Content, or Discontent

Have you ever been so content that you fear it's ending? Like, you know you can't be that happy for very long, that there's definitely gonna be something that makes it go wrong? That's me. Everytime I get too close to someone, or something(i think cats count as someone, but to be safe...), I begin to get nervous, I know that somehow, it's about it end. And it does. I was laying here with Maya, and all of a sudden, I get the nervous feeling. I think about why I feel that way, and realize, I'm almost certain there's no way she'll stay with me til morning. When I relax and drift into unconsciousness, I just know she'll leave me. So I savor every moment, every content feeling, every instant of love, of feeling loved, of loving. And I wait for it to end. I dont know if it's a side effect of my inferiority complex from so long ago, but I feel like such a feeling of bliss and comfort cant last, not for my sake. I want others to have that feeling forever, they deserve it. I will strive my hardest to become worthy of it. I just don't know what would make one person worthy and another not. Is it good grades? Understanding material? Compassion? Money? What makes one worthy of love?

Soulmates

Do you believe there's someone somewhere that can only belong to you, and you can only belong to them? I don't think it's limited to just two people. I bet there's types of people that are 100% compatable with you, and vise versa, and that ....darn...i lost my train of thought. I might take this up later. It was the result of an interesting convo with E.

Also, I think my theme song would be "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. Just a continuation of a "Question of the Day" that I feel I answered without enough forethought.

Whoo....Masochists.

...Let's see...You seek pain, and you are fascinated by others that receive the pain. You feel that someone you've just hurt 'hog[s] it all to herself'...Yup, that matches my idea of a masochist.

That's all I've got today folks. ^///^ I slept all day, felt sick when I got up, and don't have any intention of doing anything worthwhile for the remainder of my waking hours.

I also made breakfast for my bf and his parents, and they got to see my house. I'm really nervous about that and want to hear from him what their impressions were, but I haven't really been able to ask yet because he's been in a car with them every time I've spoken with him so far. Hopefully tomorrow he'll tell me. And not be vague. Mom feels bad for not getting up and greeting them herself, but she knows that at least one of them doesn't like her, and didn't want to make it any more awkward than it already was. Yays.

Merry Chrismahanikwanza

To not offend anyone. Yes, I was told that. In a card. And found it adorable.

Speaking of adorable, my kitty is so cute, I can barely stop myself from squeezing and hugging and loving on her. >.< Squeee

I find possessive/jealousy to be soooo cute (to a point)!!!
Maya wanted attention tonight, so she kept rubbing herself against my face, chest, arms, and hands. Then she curled up like I was curled up (slightly not, but I'll ignore that and prance in daydreams of love and kitties-Maya in particular) and continued to be adorable. Everytime I reached for the compie (cause I was typing to a freind) she'd shift her position like saying "Okay, that pose didn't work, lets try this one to lure her away." Eventually she gave up, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, and didn't regret not giving her continual attention. I did. She was so cute....but the lure of technology is strong in me. ....well, not as strong as most, but still strong.

Chay was a TOTAL ASS all day. He was cocky, completely immature, overly competitive, and threw hissy fits when I beat him at games. It's no wonder the joy of the game left me and I quit putting much effort in to it near the end. I'm not trying to lessen the worth of his wins against me, but seriously...he's such a bad player....I know I was competitive, but I still said "Good game" even if I didn't mean it. And if a GAME SYSTEM lets you do the move, and you didn't put in a cheat code, IT IS NOT CHEATING!!!!!! Phew. that was my rant about that.

The presents I recieved were really good. I appreciated them. I really just wanted contacts though....*sigh* But, at least Mom tried to get them for me. You need a prescription to fit them for your eyes, apparently. I understand, I do, I just really had my heart set on them. Oh well. I did get the socks I wanted though. I got alot of Chocolate too.....If I didn't know better, I'd think they were trying to make me gain the pounds I've lost recently. ....Their evil plot worked, too!!! I've eaten so much chocolate the past few days.....-_-....I'm gonna be playing our new Wii game's fit and active games as much as possible until I go back home.

