Depressing thoughts

Hello dears. It's been a while since I've posted. I'm close to the thing that makes me a fertile woman, and it's caused me to have some rather depressing thoughts, like how overweight I am, how ugly, how lazy and useless, and how horrible in general I am. I don't know if anyone gets this experience once a month, where you self-hate for nearly a week, but I am *not* enjoying it.

Even as I'm having the thoughts, I combat it with 'I'm overweight, but I'm very healthy. My well-check showed my only issue is a lack of good cholesterol, and everything else is actually really good.' or 'Well, maybe I'm not pretty to me, but Hubby thinks I'm beautiful. That means I have to be at least a little attractive.' or 'I work really hard at two jobs, and I still try to do things with my family, instead of collapsing and sleeping whenever I'm at home.' or 'I'm useful! I can do lots of things others can't.' or 'I'm sadistic and mean, that's true, but I'm still a pretty good person overall.' but even as I'm combatting it, my mood just sinks lower and lower.

It's depressing. In other news, the munchkin is taking on more and more of our mannerisms, and it's kinda fun to watch. She'll open her mouth and Hubby Jr or Runa Jr will pop out and shock us. It's fun to see what she 'catches' from us.

I feel like I'm getting a little overwhelmed working two jobs, and I'm thinking of trying to switch to a bank job that's still doing preservation work (since I've gotten all trained up, after all). I think they would offer comparable pay, and i'd be able to see my job from the opposite side, and they'd prolly not work me as hard, and have more days off and more reasonable expectations of 'working at home'.

Unfortunately, I don't see myself quitting until the owners come back, and they'll be gone for nearly a month. I'm not sure why, but there's rumors of the Head Man getting sick, so maybe that's it. On the plus side, they gave me a second dependable minion to chuck work onto (not really, she's just very dependable, and she's on thin ice since she caused a $20,000 mistake, so I have to check over all of her work). On the minus side, my client tried to make us install an HVAC for free (at our own cost) because 'we didn't report it missing on the damages report' but I did report it was missing. I didn't bid to replace all the appliances, why would I bid to replace the HVAC, especially when it's out of my crew's scope? Doesn't make sense, so I am disputing it, and I hope I win, because damn it, that's like $6,000 to complete. I reeeaaaally don't want to deal with that.

Hm. I could talk about how we're trying to find a new place to live, and stopped by an apartment place that was pretty nice, but a little expensive, and the homes were little lame and the windows were kinda scary, but overall it wasn't a bad place, but I don't really wanna. Teehee. Talk to you later.