Enmity.... I'm sick.

I hate being sick. Sniffles, runny nose, clogged throat, coughs, and sore, aching body all combine to make me irritated at the best of times, and quite irascible at the worst. I bet all of you look up that word and then commit it to memory. heh.
Poor hubby. We went shopping last night after I got off work, and I was actually in a good mood. I put on cute clothes, changed my hairstyle (somehow that means I went all out minus make up and jewelry), and was in a good enough mood to hum, sing along, dance around and smile. Considering I'm sick, that's near miraculous. But the opposite side: It was well after midnight (because I get off work at midnight), and hubby was tired. He knows I don't like shopping alone, though goodness knows it's more expedient, and so despite being very tired, he tagged along. I told him, and meant it, that I was okay with shopping by myself this time. It was only four days worth of food, after all. *shrug* But he didn't relent, and so he drooped through the entire experience. After we paid, I danced out of the building and asked him if he was unhappy. He didn't respond, so I asked him if he was tired. He said he was. And the whole good mood I had fostered and reveled in disappeared. Normally, if I dress cute, he notices. Normally, if I'm in a really good mood, he gets this wonderful indulgent smile and starts smiling the whole time with me. But due to his tiredness (completely understandable) last night he didn't. And it UTTERLY ruined the entire night for me. Now, even without looking up 'irascible' you know what it means. I wanted him to go away, get in bed, and go to his damned forsaken sleep and leave me alone with the damage he'd wrought on my happiness. ....Eventually, he did.
Normally, after I sleep on something that made me angry, I wake up in a much better mood, and that's the end of it. Occasionally, like today, I wake up remembering I'm pissed (though admittedly not always remembering WHY as I wake) and unwilling to deal with the person that made me angry. Once again I state: Poor hubby. I was uncommunicative, uncooperative, and unhappy to see him. I didn't want to deal with the person I was thinking had ruined my day. So I didn't. I didn't even text him like I normally do throughout the work hours. The only texts we sent related to dinner and what we were doing about lunch tomorrow. All the way until I got home and he came out of the bathroom looking adorable and sleepy with his Mr. Owl glasses on, I was still pissed at him. For not leaving me alone, for leaving me alone, for not indulging me, for reading his books, goodness, logically it really doesn't make much sense. But I was. And then he came out of the bathroom and he hugged me tight and I could feel how glad he was to hug me, and it felt like he had missed me, and even though we couldn't kiss (I'm sick, and he's terrified of getting sick because of me), I felt the lurve. And my irritation with him went away. I even made him a decent lunch for tomorrow. This just goes to show: Hugs make life so much sweeter.

On a different note: When I sit in Reb's computer chair, I sit at the edge. That leaves.... I don't know, an area of 6 inches by 15 inches of space between my toosh and the back of the chair. Guess who fills that spot? You guessed it! The kitty cat! She's resting her head on my booty as I type, and snoring. It's a somewhat awkward feeling.

On a further different note: If you had the choice to spend $30 more on a romantic get-away hotel that's 50 minutes away from your mid-destination, or a hotel that's decent and not expensive but also 50 minutes away, or a hotel that's cheaper by $5 but only 5 minutes away from your destination, which would you pick? My preference is the romantic getaway (obvious because I listed it first), but I don't think it's necessarily practical. Here's the options (because I believe the options are interesting, if nothing else). Tell me what you think.

50 minutes from the destination, $135
http://www.thecabinatthelodge.com/rooms/class/the-cabin.htm

50 minutes from the destination, $101

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-hotel-highland-at-five-points-south-birmingham
http://www.thehotelhighland.com/dining/

5 minutes away, $131
http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g30632-d672991-Reviews-Hampton_Inn_Jasper-Jasper_Alabama.html

I like this song, and I also really like this anime/manga.

Root canal....Cold sore..... gingivitis....

So!

