OR so I can say in as little as six months from now. Instead I will have two screws in my femur and shin bones that I will forever be notifying flying officials of.
So, the surgery: They took me back, away from hubbikins, so I could get stripped, cleaned, blood pressure cuffed, heart rate monitored, and IVed.
....Now the IV: I have a certain abhorrence of having it put in my hand, so my nice nurse tried her best, but after two failed attempts to get it in my left arm and right arm, they put it in my right hand. Apparently the flaps in my veins were deceiving, so I have two small holes and bruises in my arms, and one little hole in my right hand that isn't particularly painful or bruised. I guess I should have just let her do it where she thought best from the start.
When they were trying to find a good vein, the other nurse kept holding my hand and saying things like: "You have such beautiful veins in your hand... They're so perfect and you can see them so clearly..." at which point I felt as though I were listening to vampires as they chattered over my veins and arteries.
The third time was the charm, but it also hurt more and I ended up crying. The nurse felt bad for making me cry, but I couldn't really stop. I don't like needles, I especially don't like them in my hands, and I was steadily getting more uncomfortable.
When they brought hubbikins back, I thought that would cheer me up. I didn't count on his innate ability to make me cry every time he touches me and I'm not feeling particularly happy to begin with. Eventually I managed to stop, all the doctors that would be working on me dropped by, and I remember them saying they were giving me some drugs to relax me. I remember talking to Reb a bit more, but the next thing I know is that I'm in recovery gasping because I'm sure I'm about to be sick and the nurse hurriedly giving me anti-nausea meds. I dropped back off.
The next time I woke up, I saw the nurse again, talked something to her, looked around, and saw hubbikins sitting there. He leaned forward and I know we talked or something, but I don't remember what about. I dropped back off. Woke back up, dropped off. Reb says it was mostly him and the nurse talking, and me listening or not listening. Mostly not listening.
On the way home, I made Rebbikins stop and pick up macaroons for me. They're really tiny little cake things that are delicious and so cute! They have a lot of flavors, but since I was too drained to get out of the car, hubby ran back and forth telling me then flavors, then that they COULD do a variety pack (THANK YOU!!!!) so I had to pick what I wanted. Then they didn't actually have all of them, so I rearranged my choices and how many I wanted of each. Then hubby came back, and we went home.
Now, the nurse was so adamant that I needed the block, she scheduled it for me, DESPITE my wishes. When they called yesterday to confirm, it was a different woman and she told me I was scheduled for it. I firmly, (and a little angrily) said that I had told EVERYONE I did not want the block, and I would not be getting it. She calmed me down and wrote on my thing "Absolutely no block. Patient said no." I was pissed they ignored my wishes like that, but amused that the lady was so easy to understand and change it for me. When the nurses were trying to get an IV set up, one of them mentioned if I was getting the block and the other popped her head back in. "Don't mention that word! She said no, and that word is taboo." I was also crying from the IV so the nurses kinda made it into a funny thing for me.
I don't know that you guys would know what a block is, so here's a brief explanation: They dig a needle around in your groin to find the set of muscles they're trying to block, and when they find it, they block it off for an average of 24 hours. That means 24 hours of no feeling in my leg, and me with stairs to get up and places to navigate. Hell no.
So anyway, we went home, and the reason I mentioned that nurse was because she was so convinced I would get the block, she only explained how to navigate stairs WITH it. Turns out I can just hold on to the rails and pull myself along. The pain was bad, but not nearly as bad as when I ripped it, and all the subsequent times I re-injured it. The last nurse of the day was the most helpful. She said "Good one up, bad one down." Meaning when going up, use my good leg first, and vise versa for going down.
Pain meds: Warp my mind. I can't really stay awake, I can't remember what happened during, and I can't feel much of anything. It's interesting. Yesterday I needed to take them the whole day, but now I can just take them when I think I need it. I also start my thyroid medicine today, so I may never be able to go without that again. *sigh*
So, to conclude: I am fine, the pain isn't nearly what I thought it would be, and pain medicine is fun when I want a nap, but not when I want to talk to someone or read something. Also, hubby is amazing because he had to take complete care of me yesterday. What's weird is that he said he hadn't thought he would need to be so involved, and I thought he would need to be more involved than what I ended up needing. Opposites to the bitter end, eh?
