Today....interesting. I've found that I don't really like my sister too much when I think she's making excuses for her behavior, but neither do I like it when she says it's all her fault. I guess my feeling is simply that she does the 'all my fault' thing for two reasons, neither of which is a suitable reason. 1.She wants sympathy, someone to tell her 'it's not all your fault' or 'I understand, don't worry about it, we all would have done it.' or 2. She's just saying it to appease me.
I'm not an omnipotent person, but even I can tell that she isn't sincere when she sounds her sincerest. She's also not sorry when she sounds her sorriest. So I think it's best if I don't scold her but to keep from scolding her i have to keep my distance from her. I can't support what she chooses for herself and her daughter, and one day I may take her daughter away from her. I may as well let her have what she's got now. That sounds tyrannical, but I can't really trust her to keep my baby safe as long as she's always thinking of herself before her daughter. I'm scared to death that as my baby grows and gets older and gets smarter, her mother will think she needs less care, less love, and shove responsibilities or negligence on her.
On a less heavy note, bf and I had fun tonight. Not today, because we fought today, but we're trying to work on that. Tonight was fun though. We watched an idiotic movie, during which I provided him a means to escape at times, but I didn't think the movie was that bad. It was amusing if I thought of it in a more .....um.....artistic and idealistic sense than what we actually saw. ....Yeah.....it was pretty bad.....bf was itching to leave. I hate to leave a movie before it's finished though, because I'll always wonder about the loose ends.
I think my Spanish exam was meant to butcher me. I think it deliberately grabbed me, scratched out my eyes, drove nails into my head with a hammer, and then laughed as it poked all the sensitive spots on my body. Yeah....that gives about the right feeling. I hate when I study for something and I do just as well, if not worse than I would have done if I didn't study. It makes my attempt to study look stupid. Oh well.
That's really been the jist of my day. Oh, well I started, but I don't think that's too big a deal. Just really ironic.
Quote of the Day: "If humans could live their lives with no attachment to another, would that become heaven or hell?"
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