On a happy note, my bf is coming tomorrow/today!!! I finished mopping, but now I wanna clean my room 'cause bf wants to see it. >.< Nooooo.

Quote of the Day: "Did you just say something blasphemous?" - "..?..I said there may be too much cheese in this mac'n'cheese." - *GASP* - "That's BLASPHEMOUS!!!"

....Lame, but amusing to me.....

Kitty love

I'm so relieved!! This is what happened:

Innocently rubbing Maya, my hand brushes across something bulgy between her shoulder blades. For a moment, I just sit there. Then chills run along my arms and back, and I know. It's a tick. I kiss her on the forehead, murmuring "Good girl, Maya, good..." and search her fur, trying to see it. The sickly white bulge, with brown legs sends chills anew throughout my body. I hate ticks....

I had been talking with E online, and I sent him an IM, "What do I doooo? She's got a tick!!!" His reply? "Take some rubbing alcohol and tweezers, fill a cap with alcohol, and put the tick in it. Make it pay for what it's done."

I search out tweezers, call Maya into the bathroom, and shut the door. Maya turns on her back, playing with the doors, as is her usual routine with shut doors. I fill the cap, and sit down on the floor with Maya. She guilelessly comes and rubs along me. Taking the tweezers and our relationship in my hand, I start my search for all horrid creatures on my dear love. She doesn't like it, but she never stops purring, which confuses me. I talk to her, hoping she'll not panic. She then laid down and moved this way and that, as I need her to. The only times I get attacked are when I'm messing with her underarms, and even then there's no attacks if I hold her. Getting all ticks and bugs off, I hold her, telling her what a good job she's done, how I'm proud. Then I open the door, and set her down, expecting her to run from me. I softly tell her "I love you, you did a good job Maya." and I turn away. I start to attack the huge tick that dared attack my Maya.

How COULD you attack her? This is what you get for hurting my Maya! Take this! HA! I bet that would hurt if you were still alive! What's with your color? You look diseased! Gross! You don't deserve Maya's blood!

I hear Maya's bell, and turn. She's settled down beside the door, patiently waiting for me. Tears spring to my eyes. I thought for sure she'd hate me for putting her through that. I go to return the tweezers to my mother, and tell her about it. "It's because she trusts you." I'm so incredibly relieved that Maya still likes me. I make my way back to my room, and call for her. Only once though, since I don't want to make her come if she doesn't want to. Then I thank E for his advice. As I'm talking to E, Maya springs to the bed and rubs on me, telling me she wants attention. I hurry a quick "by by" to E, and close my laptop.

I scratch along Maya's body, all over, everywhere she wants me to. She purrs and murmurs, and eventually just lays still, in bliss. She was so adorable, all sprawled out like that. After awhile, I get some water, we return to bed, and we fall asleep with her curled up beside my head.

>.<>.<

This day...

1.Got up at 10, after going to bed past 4
2.Was late meeting Sarah, because Mom had to talk to Papa for too long.
3.Saw Dark Knight for the third time, and ate popcorn that made me sick and left a butter stain on my pants.
4.Went to eat at AppleBees after looking at a Pet Store for Kitty Stockings and failing.
5.Went back with S. to her house where I chatted with her dad and her while my mom came to get me
6.Got $90 dollars from them in Gift Cards for the Holidays. -_-...I feel wrong about it....
7.Got a happy meal for Chay on the way home
8.Talked to C on the way home, decided we'd prolly meet up next week.
9.K called me while I was at home moving things, and wants to meet up with me as well.
10.Got my room cleaned up, but was watching a movie mom interrupted to tell me we're having CHILLI instead of a REAL dinner for Christmas. SHE PROMISED ME HAAAAM
11.Talked to my love.-Happiness
12.Was made to fold laundry when Mom volunteered to do the laundry. She proceeded to dis me to Ninny about my incompetence. ME! When I was totally okay doing my own laundry!!!
13.Will be able to meet up with bf after Christmas. It'll be the first time ever that we can meet during a break from school. I'm nervous, excited, and happy. Worried about the state of my house and who'll be here when they come, but still....it'll be worth it, I'm sure~!
14.Had to cook Mom and Ninny their dinner because they weren't willing to do it themselves.
15.Have decided that DDR will be a stress relief, and needs to be done daily.
16.Talked with TJ, and we're meeting on Christmas Eve. Someone save me from all the peeps I'm meeting up with....
17.Pissed Mom off about her having to run to do things. (Didn't ever even mention that K wanted to meet up too.
18.I want her to stop being mean to me!!!!

