Off to Grandma's House we went!

And now we're back. Quick summary of the visit to Hubby's parents' house:
We left Friday afternoon after an awful hour at MJ's school trying to get her schedule worked out because she was a 'late-enrollee'. Hit traffic that delayed us.
Got there, ate at a place we'd been to before on a 'not good night' and incidentally I won the bet. Hubby bet we'd never eaten there before, but I was right.
Went back to the house/trailer, MJ danced for everyone....for a long time. And I did it sometimes too. Showed FIL my new tablet, he was impressed.
Went to put MJ to bed, long fight. Lots of screaming and crying, ended in me grumpy and leaving a bathroom light on for her.
Hubby tried to scold that we were spoiling her, didn't listen because I was exhausted.

Woke up the next day, late because I was tired. MIL ordered Dunkin Donuts for breakfast, no crossants so I was kinda grossed out. Think I managed to hide it, but that was way too much sugar for morning.
Drove to Aquarium, enjoyed it. Drove to Subway, ate. Changed clothes, drove to beach, swam. MIL and FIL walked on arbor for a while, when they came back, played Frisbee til little one caught it with her wrist. Then we packed up and headed home.
Decided to eat out. Stopped at Olive Garden, but MJ/Me/Hubby really wanted Ruby Tuesdays because we haven't been in years. It was good. Found my wedding ring. Hubby insisted I wear it.
Went home. MJ danced and we watched Home Free. It was good.
Put MJ to bed, fewer problems, though we tried to let MIL tuck MJ in, and that didn't work. Hubby had to go in, and that still didn't work. Ended up being a team effort to get the 11 yr old settled. Poem reading was required.
Talked with MIL for a bit, Hubby made excuse to go to Walmart, MIL stayed home because 'it was late' (SUCCESS). Hubby bought condoms and snack cakes. Fun fun fun times were had.
Slept like the dead for many hours. It was guuuud.

MIL made breakfast, and it got cold because we overslept over an hour. MJ couldn't find a brush. I combed her salty, frizzy hair. She complained later, but didn't complain while I did it.
Breakfast was good. Waffles were had.
Games were played. Tennis, bowling, and Trouble. Never had to leave the bedroom. (Thank you Wii)
Left for home, Burger King coupons were used.
MJ had a fit. Will expound later.
Made it home. MJ danced, I made her lunch for school, bed was attempted.
MJ fought it like a champ. Or a troublesome child. Same thing at this point.
Eventual tentative success.

MJ's fighting fit:

She said I was rude for interrupting her daydream, even though I left her alone as much as I could, and didn't try to interact with her until I thought she was done, and only when I needed to. In my favor, Hubby also thought she was done. Her rudeness was overly offensive, and then she tried to turn everything on me. When I repeated her arguments back at her, she eventually yelled about how she wishes she couldn't talk, because she never says anything right. Mainly because her argument was so ridiculous I almost laughed trying to summarize it. She really fought it, for a long time, but I refrained from handing out any punishment and tried to talk through it, to reach an understanding with her. The fight went out of her when she was finally saying how she wants us to be supportive, and I turned around to look at her and said 'I love you, I support you. I think you can do anything you want to, and I'll help you.' She got tears in her eyes and I added 'You're my daughter.' The tears fell and she said 'And you're my Auntie.' I nodded, Hubby said he would do the same thing but he didn't want to die, laughter happened, and life went on.

She had a really good weekend, and I think it worried her that something bad would have to happen soon to 'equal out' the good, and she felt she should ruin it herself rather than leave it to fate. That's my interpretation, at least. I could always be wrong.

On a new note:
My sister (not MJ's mom) has fallen off the wagon again, and indulged in heavy drugs this past week. Now she's out of money, came crawling back to Mom, asking for help after abandoning her son to my mom without Mom's agreement. Mom had changed the locks on the doors to try to keep her out, but Kadykins (her son) let her in. Mom said that if Kris went to rehab and gave custody to Mom, she would keep kadykins and let Kris stay while she worked through this. Kris refused. So Mom is insisting Kris leave, but Kris won't. Kris has no money, no car, and no way to get to work, and surprisingly, work still wanted her on Friday. No idea about now though. I don't understand this, and have no idea why she would do this, especially the night I was supposed to meet up with her. She didn't show. Sisters.....

