Merry Christmas!!

I'm not really sure what to type about, but I guess I'll just mention the thoughts as they come up. First: My oldest nephew-turned-brother has gotten very chubby. He has leg hair, armpit hair, possibly chest hair, and sometimes can be stinky. He's wearing a 2XL in mens!! And very little of it is muscle, let me tell you. :( It's not good for him!! My sister told me that Chance had a near mini stroke or something a while back, and no one told me. HE started having chest pains while I was there, and his mother was sending him into a panic attack because she was freaking out and causing him to freak out way more. So I stepped in, took him to the living room sat him down and asked if he had drunk any water that day. I knew he'd had two sodas (Because he'd gone to the movies with us, and his mother had just given him more soda), but he said he didn't have any water. I told him it was likely because he's dehydrated that his muscles had started to seize up, and he needs to drink at least 2 big glasses of water a day. He went and got some water, calmed down, and about then his mom came back with my mom, and even Papa emerged from his cave. Mom took charge and asked what happened, and between the two of us we explained that he felt a tugging near his heart that was probably due to dehydration.

Now for the honesty: I'm not sure if it's dehydration. I remember having that sensation when I lived there, but I never felt like it was important enough to mention. I think it could be the smoke he's constantly inhaling just as much as it could be dehydration. But I KNOW that freaking out, grabbing his shoulders, and raising your voice at him about "What's wrong? Where does it hurt? MOM!!" is not the way to treat someone that's already scared and confused about what's going on. I could wish that my parents would straighten up, stop smoking, and monitor his food intake a little more, but the chances of that happening are so low, even I wouldn't bet on it. I just know that if they could do that, he would be much healthier.

Second: My younger nephew Kay, is still super cute, but he's even more desperate for attention and love than he used to be. He rough-houses a bit (and always ends up on my injuries), he still likes clothes and shoes (and his mom derides him for it, but not as much as she did before), he's still quite obedient (though he argued with Hubby about Hubby not being someone he had to listen to), and he hates going to sleep by himself (but his mom still tries to make him do it). He slept with us on Christmas Eve, and boy does he snore!! I got in bed, he started snoring, and I was aghast. 'Did they seriously give me ANOTHER snore-lax???' is what I first thought. As you all know, Hubby is an incredible snorer. Well, I got lucky. Kay slept turned toward Hubby for most of the night, and just stuck his butt in my face (bleh). We were all happily sleeping until 8 a.m. when my sister got tired of waiting for the kids to wake up and went to wake them up herself. She's over 30!! Hubby and I were leaving that day, and wouldn't have been able to take a nap even if we wanted to!!! And her stupid ass comes in and wakes us all up because she didn't want to wait!! What is WRONG with that woman? Well either way, we were all up at eight, and opening gifts. We took a bit of video of everyone saying Merry Christmas and then put the video down. I helped Papa hand out gifts, then settled down to open ours.

Let me see if I can remember what we got. A mini-cupcake baker, a cake ball baker (think takoyaki), butterfly sconces, butterfly soap, 8 pairs of chopsticks, chinese hanging things from the Olympics, insulated reuseable bags, and socks. We probably got more, but those were our shared gifts. Momma got Hubby a box of butterfingers (And I like the box a lot- Can't wait to use it), and a valet box for his keys and stuff. I don't remember much of anything I got besides those things.

After that, Momma started yawning and said she was going to lie down for a while. That was at like 9. Hubby and I got hungry, and ended up eating cake and stuff for breakfast. Kay joined us and he and I had chocolate milk with our cakes. Then Chris (my sister) put a gross movie with nudity and stuff on, and sent Kay to OUR room with his DVD player to watch his new spongebob movie. Hubby and I packed up and put everything in the car (Hubby did it, so it's pretty disorganized. I'm itching to go rearrange it, but it's raining outside), and I sat with Kay and played with him for a while. Next thing I knew, it was 12, and we had planned to leave around 1. So I went to wake up my mom and found that Papa was ALSO napping (he snuck in. Poor guy. He's so lonely cause Momma won't sleep with him cause he keeps the room too hot). I  tried to wake up Momma, but she just said "Okay, Bye" so I was like, screw this. I texted T to see if he ever got into town, and found that he was waiting for us.

So we left, but poor Kay, he was asking if we would take him to the park. It was too cold, and we were leaving, so I said no. I feel really guilty now. I mean, we took him to coffee and the car wash, and Food Lion, but we didn't do that much with him. I wish I could have done something special with him like we did with Chay when we took him to the movies with us. And then Kay wouldn't let me have a nice picture on my phone of him. I have some good video though. :( Still sad.

Then Hubby reminds me: We still have to drop off the pot that Grandma gave us to to give to Ninny. So we stopped by, and I handed it off and we went to visit T. It was a really short visit (cause we were already running late), but it was great to see him. Then we had to swing by and pick up the candy we'd forgotten that Momma got for Hubby's parents. I feel like the two couples are very similar and would get along really well, but possibly inspire each other to be even more religious and forbearing than they already are, and so I want to them to be friendly, but I'm scared of it at the same time.

Oh, speaking of religion. Miss Mimi called on Christmas Eve with her mom (via three-way), and because she was rude to Nana and she'd had a bad day, she started crying. So we got on with Mimi, her foster mom, her real mom, me, and Momma. We all talked with her, got her calmed down and knowing that we're all trying to get her, we all love her, blah blah blah. Then the wench said something really religious, and I merely said "Well, I'm not Christian Mimi." and she went OFF. "What do you MEAN you're not Christian?? How do you expect to get me when you're not a Christian?! Do you KNOW what you're saying?! Blah blah blah." so I had to answer her, right? "Look Mimi, it took me years to come to the decision to not be Christian, it isn't right to discriminate against me because I'm not, Hubby is still Christian and can take you to church if you want to go, and just because I'm not Christian doesn't mean I'll stop you from being one." Then Mimi made some joke about me preaching and her and her foster mom laughed while I was still sitting there offended.

Let me expand a little on our Christmas Eve dinner. My siblings sat in the kitchen talking about the Bible and how Christians are supposed to be, and in the living room Mom said something about "Do you know what Cin forgot to say in her prayer/blessing/dinnerthing?" I was joking, and I said "Merry Christmas?"and Mom looked at me and said "Not Christmas. It's Christ's Birthday. See, this is why I'm thinking of getting rid of all the presents and stuff and getting back to doing Christ's work." .....and I just sat there, because I didn't want to be the one that ruined Christmas with drama. Mom knows I am athiest/agnostic/whatever the hell others would call me. She has said something to the effect of "I'm scared for your soul because I know you're going to hell" to me before, and we don't discuss it much beyond that, because all we can do is agree to disagree. If I'm wrong and Christians are right, I don't want to be the reason Momma's soul is condemned, but I refuse to believe in their silly and outdated notions. Especially not Paul's (the disciple that was the most devoted).

So when Mimi went off on me like she has some right to, I got angrier than I needed to, but I still don't think I said anything wrong. For her to laugh at my opinion really annoyed me. And to have to listen to my sister tell me that I can't tell people stuff like that or I won't get Mimi REALLY annoyed me. What does being religious say about someone's character??? The Holy Crusades were just sanctioned killers going off and killing anyone that dared to have a different opinion! Some Muslim interpretations say that other religious orders are to be killed immediately or they will lose their access to 'heaven'. The Jews believe that their messiah hasn't come yet, but I don't think they'll ever find someone to believe in. The Hindu's believe anyone born outside their sects is automatically below them and doomed or being punished for previous offenses and treats them accordingly. Is it fair to judge someone without knowing anything about them? I don't think it is, and yet most religions do exactly that. I would rather meet someone and if I'm going to judge them at all, judge it based on their character and their actions, not some religious notions they believe or disbelieve. Live and let live. Jeez.

I don't think the judge should base his decisions on my religion or lack thereof. Let him base it on my character, my job or lack of, my financial situation or distance. There's lots of little things that can weigh against me, but to hold religion against me is worthy of a lawsuit.

Ugh. My face is getting chapped, and I need to put lotion on, but I didn't really bring any besides my work stuff. Un-happy...

But anyway, we drove for 2 and a 1/2 hours and got to Hubby's parent's place. We came in, helped skin carrots for dinner, and opened gifts. :D We got two $25 gift cards to Cheesecake factory as well as a LOT of random chocolates. We also got a card with money, which is always helpful. Then we all took a few things and went across the street to Aunt Mary's house. We had roast beef, carrots, caesar salad, and dinner rolls/bread as well as a baked potato. It was yummy. We got some more money from her, and gave her coasters and doggy treats.

Then we came home and played card games and trouble. His mom had the most victories, and we had cake and ice cream before we took showers and went to bed. Overall it was a nice Christmas and I think we both were very relieved and happy to see our families. We hope yours was as nice as ours was. :) Happy Holidays!

Once again feeling down

You know, as soon as I come off of the steroids, I generally start coughing again, getting nausea, headache, fatigue, and just general bad things start happening inside my body. Whatever I've got, my body isn't fighting it off. So it would be great, Ms. Doctor peoples, if you could figure out what the hell it is, and assist with recovery.

