Content, or Discontent

Have you ever been so content that you fear it's ending? Like, you know you can't be that happy for very long, that there's definitely gonna be something that makes it go wrong? That's me. Everytime I get too close to someone, or something(i think cats count as someone, but to be safe...), I begin to get nervous, I know that somehow, it's about it end. And it does. I was laying here with Maya, and all of a sudden, I get the nervous feeling. I think about why I feel that way, and realize, I'm almost certain there's no way she'll stay with me til morning. When I relax and drift into unconsciousness, I just know she'll leave me. So I savor every moment, every content feeling, every instant of love, of feeling loved, of loving. And I wait for it to end. I dont know if it's a side effect of my inferiority complex from so long ago, but I feel like such a feeling of bliss and comfort cant last, not for my sake. I want others to have that feeling forever, they deserve it. I will strive my hardest to become worthy of it. I just don't know what would make one person worthy and another not. Is it good grades? Understanding material? Compassion? Money? What makes one worthy of love?