Slapping or Popping, isn't it still wrong?

So today, I called home to check on MJ, and ask if anyone had seen a scary movie Hubby and I are gonna watch tonight. Instead I get a 25 minute conversation on how much our Mom sucks, how she slapped MJ in the face multiple times this morning, and how she's too sick for my sister to leave her. After repeating myself a few times (telling her not to worry about Mom, just leave when she can), and then being told I can't understand her concerns because I don't have children, I hung up on her.
Hubby and I then discussed whether we should go pick up our child tonight, or wait and listen to the other sides. Sister's side was: MJ finally had a breakdown this morning that had been building all week. Breakdown included: Throwing things, kicking furniture, screaming in people's faces, and calling her younger cousin stupid. Mom wasn't home to give her side, and she'd taken MJ with her so we put the possible decision on hold, and Hubby went back to work.
Mom just called a little while ago, and said she wanted me to know, MJ had had a fit this morning. Mom physically dragged her to the living room, and when MJ was screaming in her face, she popped her in the mouth twice. Afterward, she was going shopping, and asked if MJ wanted to come along. Then she proceeded to buy a lot of things for MJ that she doesn't need. I vaguely recall her doing the same thing to me. Being harsh and then giving me things afterward to sooth my hurt and anger with her. I don't think it's right. I also don't know if it'd be worth it to keep MJ and her Nana apart because of it. Its something Hubby and I will talk about. I wanted to be sure to write it down before I forget anything.
MJ said she doesn't want us to pick her up today or Friday. She wants us to come as late as possible, so Sunday is her preference. I'm torn about this as well. I think we'll stick to Friday, because I don't want her there any longer. But then, Hubby is really enjoying the time without her, so maybe he'll push for Sunday. I don't know.
I just got finished putting up three Curtain Hangers, and fixing the shower head so it doesn't leak water anymore. I wonder if we should bother changing MJ's showerhead, or if we should return it to the store. We haven't installed it, and Mom bought one for us, though since we already have one, she hasn't offered to give it to us since then. I'll think about it.
We still have about 20 boxes to unpack, but we're not in any hurry to do so, so if you want to come visit, please just let us know. ;) I won't even care that my house is pretty lame. I probably should care, but I don't.

Yeah, just wanted to get this out. Toodles.

Moving moving mooooooving~!

This child is scary as shit. She told her mom 'I want you to read those letters and take every word into your heart' and I was like 'Ohhhhh shiiiiiit'. Okay, and now she just said she likes being a big sister because 'We share the same joy and the same pain. And I like sharing emotions because we're family and we understand each other.' I just..... *shakes head* She is dramatic and ridiculous and I don't even have any idea whether to nurture that or try to temper it.
Arranged to get someone to pick up our extra furniture tomorrow. Ran around getting things together to leave today. First we went to pick up Hubby's bookbag, let MJ say goodbye to her daycare, and got the car inspected. They needed more time to work out why the engine light is on, so Hubby said he'll take it back tomorrow morning. Then we went to County Line BBQ, and the food was good, but not so amazing. Kinda wish we coulda left room for dessert, but the bread was soooo heavy.
After that, I drove us to the Home Depot where we bought a dolly, a padlock (went to see if it fit the trucks, and it did), and some cool forearm straps to carry heavy things with.
After that, we dropped by a thrift shop that just opened, and arranged for them to come pick up our stuff. They were bringing things from San Marcos, so it's a bit out of the way for them to come to our house, but we're within 2 miles of the store, so the lady said it would be fine. At worst we'll dump the couch, and take everything else. But this couch is not going with us.

MJ loves this song:


I am REALLY offended at this song. It's not any better than Blurred Lines, just from the standpoint of a woman taking advantage of a boy instead. It's just as disgusting, and I hate that it's getting popular.


Holy crap. This is Hilary Duff?? I kinda like the blue/gray hair she's got going on, and her body is FABULOUS! Just, wow.