I'm honestly beginning to dread the idea of our trip. Getting there, being with everyone? AWESOME. Being in a car for 12+ hours when I'm already feeling shitty? Plus a cat? Plus poor hubby having to deal with my not-feeling good AND when I get loopy? It just seems like a bad idea. But we're agreed to go, and everyone is expecting us, and I really want to see everyone, so I'm gonna eat lots of zantac and excedrin and see how that works out for me.

Today Hubby and I got a lot of errands done. We mailed off some things, cashed my check, I bought hubby's Christmas gift, we went to PT where they worked me hard, ate at Masala Wok, and still had time to go home and drop off our rent check and leave a note for one of the workers about receiving pregnancy massage.

I got my results back from my practical exam on Monday. I had points taken off for my biomechanics (Doing things that aren't good for me), and points taken off for not keeping my client from talking. ....She only made a comment about moving, and that's because she had scratches and bruises all over that I had to ask her about, so I didn't rub oil into them. I don't feel like I should have had points taken because of a 30 second convo, but the comment was that it's my responsibility to keep my client quiet, so I'll quietly take it. A lot of people made nineties and stuff  this time so I feel less self-conscious about making a 96. Last time I made a 98. And we got our progress reports. I have an A- in physiology because of a homework that I turned in incomplete (I'd forgotten to do the last page), but otherwise I have straight As and A+s. So I'm doing pretty well.

Today and tomorrow we're reviewing our notes and stuff because the Monday we come back, we have a written exam. It's good, because I can take my notebook on our trip and study in the car when I'm not driving.

Tomorrow I'm going to be doing all the laundry, washing dishes, loading the car, and packing up everything so we can just get up and leave Friday morning. We're gonna take a cooler with snacks and drinks with us, so maybe we won't have to stop as often, and it won't be as bad. I'm worried about Maya, but I'll be damned if I'm walking the damn cat again. I got SOOO many strange looks when we moved her down here. And it's not like she used the restroom or ate anything. I'll stick a bowl with some water in her cage thing when we stop for gas and see if that will settle it.

Here's a pretty cool video Hubby and I watched. http://www.danoah.com/this-is-how-you-make-a-family-christmas-card  I thought it was really cute and kinda cool, in a weird way. I don't think I could do that, but I applaud them for managing to.

Hubby needs to get to bed, so I'm gonna try and sleep too. I haven't been sleeping well lately, so I hope I can just fall asleep and stay out this time. Sweet dreams everyone!!

Cold Feet + Cutie Honey

I have terminally cold feet with our hardwood floors. Reb insists his wool socks will fix it. Hence:
Me: What do I win when these don't work?
Reb: It doesn't matter because they're gonna work.
Me: So I can have anything since you're absolutely confident?
Reb:.....NO! 'Cause your body has mysterious ways I can't comprehend!!
Me: *chuckles*

Damn straight. 

I'm gonna win. I know it. My feet aren't going to lose to a pair of nifty socks. They still feel like ice. 

Hubby was SO CUTE YESTERDAY! I went out early in the morning to give and recieve massage from a friend. He came tumbling out of bed to say goodbye to me before I had to leave. He was weaving on his feet, pouting, rubbing his eyes and yawning. SO ADORABLE!!! 

Then I was out shopping and waiting to hear a reply from him. His eventual reply? "Loneliiiiii. Oh, so lonelyyyyy. I have no bo-dy " so I hopped in the car and came home immediately. He grabbed me as soon as I came in the door and held on tight. 

"Where were you? I missed you. I was so lonely! Where did you go? Why did you leave me?" Hug hug hug, pout pout pout. I laughed, and held up the food. "I brought you chicken! Don't you want the chicken?" And he was all "I want Runa! Chicken can't replace Runa!" and I laughed again. "Chicken isn't replacing me, it's..... supplementing me, to make up for being so late! Here, what about a Butterfingers?" And he pouted some more, but I finally got him settled down on the couch and he's eating the food and he looks down. "It's cold." (I had gotten the food an hour or so ago) Looking down, pouting, and refusing to leave my side to heat up the food was so incredibly adorable. He's too cute!! 

Yes, I recognize that the signs of an unhealthy co-dependence are forming, but it really shouldn't have the ability to escalate very much beyond this level, considering we're about to take a long road trip together (And I get loopy after a few hours in a car), and after that I'll be looking for a job AND attending school. So I'm just enjoying the unhealthy yet oh-so-delicious lovey-dovey feels. 

That's all. I just wanted to gloat. BTW-It's been over twenty minutes and my feet are still cold. I think I've won this damn bet. 



Teehee.

Friends!

Since everyone else (well, almost everyone) has been posting on this subject, I figure I may as well post a little bit too. I actually can't comment on ppl's blogs so I have to send personal messages to each poster. Hubby gets skype messages, Fourth gets facebook messages, and caitlec get emails. I'm sorry to inundate you with messages like that, and if it becomes a bother, I promise I'll stop as long as you let me know. I'm terrified of being a bother, but I think you all know that by now.

Hubby said the other day that that part of me was one that had never changed, no matter how much time passes. And it's true. I can't stand being seen as a troublesome person to others. At least not on my own behalf. This makes it difficult for me to make friends as well, because it's so hard to know what will be considered unwanted attention or questions. I pride myself on being able to see when others are uncomfortable or in pain, but that doesn't always mean that I know what the reason for the trouble is, or if I can ease it. And it's difficult for me to understand simple solutions to problems. An easy example: The plug-in for my computer is a little far from the couch. I unplug my computer so I can have it on my lap, and because the battery is wonky, my computer will just die when it's ready. Hubby asked why I didn't move the couch closer to the plug in, and I honestly don't have an answer beyond: I never thought of it. The same sort of problem occurs when I try to talk to people.

There's the people that will good-naturedly listen to my thoughts and rambling, and I feel happy that they listen, but I worry that they dismiss my words because they see me as less interesting than others. There's the people that will listen to the beginning of my words, and then change the subject or interrupt me because my thoughts have triggered some of their own and they would prefer to talk about that. There's the people that will listen to me, but I have to listen to them for FOREVER before it's my turn, and then my turn is over so quickly as to not even have counted. I worry that these attitudes mean that my conversation is just a placeholder in the dialogue and not something that others really have any interest or care for.

When I think of these things, my voice freezes and I find it so difficult to talk that I actually end up just silently listening. One of my favorite taciturn heroines quotes that I think of when this happens is: Someone has to listen to all that talk. I think it's fascinating to see people's interactions and subtle domination or subjugation of others in simple conversation, and I know I can hold my own, but I don't want to. I don't enjoy battling and sparring with words, and making witty repartes with others that cause wounds or hurt feelings. I like conversation where everyone can say what they're burning to say, but also respect each other enough to listen to what they're saying. I'm not sure that's a common situation outside of formal debates though.....

I often find myself at a loss of topic for conversation as well. Any ready-made conversation starters you could suggest would be nice.

I like talking to Hubby. We talk a lot more than I feel we used to. Sometimes we can have pretty long conversations and I end up pretty surprised by how long we've been talking. Well, he's brushing his teeth now, which is the signal that he wants to go to bed, so I'll stop here. Good night!

Counting Stars

I love this song. :) It's a little religious, but it's also easy to ignore those implications and it's so fun to sing it. Especially if you just belt it out. Hubby laughed at me for it, but I enjoyed being able to sing the whole song. Now he's singing it too. Lol!

I like chocolate milk. I've had three glasses tonight. I also had a piece of eggnog bread (I made it) that was okay. It was a little too salty, but that might be because I had an end piece. Yay needing to eat every twelve hours so I can take steroids that mess with my body and make it so much more difficult to be comfortable in my skin.

I mean, it's bad enough that I'm STILL gaining weight, but to have my blood pressure soaring (140s/90s) and my muscles constantly feeling really tight and on the verge of cramping really sucks. I'm steadily blowing up, and Hubby is steadily dwindling down!! Argh!

Today is my niece's birthday. I talked to her for a bit, and as it says in hubby's blog, it was a frustrating experience. I really just wanna know whether to get rid of this bed or not. It'd be nice to be able to use that room for my massage practice (since we'll be moving before we ever get her) but it's also true that furniture is expensive and I'm rather attached to that bed. I've slept in it a total of four times when Hubby pissed me off too much for me to sleep in the same bed that night. I don't understand how wives kick their husband's out of bed. It doesn't work when I try it. :/

I took a fun little personality test that fairly reflects my views and feelings about situations. http://www.ipersonic.com/type/DI.html
It's interesting and a new way to take a personality test. I'm always on the fence with things, so having multiple statements and just going with the one that has more statements I agree with works better than 'Pick A or B, based on your understanding of yourself and the meanings behind A and B'.

I made eggnog bread, but I think I should have added rum after all. Here's the recipe. http://oneperfectbite.blogspot.com/2013/12/countdown-to-christmas-simple-and.html#.UqIqavRDv7E It's not bad, but it needs a little tweaking in my opinion. I'm gonna make some pumpkin bread for the couples to go with their gift cards.