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Free your breasts
There's been some movements going on to get equal upper body freedom regardless of gender. Personally, I think it's a fine idea. I'm not at all sure I would personally bare myself, but I would definitely support it. This would save women from the bullshit accusations and charges of indecency for feeding their babies in public. I may very well one day need to feed my child and not have a bottle (I would be the first one in my family to breastfeed in years, but....), and it would be quite a relief to be able to do so.
http://www.policymic.com/articles/42359/topless-women-in-public-not-breaking-the-law-says-nypd
I think it's very interesting that while women looked merely bemused, the guys seemed to alternate between "Is this Christmas?!" elation and vague disgust (because they're culturized to believe it's vulgar). There's the occasional ones that I personally think of as Alecky that also look bemused like the females, but in general the ones that are stooped down taking as many pictures as they can are males.
I'm honest enough to admit I'd likely be covering myself because baring myself is nothing like making a breast mold that you then paint to look realistic (I'm one of the few that did that). ...I still don't remember what happened to that breast mold.
Kitties!!
http://www.policymic.com/articles/42359/topless-women-in-public-not-breaking-the-law-says-nypd
I think it's very interesting that while women looked merely bemused, the guys seemed to alternate between "Is this Christmas?!" elation and vague disgust (because they're culturized to believe it's vulgar). There's the occasional ones that I personally think of as Alecky that also look bemused like the females, but in general the ones that are stooped down taking as many pictures as they can are males.
I'm honest enough to admit I'd likely be covering myself because baring myself is nothing like making a breast mold that you then paint to look realistic (I'm one of the few that did that). ...I still don't remember what happened to that breast mold.
Kitties!!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Uhuhhuhuhuhu.
That's how I was laughing. At this blog! http://fatwomanfit.blogspot.com/2013/03/fat-woman-and-knotty-problem.html
This Lady is earnest, witty, and well-written. Her humor apparently also matches mine, because I find myself laughing out loud at her witticisms. I wanna follow this lady!
Hmmm.. Since hubby wrote about his adventures to get my anniversary gift (which I loved and have already started using), I feel that I should do the same. I shopped around with the idea of getting a camcorder for him, because big events are likely to start happening from here, including renewing our vows in a few years, and I'd like for us to get that one on tape. First I looked at Costco, and was very dissatisfied with their selection. Their prices weren't bad, but I really wanted more to choose from. So I went to Best Buy.
At first, I was browsing for a while, and had two ppl asking me if they could help me before I was ready. Now a bit of a reminder of my shopping technique: I go with my gut feelings. If I have a good feeling about something, even if it's not the cheapest, the highest rated, or the most consumer-friendly, I will generally choose it. It has to be something really special to make me set aside the gut-preference. I browsed all of the selection and found a camcorder that was maybe the third cheapest. It also had a bundle package option, and I was intrigued. There was only one more option that seriously tempted me: A camcorder that ALSO had a projection feature. It was hecka cool, but it was also $500... So I took the cheapskate rout and chose my gut feeling.
Then I had a hell of a time finding someone to help me! First I asked a guy I thought worked there, but it turned out he was there representing Sony. He was really nice though and found me someone else. The someone else actually didn't work that area though, so he was pretty clueless about how to help me. He said someone from this section was coming now, they had just clocked in, so I had to wait a little longer while making painfully awkward conversation with the TV salesman. It's so incredibly awful when salesmen flirt with me!! >.< I immediately made mention of how it's an anniversary gift to my husband, which made it so much more awkward.
So the guy finally came, and I told him my choice, but the only one left was in a ratty-looking box. I was unhappy, but figured it shouldn't really matter. I asked about the bundle offer but they were out of some of the parts, and couldn't do substitutions. I seriously considered going to a different Best Buy to see if they had exactly what I wanted, but since the poor guy had rushed over, and was scrambling to answer my questions, I let him guide me through all of my options.
Eventually I let him help me choose a flexible little tripod, two memory cards that weren't too expensive, and though he recommended one or two-year warranty, I picked the three-year one. If anything happens to the camcorder, or we choose to change it, we can get credit for this purchase on a different one, as well as unlimited geek squad support. So I picked all that, purchased it, and went to leave. ....Only to find I'd forgotten the memory cards because the guy had taken my purchases from me when I went to carry them out and I thought he'd grabbed those as well. So I waited at the front while he ran back and brought me my other purchases. Then I went home, wrapped up the gift with all the other gifts I've gotten for my loved ones lately, and put it right in the living room, where hubby never noticed it. Yay!
I like the haunting quality of this song as well. ^.^
This Lady is earnest, witty, and well-written. Her humor apparently also matches mine, because I find myself laughing out loud at her witticisms. I wanna follow this lady!