12 days and counting

We're moving on the 29th. It's really sinking in, and I can see the cogs in hubby's head turning and him starting to panic. He looks around and is like 'We're not prepared!!!' and tries to do everything, and get everything ready to go RIGHT NOW.
Now as for me, I'm sitting here going "Whelp, with the size of the truck we've rented, (16 ft) we can take this, and this, and this too. Oh this is gonna be FUN!!''
What we're both panicking about is getting a house set up in advance. It would be the best situation to be able to get a house that we can go directly to, that is under $900 a month, and that our parents can vet for us beforehand, so we're not renting blindly. The other preferences are: A yard, allows cats, in a good school system, with carpeted floors (my preference) or hardwood (Hubby's preference). Besides trying to keep it under a $1000 a month and near Brier Creek, we don't have many requirements. Hubby has a job all set for him in Brier Creek, so that's great. I can find something, for sure. There's a few options I'm keeping an eye on, actually.
I haven't figured out where to mail my license confirmation paper to, so I don't know what the hell I'm going to do to get my license approved. It's driving me crazy. I have an idea or two, but no real plan of action. So frustrating....
On the plus side, our families are doing everything they can to help us out. On the minus side, I had to tell Cin about us moving, and now she's super excited to see us. *rolls eyes* Apparently this weekend is my other niece's birthday. I'm not even sure how old she's turning, but I know MJ is gonna wanna call her. I guess it's fine, I just wish Cin hadn't consulted MJ about it before ME.
MJ and I are preparing for the trip by getting games and music downloaded to my tablet, since her's has broken, and has no real possibility of being fixable. Hubby and I aren't sure if we're going to drive together, or just fix an end point to meet at each day. I'd feel safer if we were together, but I also think we'd get annoyed having to watch out for each other the whole time. We'll prepare for both possibilities and figure it out from there.

I haven't heard from any of the other bloggers (you know who you are) in nearly a month. I'm both worried, and a little upset. I realize life takes priority, and that everyone has things going on that are essential to their livelihood, but a quick ten-minute check-in to reassert that you've thought about me/us/etc. wouldn't be too bad, would it? Yeah, you could say I could always call you if I'm that worried, but I've got a crippling fear of phones. And I *have* messaged you. I feel rejected and abandoned without any responses, and that I'm imposing myself on you, when I don't get an answer. It prevents me from sending further messages, because I hate being thought of as an annoyance. Just.... think about it, ok?

In other news, Hubby has been emailing potential places, and I've been calling them. That's ironic, isn't it? We have a few places set up for my mom to visit tomorrow, and for his parents to possibly visit next week. Hopefully between the two we'll have a place ready for us soon.

I guess that's it.

Exorcising the Ghost

I finally got rid of EVERYTHING dealing with the jerk. Good riddance! I feel like I should feel freer than I do. I don't feel like the shackles are gone yet.

I wrote that over a week ago. Now I can proudly say the shackles are gone, and all I can think about the guy is 'Good riddance'.



This song makes me think of MJ. On the one hand, we ARE a temporary home for her, because she'll eventually grow up and make her own. On the other hand, hopefully we'll be her final 'childhood home'. This reminds me of a bittersweet article I read about becoming a mother. Here's the link (Yes, I looked it up, it's so good): http://www.geekfill.com/2014/06/30/mom-gives-best-explanation-ever-how-life-changes-after-pregnancy-this-is-perfect/
There's a lot of good points in the article, but the one I was actually thinking about was the one that said that you'll wish for more time on this earth, not for yourself, but to watch over your children. I feel that way for sure. I've never valued my life very highly, but I value it more knowing that MJ would be lost without us, and that Hubbikins would be stuck between a rock and a hard place if I weren't here too. I'm not suicidal, but I've never had a strong survival instinct. MJ appears to be the same way. The only solution I can find is to give her things (REALISTIC GOALS) to reach for and achieve. Becoming an idol is too high, because it'll be years and years and she'll lose faith in herself. But something like becoming a good tennis/violin/soccer player is doable because she can check herself against others frequently and see progress. Books were my salvation. I lived to read the next volume, if you know what I mean.
I worry about MJ alot. For the last week or two I've actually been trying to treat her more like a mini-adult, and use manners and lead her in conversations rather than treating her like a child. Apparently that isn't working at all though because she burst out today about how we're so rude and mean to her. *rolls eyes* She just doesn't like being told no, and having things taken away because of misbehavior.

