I hope Rozy continues to have a good week, since I know yesterday was rough, but today was good, so tomorrow should be even better, right? If it's a linear line....
I missed talking to Pineapples today....it really made me sad. I was all excited about it too.
I have a massive amount of help from E to get my hw done today. I have one paper finished and turned in, my sakubun (Japanese paper) written and turned in, and my Jap Rel. paper written and turned in. I only have to write a two page reflection paper and share all the documents I didn't do because I didn't go to class with my English teacher, and I'll be good to go~! Oh, and commit mass hours of study to spanish. I need to pass it. I want to continue to learn it without having to repeat the class. That would be annoying.
I have to meet with my advisor at some point this next week. I want to change my majors, but I don't have the GPA for it. So I don't know what to do. *Sigh*
I got to not have to participate in Badminton today because I threw up and felt bad for just about the entire day. I also took to staring out at the world and listening to music and being completely content until I remembered that my paper was due in a few minutes and I needed to finish it.....
And finally, I watched no anime, spent no quality time with bf, and did nothing particularly fun today. It's all my own fault, and I shouldn't be depressed about any of these things, but....i feel the not-happiness....i feel it....
Now, I'm going to expound on a few heavy thoughts, so you can stop reading if you value your brain's current consistency.
Why do ppl say that they didn't 'ask for this' so it's not their fault, and they don't care. I didn't ask for others to get hurt, but i still care when i see it, and i still want to help. I didn't throw the trash on the ground, but if i just pass it by, doesn't that lower me down a level each time until i'm on the same level? That's how i feel. I don't particularly like the saying 'if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem' because i believe you're helping solve it by not being a problem, but when i watched someone let a bottle drop, and didn't take issue with it, i felt ashamed of myself. yeah, it wasn't my 'job' and yeah, i was tired and really content to just relax with bf, but i shouldn't have let it go. i just don't like confronting ppl. i'd rather just clean up after them, but i don't feel like that would solve the problem of trash. back to the topic at hand though. How do you know you didn't ask for this? You don't remember it! I don't know WHAT i signed up for before i was born, before i came into my consciousness, but this is what i was given. so i wanna do well at anything i can. yes, i suck at school work, and yes, i'm not particularly talented at much, but i still want to do my best and make the others around me happy to know me. happy to be alive. i want to be sure that no one around me thinks their life isn't worth living. anyways, just because you blacked out after drinking too much, it doesn't mean you didn't do whatever you really did do. just because you don't remember it, does NOT mean you did not do it. you really may have signed up for this. who knows, maybe you were a saint in a previous life and you wanted to test yourself so you signed up for another round of living. i mean seriously, none of us know where our consciousness comes from, no one can tell us where our consciousness will end up, so why do you stress unfairness in life? it doesn't help your problem in a way that is beneficial. it just makes you more frustrated with your life and living. grow some balls and man up. take what you're given and turn it into the best thing you can.
Quote: "Take the shit you're given, and grow you some bananas. Because really, then you can feed yourself with minimal effort." - me...sadly enough.
This starts out great, though I know most of my 'readers' will be like 0_0 by the end, if they make it that far:
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