Hmmm.. Since hubby wrote about his adventures to get my anniversary gift (which I loved and have already started using), I feel that I should do the same. I shopped around with the idea of getting a camcorder for him, because big events are likely to start happening from here, including renewing our vows in a few years, and I'd like for us to get that one on tape. First I looked at Costco, and was very dissatisfied with their selection. Their prices weren't bad, but I really wanted more to choose from. So I went to Best Buy.
At first, I was browsing for a while, and had two ppl asking me if they could help me before I was ready. Now a bit of a reminder of my shopping technique: I go with my gut feelings. If I have a good feeling about something, even if it's not the cheapest, the highest rated, or the most consumer-friendly, I will generally choose it. It has to be something really special to make me set aside the gut-preference. I browsed all of the selection and found a camcorder that was maybe the third cheapest. It also had a bundle package option, and I was intrigued. There was only one more option that seriously tempted me: A camcorder that ALSO had a projection feature. It was hecka cool, but it was also $500... So I took the cheapskate rout and chose my gut feeling.
Then I had a hell of a time finding someone to help me! First I asked a guy I thought worked there, but it turned out he was there representing Sony. He was really nice though and found me someone else. The someone else actually didn't work that area though, so he was pretty clueless about how to help me. He said someone from this section was coming now, they had just clocked in, so I had to wait a little longer while making painfully awkward conversation with the TV salesman. It's so incredibly awful when salesmen flirt with me!! >.< I immediately made mention of how it's an anniversary gift to my husband, which made it so much more awkward.
So the guy finally came, and I told him my choice, but the only one left was in a ratty-looking box. I was unhappy, but figured it shouldn't really matter. I asked about the bundle offer but they were out of some of the parts, and couldn't do substitutions. I seriously considered going to a different Best Buy to see if they had exactly what I wanted, but since the poor guy had rushed over, and was scrambling to answer my questions, I let him guide me through all of my options.
Eventually I let him help me choose a flexible little tripod, two memory cards that weren't too expensive, and though he recommended one or two-year warranty, I picked the three-year one. If anything happens to the camcorder, or we choose to change it, we can get credit for this purchase on a different one, as well as unlimited geek squad support. So I picked all that, purchased it, and went to leave. ....Only to find I'd forgotten the memory cards because the guy had taken my purchases from me when I went to carry them out and I thought he'd grabbed those as well. So I waited at the front while he ran back and brought me my other purchases. Then I went home, wrapped up the gift with all the other gifts I've gotten for my loved ones lately, and put it right in the living room, where hubby never noticed it. Yay!
I like the haunting quality of this song as well. ^.^
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Nooooo!! Scary!!!
T^T I should really just avoid scary ghost stories and things that have scary images. They always come back to haunt me when I'm trying to go to sleep. Especially if it deals with someone else trying to go to sleep. Perfect example: http://www.batoto.net/read/_/169640/sid-supernatural-investigation-department_v4_ch58_by_raw-crossing
I hate myself right now. It's 4:30 in the morning and I'm too scared to go to sleep. In general, the moment it starts to get light outside, I can go to sleep because there's no way it'll be dark enough to hide things from me. But when it's dark and I've just seen something that freaks me out I just can't stand it. Even Rebikins being there doesn't help because he's frickin' out. Sometimes he doesn't even remember us talking the next day. He certainly doesn't remember all the times I've kicked him and if he doesn't wake up enough over that, he's not going to save me from a ghost.
So yeah, it's out there. I'm a believer in ghosts. But I have a TON of experiences to back my belief! My family is either uncommonly stupid and gullible (maybe a little stupid and gullible, but not enough for this), or predisposed to ghostly activities. We have ghost stories spanning the generations! But I'll only mention personal ones, okay?
Example #1: My cousin and I were allowed to swim until we didn't want to anymore, even though it was getting dark. I was in eight grade, so 13-15 yrs old or so. Cousin was a year older than me. At first, even though it was dark there wasn't any problems and we were having fun. Then we started getting chills (it's summer, and doesn't actually get cold there), and hearing voices. Shadows that shouldn't move started moving, and most worrisome (being teenage females), we started seeing human shapes in the dark. Now it wasn't so dark that we couldn't see things around us pretty clearly, but those shadows were definitely there, and we got spooked. We decided to go inside, and guess what we found.... They were playing with a wiji (I know, wrong spelling) board, trying to contact another family member. Stupid family.... Let me say this: Neither of us had ANY idea they were going to do that until we walked in on it, and we only walked in on it because of the creepy feeling we shared that night.