It's kinda hard to believe that in a week we're leaving town and going to NC! We really have to work out when we're going to meet with A, and C, and Rozy! If we can. I hope we can. We need to cement the details out, but it's so hard to get ahold of people!! I guess we'll swing it by ear, but when we start visiting friends during the time when we stay with my family, I start to feel a little cheated, especially since I already have so many family members to meet with(3-5 houses to visit), and Hubby only has two houses, and they're right across from each other. It's nice that we can stay with my family on the way in Alabama, but I'm really worried Hubby is gonna wanna erm, 'get it on' there and I'm totally not comfortable with that. On the plus side, we can finally use our air mattress and Mom will set us up in my old room so we'll have a bit of privacy instead of being out where everyone can see us in the living room like we were last time.

We also both have dentist appointments next week. And we're picking up our photoshoot pictures to send out Christmas cards. They may be late. :/ I hope they're not but you never know.

I think I'm gonna go now so I can egg Hubby into either moving the furniture with me (at 1 a.m. The neighbors will love us), or screwing with me. We have a lot of fun just purposely messing with each other. Hubby is unfairly cute nowadays.

Mmm. Yummy cinnamon buns.

We bought a dozen frozen cinnamon rolls months back, and I've been working my way through them two at a time every since. Sometimes Hubby would make them for me, and sometimes I would make them, but the general consensus was that neither of us could make it without burning the damn things. Today was the final pair (and I don't think I'll be buying them again. Way too much trouble for medium deliciousness and they don't cook in the same times), and I finally made it without burning them. How? I cooked it for 13 minutes instead of the 15-20 minutes they suggest. It was yummy, but overall I think they take up too much space for too long for me to want to buy them again.

I've been thinking about getting Mimi a lot lately. Taking care of her, raising her to be a smart and independent young woman, cooking meals for three instead of two.... It's been on my mind. And I'll admit, I'm looking forward to it. It'll be so nice to have a third party help you eat something. There's lots of things that I love, but just don't make because I'll be the only one eating them and that's lonely and sad. It's just one of those things that happens when you and your partner have different tastes.

Oh, but speaking of tastes, I made Tonkatsudon yesterday! For those trying to remember, it's pork cutlet rice bowl. Breaded and deep-fried pork loin chops cut into slices and laid over white rice with tonkatsu sauce over it. I also made some grilled brocollini to go with it that was wonderfully salty and garlicy.

I think I need a nap. I'm done with this post. Sorry it's so short. :X

Ooh. This song gives me the chills. I like the original and this cover of it. I hope you like it too. :)

Trading Significant Others

It has begun. We have begun trading our SOs now to get our OMs done. Translation: We have begun offering our significant other's bodies to each other in order to get enough outside massage forms completed.



We started it on Saturday. E and his girlfriend R came over and we worked at the same time, trying to finish in one hour exactly. We went over by 5 or so minutes though. I really need to work on getting my time down. >.< It was very educational though. E told me today (when I asked) that she didn't have any extra advice, and that she raved about me knowing what I'm doing.
E worked on Hubby, who seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. His legs went numb at one point though. A little strange. I'll let him expound on it if he wishes.

Afterward we went out to Applebees to eat together. It was nice, and I ate a lot. After that, on our way to get bubble tea, I called my mom back and found out that my cousin who was older than me by one year died in a motorcycle accident that day. :/ She also told me not to tell my siblings, but since she told Ninny, they found out the next day anyway. So of course all of them called me to let me know, because they figured I didn't know either. I'm not stupid: I played along. We'll have to send flowers and a card to the funeral. I'm not going myself. We really weren't close.

When we got home, I was coughing so hard that after I took my medicine, I actually ended up throwing it back up. Twice. Bleh. So disgusting.
I have to take my medicine every twelve hours, with food. It's incredibly ironic that I have yet to actually be hungry when I have to take the damn stuff. So I'm just forcing myself to eat a good enough amount that I won't get sick from adding antibiotics and steroids to my body.

I still can't really speak loud or long enough to be communicative, so my class today (Titled: Communication) was rather ironic. Still, it was nice. ....Nice and long. Tomorrow we're back to doing Hydrotherapy. I believe it's the herbal wrap, the facial, and the cold water treading tomorrow. So many materials, for so short of a lesson. I've been finding that I don't particularly enjoy receiving these lessons, but I do enjoy giving them. Particularly the cold water bath, where I take a freezing cold rag to my partner and wipe them down. Then trap them in the sheets until they get warm again. Sounds like an evil plan, doesn't it?


Some big bang for your buck:

Happy Thanksgiving!

Boy this has been a sucky week on the health front. On the food front, pretty good. On the sex front, great! But the health front, just... damn.

I'll start on Sunday night, when we went out to see Catching Fire. When we got home, I didn't feel well but I chalked it up to loud sounds and too much popcorn. Monday morning however, was a totally different story. I was in agony, all over. I was too hot, then too cold, my head hurt, my teeth kept clenching, my stomach felt like it was going to come out of my too small throat, and my throat felt like it was going to close on me. I think I mentioned this, but it deserves a repeat. I. Was. Miserable. Then hubby came home and made me feel better with lots of crying, medicine, some crackers, and some restorative sleeping.
Tuesday, I still felt bad, but I took some Allegra-D and while it didn't cover all the yucky feelings inside, it was good enough to get me through the day and into Wednesday.
Wednesday, we had some errands to run, one of which was finally picking up the first Harry Potter novel from the library so I can reread the series. Afterward we went out to eat at a pretty awesome Sandwich place because I didn't want to cook the day before Thanksgiving. I was still nauseous at the drop of a hat, so I only got to eat half my sandwich though it was yummy. And I think I read something or other. I'm not too clear on it, but Hubby pissed me off because he kept tickling me, so I tried to kick him and ended up bruising my ankle on his elbow. Yeahhhhh not our best moment.
Thursday, I woke up pissed off. I think I'll explain later, but essentially, I knew I wasn't feeling well, I slept late, I knew it was *the* day for cooking, and I got up pissed. Poor hubby helped me cook for two and a half hours, after which dinner was ready, but I wasn't really able or willing to eat much. We had ham, mac'n'cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, honey crescent rolls, sweet cornbread, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie (made with kabocha because we went to three stores and none of them had pie pumpkins), and little one-serving sweet potato casseroles. Not bad, right?
Then today I woke up and just knew it sucked to be me. My throat once again felt like it was closing, my head still hurt, my stomach still didn't like me, and it had been FIVE DAYS since it started. I couldn't even talk. Whispering hurt like a freakin' acid. So hubby got out the computer and I typed to him, asking him to call my doctor and arrange for me to come in if they were open. The first time, we got a message talking about them being closed on Thanksgiving but in business on Friday, so I thought maybe they hadn't changed their message, and asked him to call back after 1. Well, I was right, and they told us to come on in. We did, and Hubby handled all the talking, then sat down in the waiting room with me and the laptop where I continued to talk to him. Then we went to the back, where I had my temperature and blood pressure taken and the nurse went away. While we were waiting, I heard the nurses/receptionists talking about how one of them called the doctor and asked if she was coming back, because they had a patient. So I was like O_O); Really? ..... =.=); We might be waiting a while.
But she came in within ten minutes, so it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd been expecting. ....But it wasn't my doctor. Then she didn't even introduce herself. I still don't know her name. She looked at the stats the nurse had taken, and was like "99? Well, you don't have a fever...So what other symptoms do you have?" and Hubby explained, then mentioned (I was very glad he remembered) that my normal temperature is actually 96.8 so yes, 99 was a fever for me. She looked in my ears, checked down my throat, listened to my heart beat, and felt my throat. Yes, that was it. Then she said "So do you want the shot or the pills?"
We were so confused. I asked "What is it?" but no one understood me, so she took that to be, what are the shots and pills. She said they were antibiotics, and that with my throat that bad, I probably couldn't swallow pills, so it would have to be the shot. I asked which one took effect sooner, and she said the shot. I cannot, repeat CANNOT attend classes with a communicable disease, so I immediately chose the shot. THEN she said, "I have to warn you, the antibodies are a very viscous, cold liquid that either gets injected into your thigh or your buttock, so you'll definitely feel it." I got tears in my eyes (I don't like needles) but was still committed to the shot. So she said she would send the nurse in, but before she escaped, I or hubby asked her what was wrong, and she simply said 'throat infection'. Then she left.

I was going to continue the story, but I want to take a moment here to expand on my growing lack of confidence in this woman. The difference between a viral infection and a bacterial infection are not that big, except for treatment. IF you treat a viral infection as a bacterial one, it can backfire on you. Badly. So the simplest way to test whether it's bacterial or not is to do a swab. ....She did not do one. Here's a simple explanation of the differences between the two, as well as the symptoms: http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/tc/sore-throat-topic-overview My symptoms clearly match a viral infection, and I've had strep throat more times than I have fingers on one hand. She could have asked, or mentioned what she thought it was, or SOMETHING, but she did not. I'll resume my story now.