I went in to tell my boss that I was going to start looking for another job, and he asked me what was wrong. I looked at him, weighed my morals, and told the truth. "I've been falling asleep on the job, sitting in a car for ten hours a night has been terrible on my body, and the late hours are making daily life really hard for me." I expected that after I admitted to falling asleep, he would fire me right then. Instead, he offered me a job from 4-midnight where I could walk the post instead of drive, and if I'm not stuck in a car, there's little danger of me falling asleep. So I offered to try it, and so far it's been great! Only drawbacks: It's five days a week (eight hour shifts), it started the same week (he moved a lot of people around to get me moved so quickly), and I had both a root canal and a baby shower the same week he scheduled me to start. I couldn't make the baby shower (so we had a mini-one with just two couples celebrating the third couple's impending freedom from parasite-inside-womb syndrome), but I didn't want to reschedule the root canal, or take time off work. So I did both! I got a root canal at 7 in the morning, and went to work at 4 pm. Wait, let me go into greater detail:
I signed up for laughing gas on my dentist's recommendation (because she found me squeamish), paid 1600 total (she estimated 800. I'm still trying to figure that one out), and cried my eyes out for hours later. I wasn't crying from pain. I was crying from the horror that is laughing gas. It felt like my body wasn't my own anymore. My arms and legs weren't connected to me, but I could still feel sensations on them. If I kept my eyes closed, I couldn't orient myself. But if I left my eyes open, they hurt, and I felt dizzy and I couldn't make sense of what I was hearing. On top of this terrible mental strain, I got the wonderful sensation of nausea that comes commonly. Then my lovely dentist told me "Wow, you are a lightweight!" because she did the dose at 25%. It was my first time! And if I have any say in the matter, the last time!
So anyway, for hours afterward, hubby carted me around while I cried for this and that "I want coffee...! I want boooooooks! ....*sniffle cry sniffle* I want this painting!" If he left my side I worried I would disappear, or that he would disappear, or that I would lose him or he would lose me, which all amounts to the same thing: I was clingy as hell. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. IF he didn't grip my hand tight enough, I whimpered. IF he let go of my hand (for example, to pay for something), I started to cry. Even I was sick of myself, but I couldn't help it. .....I have the sneaking suspicion that he enjoyed seeing me so dependent and clingy. ;__; I'm just glad he was there. That stuff was terrible. N.e.v.e.r. A.g.a.i.n.
To give you more news of my oral condition: I was fine at work. It barely ached. But low and behold me three days later: The gum beneath where they did a root canal is swollen, blood-shot, tender, seems to have a bit of pus, and aching like a mo.fo. I think it's gingivitis. Hubby thinks it's an infection. Either way, I need to go to the dentist again. I was there today (to pick out the color of my new crown), and when I mentioned the problem, they said to give it a few days. I could scream, except, you know, my mouth hurts (even my jaw). Oh, and I have a cold sore on the same side of my mouth as all of the other problems. Joy. At least I know how to treat a cold sore to get it to go away super fast. (Mine is already on the third stage. There's only one or two more stages after it, and it only started forming last night.)

That's my current problems as I know it. I'm enjoying my job now. I can read! I can walk! I'm hating my mouth now: I can't talk, I can't chew, I can't brush or floss because the pain's too intense. Beyond that, and my endless water works, life is peachy. Especially the sex life. :3 But that's private, and I'm just stating it to gloat. *YAYYYY*

Thankful?

I'm writing this between bouts of Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. It's a really good series. I have less than ten episodes left, and I'm both excited and apprehensive about what's going to happen.

So first I guess I'll start off with what should make me love my job (Even though I don't, and don't think I can....)
-I get to sleep all day, and stay up all night
-I get to drive around aimlessly for hours on end
-People show me respect,
-and also often mistake me for police
-I can do what I want, to a certain degree
-I get to watch people as much as I want without being seen as strange
-I can (apparently) get off work rather easily
-It pays so-so

*guohhh.... Two really good men just died (apparently) in FMAB I wanna cry! But I won't! I'm strong! *

-I get to be left alone for hours at a time, so I can think quietly by myself.
-It's not particularly physically taxing (except for the extreme stress and tension that I can't help accumulating by sitting for hours on end)
-It frees my days up, so I can spend them with my husband (though I end up sleeping most of the time)
-I can wake up hubby when I go to bed, which provides good cuddle time
-If we had kids, I would be able to get them off to school, and hang out with them during the morning before hubby woke up, so we would have pretty damn good coverage over their hi-jinks.
-If I were so inclined, I could make breakfast every morning (I'm not.) and dinner every night (If I could get to sleep at a decent time)
-I never have to think about what to make for lunch anymore.
-I can have breakfast food for my 'dinner' all the time
-I don't have to listen to hubby snore anymore. :P