This is Hubby's perspective:

MJ continues to build up her frustrations and then let them out in unproductive ways. Today in particular, she was seriously testing the boundaries. She started off by trying to lie her way out of doing work she knows she is required by us to do every day. When I challenged her on it, she got this disrespectful tone and said "How do you know? You don't spy on me in the back seat." I took out the books from the car and told her to watch her tone. Later on, things seemed to be going fine until she tried to threaten that she wouldn't do her reading because the math and science workout books we have her do are "too much" and that she would compensate for it by basically just skimming over the reading and saying that she completed it when in reality she didn't. Both Runa and I made it clear to her that was not acceptable and that if she really tried to skimp out on the reading, we would give her reading quizzes and such to make sure she did it. Eventually Runa ended it by saying that if she was going to continue to complain about it, then we would increase her page number for math and science from 2 pages each day to 4 pages each day, and that she was complaining about stuff that was taking her an hour at most each day, if that. 

Then, when we got home, she started dragging a bag with her books on the ground, and Runa told her to stop dragging it on the ground. She argued and said that she dropped it. So for the arguing and dragging the bag on the ground (after several warnings and second chances) Runa decided to cancel watching the end of the movie for tonight. Then she started doing it repeatedly on purpose since she thinks that once we remove her reward or whatnot, that she can act however she wants. And I turned around and warned her that if she ever wanted to see the end of the movie, she would stop it immediately. And she made some comment about when did I get so bossy. *rolls eyes* 

And then when she went in the house, she thought it was ok to throw the bag down on the ground. Runa took away the movie for the foreseeable future right then and there. And then she had a meltdown in the kitchen where she said that she was tired of being wrong and always in the wrong. And that everything about her life is wrong, her hair is wrong, etc. So she essentially said that she wants us to let her get away with stuff because she hates feeling like she is in the wrong all the time. She also brought up how she thinks that she has a demon side and that that isn't her and she forgives herself every time she goes to this imaginary world in her heart/mind. And Runa stressed to her that she has to learn to accept the good and bad side of her and control the bad side. She also said she hates her father because of the stuff he supposedly did to her mom and for leaving her at the age of three. Runa sort of minimized it since, while he didn't necessarily do anything for her, she has never met him and it is sort of ridiculous to hate someone based on what someone else has said about him. She made the rather doubtful claim that he has been in jail more than her mother has. She brought up that she was still mad about us taking her too soon because of X/Y/Z. I pretty much said sorry that blah blah happened and made you feel sad, but there was really nothing we could do about when they decided to send you to us. She has attachment issues to her friends in her past. She thinks that she will just keep all the numbers and then call them all up one day and that they will still be close friends. I don't think it's sunk in with her that that is not how normal, run of the mill friends usually turn out.  Usually they just forget you or don't care that much. Because you grow apart. A concept that seems pretty foreign to MJ.

Rules we should prolly go over with her again at the next available opportunity:

Rewards/Going out to places/etc are always based on good behavior. Bad behavior results in loss of privileges no matter what promises or deals are made.

No arguing

No disrespect, in tone or in words. We can provide examples of disrespectful tone if necessary.

Gossip= Negativity in the Workplace

Or at least that's what the owner said today. She said it creates a negative work environment, and that the only things we should be talking about are the current things going on at work or relating to work. To keep personal stories and 'he said/she said's out of conversations at work. To a point, I understand, because it's true that it can help resentment build up, but..... If the treatment was kind and just by everyone, it wouldn't be an issue anyway. The quality of our workplace has really gone down in the last couple of months. It's pretty sad.
She also said they would have to strictly enforce the no gossip, and implied that people could lose their job if they're caught gossiping. If we have a complaint, we need to go to management, and they'll file an anonymous report. BUT she added something scary to that statement: OR NOT, if we feel we need to know who it is. I'm like (O__________O);; So you're reserving the right to know who said what, based on what they say, and not based on harmful content. And we're supposed to complain to the management about everything, rather than test the waters with other workers and see if it's a common problem or one that's only applicable to us?
For example: Tonight, there were literally NO towels in ANY of the THREE Thai rooms when I went to do a thai. It was my first and only thai of the night, but I had to restock all the rooms simply because I was the last one working. I've been having to clean up after my coworkers a ridiculous amount, and it irritates me because it causes me not to get out until 20-30 minutes AFTER closing. So what they're saying is, even though it could cause the workers I work with some serious drama (probation, fired, 'bad' review), I should report them, rather than let off steam by commiserating with another coworker that has the same problem and then letting it go? I mean, it's a recurring problem so I'm close to reporting them anyway, but still: Is the irritation worth possibly causing someone to get fired?
In a related note, and I just incidentally saw this today, I read an interesting quote. It said "A bad manager can take a good staff and destroy it, causing the best employees to flee and the remainder to lose all motivation." I REALLY wanted to comment 'I KNOOOOOW, RIGHT?!' but my manager is fb friends with me and might see it and ask about it, so I kinda don't wanna do that.....