Yeah, that's my day. *sigh*

Quote of the Day: "It's not working. Let's KILL IT!!"-"Hey! I just STARTED begging."

Kitty Cats.....Dates....No Monies.....

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=572
Yeah...life's too busy for me to type much right now. Sorry. Basically though:
-Every night I've had to wrap tons of gifts that aren't mine,
-Every Day I've had to clean houses that aren't mine,
-I can't seem to get up with anybody but S, .....S is good.
-BF is taking another road trip. I don't know why they can't seem to calm down. But I guess they get bored
-New fanfiction is lacking
-A few chapters of some of my manga have come in, me likey
-I've run out of money.....*cry*

Quote of the Day: "Your little kitty more or less gets to have you for a pet.....your cat gets to have way too much fun with you...."

Siblings are great because you can:

: you can cuddle

: and blame them for things you've done

: and talk

: and call them at 4 in the morning

: and be called at 4 in the morning

: and shower together

: and wash each other's backs

: and go in the emergency room with them

: and stay overnight in the hospital with them

: and raise their children

: and turn their kids against them in the evilist ways possible

: and use them to get out of trouble

and blackmail them into getting you good Christmas gifts

: or massages

: massages are ALWAYS good

: unless they violate you

: by squeezing your boobs

: and calling you "Tig Old Bitties"

: then you have to violate them

: and take incriminating pictures

: and put strange lingerie in their laundry

: so they think their boy is cheating on them

: and laugh your ass off

: ....

You didn't hear that from me

Is this normal?

It seems my cat has taken to my hair.....Two nights in a row she's immersed herself in it, nibbling and stroking and scratching at it....Yesterday she bit my neck, and I got chills...pleasurable ones...Tonight she bit my ear....I got those chills again....o.O What's wrong with me?

Quote of the Day: "When the cat starts to follow you to the bathroom regularly, and begins to look like it might want to investigate your private areas while you're on the toilet...you might be getting too close to each other."

I need a life.

Yo~!
Today, I got up earrrrrly, and went out to find a baby book for my soon-to-arrive nephew. But before that, sis and I went to eat. We were gonna eat at a proper Japanese restaurant but we couldn't find one that opened before 4. So we ate at Logan's Roadhouse. Which was really yummy. Then we went to the book store, found a baby book that she was dead-set on, and I went for my manga addiction. We also saw some light saber swords, so I picked up two, one for Chay for Christmas, one for me to fight him with. We're ringing up, I glance at the price thing, see the number $134....something, and think, "Okay, that's not too bad." Then my sister says, "Those things are a hundred EACH??" and I turn and say, "No they're not, don't worry like that." but the cashier lady says, "Yes, they are." I swing around, like "ARE YOU FU**ING SERIOUS???" and ask her to take them off. Then we go to Wally World to find him a Christmas gift. I get him some magic sand castle building stuff, and I get the Dark Knight Soundtrack, and snag him a shirt as well. When we get home, we wrap gifts, and show mom the baby book. Chris shows her obstinant side, and claims she isn't doing anything to the book til the baby is born. *shrug* No biggie. Mom gives me bell earrings and a bell scrunchy for my hair. (It was actually a pet collar that I put on our kitty and made her look so funny, like a lion) Then I put my hair up, watched Dark Knight with everyone, talked with bf, and then redesigned a good portion of mom's cabinets. I'm more than halfway through now. I've been reading lately, I wanna find funny stories to read. I need to laugh more....I'm tired, I get to look at cars I can't buy yet tomorrow. And maybe deal with my cousin at the mall. Which shouldn't be too bad, but there isn't much to do at the mall. blurf.