....You know, the more I write, the more flip-sides I keep seeing to my job. It's amusingly similar to the theory constantly repeated in FMAB. "To get something, you have to give something up" essentially. I'm not at all sure that the body health, and stress I'm going through is equal to the amount of money (minimum wage) and benefits I get from my job. But until I'm pushed too far, I'll stick to it and keep my eyes open for a much better offer. *sigh* Feels disloyal though, and really isn't the kind of thing I normally would do. But the job is lonely and boring, so it can't be helped, right? *sigh*

I'm so glad I found a loving husband that understands me and tolerates my quirks. He's actually developing a few quirks of his own that I absolutely love. He's sweet, but firm, and everything I could have wanted from a husband. Honestly, I don't think I wanted a husband as a kid. Momma always told me to be the one that got away from needing a man, to just maintain a good job, and do what was best for me. *shrug* I think I've done what was best for me by choosing Rebikins, to follow her wishes. He keeps me stable, and makes me happy. ^.^ So I try to make him happy too. And bring a little spontaneity and fun to his life as well. Yay for opposites?

I think I'm a little like pineapples. I've gotten everything I wished for as a child, but with twists. I've gotten to go to Japan, and even live there. I've gotten to major in Japanese, though it has no use in my daily life now (cry). I've been able to find someone COMPLETELY different from my family, but now deal with the stress of retaining the balance between them.  I've gotten away from my family, but now I can't really go back even when I want to (especially to the kids I didn't know they would have). So in a way, I've gotten everything I wanted out of life, but in another way, I've lost quite alot. ^.^ It's the way of the world. But I bet you, because of my choices, I'll continue to get lots of good with the bad. I think my husband plays a large role in this. Because he treats me well, I can trust him to care for me, even when I don't feel worth it. Hmmm... I'm not sure how to put it in a way that's easily understandable, but I guess you could say he's the one that I look up to. lol. Blushing yet, dear?

Whooooo~! I'm on the last episode! It's been an emotional rollercoaster, that's for sure. I really recommend Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. It IS a lot more interesting than the first one, in a different way. It's like reading fanfiction almost. All your favorite characters changing and growing together in a very palatable way. I can see why fans were discontent with the original FMA anime. I like them both, but have to admit, this makes a lot more sense, and is a lot more in-depth. I could do without some of the background music though. It tries to make an already touching scene or already tension-filled scene MORE and all it really does is detract from the situation. It's a little sad, honestly. :P Oh well. Can't win them all, right?

Lets see.... I was talking about hubby, wasn't I? So part of my 'job' is to make him happy, submit him willingly/unwillingly to fun, play with him, and keep him humble. :3 If he has a fault, its that he gets too full of himself, and what he's worth, and begins treating people and things like they matter less. >:3 I keep him from doing that. lol. Sometimes I'm mean to him, but.... I try not to be.

Actually, I'm beginning to get a better hold on my anger lately. (Watch me end up having a huge blow-out soon because I'm writing this. ;___;) I haven't completely lost my temper in days, which is a huge relief to me. The anger that comes with the birth control I'm on (well, for me it comes because my self-control isn't as strong on this BC) scares me, to be honest. It's so sudden, and so strong, that when it catches me off-guard (as it often does) I worry about hurting someone or something. Often its poor hubby that it ends up directed upon, and that's not really fair. He does pretty well with handling it, but he really shouldn't have to. *sigh* I hope my temper isn't this explosive when I'm pregnant. Hubby already calls me a scary woman daily (and means it too). The poor guy would die if I had a child inside and lost my temper. Hopefully this lack of recent 'attacks' is showing some tolerance building back up. I've always prided myself on my self-control, so this lack lately REALLY annoys me, and on that note, probably makes the anger worse. lol. It's a work in progress, I suppose.

And so now you have a super long update to make up for my lack of them lately. :P
My favorite opening:

Because I think it's something you should know.