So, we're waiting, and then she comes back in, and hands me a prescription. She also mentions I might want to pick up Mucinex to go with it, to help with the congestion and cough. Hubby asked if that meant I wasn't going to get the shot, and she said no, the nurse would be in shortly. I asked what happened to Doctor Wendy, and she simply said that Wendy no longer works in that office. I asked if Allegra-D would work just as well, and she said something about if it was helpful so far, why not and left again, without explaining what exactly she'd given me. We kinda looked at each other with this 'The fuck? Do we really wanna do what this woman says?' face, but then the nurse came and told me to sit down. Hubby stood by me while we let a woman with bloodshot eyes stick a two inch long needle in my right thigh and then press it deeper and deeper. I didn't cry, and I didn't make a sound. The fact that I couldn't make a sound does not lessen my pride in not having whimpered. It was indeed painful. I was very happy to have her go. But then we had to go too and they were asking about a followup appointment I had scheduled with Doctor Wendy about my hypothyroidism, and frankly I'm not sure I ever want to see them again. But for now, I went with it (not like I could have argued), and when we got out, we saw the Doctor. Hubby (thank goodness for smart men) immediately got her attention and asked about the prescription.
She said the top one was antibiotics (so why did I get a shot?? We both thought one meant you didn't need the other, but apparently we were wrong), and the bottom one was for the inflammation and itching. That's all she said.
Well, we left and went to get our prescription filled. :( At Walmart. On Black Friday. It actually wasn't too bad, but we got another shock at the counter. The price was decent, but the shock actually came when the pharmacist explained what the pills were for, and how many I'm taking. She said "The first one is an antibiotic, you take one every twelve hours, and if you're on any birth control, you should know this medicine reduces the effectiveness of it, and should take secondary precautions." That floored us. Well, that and the size of the pills she showed us. Who the hell makes pills half an inch thick and over an inch long for people with throat problems??? But we got over the size, and Hubby asked for clarification. She said yes, any hormonal birth control will definitely be affected. Well. We're gonna be taking extra precautions this week!
And then. She explained the second set of pills. Oh. my. goodness. She said "And these are steroids. For the first 4 days, you'll be taking 6 pills every 12 hours, and for the last 2 days, you'll be taking 4 pills every 12 hours. Make sure you take all of these medicines with food, or it could make you sick." Back up. The chick gave me STEROIDS??? And didn't mention it? Go a little forward: SIX PILLS? Every 12 hours, I'm supposed to swallow seven-five pills, for a week or so? You want me on antibiotics and steroids that mess with my birth control (which often causes tubal pregnancy, which is a danger to you and the infant) and you didn't say anything to me about any of it? REALLY???

So yes, I'm pretty damn happy to change my doctor to one of Hubby's free school clinic doctors, assuming I can get all my paperwork transferred over. This chick explained nothing without our asking, and the bare minimum when we asked. On top of that, antibiotics frequently cause yeast infections (and my family is surprisingly susceptible to them) and as a doctor, she should have at least mentioned it or asked if that would be a problem for me. I'm really hesitant to actually take this medicine when I don't know that my infection is actually bacterial at all. But then I tell myself that I'm already filled with antibiotics from the shot and I should just take it all, since I accepted from the start. But I'm slack-jawed at the sloppiness of this woman, and I really miss my doctor. ;___;

Now here's my possibility section. The things I think it could be, but didn't get to ask about, and don't feel confident asking her. I could be allergic to mold, ants, or some tree in T that isn't in NC. This is getting less and less likely as the allergy medicine didn't clear everything up. Another thing is, I've had strep and mono, and/or some combination of the two several times. They usually aren't this severe, but in general, strep and mono are also very contagious. Hubby has been fine, despite all the lip-locks we've done this week. So maybe my body has twisted those bacteria into a recurring plague that comes for me whenever I get weak or stressed or the weather changes too suddenly. That's also possible, and could explain why it's just me on the damn sickbed. Don't get me wrong, I'm overjoyed that Hubby doesn't have to suffer this with me. I just always want to know the whys of everything, and this bothers me. What is this? Why doesn't anyone else seem to be getting this??

And there you have my week. There was other stuff, but I'm pretty much only posting on what I'm focusing on at the moment. :P Good night!


This is very nice. I liked this. Please listen to it.

We bought Chestnuts!

They were so much cheaper at Sprouts than at Walmart! It was $3 something a pound, instead of $5 a pound. So I got 6 dollars worth of chestnuts (they're huge, succulent, and bound to be good) and looked up how to roast them. Apparently you have to cut Xs in them to keep them from exploding. It may be mean, but I kinda wanna make them explode and play a practical joke on someone. It's possibly dangerous though, so I'm going to refrain. Instead, a Turkish neighbor was roasting eggplants when I was swimming (in the hot tub. Cold weather + hot tub outside? AWESOME!!) so when I got out, I cut some chestnuts and sent Hubby out with them to him (since I'm wet and my feetsies would get cold).

I read this article last night (http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/11/22/why-women-still-need-husbands/) and thought it was interesting. Hubby and I are planning essentially for the exact situation they're suggesting people head for. I do agree that for me, it's a preferred way of life. I talked with Hubby about it, but it was mostly me talking and so it's not a very interesting convo to repeat. Essentially, if I work 25 hours a week, and charge 80 or so dollars a session (make that much), I would be in the $100,000 annual salary range. However, my goal in being a therapist is making enough to support us, but also make it affordable enough that anyone can get one (I also eventually want to expand into animals, children, and the ill but that's years down the road) while also working a schedule that won't really wear me out or keep me from my family. So my goal range is actually about 20 hours a week at $40 a session. That puts me around the $40,000 income range, which is a little more than I feel I need to bring in. Hubby expects  to make around $70,000 annually, so that puts us in the $110,000 range and I feel that's a little too much money for us to make and raise children with.

Let me explain that a little further (since Hubby's response was 'Money money money!'). There's a point where you make too much money to fully commit to raising your child in a healthy, happy environment without spoiling them. I truly believe that. It's one thing to make that much money and only spend a bit of it, but hoarding money is also not good for the economy, and you should also teach your child about giving back to those around you (this is different from charity). It's another thing if you're raising 3-7 kids on that much money. Because the more bodies you have, the more expenses. But since we're only planning to two children (three when you include Mimi, and I agree that maybe making that much will help us pay for her college later, but I want her to put in the extra effort and work while in college so she doesn't lose sight of her abilities, her ability to depend on herself, and her independence), that's a higher income than we really need, so it makes me uncomfortable. Admittedly, I'm not going to turn it down.... Do you know how many books that means I can buy????

Another good thing about my income is that it will be so versatile. If something happens and Hubby ends up out of work, I can step up my hours (as little as 5 hours a week), add a few extra clients, increase my session price a little bit (as little as $5) and jump up to $30,000 extra a year. I don't want to do that because it could endanger my body, and I could find myself approaching burnout, but I could do it. And to me, that's what counts.

It's also a little worrisome that if my family knows I'm doing well, I might end up with them constantly asking me for money. I may just say that since Hubby makes more than I do, they have to ask him for money. I'm too quick to hand it over, but I also don't want to push them on him if he doesn't want that burden. Hm. Something to talk about.

I think that's about it for tonight. I'm posting regularly, but I'm not getting much blog love.... *pout* I wish I could comment on peep's blogs but my account doesn't allow it for some reason. :/

I'll posted this before, but I really do like Maksim Mrvica. I might even buy some of his CDs to play for my massage clients. The only problem is that I've become able to hear when he makes mistakes (as all people do) and am worried that it'll be distracting to me or my clients.

Translating!

Today, a week and four days after I got the chapter and the go-ahead, I sat down and translated the entire 40 page chapter. I'd already done the first 5 pages as a test to see if they wanted me as their translator, (I didn't know it was a test) and they said I passed. So today, I woke up around 11 and just didn't want to go back to sleep, so I got up, found myself with nothing to do, and started translating. Then, before I knew it, it was 1pm and Hubby came home. I was only on the 20th page or so. And so then, around 4:30, I was done. I think that means it took me about 5 hours to translate 35 pages. So 7 pages an hour? That's a little slow, but I think as I get used to it, I can improve my time. I also had three lines that just utterly confounded me, so I have to ask for help with them. But it was an interesting exercise, especially when I tried to explain my frustration to Hubby and just ended up jabbering on in Japanese. Some of those lines are total tongue-twisters though!!

I do feel a little accomplished, and a little more happy with myself. It's good review to read these things, and damn if they don't have some complicated kanji.

We also went to see Catching Fire on Sunday. It was really good, and I didn't even notice most of the stuff they left out until after we'd left the theatre and I was thinking back on it. I really liked it, both as a movie, and as a representation of the book. I really didn't enjoy the first movie, and felt like it was a stifled film overall, but this one was good. I want to see it again, which is something I never said about the first one. When I thought about it, they really did leave a lot out, and put in a few things that totally make sense/could work in the book and the flow was overall really good.