Example #2: Same night, trying to work the board, my grandma (who I didn't get along with) and I were using it together. I felt the pull on a side my grandma could NOT have made it pull from and we're the only two the damned thing worked for. Mom got spooked that it worked for me and we stopped. She later burned it, and said that it made the fire burn purple. That could easily be a dye thing on the board, but it makes for a creepy story, right?
Example #3: We used to have a recliner that was just Papa's and the back of it was to the front door and hallway leading down to all the rooms and bathroom. I would often sit in it (I was the only one allowed, and not officially. I just didn't get in trouble for it, even though I was also banned) and be reading or watching TV and could feel someone come down the hallway behind me. I've always had really good senses for when someone is approaching me (you could say mischievous older siblings taught it) and especially for when someone is behind me. Often, when I jump and someone gloats about scaring me, it's because though I knew they were there, I wasn't expecting them to: grab me, clap their hands, yell in my ear, ghost hands down my body, etc. ANYway, No one ever got by me in the chair, but my senses would also tell me there was someone there when there wasn't. I would have the awful feeling of being watched, or of someone reading over my shoulder, but there was no one there. I'm pretty sure that at least once, someone leaned on the damn thing (tilting it back) and yet no one was there, or in any of the back rooms, so it wasn't a prank. I wasn't the only one that felt it. The only one that wouldn't admit to it was Papa, and even he sometimes accused us of being behind him when we weren't.
Example #4: This one is the most awful, in some ways. We had a nursery room where really odd things happen pretty often. Well the baby was sleeping (I'm not sure which babe was there at the time) and four of us were in the living room talking (all the girls). The baby monitor was on, and it started getting active and staticky. We all quieted down to see if we'd woken the baby, and instead we heard (distinctly. All of us.) "Get out of here! Get out!" in a voice we didn't know. We froze for a minute, then went to check on the baby. No one else was there.
....I'm gonna stop with the examples. It's late, I want to sleep and all this is doing is making me cry. Um. To explain the crying: I have this odd thing. When I see/hear about/ feel ghosts, or even just watch scary movies or think about past experiences too much, my eyes start to water. I'm not actively crying, I just can't stop myself from leaking some tears. I have no idea why, I just know it happens.
Oh. One last example: Maya sees the same things I feel. So do babies. I've been sitting in previously mentioned recliner, holding a baby, and the baby looks over my shoulder and either shows surprise, or chatters at something behind me, when no one was there. Often if I feel something that doesn't jive with what I feel is normal, I'll look. I'll think it's my imagination, look away, and realize Maya is staring exactly where I was a few seconds before. I've also seen her head swerve at the same time as mine, and look in the same spot, as though we're both reacting to something. So having Maya with me is extremely reassuring, because if she doesn't react, I can deem myself as being silly. And sometimes I can play off her staring into the distance as seeing a bug or something and downplay it.
So essentially, I try not to be a scaredy cat, but I HAVE experienced some freaky things. Said things sometimes make it hard for me to sleep, making me stay up til damn early in the morning, making me cranky and whiny and teary-eyed. I will say this: Seeing things, or feeling them, sucks. Having them touch you? THAT is the worst.
I'm gonna go find some sickly sweet story that will take my mind off of this. Good night....
I hate myself right now. It's 4:30 in the morning and I'm too scared to go to sleep. In general, the moment it starts to get light outside, I can go to sleep because there's no way it'll be dark enough to hide things from me. But when it's dark and I've just seen something that freaks me out I just can't stand it. Even Rebikins being there doesn't help because he's frickin' out. Sometimes he doesn't even remember us talking the next day. He certainly doesn't remember all the times I've kicked him and if he doesn't wake up enough over that, he's not going to save me from a ghost.
So yeah, it's out there. I'm a believer in ghosts. But I have a TON of experiences to back my belief! My family is either uncommonly stupid and gullible (maybe a little stupid and gullible, but not enough for this), or predisposed to ghostly activities. We have ghost stories spanning the generations! But I'll only mention personal ones, okay?
Example #1: My cousin and I were allowed to swim until we didn't want to anymore, even though it was getting dark. I was in eight grade, so 13-15 yrs old or so. Cousin was a year older than me. At first, even though it was dark there wasn't any problems and we were having fun. Then we started getting chills (it's summer, and doesn't actually get cold there), and hearing voices. Shadows that shouldn't move started moving, and most worrisome (being teenage females), we started seeing human shapes in the dark. Now it wasn't so dark that we couldn't see things around us pretty clearly, but those shadows were definitely there, and we got spooked. We decided to go inside, and guess what we found.... They were playing with a wiji (I know, wrong spelling) board, trying to contact another family member. Stupid family.... Let me say this: Neither of us had ANY idea they were going to do that until we walked in on it, and we only walked in on it because of the creepy feeling we shared that night.