First, read this:

http://www.danoah.com/2012/11/anything-other-than-straight.html

Next, this is my opinion:

So what if you're bisexual? ;) I hope that doesn't offend you. I don't think it's a big deal. I think people need something to gossip about, some common belief to congregate around, and sadly, sex is a core interest. Even those that aren't truly abhorrent of homo/ bisexuals act as though they are to fit in, and have some common ground with others. Think back to that night you described with your guy friends, when you laughed along so they wouldn't suspect you. I honestly believe that at least one other man in that group was doing the same thing you were. Just trying to get along, and giving consent to an idea because they didn't want to rock the boat or worse, get thrown off that boat. 

I'm bisexual, even if I've never done anything worse than lay in bed together with another woman while thinking about doing things with her. My husband knows and accepts that. Our belief is loyalty trumps sexuality. I can be attracted to whomever I wish, so long as he's the one I touch and love. I point out all the attractive people I see to him, girl or guy, and that lets him know that I'm looking around, but his hand is the only one I'm holding. You're no different for recognizing beauty in all aspects of human appearance. It just means you're more open minded, right? lol.

I'll tell you something I've before now only told a few. My mom got me riled up once when we were having a heart-to-heart. I inadvertently admitted I was bisexual. My mom was extremely shocked (I had only dated males, and was at the time dating my now husband), and eventually managed to convey that she was worried for my soul. This brought on an even more painful topic: I don't believe in god, when all is said and done. We talked it over, and it's rarely been mentioned since, but I'll never forget her telling me that she's scared, because I'm going to hell.

Historically, homosexuality has not only been around, it's been obvious. That leads me to believe that either most of humanity is going to hell for one thing or another, according to Christian beliefs. You (hopefully) aren't in hell yet, so don't sweat it until you're in it, okay?

Anyway, you have my support, whether you find that you're really hetero, homo, or bisexual. Really, you could try to experiment sexually with an attractive male and see if you just like the view, or if you like the lifestyle. Because those are also two different things. Regardless, find beauty all around you. Look at the sky. Locate the bird you can hear. Stop and inspect a flower. Just don't concentrate solely on you, on what others think of you, and on what you may think of yourself. Good luck, and lots of love.

That's all I just wanted it to be out there. 

Ode to the Kitty

Because she is just a constant companion when I am at home. She cries, she throws up, she purrs, she scratches, she kisses (it's awkward), she plays tag (even when we don't want to), hell, all she needs to do is talk, and sometimes I think she only pretends she can't.

She's a sweetie, but I really wanna brag about my dumbass accomplishment. I had the bright idea that hubby and I should strip at the door one day, and have a naked sword fight. It was fun. Neither of us got hurt, amusingly enough. But then I realized kitty needed medicine shoved down her throat via a syringe (She's had worms, and this was supposed to get rid of the last of them). My intelligent thought was to not bother getting dressed, wrap her in a towel and force-feed her her medicine. So I did. ....And I succeeded. Not even her vet expected us to be able to actually give her the medicine (because she's a feral demon cat), but I did. I even made her drink water to wash the rest of the medicine down using another syringe. While naked. I'm still shocked at my audacity, and trying to figure out if I was stupid or confident or both. Hubby watched the whole time, waiting for something to go wrong. Honestly, she nearly clawed me at one point, but I have quick reflexes for a reason. SO we both escaped unscathed. Please tell me: Was that stupid? Do I deserve praise? Because I feel incredibly pleased with myself, and also incredibly shocked at myself.

I also think she must be a true masochist. After I did that to her, she has stayed by my side constantly. She doesn't fight me, and she asks me for food a lot less than she did just the week before. It's scary.

So all of this originated when we took her to the vet. I saw a worm come out of her butt, got the willies, and chose a random vet. We went in, they weighed her (ELEVEN POUNDS ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!?!), checked her teeth (looking good, even though she throws up a lot), guessed her age (around 6 years old), and gave her medicine (The VET gave it to her. And I didn't have to help. Last time two assistants couldn't get it down her throat, but this vet succeeded.... eventually). The only thing is that there was a required second dose that they gave us for free because they didn't expect us to be able to do it. They highly recommended we bring her in to get the medicine done when we failed. BUT I SUCCEEDED~~~~~!
Anyway.... My kitty should be worm free shortly, and I will replace her litter completely so she can 'start new'. I also am seriously thinking of getting her some canned cat food because she has taken to literally jumping and grabbing my hand if I ignore her for too long while I'm making something in the kitchen. She doesn't really use her claws, but it's still a little terrifying to feel them slide down your hand on the front AND the back. *sparkly eyes* She clasps my hand in both of hers begging for food!! It's amazing!!