Yesterday (Monday), I got EXTREMELY sick. I believe it was allergies, because I took allergy medicine and it made it a lot better. But boy... moving hurt, I couldn't breath, I couldn't sleep, I was too hot, then too cold, my head hurt, my stomach felt super nauseous, and I was on the verge of tears when hubby came home. So of course as soon as he touched me, I started crying. *rolls eyes* I really need to learn what it is about him that makes my emotions just pour out of me every time he touches me. And then I was nonsensical, telling him to go buy me medicine, but don't leave me. Then, I can't move, but I want to go with him. Then, I need this, but I don't want him to leave me. Even I can admit I was ridiculously contradictory. But hubby persevered, and finally convinced me I should stay home and study while he bought my medicine (I had a test yesterday). So he bought medicine and ginger ale (I always drink it when I'm sick because it settles my stomach, and isn't particularly taste-filled), came home, and found my curled up asleep. I studied for a while, but crying wore me out and I fell asleep. Maya kept me company pretty much the entire day in bed. And once hubby came back with medicine for me, he also joined me and we studied together.
Then I went to class (had hubby drive me) and took my test. It took me 15 minutes to take a 40 question test, and I got 6 wrong, but I got 5 of the bonus questions right, so I ended up with a 90. I wish I had done a little better, but I don't think 90 is bad. I studied a lot of stuff I didn't need to, apparently.

Then I managed to hang in there, and stayed for the whole class, where we learned about a few pressure points, and meditation. We all went around and shared our experience with meditation, and I thought about how I actually do 'meditation' several times in a day. When I'm contemplating what to make for dinner, my mind focuses but wanders, and it's like meditation (making dinner is different. I have to pay too much attention to outside factors for that to be meditation). When I swim, it's like water meditation. When I jog, it used to be like meditation. Now it's just "Ouch, ow, ow, ow, oh, oh, it's going numb, is that good? is that bad? which which which?" But essentially, you can do it anywhere and that really came home to me, listening to everyone elses' experiences with it.

I really should get in contact with my school's finance office and find out about the scholarship I earned. I still haven't heard from him, but I think I'll draft an email over our Thanksgiving break. :/ I called once and left my number, but phoning makes me so shy, I don't wanna do it again.

Hubby's been on the phone for over an hour with somebody asking for his help. *pout* I want his attention on me! Especially since I'm leaving for school soon. *pout pout* Damnit! .....Yes, I'm totally spoiled.

Maya has been crying too much lately, so I lost my temper with her. I looked at her, narrowed my eyes, growled, and held her stare until she looked away twice. She hasn't made a sound since. I feel a little bad, but I was really tired of her crying. I've already picked her up, petted her, fed her, and watered her. I do need to do her litter box, but since my head still feels like it could explode if I move too much, I'm putting it off for a little bit. :/

Have a good one~! I'll try to post again soon. :)

I think this song is very good. This cover is pretty good too.

Light and fluffy post

Since College kid said that my last post was rather heavy, I'll see about being lovey-dovey on this one.

Hubby and I have gotten rather lovey dovey lately(last few months). When he comes home, I usually run to the door to give him a hug and an 'Okaeri'. When we're in bed, we usually cuddle one or the other (I'm a big spoon! Wahaha!) while going to sleep. Sometimes we have mock fights where one of us chases the other, and the usual 'safe place' becomes the bed, where the chased snuggles under the covers and 'hides'. And is usually poked or tickled as payment for using the bed. When Hubby comes home from work, if I'm not up already, he'll usually come and climb back in bed for anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours. It depends on if he falls back asleep, and if I'm too sleepy to notice he's there (I usually notice, but sometimes think I'm dreaming). When he joins me in bed, I often wrap my feet around his, since he usually has cold feet when he comes home, and mine are super warm from sleeping. We try to text each other pretty often, but that doesn't always work, since he doesn't check his phone very much, and so it dies on him more than anyone else I've ever seen.
We went and bought a shirt so we could have contrasting clothes for our Christmas photos this year (yes, we're trying to do it every year). I really wanted tacky-couply-Christmas sweatshirts or vests, and we FINALLY FOUND THEM!! But he didn't want to pay for clothes we would only ever wear one time. So hopefully they'll be on sale after Christmas and we can buy some for next year. But next year we'll likely have Mimi with us, so we might need to buy a third one.
In general, I think we're just steadily finding each other more and more adorable, and hence the 'Cute Aggression' video makes sense. We squeeze and hug and coo at each other. We pout and poke and laugh at each other. And life is pretty good. Even when we're annoyed with each other, it isn't so bad. :D Yay fluffy post!

Here's another Downtown Episode, this time in a Silent Library. It kinda feels like jackass when they do it this way. It's an hour long, but you can just skip around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NPSVqBqfhM

Here's a bit of Fluffy for you. :)

I tried to set up a study group

and one person said she would come. But she hasn't called, texted, or messaged me yet. :( I even tidied up a little bit.

So, for the 'bad' news: My sister went to court on Wednesday about her baby boy Max (who I've never met), and the judge's first decision was to give him to his father's family. But C's father stood up and said he wanted a paternity test done, and everyone got mad, and the judge said to forget it, all their rights were terminated, and Max is being put up for adoption. It turns out that his foster mother wants to adopt him, and he's always been happy and clean and well-dressed (according to Cin), so I think he's going to a good home.

Then the next day, Mimi called Nana and asked her to come eat lunch with her. The foster mother had said that she didn't see a problem with it, but the social worker said no when the school called her about mom coming in. Mom showed up and signed in and saw Mimi as she went to lunch, but the office ladies told Mimi to keep walking and told Nana that SS had said she wasn't on the allowed list to see Mimi, and she had to leave. Mom called SS about it, and got into an argument with the social worker, so my visit in December might be in jeopardy. *sigh* Plus, Mimi was left disappointed because they wouldn't let Nana explain to her why she couldn't eat with her.

Mimi called Cin that night, and Cin explained what happened, and Mimi said it was fine, and they got to talking. Mimi told Cin that she had lied about Chay touching her sexually, but that R (Cin's then-boyfriend) HAD touched her, just like she told Nana he had. Cin asked why Mimi had lied to her for so long (it's been years now. I was a senior in high school when this happened), and Mimi said she'd been scared. Cin still won't admit she was wrong to go back to R after Mimi said that. She said she hadn't believed that he would do that, and she regrets the arguments, but there hadn't been a doubt in her mind that he hadn't done it because Mimi told her it was Chay and not R. She doesn't seem to understand THAT's why Mimi changed her story. Kids are sensitive to adult's moods and beliefs, and it was better to change the story and still believe her mommy loved her, than to tell about the guy she loved and see if her mommy would choose the guy over her or not. I can't explain it without getting perilously angry, because if there's the slightest doubt about a man, I would give him up before I would risk my kids, and I would never go back to him. I believe hubby would never, ever do such a thing, especially since he doesn't even like kids. But I also can't imagine being in that situation because it's hubby I married. At least she wasn't married to the bastard, though I can't forgive her for going back to him like she did.

After she got off the phone with Mimi, Cin called the police, and they said it wasn't too late to charge R, now that Mimi was admitting it. What bothers me is the story Mimi told. She said Cin was at work, and they were at a hotel they were living in, and Mimi told R her 'monkey' was hurting (Bubble baths bother her genitals, so that was probably what made her all raw), and he told her to take off her pants, and when she did, he stuck a finger in her. Knowing Mimi as I do, I'm now doubtful there was anything sexual about it. I'm not sure, and for me, that's enough to continue hating him, but I know Cin and R had sex with Mimi in the room while they thought she was sleeping. A lot. And Mimi has a very active imagination, and could construe his looking at her monkey to see what's wrong, as being sexual, especially if he moved her 'lips' around to see if there were any bumps or anything. She would easily construe it that way, and so I'm unsure if anything really happened. But it bothers me to know the full story now, and still have so many questions. If it was innocent, then when he was accused all those years ago, wouldn't he have told about the same story? And I know his penis was tiny, like, finger size or smaller, so he could have been having sex with Mimi, rubbing her raw (like we thought the bubble bath was doing) and we would never have really known it until Mimi said. The ambiguity of having an idea of what happened, and still not knowing, bothers me. :/ I don't know.

Anyway, Cin is now staying with Bubba through the holidays. She admitted that she tried to commit suicide a month and half ago, that she felt like everything was hopeless, and that C stopped her from doing it. I owe him some thanks. Maybe I'll get him a Christmas present for saving my sister's life. I still hate him intensly, but I would like to show my gratitude. I love my sister too much to ignore that help. So I finally have a way to get in touch with her!

She told me that she hated calling me anymore because she never got to talk to me without having to admit to x number of screw-ups that she's done. I told her that's life, and that everyone makes mistakes and things happen to everyone. She sounded disbelieving, so I asked if I'd told her about hitting a car on Valentine's Day. I hadn't, so I told her that. Then I mentioned that office job letting me go, and how I haven't heard from her since I told her I'd gotten the job, so I hadn't been able to tell her about them deciding I wasn't a good fit. How, because she doesn't talk to me, she doesn't know about my screw-ups, but that everyone does mess up, and it's a part of life, and she should be able to see that.

We ended on a good note, and I realized I hadn't gotten to ask her for her lawyer's contact info. *siiiiiigh* She said that she wants to be with Bubba because she knows that he and I care about her and wouldn't turn our backs on her. *tilts head* I don't know. If she screws up much more, I won't be able to help it. She's got an apartment ready for that is income-based, so as soon as she starts making an income, she'll be able to move into it, and next week she has someone coming to help her find a job. I think Cin would make a great secretary or assistant. She's very sociable and can hold her own in a confrontation. But she has so much bad background, and her credit is so very bad, that I don't see anyone hiring her in that capacity. It's sad.