Example #2: Same night, trying to work the board, my grandma (who I didn't get along with) and I were using it together. I felt the pull on a side my grandma could NOT have made it pull from and we're the only two the damned thing worked for. Mom got spooked that it worked for me and we stopped. She later burned it, and said that it made the fire burn purple. That could easily be a dye thing on the board, but it makes for a creepy story, right?
Example #3: We used to have a recliner that was just Papa's and the back of it was to the front door and hallway leading down to all the rooms and bathroom. I would often sit in it (I was the only one allowed, and not officially. I just didn't get in trouble for it, even though I was also banned) and be reading or watching TV and could feel someone come down the hallway behind me. I've always had really good senses for when someone is approaching me (you could say mischievous older siblings taught it) and especially for when someone is behind me. Often, when I jump and someone gloats about scaring me, it's because though I knew they were there, I wasn't expecting them to: grab me, clap their hands, yell in my ear, ghost hands down my body, etc. ANYway, No one ever got by me in the chair, but my senses would also tell me there was someone there when there wasn't. I would have the awful feeling of being watched, or of someone reading over my shoulder, but there was no one there. I'm pretty sure that at least once, someone leaned on the damn thing (tilting it back) and yet no one was there, or in any of the back rooms, so it wasn't a prank. I wasn't the only one that felt it. The only one that wouldn't admit to it was Papa, and even he sometimes accused us of being behind him when we weren't.
Example #4: This one is the most awful, in some ways. We had a nursery room where really odd things happen pretty often. Well the baby was sleeping (I'm not sure which babe was there at the time) and four of us were in the living room talking (all the girls). The baby monitor was on, and it started getting active and staticky. We all quieted down to see if we'd woken the baby, and instead we heard (distinctly. All of us.) "Get out of here! Get out!" in a voice we didn't know. We froze for a minute, then went to check on the baby. No one else was there.
....I'm gonna stop with the examples. It's late, I want to sleep and all this is doing is making me cry. Um. To explain the crying: I have this odd thing. When I see/hear about/ feel ghosts, or even just watch scary movies or think about past experiences too much, my eyes start to water. I'm not actively crying, I just can't stop myself from leaking some tears. I have no idea why, I just know it happens.
Oh. One last example: Maya sees the same things I feel. So do babies. I've been sitting in previously mentioned recliner, holding a baby, and the baby looks over my shoulder and either shows surprise, or chatters at something behind me, when no one was there. Often if I feel something that doesn't jive with what I feel is normal, I'll look. I'll think it's my imagination, look away, and realize Maya is staring exactly where I was a few seconds before. I've also seen her head swerve at the same time as mine, and look in the same spot, as though we're both reacting to something. So having Maya with me is extremely reassuring, because if she doesn't react, I can deem myself as being silly. And sometimes I can play off her staring into the distance as seeing a bug or something and downplay it.
So essentially, I try not to be a scaredy cat, but I HAVE experienced some freaky things. Said things sometimes make it hard for me to sleep, making me stay up til damn early in the morning, making me cranky and whiny and teary-eyed. I will say this: Seeing things, or feeling them, sucks. Having them touch you? THAT is the worst.
I'm gonna go find some sickly sweet story that will take my mind off of this. Good night....
Monday, May 6, 2013
What's your Perfect life?
I was reading pineapple's blog and she left a link about Financial Independence and Frugality that I just don't agree with. Here's the link: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/03/27/selling-the-dream-of-financial-independence-part-2/
Its not that I don't like the idea of being able to do whatever you want, however you want, blah blah blah. But that's not really my ideal. I went a bit further and followed a link on that link (haha, inception) where they mentioned working out what their perfect life would be. They said it was really hard to actually pin point what their perfect life would be, so I thought I would give it a try. I recommend you try it as well (and post your ideal as a comment *hint hint*). Ideally you would discuss it with your partner, but since mine is sleeping right now (We had a cockroach incident and every time I think of losing consciousness my skin crawls, so I'm staying up) I'll wing it for a while.
Perfect life... perfect life... Uh. I'm pretty content with what we have, but I suppose if it could be improved.... While we have no children, I'd like to work the same hours as my husband, so we can be together the maximum amount of time. But what I've noticed most is that we do best with some time away from each other. When we're together all the time we end up doing separate things anyway. When he's with me, I don't much feel like doing my work, especially if he's not working too. When he's away, I can get SO much more stuff done, simply because I'm not constantly drifting into his orbit as I'm wont to do, or considering if he would want go along with me on errands. So maybe slightly different hours would work best.