Quote of the Day: ""If you love me, the I'm all yours," he whispered against her lips, eyes locking with hers. "And you're mine." he finished possessively."

Do you ever...

Sit there and hold your own hands and realize they're throbbing? Then look down and realize that you can see them throb? Pretty cool. Exam was made to be easy, but it was still hard for me.

I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late~!

Exam Exam~! I have an exam tomorrow, so this'll be short.
1. Swam -twice
2. Ate Breakfast -yum
3. Sauna -ahhhhhh, so guuuuuud
4. Cleaned my entire portion of the room, and even a bit of hers -clean~! HAPPY!
5. Studied
6. Watched music videos -was bored
7. Showered -seriously needed it, my hair was stiff from the chlorine
8. Ate a corndog and fries for dinner with Z and his roomate J
9. Talked to sissie
10. Planned out my course of action for tomorrow
11. AM NOW GOING TO BED

Quote of the Day: The early bird catches the worm

Whoo....Bones

Whew. I was stretching a little while waiting for the results of my IQ test after staying up all night, and was feeling along my body for amusement purposes. (Yes, weird, but you know you'd do it too if you stretched and wanted to know how it looked without taking a picture or having a mirror handy) I could really feel my hips. Like, the bones. I don't wanna be a skeleton....it doesn't feel nice to feel just bones. That's why I prefer being bigger than average to being skinny and small. But...at the same time, it wasn't unpleasant, and it isn't like I'll ever be a tiny woman. My bones aren't that small. Though I should stop skipping meals just cause I don't have anyone to eat with. And cause its cold out. And I like running around in a sports bra and thin skimpy pants all alone in my room. ....Yeah....I need more of a life than this. I get a headache when I don't sleep. It's been awhile since I completely forsook sleep, so I'd forgotten the symptoms of it. Tummy hurting, heartburn, hunger, headache. So sad....Sleep would make it all better, but I don't wanna sleep because then I won't be able to get up tomorrow morning for my exam!! I have to go to bed super early tonight though so I can get up in time. And I wanna finish this sample exam, but if I ask for help, isn't that admitting I'm gonna get a bad grade, since I can't do this one by myself?? No, I should think positive! "Life is an open-book test." I have to remember that. Not that I'd think of making my exam exclusively open-book for myself or anything. I need a calculator!! Mine isn't suitable....Darnit...If I have to test without a calculator, I feel like I'll be at a serious disadvantage....I can't do square-roots in my head after all! I can ask Z if he has one I can borrow... but if not, I'm stuck. I also am not sure where exactly my test is at....I should really figure that out, huh? ^_^ I'll prolly go swimming later this afternoon, and I still have to meet up and study, and need to eat real food, and defrost my fridge, but first I have to get all the stuff out of it. THAT's gonna be fun. A guy I talked to in a sauna at our gym once told me how he sometimes goes between the sauna and pool and how it feels really refreshing, so if the non-sleep will stop making me feel nauseous I'll probably try that. Gaaah, why do I always end up getting freezing cold after a little while? I'm even wearing long sleeves right now! Oops, I haven't worn an earring in my cartilage piercing for over a week now...That can't be good. Darn....I'm gonna go find that pure gold earring now....See ya peeps~!
PS-Are my posts too long?

Quote of the Day: "You need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head, which means not at all!"

As bf would say "Chillaxin'."

A day spent with people I like, doing what I like, and when I like it. Yeah, it's been relaxing. A little sleepy...okay, it's 4 am, I'm drop dead tired, but I have no plans for the weekend really, so I can do what I want. Freedom is amazing.

Quote of the Day: “Someone like you calling me a genius is like the pope calling Satan religious.”

