Bending Arms and Taking notes

So, yesterday I wanted to go to a club and dance. Bf said he would go with me. Later that evening, around when it was a good time to go, bf said he didn't really want to go. I really wanted to go. I really didn't like the idea of going alone though. So I bent his arm, figuratively. I said Okay, but when he asked if that was okay, I was completely honest. I said no, that it wasn't okay, that I wanted to go clubbing. So he capitulated, agreed to go, even though he was already tired, not really dressed for it, and not in the mood. I was satisfied that I won, slightly impressed that he didn't put up more of a fight, and relieved that we didn't have to argue about it more. But I was also really upset with myself. It's true that I was completely honest, and that it's better to get my real feelings out, but I still felt like a total selfish bitch. I didn't like it. I didn't like myself about that. But then, today happened.
TJ asked me to pick him up from S&M along with one of his freinds so I did. I asked him to go clubbing with me and RB after i picked him up, and at first he agreed to. Then he called later, asked to be picked up later than we'd originally agreed, and then told me we'd discuss it after I picked him up. So we did, and he told me he didn't really wanna go to another gay club. What could I do? I smiled, told him it was fine, to have a good night, and that I'd see him later. I dropped him off after some confusion over where he lives. He invited me up, but I needed to get back, since RB's phone broke, so I had to say no. So I find myself completely torn.
On the one hand, I spoke my mind, but it was selfish and bratty. On the other hand, I held myself back, but ended up feeling disappointed and slightly upset over it. *sigh* To be a bitch, or to be let down. To be totally honest, or sensitive to others wants and wishes. Hard choice. *shrug* I guess it depends on the relationship. This makes me depressed.