When we were both working, even though my job was shit pay, we were making more than enough to spend on our (my) vices and still put money back. Hubby isn't much of a spender, but I am.
I am! I like to spend money on little things to make a day more interesting! A coffee! A cookie! Interesting kitchen gadgets! A wonderful book! Gifts for people I love! ....You know, even just writing this makes me realize part of the reason I'm so overweight.... =.=;; You don't really notice it when you're in the swing of the day, and do things on a spur of the moment decision, but reflecting on it makes it more obvious. I will try to do less impulsive buying. I'm sorry, hubby. V__V It's just so hard!!
Another issue is that the only interesting things to do lately when I'm by myself is to shop. I don't have any clubs or classes, I'm unfit for physical activity, and eventually even reading gets boring. I should find some sort of hobbies to keep me amused and make friends but... ;__; I'm about to have surgery. I won't be able to go for long. Even cooking has started to be a burden on my leg, so I'm getting pretty desperate to have it fixed before it gets any worse. Anyway! Perfect life!
BE HEALTHY!! I want to be able to do physical activities with hubby, like play tennis, or go jogging (though I don't think he really likes that), or ice skating, or just taking walks together.
Otherwise right now, I think our life together is perfect. All those sites talk about gaining money and not spending any and being happy to watch your money grow, knowing that you're secure. Personally I think it's bull shit. Money isn't powerful, it isn't a trap, and it doesn't make you stupid for using it. What's important is taking your life and suiting it to yourself. If you have to secure a ton of money before you feel up to doing some spectacular things, okay. It's certainly true that money is necessary for lots of things. But creating a habit of not using it, of frugality to the point of pride is akin to cutting off your nose to spite your face to me. Sure, you don't have to spend money often as I do, but to take pride in not spending money if you absolutely don't have to is like a nightmare to me. Unfortunately I think hubby is more likely to agree with those sites than me. Fortunately he generally doesn't markedly disapprove of my spending either, though he will occasionally put a limit on me when I get carried away.
Obviously I'm tired so I'm getting sidetracked.
Perfect Life Part II:
When we have children, I want to be in their life 2/3 of their waking time. I think constantly being in their life makes them dependent and complacent (and would drive me crazy), but 1/3 is just too little time. If Hubby also spends 2/3 of their waking time with them, then we'll overlap nicely and cover for each other so no one loses their sanity. ^.^ Hopefully we can continue that until they reach the teens. I'd like for both of us to work, but maybe me work part-time so that I can also be primarily concerned for the kids and not for making money. Of course if hubby gets tired of working, we can trade off that responsibility every couple of years. I want to go on trips with the kids, even if it's just to a museum or a picnic, and take tons of videos of them and pictures and raise them to be athletic and smart and sincere! But not conceited. I detest conceited children....
Sigh. "The Perfect Life" huh? I think I'm already living it. Perfection is a series of ups and downs that leave you happy in the grand scheme of things, if you ask me. And ultimately, I married Rebikins because he makes me happy, and I believe I make him happy. It's a double-win. Yeah, Japan factors a lot in what can make me ecstatic, but it's something that lives inside of me. As long as I stay connected to it in some way, my hope to go there and interact doesn't die. It's just dormant. I really really hope I don't thrust the wishes of my heart down my children's throats so they feel constricted. I'll strive hard not to do that. :3
Okay, a headache is developing, so I'm really super tired. It still really bothers me to think of going to bed in a home that has seen two incredibly large cockroaches, but soon I will be too tired to care. Yay exhaustion.....
I've always enjoyed this song, mama had it on a CD. It's haunting but sweet to me, and the tune is easy enough for me to remember. Skip to the :40 second mark.
Its not that I don't like the idea of being able to do whatever you want, however you want, blah blah blah. But that's not really my ideal. I went a bit further and followed a link on that link (haha, inception) where they mentioned working out what their perfect life would be. They said it was really hard to actually pin point what their perfect life would be, so I thought I would give it a try. I recommend you try it as well (and post your ideal as a comment *hint hint*). Ideally you would discuss it with your partner, but since mine is sleeping right now (We had a cockroach incident and every time I think of losing consciousness my skin crawls, so I'm staying up) I'll wing it for a while.