Stress is enough to make me cry....and for that I will curse it my entire life

Today....interesting. I've found that I don't really like my sister too much when I think she's making excuses for her behavior, but neither do I like it when she says it's all her fault. I guess my feeling is simply that she does the 'all my fault' thing for two reasons, neither of which is a suitable reason. 1.She wants sympathy, someone to tell her 'it's not all your fault' or 'I understand, don't worry about it, we all would have done it.' or 2. She's just saying it to appease me.
I'm not an omnipotent person, but even I can tell that she isn't sincere when she sounds her sincerest. She's also not sorry when she sounds her sorriest. So I think it's best if I don't scold her but to keep from scolding her i have to keep my distance from her. I can't support what she chooses for herself and her daughter, and one day I may take her daughter away from her. I may as well let her have what she's got now. That sounds tyrannical, but I can't really trust her to keep my baby safe as long as she's always thinking of herself before her daughter. I'm scared to death that as my baby grows and gets older and gets smarter, her mother will think she needs less care, less love, and shove responsibilities or negligence on her.
On a less heavy note, bf and I had fun tonight. Not today, because we fought today, but we're trying to work on that. Tonight was fun though. We watched an idiotic movie, during which I provided him a means to escape at times, but I didn't think the movie was that bad. It was amusing if I thought of it in a more .....um.....artistic and idealistic sense than what we actually saw. ....Yeah.....it was pretty bad.....bf was itching to leave. I hate to leave a movie before it's finished though, because I'll always wonder about the loose ends.
I think my Spanish exam was meant to butcher me. I think it deliberately grabbed me, scratched out my eyes, drove nails into my head with a hammer, and then laughed as it poked all the sensitive spots on my body. Yeah....that gives about the right feeling. I hate when I study for something and I do just as well, if not worse than I would have done if I didn't study. It makes my attempt to study look stupid. Oh well.
That's really been the jist of my day. Oh, well I started, but I don't think that's too big a deal. Just really ironic.

Quote of the Day: "If humans could live their lives with no attachment to another, would that become heaven or hell?"

I am Woman

I've been noticing lately....I'm becoming a "Woman". It would likely seem obvious to others around me that I'm changing bit by bit into the form that I was always meant to become, but it surprises me. I mean, my body's changing. Already it's different than it was even 2 weeks ago. If I put serious effort into it, I could shape it however I want to. I can become anything I want to. And it scares me. What I become is my choice. I've always known that, but to see the reality of it, to watch it form, is thrilling and terrifying. My boyfreind (no offense dear) hasn't become a man yet. He hasn't progressed to his final few stages before he's recognized as one in all shapes and forms yet. And I'm getting to those stages. My mind is changing, my hormones are stabilizing (or going crazy weird) and my awareness is shifting. I appreciate so much that no one else notices, and I'm so delighted when someone else notices things that I notice without my interference. It puts us, however briefly, on the same wave-length, the same level. I can feel that connection to a stranger that is so comforting to me. I should explain that, shouldn't I? My thought in that way is, if I can commiserate with a stranger, I'm obviously normal in some capacity. That's always been my standard for judgment. Because people that get to know me begin to classify me as one thing or another. I've always felt like that was a slap in my face. But to try to correct them would be to admit that someone is wrong, or that their opinion is more important. It's too troublesome for the most part to me. I tried too hard for too long to cater to their ideas or fit in. I want to be me. So back to me (because I'm self-absorbed). I'm changing, and I can feel it. The person I choose to be, who will watch over me and pat my head or gently scold me? Who will keep me in line? Because I only have my point of view to begin with, and to look from someone else's point of view is difficult, and you need to realize that your view isn't omnipotent before you look from someone else's view. Gosh, I don't know if I'm making sense. Basically, I'm terrified I'll turn myself into someone that is unable to realize when they're wrong, or be unable to step back and see through someone else's eyes. I hope that by worrying about it, it's proof that I won't become that person, but I don't feel I can depend on that. Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? What type of people do I want to surround myself with? Who do I want to keep near me for the rest of my life? How do I go about making these decisions? There's no assurances in life. So is it worth it to worry? That's not worth answering, because it's definitely worth it to worry. If it makes me a better person, it will ALWAYS be worth it. I won't give up. I may lose the determination I feel now, but that doesn't mean it won't be waiting for me, deep inside, waiting for my cry for strength. I should build up my mental and physical abilities. That's gonna be really difficult for me. My self-control, while iron-clad at times, has been snapping and breaking so easily lately that it's very alarming. I wish I had someone to strive for the same thing together with me. I'd ask my bf, but I don't think he has the drive and determination and the deep thoughts that I'm having now to make him a good partner for this. My freind M would be a great partner for this, but she's taken a year off of school. *sigh*
List of traits I admire and want to possess:
-Kind
-Insightful
-Dependable
-Respectful
-Strong
-Attractive
-Gentle
-Open-minded
-Mature, but immature when I CHOOSE to be
-Strong-willed


