Is kinda my thoughts when I'm at work, lately. By lately, I mean today. Before my shift, the Head Receptionist pulled me aside and had a talk with me. The essential message being, don't get another bad review. I can understand why both the Head Receptionist and the Head Therapist would want to pull me aside and have that talk with me (I've gotten four or so bad reviews, two verbal, two written), since they've kind of stuck their neck out for me, telling the owner not to fire me, that I'm a good worker, etc. The owner's policy is '3 in a month and you're gone' (and ironically, no one tells us that until we get three) but the Heads both asked her not to fire me. So I've had that talk once. And then I got it again today.
The end result being, each time I put my hands on someone, I kept thinking about what if I wasn't satisfying them, and was this the last client for me, and things like that, until essentially it felt like an axe was hanging over my head, waiting for me to mess up and lose my job.
I think it's interesting that when the topic first came up, A. I was kinda blind-sided, and B. I was resigned to being fired. C. I didn't really care, either. Even now, it's not that I care so much about losing my job as it is that I care about losing the income, and not being able to see the clients that come specially for me. There's only four or so, (I'm egotistical to admit that I expected more 'followers' than four after seven months, but that apparently didn't happen) but I still really like them. Of the four, there's two, possibly three of them that are willing to see other therapists, so it's not really a big deal for the spa.
I talked with my teacher about it, and even though I wasn't trying to make it sound bad, he was rather incensed on my behalf, and told me that a job was a job, and if it wasn't suiting me, I needed to move on and find one that did. That he knows I'm a good therapist, and he respects me, and that I should respect myself enough to not be stuck in a job that isn't serving me well.
I think there's truth to that, but I also think this job is fairly lucrative, and fairly easy, so I'd dislike losing my income over a few people that weren't satisfied. I definitely was getting bored at work, so this could be a good thing, but I'd like the record of having worked somewhere for at least a year. I don't currently have that.
I also keep thinking about why I seem to be so dislikeable. I'm soft-spoken and gentle, I have a good sense of humor, I don't take offense easily, and I forgive easily. So why am I so disliked?
I like this song quite a bit. I think it's quite artful and amusing. The video is kinda sad though.
1 comment:
Yeah, I think you really need to look at finding another job altogether. It is convenient to have a job so close to mine, but I don't think the owner really knows how to run a massage place if she is willing to kick out anyone who has 3 bad reviews in a month. I feel like such decisions should be made by people who actually know what they are talking about rather than someone who plays pretend at knowing how to run a thai massage place.
I think you really need to let the one-year experience thing go. I'd rather you be happy (and perhaps get more experience at a better place that actually knows what it's doing). I will support you in whatever you do. Love you!
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