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of something to make for dinner and not coming up with much of anything. *sigh* I don't necessarily want to eat out, but I certainly don't have anything I want to make. I think I'm a little depressed that I tried to do a study group and no one showed.

We have our first written exam on Monday and I think if I just read through my notes, I'll be prepared enough. We have forty minutes, and forty six questions, so it shouldn't be too bad. It'll be a good indicator of how well we'll test.

It's certainly getting cold now. I'm covered with a blanket and I'm still cold. That could be contributing to my languid mood.

I still need to call Mom, so I'll go ahead and get off. Love you guys. Sorry my post is so full of crap. But that's life, right?

My battery isn't what it used to be

Right as I typed that, my computer died. I was waiting for the car to finish getting 'updated' at the repair shop. We needed to change the oil, rotate the tires, get state inspections done, and check the brakes. It took a full two hours, so I was rushing around yesterday.

Today was pretty good. I was running on a high of being able to see a movie that I've really liked since I first saw the advertisements in Japan. That's right, Hankyu Densha! I've made hubby watch it, and he really seemed to enjoy it. It's available online with english subtitles, so if you have the time, I really recommend you watch it. It's a feel-good film. Hmmm.... Here's a trailer:

http://www.filmsmasharchives.com/musicvideo.php?vid=547e8829a

As to what college kid said about telling his parents of our plans. I can't help agreeing. We discussed how it feels to talk to our moms and it was basically something like this: My mom is willing to listen to me when I have a problem, and help me work things out, but she's also kinda distant.... =.=;; Like, I'd better be dying if I call her at 2 a.m. and sometimes she won't give me advice because she doesn't want to make up my mind for me. On the other hand, if I've made a decision and it's clear that I'm not wavering, she falls behind me rather quickly and helps with advice and warnings that really do tend to be useful. My Step-dad is a little more strict with his views, but he also believes me to be level-headed, or else just really lucky.... I'm not sure what he thinks of me, to be honest. I do think he spoils me though. Like, just generally supports and indulges my attitudes because he thinks it's cute. .....Dunno. He's just generally lenient with me. I would like to lay the thanks for that at my own feet. I'm 23, married, and have no children. I've beat the hell out of my sister's examples, don't you think?

Collegekid's mom is easy to talk to, but I kind of feel like I have to treat her with kid gloves. I could never imagine talking to her about sex, for example, but I've always been comfortable talking to my mom about it. She's sweet and supportive, but naive and has warped views on things sometimes. At least she's willing to try to understand our sides of things. My father-in-law is very set in his ideas, and pushes his opinions because he believes they are right, and we are wrong, and we should always listen to him. Life doesn't work that way. I think Collegekid spoiled his parents too much growing up by not actively debating beliefs and opinions often enough. His dad isn't used to being opposed, and I'm worried he will quite readily blame me for his son's 'unusual rebelliousness'.... Admittedly, Collegekid would likely never have opposed his family in such dramatic ways if he hadn't dated and married me, but I like to think our relationship is worth at least that much. But because he isn't lenient and doesn't like to consider things from our side and beliefs, it makes talking about big decisions in our lives rather difficult to do with him.

I at least don't want to talk to him more than I have to. I like him, to be honest. But it's difficult to continue liking someone that seems to vaguely dislike me. :/ Also, its hard to talk to him because he's hard of hearing, and I'm naturally soft-spoken. I'm also not very willing to repeat myself more than twice, because my sisters had the habit of saying 'Huh?' to buy time when you talked to them. =.=;;

On a new note, I'm back to wondering if I'm scary and intimidating to people that don't know me very well. I seem to go through cycles of this. I know I can be charming and sweet, but since that isn't all I am, I find myself awkwardly trying to deal with new people in an honest manner. I'm beginning to think honesty is overrated. ;__; It is soooo troublesome. Have you noticed most of my issues stem from my dedication to being as honest as I can? I don't want to compromise my values but I also don't want to make people feel awkward and suspicious of me for the rest of my life.

I wonder if I'm turning into the female version of a creepy otaku. I feel like it. I should start working out. It's been nice and cool, and yet I can't seem to motivate myself to go out running. I'd like to start doing yoga again, but it's a little expensive, and the place I like is rather far away from where I live. Maybe I should look for closer places or ask my classmates if they have any recommendations. I already impressed them with my high karate kick. The teacher made me do it an extra time so everyone could admire how high it goes (to my opponent's head). Maybe I can impress them with my yoga awesomeness?

I like this song. It's vivid and interesting and the beat is very fun.

S/S Scholarship/Sickness

It seems whenever something exciting happens to me, that I also inevitably end up sick as well. When I was accepted to S&M, I had strep throat and couldn't even tell anyone I'd been accepted. When I got my scholarship on Friday (yay!!) I could barely talk enough to make the calls I needed to, and then I kinda lost my voice all weekend. My tonsils were swollen and irritated, my voice was strange, and I generally ached, hurt, or just didn't feel well the whole weekend.

Hubby took good care of me, and didn't even try to stay away from my germs (that's a first). I'm surprised he didn't catch it, and can only conclude that it wasn't contagious.

So the scholarship is for $1000, divided into $250 for each quarter assuming my grades stay above 70%. I think I can manage that, so long as I keep calm and move on. We had our touch assessment tonight, where we worked on an instructor for 15 minutes and they gave us feedback on quality of touch, strokes, and any other feedback they had. Mine went well. The talking only took a minute or two at the beginning and the end, and I managed to finish everything without rushing too much. I should work on my pressure, but I can blame the table for being too high as well.

I finally remembered to take the suckers to school with me that were left over after Halloween. A lot of people liked them. I also took some rice krispie treats, and two had messages from hubby that he'd written months ago. It was sweet! I wrote new messages on the ones that didn't have one that said "You're awesome!" or "You go girl/guy!" I'm not sure if anyone really noticed the little messages, but they all got eaten.

I made a terrible mistake. When at Costco over the weekend, I bought a 56 oz. bag of m&ms. We have not stopped munching on them all weekend, and we're down to half the bag now. >.<

I got new underwear! I love Aerie's underwear options. They usually have one or two new styles, and new patterns, every time I go in as well as old ones that I found I liked. I got 8 new pairs for $21~! Finally threw away the old black and pink pairs that I didn't like and were worn away. Runa feels better!

Tomorrow we have a practical exam showing we know how to do the Swedish massage within an hour without many mistakes. I'm not all that worried about it. I do want to get my homework done though. I didn't do it over the weekend like I normally would have because I wasn't feeling well and didn't expect to be able to remember it.

I've heard this song on the radio lately and I rather like it. The video gets better over time. Damn, I really need to start reading/watching Naruto again. It looks like it's gotten even cooler.

What would you do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnOt1ZSp_tw

I really enjoy these videos. They show humanity as well as callousness. I appreciate the look into people's pysches that these videos offer. You should look through them.

Some made me cry. I know what I would do with most of them, but even I'm unsure of what I would do in some situations.

On another note, what do you think about public breastfeeding? When I was in Japan, it was actually quite common. So I'm totally fine with it, but I think I'd rather have my husband there with me to help mitigate onlookers from commenting. If you're going to breastfeed your child, it's going to require a bit of public feeding if you don't pump'n'store. I'm not certain of the safety of the milk once it's been pumped and left for any amount of time, either though. So what would you do? Will you breastfeed, and just hide at home for weeks until your baby can be brought out for a couple of hours without needing to feed?

Pineapples: I think this would be interesting for you. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRJ3PRestDM
What bothers me, is that when you're raised completely without meat, eating meat WILL make you sick. Your body is not longer adapted to eat it. So these people are trying to MAKE the child sick. I think it's really cool how they were at a barbeque restaurant and all the patrons stood up for the vegans though. ^.^

It's really heartening to see people respond without knowing they were being recorded. I've watched a LOT of them today (Feeling sick, so I'm basically just crying at the videos and smiling and wanting to share them all but settling for just a few) and actually seen a few real life instances of people being helped, without it being a WWYD. I've seen mothers get help with paying for groceries, and I've seen mothers that actually count on it, otherwise they wouldn't be able to get any food. There are good and bad things about these types of assistance, but ultimately, I think helping is never really a bad thing.

Massage is guuuuuud.

So I turned in my scholarship essays and stuff today. I hate leaving things til the last minute, but at least I got it in. >.< Thanks to hubby for looking it over for me.

Today we put together Swedish massage of the front legs, feet, and abdomen. Tomorrow we learn arms and legs. :) Also tomorrow, I'll be meeting people for some out of class study on practical draping and such. I really need the practice, and the more you do outside of class, the better you ultimately become.

:X My last two partners loved my massage. They said it was the best they had had yet. ^////^ It made me happy, but I also want to know what to improve. It looks like right now I need to focus on improving my body awareness so I don't strain anything because I'm not doing it right. My hips and wrists tend to hurt, for example. So I end up sore most days. It's probably because I'm leaning forward, so I need to watch that.