Perfect life... perfect life... Uh. I'm pretty content with what we have, but I suppose if it could be improved.... While we have no children, I'd like to work the same hours as my husband, so we can be together the maximum amount of time. But what I've noticed most is that we do best with some time away from each other. When we're together all the time we end up doing separate things anyway. When he's with me, I don't much feel like doing my work, especially if he's not working too. When he's away, I can get SO much more stuff done, simply because I'm not constantly drifting into his orbit as I'm wont to do, or considering if he would want go along with me on errands. So maybe slightly different hours would work best.
When we were both working, even though my job was shit pay, we were making more than enough to spend on our (my) vices and still put money back. Hubby isn't much of a spender, but I am.
I am! I like to spend money on little things to make a day more interesting! A coffee! A cookie! Interesting kitchen gadgets! A wonderful book! Gifts for people I love! ....You know, even just writing this makes me realize part of the reason I'm so overweight.... =.=;; You don't really notice it when you're in the swing of the day, and do things on a spur of the moment decision, but reflecting on it makes it more obvious. I will try to do less impulsive buying. I'm sorry, hubby. V__V It's just so hard!!
Another issue is that the only interesting things to do lately when I'm by myself is to shop. I don't have any clubs or classes, I'm unfit for physical activity, and eventually even reading gets boring. I should find some sort of hobbies to keep me amused and make friends but... ;__; I'm about to have surgery. I won't be able to go for long. Even cooking has started to be a burden on my leg, so I'm getting pretty desperate to have it fixed before it gets any worse. Anyway! Perfect life!
BE HEALTHY!! I want to be able to do physical activities with hubby, like play tennis, or go jogging (though I don't think he really likes that), or ice skating, or just taking walks together.
Otherwise right now, I think our life together is perfect. All those sites talk about gaining money and not spending any and being happy to watch your money grow, knowing that you're secure. Personally I think it's bull shit. Money isn't powerful, it isn't a trap, and it doesn't make you stupid for using it. What's important is taking your life and suiting it to yourself. If you have to secure a ton of money before you feel up to doing some spectacular things, okay. It's certainly true that money is necessary for lots of things. But creating a habit of not using it, of frugality to the point of pride is akin to cutting off your nose to spite your face to me. Sure, you don't have to spend money often as I do, but to take pride in not spending money if you absolutely don't have to is like a nightmare to me. Unfortunately I think hubby is more likely to agree with those sites than me. Fortunately he generally doesn't markedly disapprove of my spending either, though he will occasionally put a limit on me when I get carried away.
Obviously I'm tired so I'm getting sidetracked.
Perfect Life Part II:
When we have children, I want to be in their life 2/3 of their waking time. I think constantly being in their life makes them dependent and complacent (and would drive me crazy), but 1/3 is just too little time. If Hubby also spends 2/3 of their waking time with them, then we'll overlap nicely and cover for each other so no one loses their sanity. ^.^ Hopefully we can continue that until they reach the teens. I'd like for both of us to work, but maybe me work part-time so that I can also be primarily concerned for the kids and not for making money. Of course if hubby gets tired of working, we can trade off that responsibility every couple of years. I want to go on trips with the kids, even if it's just to a museum or a picnic, and take tons of videos of them and pictures and raise them to be athletic and smart and sincere! But not conceited. I detest conceited children....
Sigh. "The Perfect Life" huh? I think I'm already living it. Perfection is a series of ups and downs that leave you happy in the grand scheme of things, if you ask me. And ultimately, I married Rebikins because he makes me happy, and I believe I make him happy. It's a double-win. Yeah, Japan factors a lot in what can make me ecstatic, but it's something that lives inside of me. As long as I stay connected to it in some way, my hope to go there and interact doesn't die. It's just dormant. I really really hope I don't thrust the wishes of my heart down my children's throats so they feel constricted. I'll strive hard not to do that. :3
Okay, a headache is developing, so I'm really super tired. It still really bothers me to think of going to bed in a home that has seen two incredibly large cockroaches, but soon I will be too tired to care. Yay exhaustion.....
I've always enjoyed this song, mama had it on a CD. It's haunting but sweet to me, and the tune is easy enough for me to remember. Skip to the :40 second mark.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Vets again.