I'll do my best!

Quote of the Day: "I don't like it when things are too big in my mouth."(referring to ice) "That's what SHE said!"

This morning....is not promising.....

Okay, first, my insomnia kicked in again.
Second, I woke up with some strange tickle in my nose that hurt and made me cry. At 7-50ish
Third, I'd already had to get up at 7 for a few minutes.
Fourth, At 8-30ish, Housing came to finally fix our shower. Yaaaaaaays.......
*Drops from lack of sleep*
*regains consciousness briefly*
*scrambles to get some clothes on as roomie unlocks the door (scared her bf will be with her)*
*doesn't make it, but it doesn't matter, he's not there*
*"Gets up" and "gets ready" for exam on Japanese*
*Goes to eat breakfast*
*Gets the smack scared our of her by her club's adviser on accident*
*Takes exam*
*Makes mistakes that are 'careless' but follows instructions*
*wastes some time*
*Meets up with bf to eat*
*ends up 'eating' with a few of her boys and bf*
*goes to Dunkin' and orders brownies for her family for when she goes home*
*also orders coooofffffffeeeeeee*
*nearly passes out from the caffeine intake*->Caffeine makes sweeepeeey
-Go to "eat" dinner, eat two things
-Go to "study," end up helping with a NRHH program....*cry*
-Get some studying done, start to head out to the program I helped prepare
-Get an unexpected phone call from bf, saying he finished his test
-Decide not to meet because he's worried about his test tomorrow
-Call sis back, find out:
1.She needed to know where the cottonballs are.....
2.I got lectured by mom for not going to see a super-busy secretary
3.Sis told mom about my emergency call at 4:30 last night, and mom was worried about me
4.Sis-Cin gave my neice her presents for her birthday(which is TODAY NOW!) AND HER CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
5.Told mom I would call Sis-Cin about it.
6.Didn't do #5
7.Will do #5 tomorrow. (Will say same thing tomorrow, more than likely)
-Go to program, enjoy it, eat too many sweets, MY TEAM WON
-Go home in the fog
-Study some more
-Take a shower, the water temp still fluctuates radically *CRY*
-Sit around waiting to get sleepy
-Get a headache from sleepiness
-Type up new blog because heavy thoughts have penetrated my skull
-Consider writing another blog, but feel it wouldn't be good for any poor readers
-Crawl in bed

Quote of the Day: "Sleep is what sleepers do best. Become a sleeper. Sleep. It's the best!"

Yara Yara

Today was oddly annoying, but refreshing....
Lowpoints:
1. Got mad at bf because he refuses to give answers to simple questions without questioning the questions.
2. Got up and studied when I didn't really need to.
3. Didn't get to nap.
4. Had to force myself to eat because hunger is a foreign idea lately.
5. Found out my dues for college are due TOMORROW
6. Got a mean, disheartening letter from Stepdad about #5....It's understandable, but....
7. May lose my classes because I honestly don't have the money in my account right now....
8. My room persists in smelling strange
9. Met and talked with V. a girl I was scarred by, but also scarred
10. My shower water ranged from ice-cold(going numb it's so cold) to ahhhhh the heat is greeaaat-hot. But mostly stayed cold.
11. Ran into a chair and hurt myself
12. My ankle has that painful itchy feel that says I've injured it somehow
13. My bf didn't understand why I eventually blew up.-> If you can never ask a question without getting a question back, what's the point in talking to them? You're not gonna get an answer.
14. I got lectured by mom....
15. I have insomnia again tonight

