Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Future Me Letter

I got my letter!


Dear FutureMe, 
I'm only doing this because of peer pressure. I've never seen the point of doing these before, but I think this might be it. So here's what's going on in my life right now: 
Maya's just gone to the vet, where she put the fear of wild creatures into the superior-complex vet. 
I just had my MRI done of my left knee because of ACL. I meet the doctor on Tuesday to discuss my options and plan to desecrate my body. Recovery looks like forever, but from your vantage point, it's sure to seem like a blink of an eye. 
I just lost my job, and though I have an awesome recommendation letter (several, actually), I fear I won't find a job truly suitable to me. 
I worry that I'm going to become too much of a burden for my husband to bear. Logically I know it's bull shit, but emotionally I'm looking for signs of being tired of me. Of course, the only thing he say's he's tired of, is being on top all the time. That's hilarious, so I'm not worried about it too much. 
Other than that, life is pretty good. I love my husband, my life with him, and my cat. Heh. I also love my family, and hope in two years that Cin and the girls and boy will be in a much better place. 
I hope that Kris is finally holding up on her own, and that the babies are all happy and healthy and still love me best. 
I hope my parents are alright, and that we're looking forward to having children now! I should have had the implanon taken out two weeks ago, right? :D Yay no more nasty mood swings and long periods! 
Alright, I'm done. I hope this letter passes muster better than my last future letter did.


I'm a little disappointed with myself here. I'm in nearly the same position, and we already have a kid, but not one from our bodies. Cin and the kids aren't exactly in a 'better' place.
MJ talked with me today about her mom, and how since she came out of Cin's butt, everything about MJ will always be Cin's business. I was angry about it, but pretty simply put it this way: You'll lose things if you make them her business. I said that if she was going to tell her mom we're moving, that we wouldn't move to NC for sure then.
Originally we were talking about MJ and how she not only likes boys, but girls too, and the girls that she's liked and kissed. I was gently warning her not to tell the rest of our family, that they might hurt her feelings. She decided to be dramatic, and said 'I just want my family to know the real me!' I never would have told my Grandma that I was bisexual. Hell, when I told my mom, she cried and said she was scared for my soul!! Which makes me wonder about souls, honestly.

I wrote another letter to myself and tried to make it more gentle than this one. I'll see it in a year or two. I don't remember when I marked it.



1 comment:

Caitlin said...

Interesting.

Now I remember you guys having me do this. Apparently mine is coming in another year. We wrote these three months before we decided to completely change directions, so it will probably be totally off.