I'm pretty sure two of my partners have fallen asleep on me.... One did for sure, because when I started tapoting her legs, she gasped and told me she had dozed off. I panicked, thinking I'd hurt her, so she had to explain. I guess she was tired. ^.^ The other just.... stopped responding. I check in frequently, making sure the pressure is good and the feeling is right, but they just stop responding and I'm never sure if that's because they're tired of answering my questions or if they're dozing and don't hear me. Tonight's partner also stopped responding for a while, but when I went to do the abdomen she started responding again. I don't mind the doze and snooze, but I want recommendations! One partner said "Oh, you're definitely going to be successful!" I was very flattered.

Doing a good massage leaves me feeling a little energized, a little happy, and very satisfied. If I can keep feeling this way about my choice, I think I'll be quite happy in life.

That's all. Oh wait. I also joined a scanlation group to translate a manga I love. Now I'm their Japanese to English translator, though honestly I was just volunteering to help until they found someone else! =.=;; Oh well. I have to keep up with my Japanese somehow, right? It's not bad at all.

The second essay

The second one is an essay explaining your current situation and why you are in need of scholarship funds.


At the end of April, my contract as a security guard ended, and my husband encouraged me to get knee surgery while I wasn't otherwise occupied. So near the end of May, I had ACL reconstruction surgery and have been recovering slowly but steadily. My leg isn't as strong or as durable as it used to be, but that will get better with time and proper care. I attend physical therapy every week and work my leg to its limits often, trying to increase my recovery speed. While I am recovering, working a full time job or even a part time job that won't cause damage to my leg is very difficult, especially while also attending massage school. Just the squats and lunges we perform daily wears me out completely and I know working a job at the same time would be a difficult and possibly dangerous decision until my leg is much better than it currently is. 
On top of my current difficulty with working, my husband's student grants have been revoked because he changed from a Ph D. student to a Masters'. He's working a few additional jobs to bring in as much extra income as possible. In a single day he may be a TA for two different classes, tutor two students for an hour and a half, and work at a facility to help children learn mathematics in more efficient and logical ways. My husband really works hard for us, and any way I can lighten his load is a relief for both of us. 
The money we used to pay for my school tuition came out of our savings. We know it is a good investment, so it was worth every penny, but being able to put some money back in would be a wonderful thing for us. In February, my niece will be offered up for adoption, and we are hoping to get custody of her and bring her to live with us until either she is grown, or her mother becomes able to care for her. It's more likely that we will be caring for her until she's an adult, but there's always the hope that my sister will get her act together. In any event, we're saving as much as possible in order to both sustain ourselves, and care for our niece. I hope to be able to start working part time sometime in January to help with the household budget and to help save up for when she comes to live with us. 
A scholarship would be money saved for when events take a turn for the worse, or for when we find ourselves overwhelmed by the cost of living. We don't depend on our families for help with income, both because we want to be independent adults, and because it isn't fair to depend on people that are already struggling to make ends meet.  So far we have managed to live on our own, and it's our sincere hope to continue to be independent, capable adults. Incidentally, by the time I graduate, I should have recovered from the surgery almost completely and be able to work as though I were never injured. After I graduate, I'm sure I'll be able to find work and begin recouping the cost of education but until then, some assistance would be very helpful. Thank you for your time and your patience in hearing my story. 


Yeaaaaah..... I never know how to end an essay or a story. All comments and suggestions will be listened to (even if I'm cringing at the idea at the moment) and I really would appreciate your help everyone. Thanks, and I hope to hear from all of you soon!

Alrighty, scholarship crunch!

So I have the essay requirements now, and I have drafted essays meeting their requirements. I hope you all will provide me with some instructive criticism and helpful advice so I can turn this in on Monday with a clear conscience.


The first one says to write: a 250 to 400-word statement regarding why you wish to become a massage therapist. What I've written is 397 words long. Here you are:

When I was a child, I would often see my siblings rubbing my Mom's shoulders, legs, and back. It was such a common sight that I soon joined in, and as I got older, I began receiving the same treatment after a rough day at whatever sport's practice I did that year. I also practiced my massage in order to make my Mom and sisters say 'Ahh' or 'Oh' or 'Yeah, that's the spot' more often to me than anyone else. Their pleasure and inability to restrain their satisfaction was the ultimate victory to me. When I reached my teenage years, I often supplemented my paltry allowance by giving massages to my Mom. The price steadily increased with my skill, because when she asked me how much I wanted for it, I would say 'Pay me what you think the massage is worth.' I could make up to twenty dollars a week, just for being able to ease her aches. I thought there couldn't be a better job in the world.
When I was sixteen, I discussed becoming a massage therapist with my Mom and was surprised at her adamant refusal to consider it. She was a nail technician herself, and swore that massage would wear my hands out within five years and I would be useless in the field after that. Scared and willing to trust my Mom, I dropped the issue.
Years passed, and I was always reminded of how massage could connect you to someone with just a simple touch. When I got married and we moved here to Austin, despite being happily married, I was very lonely. My husband isn't the best masseuse I've ever had, and he doesn't enjoy doing it, so the pleasure I can get from it isn't like with my family at all. Aching, lonely, and confused by the magnitude of my loneliness, my husband and I searched for professional massage establishments. I found relief for my body and soul in those places, and realized it was integral to my happiness. I asked the therapists about their hand shelf-life, and they assured me it was long. With that fear eased, I began looking into massage school for myself.
I want to connect with others, ease their pain, and provide an essential stress reliever. Being paid for it is a bonus. Getting certified and learning is what I'm here for.

The second one is an essay explaining your current situation and why you are in need of scholarship funds.

Its too late at night for me to draft this one up satisfactorily, so I'll sleep on it and write it tomorrow. I hope you will check in and give me good advice on both. Thank you all!

See what happens when I get up at decent hours.....

I'm tired. I'm energy-less. All because I couldn't get back to sleep this morning after saying bye to hubby. That was around 9. I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE NINE?? WHAT IS THIS!??!?!

I laid in bed til 10 30 or so, then I played on the computer til I decided I should eat something (because hunger just hasn't existed lately) and discovered the last of the milk carton's milk has gone bad. When I took a bite. Uuuuugh. So I tossed it and tried again with the milk I picked up last night. It was okay.

Then I read some more, and finally felt like I was waking up until I got up. Then I realized how tired and sleepy I am. It's not like I had any grand plans or anything, but I did want to finish applying for scholarships, make dinner, read a book perhaps, and prepare for massage school tonight.

Last night we worked on backs! They ran us through the process of how to do it, then we faced the real challenge: Dressing and undressing under the blankets. It's ridiculously difficult. Especially putting on your bra under the sheets. It just doesn't work well on a massage table.

I was the receiver first, and it didn't feel like a professional massage at all. I kept struggling to give good feedback that she could use, but I was rather limited, (half)naked on a table. Then I was the giver, and she gave pretty good feedback, though she kept saying 'more pressure'. =.=

Maya is getting more bold about wanting to be petted and cuddled. When her stomach hurts she comes to me to rub it for her. ...When she's bored she comes to me. When she's hungry, she comes to me. When she sees me, she comes to me. When I use the restroom, she tries to get in, and if she can't, she waits outside the door for me. When I eat, she watches me. When I sleep, she sleeps near me. Or else hops up and meows to see if I'm getting up... until I get up. I would set up play-dates for her if I thought she might not tear any other animal a new tail. So scary. I have a Stalker!Cat.

Waaaah! They really used a lot of the material of Sailor Moon! I'm impressed!

Massage School: SO INTERESTING!!

They have worked the logistics out over a 20 year period. The classes are: 1 hour lecture on homework material, including 'fill-in-the-blanks' study sheets passed out on the first day, followed by 3 hours of practical 'learning by doing' with a fifteen minute break every hour, or whenever the students call for one.

The material is so interesting. The teachers are incredibly competent. And the location is so convenient! I'm loving it!

My only problem: The key to succeeding is practice. Constantly. Hubby has his own homework to do. I can't make him lay on a table for an hour while I practice on him over and over! >.< I think there's an easy enough solution: Find a classmate with time on their hands, and practice on each other. Troublesome, but effective. I'll worry about it a bit more when I have more to practice than simply draping the sheet over a body.

I was a little worried about my body and this school. I had good reason. My leg won't do the squats and lunges we're supposed to do for very long. I can do it at first, but it soon gets too painful. This is my reason (excuse) for not going jogging tonight. Technically I have every reason to, and none not to, but I can't get myself out the door. Go figure.

My classmates are all very interesting, and very sincere (or else searching for their own place to belong). We went around the circle tonight and shared our reasons for coming to this massage school, and a little about our lives. It was very interesting and helps you remember each person, even if the name escapes you.

My cat is apparently desperate for attention. Yesterday I picked her up with the intention of holding her too close, rubbing her too energetically, and scratching her too hard. I amuse myself by torturing her sometimes. It backfired. She leaned in, laid down on me, and soaked it all up. This means I need to give her some bonafide kitty-loving sessions. I haven't done it in a while, she probably needs grooming, and it'll be a good de-stressor. Maybe I can even practice some massage methods on her.