Highpoints:
1. I was told I have a gorgeous body
2. I was also told that I have a soothing presence
3. I have lotioned my body very well, and it feels good
4. I got a good amount of studying done
5. I got to hang out with freinds
6. Watched anime
7. Talked with B. an old freind
8. Made plans for winter break
9. Got some exercise
10. ^///^ Felt pretty
11. Talked on the phone with S, my old roomie (one of my favorite ppl)
12. Was invited on a cruise free-of-charge this summer for a week or so
13. Watched House
14. Survived my talk with V

Overall, I guess my day was pretty good. I was also told "It seems like you've been in what is commonly called a "Form" today...." meaning I've been pessimistic, bossy, and moody. But to contrast that, I was asked, "What would it take to prove that you're a gorgeous/beautiful/attractive woman/person?" and I couldn't come up with an answer. I'll prolly be thinking on that for a few days.

Quote of the Day: "If you don't want to kiss him, just lick somewhere close to where blood flows." Haaaa, that's interesting.

Make-up for yesterday

Yesterday:
Kicked boyfreind out of room at 12ish,
Took a shower
T_T Read manga when I shouldn't have
Went to karaoke
Studied, fell asleep, woke up, studied again,
Ate food....felt sick....almost always do....
Slept til 5 pm! Heehee~!

Absolute Darkness is at the same time Absolute Light

Blurggg. Today was interesting. Fun at times, which is good, because I've been overly bored lately, but still weird. T__T;; I lost my mind for a while and let instinct take over. I spent nearly 200 dollars on gifts (40 of it was my own loves). My boyfreind has officially claimed books to be his rivals. Pickles and dark chocolate.....yeah, they don't go so well together. I'm squeaky-clean~! Sorta. I have an awesome quote for today.

Quote of the Day: "A purely evil soul cannot be controlled by anyone. All living things are evil in some way. Down the long path of destruction, of death...what awaits at the end is Light...and at the same time, Darkness."

Attempt

I'm just gonna post a song that semi-suits my feelings, because I'm not as adept at finding suitable songs as he is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN_4jnZcbew

White Elephant was the highlight of my day

Today was interesting. I got up, went to take my exam, and the teach was late. That wasn't so bad, but then she gives us the exam, and I freak out with my OCDness kicking in. SOOOO Frustrating!! I couldn't believe how badly it threw me. There was these questions, and how they were written, it didn't line up well AT ALL! I'm getting irritated thinking about it. Well, I freak out, and I can't concentrate on the question, just the alignment. I wasted soooo much time worrying about that.
Then afterward, I finished too early, and ended up waiting 20 minutes for any of my freinds to show up for breakfast. Then I could only spend like 5-10 minutes with them, and my bf didn't show at all because he overslept. Not that I'm mad about that, I mean, I do it all the time, but isn't this why leaving a phone on would be useful??? That's how ppl get me up when I oversleep. Then I had to run to pick up my second phone, and then sat around and waited to do a conversation with my TA for spanish project #6.
Then I went and did my entire Webassign for Math and then read manga. And I watched the new VKG(ep9) today. It was veeeeeeeeeeeery nice. I liked it. My friend was like, "Meh." about it. I also went to my last Psych class. .....Where I nodded off. Literally. It was pathetic. I was so determined to stay awake for the last class without the help of a PC. I literally nodded off.
After that, back to the IRC office, where I helped out preparing for our banquet. Then I accompanied Mariah to return a lowmower/golfcart type thing. It was fun. Then I saw the horse that would be pulling the cart later tonight, and it was pure white. And huge.
Then I basically hung around helping put up lights until dinner, when i ate too much, and then got my bf to accompany me to our banquet, and we played games and got prizes, and exchanged gifts in a really fun way called "White Elephant". I think I didn't play fairly. I think my gift that I attacked was only stolen twice. (Has to be stolen 3 times to be 'dead') I don't know though. It's bothered me all evening. My bf got the bad end of the deal. He ended up with a picture frame he didn't really want (I could tell because he was gonna give it to me before i made fun of something). I felt bad about that, since I got such a good one, and he went so late that he couldn't hardly get much choice. But the frame thing is really pretty. It feels like my ear is getting infected again. I'm gonna have to do something to cut that off before it starts. I don't like my ear hurting.