Phew. Other updates that I feel pale in comparison to my adorable kitty:
I now have contacts and am getting used to putting them in and taking them out (TOUCHING EYEBALLS EYAAAAH).
Hubby and I made our Thanksgiving feast on a day when neither of us felt like eating....But the food was still good (when we eventually ate it).
Hubby got his first massage! ...by a man. Poor hubby. The guy was skilled but he treated the two of us very differently. *tilts head* It was interesting to compare notes.
Never get a sashimi salad if you can't handle spicy food. It wasn't what I expected, though it was delicious. And surprisingly, Hubby likes green tea ice cream.

I wouldn't mind seeing "The Collection"... I think my hate of scary movies is fading.

Hmmm.... I'm sure there's other things I want to say, but I can't think of them, so I'll stop here.


This song is hilarious, and catchy. Listen for "That magic in your pants is making me blush. Fo Sho." I always die laughing.

Updates in November

Hubby is rubbing my foot for me, since it's been hurting without any reason that I can remember. He's pretty good for a beginner. ^.^

I had lots of things I wanted to blog about, but I don't have much time, and my mind goes blank when I finally sit down to write a post. Sorry.... I guess I'll do some news.

Hubby and I got a crockpot and a blender! Yay! They're not bad. :3 Me likey. I made a chicken in it on Monday, when we made dinner for my student and her husband.

I taught her today, actually. We talked about being grateful to each other (she gives me treats as payment), and when I used the white board for the first time, she said "Wow, so you really are a teacher!" I was bemused because I've been teaching for years, but it was only validated once I used a board....

We went to a haunted house on Saturday, and though we got there around 7, we didn't get in the house until 8 30. I had to be home to get ready for work by 9:15, so we kind of panicked our way through a lot of the house. It wasn't nearly as fun when we were worried about getting out in time. The monsters wouldn't help us out, which put on this added pressure, and by the end of it, hubby was in such a hurry to get out that he didn't wait for me, and pushed me forward. Of course that means I fell over, and we were pretty unhappy with each other. He was all "Why'd you fall over?" and I was all "Why'd you push me?? I obviously stopped for a reason!" (Answer: I felt a ledge and was trying to see if it was safe to just step over)

We've gotten even more lovey-dovey than we used to be, and it's a little embarrassing, but I like knowing he's loving me. He calls me cute way too often, and at really weird times. Often he says I'm cute when I'm complaining about something.

Nowadays I never wanna go to work. I think my body even protests, cause I start feeling sick when I realize I have to go to work. I get hit on a LOT more than I would expect a security officer to. I sit in a car for ten hours, and get attitude from the clients if I contact them without a good reason, but they contact me for no good reasons sometimes. Of course once I'm there I usually feel alright, unless someone's smoked in the car or something. The cars really smell wrong to me a lot, which doesn't help my stomach. The work is easy, but tedious, and I don't know that I can do my best at it. I've drifted off a few times, and that makes me feel very ashamed and unprepared to do my work. Momma said I just need to get more sleep, but that's hard when they do yard work every day through out the day, when I'm trying to sleep. My body also automatically wakes up after six hours, and I need more than that to make it through the night.

I made a chocolate swirl cheesecake for our couple-get-together on Monday. It was pretty good, but the irony amused me. The lactose-intolerant one made a dairy dessert. We both liked it, and actually finished it off last night (It's only Wednesday now).

That reminds me. Often while I'm at work, I find myself thinking about fate, karma, god, and irony. I'm not sure I believe in fate. I may believe in karma (if only to keep thoughts of revenge in check), and while I don't at all believe in god, I absolutely believe in irony. I know, you're probably thinking that irony isn't on par with the other terms and ideas, but really, I think it is. It's like Murphy's Law, except you can predict it. Well, you can predict it so long as you only think your predictions. Anything you SAY will be subject to the laws of irony. For example: "I'm not going to make a mistake with this cake! I've made it tons of times." Of course, that will be the time you make some phenomenal error, like forgetting to put in the eggs. (Actually, I've done that.) But if you say "I'm not sure how well I'm gonna do. I've only made this a few times...." it should turn out quite delicious. I say again: irony. Examine your lives, see the truth! Irony rules us! *cough cough* Anyway....

I've gotten to liking this song quite a bit. I hope you like classical music.


It makes me think I should practice my flute some time, but I don't want to bother the neighbors. I also don't want to go out of my way to practice, because it's just bothersome. Sad isn't it, for someone who was once First Chair in their band? Ah well, that's life.

I need to start getting ready for work now. Maybe I'll remember what I want to blog about some time when I have the time to spare. I never seem to get around to it on my 'days' off. :P Til then,

~Runa

Public Blog

Hey Everyone!

This is HILARIOUS!!!
http://youtu.be/rJ8CvfB1tJg

I seem to get a lot of comments sprinkled in by people I don't know in real life. Sometimes it's just a nice comment, and other times its people trying to promote their own blog. I don't mind either way, but I was wondering why, and I think I get it. Out of our circle of blogs, mine is the only public one. I guess I should just be interested in the types of people that view it. *smiles*

Hubby and I went on a date last night. ^v^ It was awesome! When he woke me up, he said there were two viable options, and I could pick between them. Panera Bread + Mystery Location + Movie, or Carraba's + Mystery Location + Movie, with tiny differences between the two. I chose Panera because I haven't been there in forever, and wanted their Cheddar Broccoli Soup, plus I thought that would be cheaper, and allow more time at the mystery location (which turned out to be a book store). It was pretty good, though the cashier decided my sandwich on his own, and I didn't really like what he picked (because I'm not a turkey fan). Then we passed the Container Store (I've wanted to go since we moved here, and never really knew where it was, and I knew hubby wouldn't be interested, but my OCD heart stutters when I see it. It must be like heaven.....<3 and="and" didn="didn" go="go" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" t="t" there.="there.">We went to a Bookstore! Where I found some books I wanted, but decided that if the store was closed after our movie, I wasn't meant to have them, and if it was open, I was. It was open. I got books! :3
The movie we saw was Argo. It wasn't a bad movie, but I'd like Caitikins to see it! There was so much blatant sexism that my jaw dropped! It was set in the 70s, so its understandable, but still.... Another movie we considered was Cloud Atlas, but the summary hubby read to me was boring and sounded like a historical documentary, so I said no. I regret that now, because we saw a preview for it and it looked really really good. A love story across the ages... heh.
Then we went home and cuddled together. It was so cold in the house cause we didn't turn on the heater, so as I turned it on, I ran from the bed my husband was in to the bed that's bigger and warmer. When he found me he tried to get me out of the bed, uncovering me, and tickling me, but I was adamant! And then I was asleep.... Hubby got out of bed for a while, and I think he was studying while eating pie, but I'm not sure cause I wasn't getting up without a good reason!
That good reason turned out to be the bathroom.... I thought for sure I woke him when I left, but he startled awake when I came back and asked where I'd gone. I laughed and didn't tell him. He's so cute!:3

Random thought: Everyone is an actor/actress. Even when you're acting natural, you generally make the decision to act in a way. When you act without thinking, it's considered childish, or unrefined right? I usually choose to act a certain way, so when I do something instinctively it startles me and I get embarrassed. I've caught myself pouting at stoplights, for instance and checking to make sure no one saw me. lol.

On the topic of work, I have a job now! I'm a Security Guard, and I always work the graveyard shift. (X.x);; That means my sleep schedule is constantly confused. That's why sleeping last night was such a bad idea, but I couldn't help it. It was so comfy, and hubby was so warm, and it just.... ahhhh it felt so good to lay with him, since we never get to sleep at the same time anymore. True, I spent most of it in a half-awake/half-asleep haze of dreaming, but it's bliss to be able to lay with a loved one and just BE there. Hap-py! <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
This video isn't particularly related to my life, I just think it suits the series rather well, and I like the clear storyboard. Plus, the song is sweet.
http://youtu.be/EvDiY1HmziY

Quote of the Month:
Love isn't being unable to live without the other, it's looking at life with them and thinking "Wow, life is infinitely better with them in my life!" than without. ~Jme