference, and by the time you wake up, I won't find them funny anymore. I bookmark them anyway.

I eat something that I find delicious, and my lips curl all by themselves because I'm thinking of the disgusted face you'd make if you were here.

I sometimes look at my underclothes and find myself smirking because there's no way you can see them, and that amuses me. No embarrassment or nervousness = Score.....but then I want to show you something cute I just bought....And I'm back to frowning.

I watch a comedy show and want to share the joke with you. It's only when I'm fumbling to translate it for you that I realize it loses its humor....and I didn't want that.

You tell me you want hugs and kisses, but that just perplexes me because I don't want them. I need them, and I know you're saving them up for me for when I get home, so I'm just looking forward to my homecoming. I know you won't disappoint me.

I still haven't sent the gift to you because it's a couple set, and I'm unusually scared to separate the couple, but giving you both feels wrong.


I looked back at posts from years ago, and feel like it's laughable that we tried to pretend we weren't a couple.

Damnit....I'm going to go cry in the shower now. I may take this damn thing down in the future. It's incredibly embarrassing. .....*sigh* But I still love you.