Nyuuph

No, that is not a foreign word. It's the word of my mood right now. I say things/sigh things that basically sum up my feelings. Currently, I'm realizing how narrow my world is. I read an article about how important being globally, locally, and business-ly aware is for hiring and surviving in a company. *Sigggggh* I honestly don't care very much about things of that sort. It's not my business, and it's too controversial for my tastes. I avoid conflict when possible, and if I find something to stand behind, I DO defend it. Much safer to read books and give opinions. They're less .....important, I suppose. No one is going to murder you for saying that a book was enjoyable when they found it distasteful.
Hmmm, y'know, I live my life peacefully in a daze. It's a self-induced daze, so that I don't try too hard, or hurt myself, but sometimes I slip and get passionate about something. I'm scared of being passionate about things. They've always been banned to me when I expressed my passion before. But I'm supposed to be growing up, so maybe I should try again. I'm so scared of the power I give people though....I've never had a problem with it since I stopped being as passionate and involved as I was years and years ago, because since I'm not passionate about it, people betraying me, mocking me, trying to hurt me held little power. They couldn't REALLY succeed and torture me because I never let it bother me. As long as I see the betrayal coming, I'm prepared and can face it calmly. If I open back up, and let myself focus and dedicate myself to things, I'm sure there's going to be drama and fights and hurt feelings and banns on what I love. I'm a coward. Writing this, I really realize what a coward I can be. I don't want anything else to be taken from me. It's like how I hide my sweet side, and 'lash' out at my loved ones to keep them from seeing how sappy and sugary I can be. *cringe* I'm sure you've all seen me sickly sweet before. It's disgusting and obvious just how much I care and love you when I slip up and do that. Too much love is frightening and trapping, and I want to set everyone I love free to live and learn, and always be there when they want and need me. That's my vision of love. True, reciprocated love is when they stay beside you regardless of how you let them go, and leave them to their own devices. ^///^ You know, this is just embarrassing me more and more. If you don't recognize my 'being sickly sweet' I'm prolly sweet to you regularly. Specifically to females. They're cute and evoke my protective instincts.
You know, I regularly wonder if someone's gonna take my written words differently from how I meant them. I wonder if I'm conveying myself correctly and ppl are taking from my words what I meant them to. Oh well, I haven't had that happen just yet.
Oh, you know, I just realized. Can't our blogs count as 'writing' daily? I wonder how much I've written on this blog.....Maybe one day I'll be counted as a professional too. ^_^
Phew, I guess I've written a good bit tonight. Thanks to E for making me think alot. But quit asking about my favorite secret place!!!! >_<