Japanese TV in one hour. Pretty funny and interesting, but long. Take breaks. :P
http://hannahbrencher.com/2013/04/04/25-things-every-woman-needs-to-know/

Can I throw the cat out into the rain? Please?

She keeps meowing from like 7:30 in the morning until I actually get up (12-1 p.m.). It is not a pleasant experience, especially when I have some awesome mystery/adventure dreams like I've been having lately. And then there's the fact that I'm generally cold in the morning, so I don't ever want to get out from under the covers. And she doesn't need food, water, or litter! That's the most frustrating thing!

Today, except for that, I was actually in a pretty good mood. I wanted to look cute for when hubby came home, so I put on a short skirt (that I would almost never wear outside), a black tank top, and got to preparing dinner. Then when he put the key in the lock, I hopped up, ready to greet him at the door. When he walked in though, I realized he was on the phone (Again), so I just pouted and didn't hug or cuddle like I had planned. I don't like competing with phones. It isn't fair to either of us. So he hung up and then I huggled him. He seemed very amused by my pouting. Poopyhead....

Then we had a pot roast for dinner, with some parmesan cheese garlic toast (that was really really salty) while Pineapples told us the good news! And then we watched Whose Line, which we haven't actually seen in weeks. For some reason we just started watching other stuff and didn't remember it.

After dinner we went to our separate interests (Read: Runa demanded manga time, and hubby found something else to do) until I realized how much I wanted cheesecake. When I mentioned it to Hubby, he suggested Cheesecake Factory. I had been ready for some Walmart Cheesecake, but I will never balk at getting better food, so off to the Factory we went! I picked out the Oreo Extreme Cheesecake, and Hubby got the Chocolate Mousse one. Then we watched an episode of cupcake wars while we ate half of our cheesecakes (while sharing with each other). I didn't really like the top half of mine, and actually ended up offering it to hubby because I just couldn't get excited over it and felt it was wasteful to eat something I didn't really want. Hubby's mousse was really good, but the bottom chocolate half and top frosting on my own tasted better, so even though he preferred mine as well, we didn't switch. I was stingy.

Lol. Hubby was hugging and cuddling me at the restaurant, saying how much he spoils me. I just happily agreed, saying that he makes me happy. Then he wondered how happy I would be when he spoils our kids. I thought about it, and finally answered simply enough: I'll counterbalance his spoiling. No problem. We're opposites. We rock that way.

I'll end with a funny video. There's no subs, but essentially it's a show and the skit is: Grandma and Grandpa are stuck in a burning house where the 'firemen' can only reach them by soap stairs. Once you get wet, (as you'll see) the options for getting to the top greatly decrease. It's pretty good.

Big Decisions!

Yesterday I picked up my massage table and my books for classes next week. I'm really excited, but I'm also nervous. I always get nervous, but it's still troubling. I want to do well, make friends, and learn a lot. But I don't know how well I'll do, since I've only ever been home-trained.

I also talked to hubby yesterday about something important that I've been putting off. I put it off because there's still plenty of time, but my niece is going up for adoption in February if my sister doesn't get her act together. I can't fully imagine my sister getting her act together, but I hope she does, because otherwise my mom will be making a 'bid' for Mimi. She's not sure she'll get her though, so I also want to make a 'bid' for her. She's an older child, so if she' isn't adopted by one of us, she will likely go to an orphanage. An older child in an orphanage is not likely get adopted, or even to have much success, and we don't want to be separated from her for the next seven years.

The reason I don't think my mom will get her is this: She just adopted Chay (after years of threatening to). Next month (November) Cin's baby boy, Max, will be up for adoption if she isn't doing well enough to take him back (and I don't think she'll ever be ready). Mom is going to make a strong bid for him, because as a little six month old half white/black baby boy, he is very likely to be adopted if he goes to an orphanage and we don't want that to happen (but really, my only real reason against it (since I've never met the babe) is because I don't think my sister would ever recover from losing her SECOND little boy. She's still stuck on her first that she gave up willingly. They took him from her without any warning, before they ever left the hospital. She will never recover from losing him, especially since her tubes are tied now.). That was a long (). Sorry. So if Mom gets him, which is totally possible, she'll have adopted two of her daughters' boys within six months. And then three months later, she'll be making another bid for one of her daughters' girls? I just don't think the courts are going to keep deciding in her favor, especially with the drama about Mimi and Chay and their difficulty living together.

So last night I talked to hubby about our taking Mimi on. She'll be eleven in December, and going to a therapist really seems to have had a good effect on her (though I haven't met her in over a year). She loves singing and dancing, and there's a bus that picks up elementary students in front of the office and drops them off (I just checked a few minutes ago) so we wont have to take her to school ourselves. There's the additional money for food, and the additional person on the water bill. The occasional new clothes (Goodwill is our friend), and maybe (but I doubt it) some school supplies (we have tons). We already have an extra room, with an extra bed, and a dresser drawers. The most difficulty I see is actually physically getting her here. She's halfway across the states, but a plane ticket for her is possible. The airfare for one adult and one child from there to here at the end of Feb is about 200 dollars total, so that isn't too bad either. The problem is getting someone to escort her here. I may have to go myself to get her. I just don't know.

I need to find a lawyer to talk to about the procedures for putting in a bid, how much that may cost, if they need to do a home study of our place, and how to get all that paperwork to the court in NC where they'll be conducting this.

I also want to talk to my mom and see if she can't persuade the court to delay Mimi's adoption until the end of the school year so she won't be switching school so much (and so hubby and I will be out of school and able to be there ourselves). If they will do that, I am MUCH more confident that we'll be able to do something to get her ourselves. Hopefully hubby will start looking and applying to good locations in December or January for his own line of work, saying he'll be able to start at the end of May after he graduates. I'll be finished with massage school at the end of April, which will give us time to pick out our new location (or decide to stay here), select an apartment, and give me a little time to find a job myself in the same area. Then we will both have potentially stable jobs, in a new area, during the summer so she can adjust to a new location (and maybe make some friends, but also giving us time to get to know her and her needs/habits/requirements), we can get paperwork filled out for her to start at a new school, and we'll all get a new start as a family.

Another plus point I mentioned to hubby is, in two years we'll be looking to have our own baby. Mimi is familiar with little ones, and she likes them. She'll be very helpful to have around when hubby is panicking or working, while I'm cleaning or cooking, etc. She's half-grown! Sure she's gonna want all this technology that she's used to, but she also respects us, so if we don't give in to her demands for them (and I'm not sure she would really demand them, since she also likes books like me) and maintain our stance, we'll all be able to adjust. Hubby suggested we could get her her own little TV for Christmas or something, and I know she has her own game systems. Just because we don't want a TV doesn't mean she has to do without one. I'm not sure of the price difference, but I would rather get her a simple little computer for herself, and maybe resume our Netflix account so she'll have Hulu and Netflix for entertainment, and not tons of mind-numbing shows that she'll just leave on for hours. Because that adds up on the electricity bill, and I also don't really like that high-pitched screetch that TVs make when they're on. With a computer we can enforce a time-limit better than a TV (maybe by turning it off, or having it password protected and only us knowing the password, so when it's time to get off, she no longer has access to it).

Well, anyway, I'm getting really ahead of myself. These are just things I've considered and some things I've discussed with Hubby. He's really not keen on sharing me, but he'll have to do it sometime, and I think it'll be a little better on him to start with a kid that can at least be logical. Babies aren't logical. You can't reason with them. You can only cave into the demands and beg for clemency before you lose your mind.

I'm also considering going to the Goodwill Community Foundation near our home that helps you find jobs. Well, I'm more than considering it. I'm pretty determined to look into it and see what they can do for me. My job requirements and my experience are so varied, that it makes even looking for a job difficult. I'm also still waiting to hear back from Apple, but I think it means they've been trying other people and still think I'm possible, just not their first choice. They're probably seeing if their first choices work out, and just keeping me on the line. Which is sad, but kinda always my experience when applying to places.

I will also get in contact with my old boss MM, and see if he's willing to help me out with interview tips (since he interviews so many people) and do some mock interviews with me when he has some time. And I'll contact R and see if she'll do the same, and maybe have some advice on interview clothing, and what to wear to what type of job interview. They're both friends, so I'm very hopeful that they will be willing to help. It's just asking for assistance that I have so much trouble with. But I will try. I want to improve and make good impressions so I can get good jobs and have a good time with a company of my choice.

Oops. This got a lot longer than I meant for it to, but it's thoughts that have been in my head for the last few days. Perhaps that's why I've had so much trouble sleeping.

I haven't even told you about the poopy-incident with the toilet flooding our apartment twice when we hadn't even used the restroom! ....And you know what? I don't think I'm going to. Suffice to say, I cleaned the damned floors twice, we're considering throwing out our rugs, and the apartment still smells funny. It's good that it's cooling down here. Today's high is 84, so I've left the windows open to let some fresh air get in.

I'll stop now. Really. Just one last thing. I actually had a bit of trouble understanding the announcer guy, but I understood the people that got tricked, so it was still funny. Watch it: