Sleep and eat and hurt and sleep and eat and hurt and.....

I have been falling asleep SO much. It's quite frustrating. I don't even mean to fall asleep; I just get rather tired, and close my eyes for a few minutes, and the next thing I know, I'm dreaming. It's kinda nice to be able to sleep so much, but it's also worrying. I don't really have control over it, so sometimes I'll even fall asleep in the midst of trying to eat. Thankfully I have enough time to move things out of my way before I drift off, but it's still difficult.

Speaking of food: The first two days I stuck to soup and crackers and didn't really have any issues, but then the nausea started roiling in and upsetting me. So now I've been avoiding eating unless I absolutely have to (as in, super hungry) or unless I'm about to take medicine (then I force myself to eat a bit of food). One time, I wasn't feeling well so I laid down for a nap while Hubbikins went to buy me more soup. I woke up with my mouth hanging open, and a growl coming all the way from my belly out of my mouth. I was even hungry in my dream. It can be pretty funny.

Hubbikins has been trying to help take care of me, and he certainly does everything I ask of him, it's just hard to ask sometimes. "Help me get to the toilet" or "Fix me some water please" is fine in small doses, but all day, every day just makes me feel like a lazy bum. Other times, like the time I got stuck on the toilet and couldn't get up without him coming to help me, or the time I got mad and frustrated and took a shower by myself (which resulted in incredible exhaustion and weakness) make me cringe just to think of asking for help, never mind receiving it.

I've had good days and bad days with my leg. On good days I can get around pretty well, the leg is fairly mobile, and it doesn't hurt too much, so I can do things for myself. On bad days, I can't even lift my leg by myself, let alone try to walk, it feels like my kneecap is trying to fall out of my leg and take my ligaments with it, and just getting to the bathroom is such a trial that I'm in tears by the time I accomplish it. Also? Using the toilet while keeping one leg completely straight the whole time is painful and difficult. That's why I don't like wearing my brace to use it. If I don't have the brace on, it's not nearly so difficult.

I can feel nerve endings starting to come back, and they enjoy stinging me and letting me know they're alive. Theoretically we can take the bandages off today, but I wanna wait until tomorrow at least. I'm not sure how to care for the leg with the dressings gone. Hubbikin's way of wrapping my leg is so loose and cute. I know how to do it, but sometimes sitting up and wrapping my leg when I can't bend it becomes a little more difficult than I can manage.

Oof. I'm getting sleepy again. I fell asleep watching an anime movie with hubby on Saturday, so I've avoided watching things because I think it's easier for me to fall asleep then than when I'm trying to read something. Though I do that plenty as well. Sorry. I get the feeling my thoughts of random and confused, but I can't clear my head very well.

I can finally sleep on my sides again! I've been sleeping on my back most of the week, but it's not comfortable and it makes me feel like a soldier or something. Though the sides get tired pretty easily, and the moving on and off of them is extremely difficult. I've woken hubby up a lot at night just trying to get comfortable, and that sucks for him.

Starting tomorrow he'll be working full-time again, so I'm gonna be left to my own devices, and I hope I'm ready for that. At worst, I'll lose a little weight because I'm too lazy to get up and get some food. :D At best, I'll be able to handle the moving around better.

He's waiting to watch something with me, so I'm gonna go now. Love ya'll, and hope this was somewhat informative. Jya ne~!