Quote of the Day: "Gimme that kush!"

Bust

I feel like today was a bust. I'm not sure why I got up today. I laughed, I worked, and I pissed myself off, but that's all I can really say.....*sigh* I need something to live foooor! I even only saw my boyfreind once today. Meh. Screw it. I'm not worrying about it. I just wish I didn't get up. Test tomorrow, bye byes

Meanie

The blogger has changed it's requirements....they're meanies!!
I didn't get back to my room after the Midnight Breakfast until 1 am.
The meanie council members weren't nearly as useful as they could have been. Why do people say they're adults? I don't feel that age creates an adult, I feel that experiences and maturity determines that. Because I am the youngest, but there's only one person on the council I can respect. Out of 8. Isn't that sad to anyone else???
I can eat more now~!
I surprised my boyfreind by not being "In the mood". He actually said, "I thought you were ALWAYS in the mood." Because I have a higher sexual appetite than him. But I just haven't been feeling well. *shrug* It was funny.
^_^ Read lots of manga.
I feel isolated....like there aren't any people like me anywhere anymore.....not anywhere in reach. It's sad.
Classes weren't difficult. I'm getting pumped for the exams. But I wish I didn't have them one after the other.
Waking is such sweet sorrow.....

Quote of the Day: "What is the difference of living, and living well, in your opinion?"

Eye power

Excerpt from a manga I'm reading:
*They were hiding, but they got stuck between bookshelves*
"If we yell "Help!" I wonder if the enemy will come to save us...?"
"You say it."
"You say it, ____"
"Don't want to."
"Me neither."
*Enemy coming closer, looks around, finally comes close enough to see them*
*****HELP!!!!!!!******-> Expressed solely with glowing eyes
"EEP!!!!" <-Enemy

....yeah, that was all.

Boring Born, Boring Grown

Today was fairly mundane. I'm bored with it, really. Well, actually, I got to see the Fox tower lit up for the first time this year. ^_^ It's right near my room too, so I can see it whenever I want. I also went over the skit with Z today, and we highlighted the new parts. I can't believe we spent 3 hours on it when we didn't have to. I'm trying to go to bed earlier nowadays, because I feel like waking up after sleeping all you can is a great feeling. Especially when you do it and it's BEFORE THE ALARM GOES OFF! That's what happened today anyway. The only thing that kept me in my bed was how cold our room was. I'm still recovering from being sick, and can't eat much heavy stuff, and can only eat half a plate of food at one sitting, and even then I end up feeling sick. *cries* No fair....I used to be able to eat tons! I think I still have a fever because every time my forehead touched my boyfreind, I felt really warm comparatively. I seem to have been bumped up from just being a representative of my hall to being treasurer as well. I don't mind, it isn't like there's a lot to do with it, but I don't like how they assume we don't have much work to do. It ticks me off, actually. And then when I started to try and sum up the fact that we do more work then they do, I got cut off. *grar* My hair is sorta getting annoying....it's really long, so I should cut it, is what I keep thinking, but at the same time, I think "Well, it's winter. It'll insulate me." and "I decided I wouldn't cut it til it reached mid-thigh, so NO!" *sigh* I get tired of my perseverance, really. It isn't easy, especially when I can watch others say, "This is too annoying, I won't do it." or "I don't have to." and not do something. Sure, I say that sort of thing, but I always go back and do it anyway. Boo....

Quote of the Day: "So, even though I only have one heart left, I am still willing to give it to you."