Which brings me to topic two: I'm considering making a 'work' fb with my legal name, and switching my 'work contacts' to that fb account, and changing my current one back to my maiden name + favorite spelling to differentiate them. I want to do this because I feel stifled, like my coworkers could see something on the account and either change their view of me (in a bad way), or question me on something that wasn't intended for work. What do you guys think? Should it be a simple: 'If you don't want your boss to see it, don't post it'? Or is it 'Keep your work life and your private life separate'? I'm conflicted because it feels like lying to make a new account like that, but I also don't want to be stifled in my opinions and beliefs out of fear of losing my job.

I think that's enough heavy topics for the day. Oh wait, here's one more! I like Buzzfeed, to be honest. Here's a nice video from them!


And here's one that ISNT heavy! But still totally interesting!


On a note that I hope doesn't spoil it for you, do you think the make-up all looks a little..... hooker-ish? It's just REALLY strongly there. My favorite is the girl in black (Macy?) though. I like that make-up. It's not TOO strong, but still Pop-y. I wish I could do those 'wings' that well....

MJ safely graduated

though she ended up with a C- in Math again. :( It's frustrating because we definitely worked with her. Her other grades dropped as well, though reading and writing went up. :/ Oh well. Nothing too bad, really. I'm not inclined to make her feel like a failure for not getting straight As, like my mom did to me. It just doesn't seem important.
Damn. I just messed up. I heard that you can get a Schlitterbahn Ticket for 'free' for every 25 dollar donation to Colin's Hope, so I donated 25 as a test, because I didn't see anything about it. Turns out I wasn't on the right page to get that, so I ended up donating 100 dollars instead of the just the necessary 75..... Damnit. I'm so stupid sometimes. Well....yay we have the tickets, I suppose. Hope Hubby doesn't get mad. :/ At least it's going to a good cause.
The good cause is this: Colin's Hope is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that creates and supports programs that aid in preventing children from drowning. Despite numerous sources for water safety, the number of children who drown per year is staggering. Colin's Hope of saving children from drowning is being achieved through increased water safety awareness and improved standards throughout the community.

There's been some interesting music coming out lately, and I don't really like alot of it, but its certainly new. I *do* like this one, but I don't like this video as much as the original:


So, new things..... Mom wants me to send money to Cin, and she'll mail me a check later. She was supposed to mail me one a month ago, but never did. I'm thinking I'll wait til she says its in the mail.
Speaking of waiting for checks to be mailed, I waited a week and four days, and got no response from the new PA about paying my wages and finally broke down and sent a follow-up message today. I worked for him for a month, and was only paid 1 week of wages, and it wasn't even the most 'expensive' week. It's frustrating because I hate asking for money, but we can't afford to play charity and guilt games. We're moving next month and need every bit we can save. (Yes, I recognize the irony that just a few paragraphs before, I donated $100 to a swimming fund)
MJ graduated in a ceremony last Friday, so she missed the call from her mom. Cin since has called about 6 times, and never when I could actually answer the phone. Hopefully she'll call tomorrow at the 'usual' time.
We got her report card today. It's not great but it's not bad either. Two Cs, and a mixture of As and Bs.
Mmmmm interruption time: If you haven't tried Biscoff, you seriously need to. They're so good and its so easy to forget that they are. Om nom nom.