To make this easier on me, I'm copying and pasting this from a convo I had with a friend.
i wanted them to do blood work and get a fecal sample to be sure nothing serious was wrong with my cat
i WARNED the vet that Maya was wild
but because she was fine with the initial examination, the vet thought i was exaggerating
.....
when the tech (she called herself the 'cat lady') came in, i warned her too
i said "She has claws, and she'll use them. She also will bite if you bother her. You have to be really careful!"
the vet told me i couldn't go back with her, that it wouldn't help, and i'd only be in the way
well, i'm waiting for them to bring maya back
and i hear "MRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWW!!!!"
and stuff falling
and "HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
and various other disastrous sounds
i softly call out "I can HEAR that....."
and a few minutes later i hear the vet coming back
outside the door in a slightly panicked voice she said "No, no, keep her back there!"
then she came in, sat down, and said
"Wow, she really surprised me. We're gonna have to sedate her. There's no way we'll get the bloodwork and fecal exam if we don't."
I couldn't help it. I smirked a bit and said "I warned you she was wild."and the vet was like "Well normally with cats like that, I can't even do the normal examination. And I really don't think you being there would make it better. So sedation works like this.... blah blah. And it costs blah blah."
she told me to come back in an hour
that they would take care of her, i should go shopping or something
i said i would go pick up my husband and be back in twenty minutes
but i wasn't leaving until i saw maya first
lol
the vet looked nervous, and was like "I have to warn you, she's wrapped in a towel for everyone's protection, and it makes her feel safe"
lol
i just looked at her
because that was bullshit
and was like "I'm not leaving without seeing her first. I heard her earlier."
so i go to the back where the cat lady is holding her
the towel is only around her middle, all her claws are out, and she's looking panicked
i start talking to her, grab her paws and she retracts her claws. I take the claws out of the poor cat lady, and get Maya to calm down a bit, and then i leave.
when we come back, they're already through with her and she's been woken back up
she's literally crying, her pupils are huge, and her meow is like "Mew....." in such a tiny voice i'm shocked.
we immediately take her home, but she's unable to hold her bowels, and when i get her in the house, she's frothing so badly it covers her entire belly to her back legs.
she hasn't shit her cage since the first time i put her in it
i was so mad
i was inarticulate
we leave because i have an appointment elsewhere, and i have reb drive so i can call the vet
i get the front desk, and after i start my litany, they immediately offer to get the doctor. Of course i accept.
i'm put on hold for a few minutes.
a diferent person takes the phone, still a front desk person. I stumble over my words, but even i can hear the anger in my voice.
she also immediately offers to get the doctor
i'm on hold for a few more minutes
this actually cools my anger a bit.
the doctor gets on, my first question: What exactly are the side effects of this sedative you swore by?
because i had questioned her extensively about it before i consented, and she never mentioned either of these side effects
she said the combination of drugs and the car ride probably made her nauseous, and that the foam might be from the alcohol they left on her coat from when they took blood.
she apologized, told me it would seem like Maya was drunk for most of the day, but she'd be back to normal by evening, promised not to forget to mention possible side effects again, and i ended the call, but i still felt i had failed maya again. The vet said she would call the next day, and I was still angry with her then. I don't like that vet. I wanted the other one, the one we've been seeing. I didn't remember they have several of them at the hospital.
I could wish this wouldn't happen again, but you never know. I also picked up some new cat food at the vet's to try (25 dollars for four pounds!!! SO EXPENSIVE!!!).
Something tells me this kind of problem is going to be a normal occurrence if I'm not careful to get the vet that all of us like.
Something tells me this kind of problem is going to be a normal occurrence if I'm not careful to get the vet that all of us like.
Reb and I went to a Fiesta held by our housing office, where they were offering prizes. I refused to touch our tickets because I know my luck at these things is abysmal. It was the right decision! Reb won a popcorn bowl, three movie candies, and a 25 dollar gift card to fandango! :) Yay movies! I claimed the prize though.... lol. I thought he would walk behind me, but when I looked back he was still sitting down. I felt bad, cause I know it was his luck that let us win. We also took some cute pictures, and had dinner there, all for free. It really wasn't bad. I tried a Margarita, we danced, and we talked to a few people.
My job ended on Tuesday. Since then I have been to two doctors, gotten an MRI of my knee, and am scheduled for another doctor's appointment to discuss the findings and probable surgery for my ACL. On the plus side, I'll likely recover in about 12 weeks. Then I can be normal again! I can't wait to take up jogging again. I hope I can get that feeling back that I found when I did it in Japan. ^.^; And yes, 12 weeks is equal to three months. It just sounds shorter when you put it in weeks.... V.V I like that. When I think of how long I could be out of commission.... well. I don't think about that!
Since my job ended, both my client and my boss have reached out to me as friends. I really like that. I hope we can be great friends. I always felt awkward offering friendship when I was essentially a subordinate because I just felt like it would be offensive to other people, and even seen as brown-nosing. Now I can be friends with nothing holding me back! :D
Funny video:
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